Zyxel

A cop sees a car drive by, and the driver is not wearing his seat belt. So he pulls over an elderly couple, decides to give them a warning. As he approaches the vehicle, he sees the driver reach up and put on his seat belt. You know, we have a mandatory seat belt law, he says. I have my seat belt on, the old guy replies. I saw you put it on as I came up, says the cop. I’ve had it on since I left the house. Ask the wife! (Heavy sigh) Look, I’m just giving you a warning. Wear your seat belt. Old guy is outraged. My seat belt is on! I have had it on since I left my driveway. Ask the wife! Cop just wants to end it. Ma’am, do you corroborate that he’s had it on the whole time? I never argue with him when he’s been drinking.

A horse and a chicken were playing in a meadow. The horse fell into a mud pool and began to sink. The horse called to the chicken to go and get help from the farmer. The chicken ran to the farm but the farmer was nowhere to be found, and so she drove the farmer's BMW back to the mud pool and tied a length rope around the bumper. She then threw the other end of the rope to her friend and drove the car forward, saving the horse from his muddy demise. The next day, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken called to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "There's no time! I have another idea - I think I can stand over the pool!" So he stretched over the width of the pool and said, "Grab my dick and pull yourself up!" The chicken did so and the horse pulled her to safety. The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

A guy in a $300,000 McLaren is breezing through a school zone, ignoring all the posted signs, when a cop pulls him over. Exasperated, he rolls his eyes at the cop and says, “look, I’m very busy with things you couldn’t possibly understand. What did I supposedly do anyway, Mack?” The cop says “well among other things you didn’t stop at that stop sign back there.” “oh cmon. Maybe I didn’t stop but I slowed down, what’s the difference? Can your little brain comprehend that?” The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts smacking the side and hood of the car. He says to the driver, “now… do you want me to SLOW DOWN, or do you want me to STOP?”