Zyxel

A Russian woman married an Australian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Melbourne. The poor lady was not very proficient in English but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs. Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts. On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

A guy walks in a bar and asks for a rum and coke. To his surprise, the bartender gives him an apple. “HEY what the hell is this? I asked for a rum and coke and you give me an apple??” “Take a bite.” the bartender says. He bites the apple and his eyes light up and he exclaimed. “This taste just like rum. What did you soak it in?” The bartender waves his finger. “Turn it around.” He takes a bite on the other side of the apple and he is shocked. The other side taste like coke! “It's a rum and coke apple!! Wow!!! A rum and coke apple. That's pretty cool!!! A second guy comes to the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender hands him an apple. “HEY what's this going on here? I asked for a gin and tonic?” The first guy nods his head and said “take a bite.” He takes a bite and and exclaimed “this taste like tonic water!!! You give me a tonic water apple?” The bartender waves his finger and told him to “turn it around.” He takes a bite out of the other side and he was shocked to find it tastes like gin. “It's gin!! A gin and tonic apple.” The two were confused but delighted. While they marveled at their discovery a third guy comes to the bar and is about to order when the two guys tell him “order an apple! I've got a gin and tonic apple and he got a rum and coke.” He's got apples that taste like anything you want here “ The third guy thinks for a second, looks at the bartender, then says “I want the sweet taste of a woman apple.” The bartender hands him an apple and he takes a bite and immediately spits it out on the bar and yells “this apple taste like s...t!!” The bartender waves his finger and says “turn it around”

```Two Old ladies are smoking CAMEL brand cigarettes, when it starts raining. 1st lady pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette & continues smoking. 2'nd lady:- What's that? 1st lady :- It's a condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Next day the 2nd lady goes to the chemist & asks for condom. Chemist looks at her strangely (she's over 80 years), but politely asks what brand she prefers. Lady:- It doesn't matter as long as it fits the Camel.``` *Chemist* is still *Recovering*_