Zyxel

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

A husband and wife came for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, a long list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their quarter century of marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist stood up, walked around his desk and, asking the wife to stand, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth. The woman shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down;. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?" The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on the other days I play golf."

British humour An old gent is in his posh private club reading and having a drink when his fellow member Wardley comes in with his drink and newspaper and sits down. “I say, Wardley,” the first one says, “so sorry to hear you buried your wife last week.” “Yes,” replies Wardley wistfully, “had to…dead, you know.”

A little girl was walking with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating. "What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.The grandmother said, "The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor. "They're just like people, aren't they?" said the little one. "What do you mean?" asked the Grandma. "Offer someone a helping hand, and they f.... you every time!"

Whilst cruising along the highway, a man notices flashing lights in his rear view mirror and pulls over onto the shoulder. After pulling in behind him, the cop walks up to the man's car and leans in through the window. "Sir, have you been drinking this evening?" asks the cop. "No" replies the confused motorist. "Why, was I all over the road?" "No, your driving is fine sir. It's the fat, ugly chick in the passenger seat that's raised my suspicions".