Zyxel

Three mice are sitting at the bar, knocking down a few whiskys. They get to bragging and the first mouse says, “yeah they put rat poison out at my place; I’ve developed a tolerance to it, in fact I kind of like it now—I sprinkle it on my cereal in the mornings.” The second mouse says, “Meh, that’s nothing. They use those mouse traps at my place. I take the cheese and spring the trap, when the bar comes down, I grab it, do some chest presses to keep my pecs in shape, and then enjoy the cheese.” The third mouse gets off his bar stool, puts on his flat cap and heads to the door; turning to the other mice he says, “God, I’ve had enough of this bragging. I’m going home to screw the cat.”

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"