Zyxel

Two statues, a male and female, stood in Central Park for 50 yrs. One day a fairy came along and granted them 24 hrs to be human. POOF!! Off the dashed into the bushes!!! There’s a lot of brush shacking and grunting and huffing!!! Six hours later the male comes out, ”Phew, I’m getting tired!” The female says, “Hey, we’ve only got 18 hrs, get back in here and handle business!” So, off he goes again and there’s bushes shaking, dirt flying, huffing, puffing and screaming going on. 12 hrs later, the male comes crawling out, grabbing dirt and can no longer stand! “I, just can’t go anymore, you’re killing me!” The female says, “Look, be a man! We’ve only 6 hrs left and we’re back on that perch forever!” The male, looks up at the perch looks back at the female, wipes his brow, looks up again, and back. Then he says, “Alright, but this time, I’LL hold the pigeons and YOU sh-t on them!”

One day, the US military decided to take a poll to see how the different branches handle a specific situation, in this case a scorpion in a service member's tent. One representative from each major branch is selected, and each answers privately. The question was a simple one: "There is a scorpion in your tent. What do you do?" Army: "I would crush it with my boot and throw it outside." Navy: "I would pick it up by the tail and throw it outside." Marines: "I'd bite its head off before cooking and eating it." Air Force: "I'd call down to the front desk and ask why there's a tent in my hotel room."

Ron Chestna 89 years of age was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife."