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A Thai advertisement saying "No to Corruption" is akin to seeing a Thai building site with a huge "Safety First" poster.

And then you see dozens of workers up dodgy scaffolding with no planks or guard rails, wearing steel capped flip-flops and a cloth safety helmet.

Translation: Talk the talk, but don't even try to walk the walk. I bet the grey economy of Thailand is actually bigger than the real economy.

Q. How many Thai blokes does it take to throw a scooter on the back of a pick-up truck.

A. One, or maybe two if they've only got one arm each.

Solution - get two one-armed Thai blokes to toss the scooter in the back of the truck.

Be a Boy Scout and always carry a spare.

Sometimes I just have to hold my head in my hands and weep.

The building will have had construction methods no better and no worse than those around it (i.e low grade concrete, sod all reinforcing/rebar, piles that are suitable for a carport at best).

If I was in any of the neighbouring properties I'd be checking out poste haste.

He should have gone for the trifecta and worn a stars 'n stripes T-shirt and a union jack pair of shorts.

Makes me wonder what style underwear he was wearing.

My bar bill is 35k per month.

But I do give free English lessons to the staff. Rather than saying "Sexy man, where you go?", they now say "Good evening sir/gentlemen, come in and enjoy a drink with us",

Turnover has increased considerably.

Just doing my bit for the Kingdom.

I doubt they included measuring the Thai consumption of condensed milk. Probably 10 times the international average.

Wonder if he was stamping his widdle feet while he was throwing the toys out of the cot?

Why didn't they just wave their wands and magic themselves back to civilisation.

True/Setanta has all the southern hemishere Super Rugby games, NRL, tests, the Aussie Rules, and State of Origin. Channel 669 for the first State of Origin today, kick-off at 5pm local time.

Setanta also shows the northern hemisphere league and union in their season, although one hesitates to call the northern hemisphere matches "rugby", as such.

You won't see any of the roundy ball game on Setanta.

EDIT: Better clarify re the Aussie Rules - Setanta show a few matches occasionally but more as fillers I think. They don't follow the season. I watch it on Sophon's Australia Channel, as they show most games.

If the Mum is 85, how old is his wife? Sixty five?

Condos and houses are ten a penny at the moment and it's been getting worse for landlords for the last three years. I rent a house in a village and am paying 12k less per month than I was four years ago because at renewals i always ask for a reduction due to an oversupply of houses for rent.

Luckily my several landlords (except one) have understand simple maths, and before I rented the current house it was vacant for over a year. The house I vacated a year ago is still empty, and i only wanted a 3k per month reduction.

OP - take the deal but insist on a 12 month contract and three months deposit up front. The maths is simple, and cutting of one's nose to spite one's face is rarely a wise decision.

Most delays in IMT's is because the initiating "bank" is not actuallly a bank, but some sort of mickey mouse credit union or building society that doesn't have a SWIFT number. The credit union or building society must therefore use an intermediary bank to facilitate the transfer. Typically, these transfers will be slow, and if you do it on a Friday then you're going to have delays.

And always make sure that the beneficiary name/s are identical to the receiving banks record of the account. A mis-spelling or an omission invariably means that the transaction will fall out of the automated basket and a staff member has to verify the validity of the beneficiary account.

I've used K-Bank for seven years and done many IMT's from New Zealand. Typically I can initiate the transaction online at 08:00 local time (13:00 Thai time) and I get a text from K-Bank saying the money has been deposited at 15:00 Thai time. The cut off time for IMT's in NZ is 15:00, or it goes the next day. So I never initiate a transfer after 13:00 NZ time.

OP you're afar qut. Anthing less than one million baht per month and you're not doing it right.

Yellow lemon can be called manaao farang.

Go figure.

What page of the "Thailand Myths and Urban Legend Book" by Dick H. Farang is that one on?

I heard from a friend that works service in a gogo bar in WS that "some" gogo bars will be opening at midnight tonight. Hopefully you ca hang on till then.

Mine wakes up on demand

Gilette Mach 3 is your friend.

Samsung S6 running marshmallow. All notifications are turned off, all the junk apps have been removed. I turn on data or wifi for the few occasions i use it per day. Otherwise it's a phone for messaging and using a language app.

Battery lasts me 5 days before it gets to 10% and I recharge it.

The missus has an S6, thrashes it all the time and the battery lasts 6 hours maybe. She carries a huge battery backup/recharger that weighs about a kilo so she always has a lifeline.

I feel sorry for the tech guys that designed the new phones and spent millions to shave a few grams off the weight and a few microns off the dimensions, so women can cart around a spare battery that weighs 7 times what the phone weighs.

I'm waiting for Samsung or Apple to finally figure out that what people want is a phone that runs for ages on the available battery. I do believe that in 5 years we will be buying smartphones attached to a suitcase size battery. Back to the future!

The answer is 1.

The problem is, if you just tap the numbers and processes into a calculator, it cannot get it right unless the bodmas is correct. Anybody who knows their maths doing it on paper or in their head should get it right, which is essentially 9-9+1.

Semi retired at 45. Fully retired at 49. Private income/wealth from working <deleted> hard from the age of 15 culminating in totally passive dividend income and wealth that I still have control over as a director, plus private income from private investments.

I'll never qualify for a government pension and shunned away from private schemes because it was obvious that most were a fiddle and there solely for the benefit of the administrators, who took no responsibility for their bad investment decisions. I decided at the age of 25 that relying on a "pension" of any sort as the bulk of your income post retirement was a very tenuous road to follow.

As for tax, I've said it before on this forum - treat the tax man like a mushroom and keep them in the dark. I've avoided more tax than I've paid in my lifetime through knowing how to dance around the rules. Most of my inclome is fully imputed, and the income that is liable for tax doesn't get declared.

Oh, and there's an old quote from somebody who said that once they retired they couldn't figure out how they ever found the time to go to work. How right they were!!!!

From my experience it always needs 2 keys:

Key 1: - The individual key, specific to each box number, currently issued to guest XXXXX.

Key 2: - A master key which is the same for every security box in that 'bank' of security boxes. Must be used in conjunction with key 1 above.

This story seems to suggest having the master key alone gives total access to open every security box.?

Um.....I think you'll find that 99.9% of hotel security boxes of this nature are a single key set of boxes bought at Homepro or similar.

They certainly won't be Bank grade security boxes (where one keeps one's gold bullion and bearer bonds) with twin key entry.

So a single "master" key is quite normal to access all/any boxes by staff - which is a worry. A bash with a partially boiled potato would probably open the doors anyway.

I never use hotel security boxes or safes. Prime targets for any little tea leaf.

Are you a smoker?