Zyxel

A paperboy is doing his monthly round of collecting money from customers. One door is opened by a fairly sexy, buxom woman, who is wearing a transparent lace negligee. “Hi Missus I’ve come for the paper money, it’s $5 please.” says our boy, with his hand held out. “I’m afraid I’ve no money in the house, ” the woman replies in a breathy voice, “but if you come in I’m sure I can think of something. . .” So our lad goes in and the woman throws herself back on the fireside rug, pulling off the negligee, moaning “You can have ME instead. . .” The kid sighs, takes off his bag, and then produces a dick that would be more in place on a stud bull. The woman is agog. Our lad then produces a load of big rubber rings from his bag, which he proceeds to stack around his giant knob. “What are they for?” asks the woman. “Oh, they’re just to make sure I don’t go all the way in when I shag you.” replies the boy. “To hell with them! implores the woman, “I’ll take all of you!” Our lad replies. . . “Not for five f.....g dollars you wont!”

Bob was an aspiring wrestler, and worked his way up through the ranks, until he finally got a match with the champion. In an interview before the match, he was asked about the champ’s trademark hold, the Alcatraz Hold, so-named because nobody ever got out of it. His reply was that he’d avoid having it applied to himself. Despite his confidence and abilities, soon after the fight began, he found himself caught in the dreaded Alcatraz Hold. The commentator was in the middle of saying that it looked like the champ had racked-up another win, when Bob literally exploded into action, broke the hold, and pinned his surprised opponent. Afterwards, during the interview, he was asked how he had managed to get out of the most inescapable hold in wrestling history. “Well”, he explained, “He managed to maneuver me into a position that let him get me into that hold, and I honestly thought it was over. I could see an arm here, a leg there, and right in front of my face was a pair of balls. I did the only thing I could; I stretched my neck, and bit those balls as hard as I could. You don’t know your own strength, until you’ve bitten your own balls!”

I can do it with my left hand only, can not have the ring finger straight with my right hand when the pinky is above the thumb.