jambco984

You're not treating her as an equal. You initiated the separation. Now, you are ordering her to quit het job. If she's smart she won't come back.

Ordering, heavy word isn't it??

She wanted to quit the job but it was always, next month, next month kind of attitude. I don't think I am selfish in asking to spend time with my wife.

If you were smart you would see I'm genuine and not a <deleted>. I asked for peoples opinions but only useful ones. So jog on with your last sentence.

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Not had personal experience of this but if its of any help....

"is this the right move" Do not think any one except you is in a position to answer that, sorry

"binning off the well paid but crap job .." Personally unless you had another job to go to or a alternative source of income I would really think hard about that, obviously look for another job, but getting back together is probably going to be stressful enough, without the further complication of no income.

"I have laid out some new things I want to change" Fine but have you asked your wife how she wants you to change. I think it takes 2 to make a marriage although some on here subscribe to the "Do what you're told wife or get outI" maybe works for some.

And yes I am married.

I have asked her what she wants to do regards me changing. Personally i think im a saint haha. She will get back to me on that one.

Yeah only i can answer the big question.

It was the wife i was referring to quitting her job. She wants to finish if it means we can be together.

Lots of questions but i think my best course of action is to take it slowly.

We are both 27 so i do treat her as my equal not do as i say woman attitude

Thank you everyone

Great help

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binning off the well paid but crap job is one of them.

...can you explain the meaning of this, please?

My wife earns a decent (for a thai) paypack each month but i never see her. That is binning off telling her I want her to quit her job.

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Hello and good morning.

I have been married for a year and a half and 5 weeks ago told the wife I don't want to be with her as there were too many strains on the relationship, long working hours, never seeing each other the all so familiar jealousy.

She went living with her folks and I was alone in our 3 bed house.

Since the split I have gone OTT drinking with friends and being a waster.

I seen a light at the end of the tunnel when one day I had just had enough and realised I wanted my wife back (is this the right move).

I call her we meet all is fine and dandy. She is yet to move back in we are taking things slowly.

I have laid out some new things I want to change if we give it another go, binning off the well paid but crap job is one of them.

Has anyone had experience of breaking up and getting back together and it being a success??

I'm afraid if we give it another go everything will just turn to s**t again.

All USEFUL comments are much appreciated. Funny comments also taken in. People out to be of the venom tongued variety can pass on by ;-)

Cheers

jambco984

I have never heard of The University of Central Lancashire and I was brought up in Lancashire.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

It's in Lancaster isn't it??

When your coming in from Nakon Sawan there's a small bike and coffee shop on left side about1km from Toyota. They have Real helmets.

I take it your directions are as if you are driving north on the Nakhon Sawan road and just before you get to Pitsanulok?? Anymore landmarks you can help me with.Thanks jambco984

Yeah i am loving it so far. Not sure how many owners on this one i think its 2 who managed to put 8,600km on the clock. Ive put 500 on it in 2 days although im sure that will steady off when the novelty wears off.

I would love the online info as there aint much about or at least i cant find it

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I live in Sukhothai but are there any shops in Pitsanulok that sell decent gear??

Alternatively can I buy from an online shop and pay via bank transfer???

Please help.

I bought a jacket from Pitsanulok yesterday but want trousers

Oh and I want a decent helmet not the Thai crap.

Suggestions please

jambco

Better off asking the guys on the motorbike forum, quick navigation to ( Bikes in Thailand ), someone in Phitsanulok may come on where to go, or you can get stuff sent from Bangkok. K

Cheers D, i'm swapping the PCX for a Honda Phantom 200cc chopper. I want to get out more on this bike than the PCX even though I went to Chiang Mai on her I want something bigger.

Will post on the bike thread later.

PS got a new number will message you it later ;-)

anyone......

was going to head over today if anyone knows of anywhere. Thank you

Bought a waterproof jacket for my motorbike riding but dont know where to go for trousers.

Also are there shops with decent helmets, not the crappy Thai ones.

Thanks for any info in advance.

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Thanks for reading and thanks for all those “likes” you gave along the way. If you are 27 or 57 it really shouldn’t matter all that much. Of course it may not end up being your last place but having your own home at any age can make life a little more comfortable and enjoyable. Hope things workout for you.

Sometimes I just couldn't help myself with the likes, a lot of what you write is just great humbling honesty and its something that is lost on here sometimes.

I enjoy your posts from naam, crossy, mr bojangles and your good self, I really like Naam's home its a cracker but all I see is Lt. Commander Worf walking around with his big rigid head. If on the other hand you are Michael Dorn then please accept my apologies.

Thanks for the reply VF keep up the good work, here and elsewhere.

So this has taken me the best part of two working days to read, obviously inbetween getting some classes taught and pretending to look busy.

I have enjoyed reading nearly every single post here its a breath of fresh air to have something to read that doesn't involve being called out on something or someone making stupid replies to cause a fight.

VF I am in the dreaming stage at the moment, at only 27 and living here full time now for 18 months I am just about ready to commit and build something personal and special to me, I see me living in it as a young man and eventually pottering about in it as an old one, Mrs Jambco had some land given to her by the MIL and we are wanting to take the rollercoaster ride that is building our own nest.

I hear all you nay sayers saying what the chuff at 27? I am ex British military and find when I put my mind to something I get it done and thats where I'm at right now.

Off topic a bit here but I just love, naming no names as I see it has caused some trouble in the past, some chap who will remain nameless blog

Everyone take it easy out there and I hope this thread goes for many more years.

Keep sending your pictures. I hope mine will be up there soon.

Take care

Darren

olympics my a**e. As someone else says, its not going to matter one dot as produce would be shipped anyway. Is it the Thai way of saying look we had an input in another countries oympics.

I see the tv ads now, mama instant noodles sponsors the London 2012 Olympics. Aroy

Moment of truth time......

I went to my SCB Branch and asked the mortgage / money lender man about what the missus could do about the land and mortgage stuff, two options.

Option 1 - Depending on how much the land is worth depends on how much you get, no brainer of course, wont be a lot as land is dirt cheap in the sticks / most places.

Option 2 - As me and the missus are married we can combine bank accounts and combine salaries according to the banker who has done this before for Jonny Farrang. Just get a letter from my school and the missus employer with details of salaries and we can get a mortgage this way.

Builder gives quote and estimate for the build, bank approves it and off you go.

Initially I was confused about this but he said as long as I have a work permit and are 100% legal then I will have no problem bumping up the lending amount, as I'm a 'flight risk' the land would still be owned by the bank until all funds where paid back - he obviously told us how everything would be put in the missus name, land + farrang = NO etc...

So all in all a good half hours work to find some solid answers. Saying that next time we go in they will probably tell us something totally different.

Thoughts please.......

Did this with SCB about 8 years ago...a little more information will be needed by SCB and the mortage is not in your name, its in the Mrs name only...you will mearly co-sign the loan..so facts from when I went through this:

1. You do not need to be married (myself & Mrs soutpeel were not married at the time)

2. You will need copies of your WP & passport

3. You will need letter from the company

4. You will need 12 months pay slips from said company

5. Nothing is in your name

6. income can be based solely on your income if need be, doesnt need to be a combined income, in fact when we did this Mrs Soutpeel wasnt working and the loan amount was assessed/approved against my income only

From the moment the paper work goes in, it takes about 6 weeks for approval

Thank you for getting back to me.

Another eye opener as to what will be required, its always nicer hearing it from native tongue than speculation and other factors that go into a Thai guess on whether or not something csn be done.

1. You do not need to be married (myself & Mrs soutpeel were not married at the time)

Thats ok Im married anyway ;-)

2. You will need copies of your WP & passport

Check and Check.

3. You will need letter from the company

Arrangeable.

4. You will need 12 months pay slips from said company

Arrangeable.

5. Nothing is in your name

Yes I understand.

6. income can be based solely on your income if need be, doesnt need to be a combined income, in fact when we did this Mrs Soutpeel wasnt working and the loan amount was assessed/approved against my income only

Thank you this info is great.

Thanks for taking the time to reply much appreciated and all taken on board.

Thank you

Darren.

How if at all can I get a mortgage from a Thai bank.

Not all banks are set up to do it but some, like SCB do it.

I'd imagine its not going to be in my name, Could be

not being able to own land etc....can, but that is another long story that thousands will say can not but their are a few ways. A few treaties and BOI laws (2002)

I have lived here nearly a year Not really that long, works against you

and a half working in a very reputable school in Sukhothai on a good salary. With proper work permit, contract, and visa ? What is the good salary ? 100.000 + a month ?

Me and the wife both have accounts with SCB which we have had for 7ish months now.Again not that long. Mine was 8 years and they looked at it all.

I am legally married and the missus works in the Big C bringing home approx 9000-10000 baht per month.

How long has she worked there ? And really just making minimum wage.

She had a bit of bad credit when she was younger, don't know if that goes against her?

It all takes into account. How long ago at what age and is it all cleared. paid off now ?

We want to borrow money to build a house on the mother in laws land,

You never stated how much ? I would assume under 1 million for a standard home not buying land. Though the land is not your will not help.

I have money in the UK but would like to leave that alone for now.

We also have in Thai savings a wopping 100k baht.

So how does the wife get a mortgage, specific requirements, hoops to jump through? All knowledge welcomed.

I cant think of anything more at the moment but if you need more info please feel free to ask, as long as you are offering some real pearls of wisdom ;-)

Take care and looking forward to your replies

About 3 years back a new law allowing banks to loan to Expats was made. Usually 1/3 down and up to 5 years lown time but all banks will not due it. Seems like your issues are more compounded and complex. as some options, a loan could be taken against the inlaws home and land if they will do that for you. Also, the Euro may not be that safe. It lost 20% against the baht in the last year or so. Maybe transfer that money to Thailand, place it in the bank, and loan against it.

Another option I did in Hawaii was live at the inlaws, and start to build with just what you have each month. Depending on home size and your income, it may be done in a year or so.

Chok Dee

I have lived here nearly a year and a half, Not really that long, works against you - I have been paying tax also. Yes not long on a grand scheme of things.

working in a very reputable school in Sukhothai on a good salary.

With proper work permit, contract, and visa ? What is the good salary ? 100.000 + a month ?

Yes with a WP, Contract and Visa. Good salary is exactly what it says on the tin, a good salary being based up north and with a much lower cost of living so its not 6 figures but a fair 5 figures per month + 5% payrise annualy.

Me and the wife both have accounts with SCB which we have had for 7ish months now.Again not that long. Mine was 8 years and they looked at it all. Different reports coming in from many folk on PM say differently but case by case your right.

I am legally married and the missus works in the Big C bringing home approx 9000-10000 baht per month.

How long has she worked there ? 8 months not long yes I know.

And really just making minimum wage. Salary is minimum wage yes but commision doubles her wage (irrelevant though)

She had a bit of bad credit when she was younger, don't know if that goes against her?

It all takes into account. How long ago at what age and is it all cleared. paid off now ?

18 years old all sorted now.

We want to borrow money to build a house on the mother in laws land,

You never stated how much ? I would assume under 1 million for a standard home not buying land. Though the land is not your will not help.

Less than or no more than a million YES, I can do plenty with that sort of money here.

My money in the UK is fine, it wont be getting involved with the euro idiots and being swallowed up.

Thank you for your time to reply, much appreciated

Just purchased a S G Note, what cool stuff can I do with it.

Im a iPhone b**ch and have finally left the dark side.

Any tips much appreciated.

Thanks in advance

jambco984

On a serious note...

Many of us, have moved here to Thailand, partially, because here, we can enjoy a little more freedom, than back in our Countries of origin. Take Canada for example....

They brought in helmet laws, because some people got hurt (riders, not innocent bystanders), seat belt laws, for the same reason, all kinds of safety crap for lawn mowers, etc., because some people were too stupid to operate them properly, 0% alcohol rules, for people under 22, in a few Provinces, 0.5% alcohol rules in other Provinces.

It all turns out to be a big money grab and an artifical way to stimulate the economy, by forcing people to comply with all these new laws.

Often the following excuse is used "If you don't wear/use ...., the tax payer will be paying for your medical expenses". Sounds right, when you first hear it, but then, following through on that thought.... My taxes are paying for your daughter's/grand daughters abortion. My taxes pay for the tax breaks churches are getting on not having to pay property taxes, but they still get to mess with politics. My taxes match charitable donations dollar for dollar, even though I might not agree with some of the charities, the money goes to. The list goes on and on....

So why the hell should they be able to use cost as an excuse, to limit peoples personal freedoms?

More people get hurt, in the Prairies and Eastern Canada, walking as pedestrians, every winter, with head injuries, slipping on snow and ice, than bikers do, having accidents on their motorcycles, not wearing helmets....so with the original thought of those supporting things like helmet laws, we would see most people in Canada, walking around with helmets in the winter (not just hockey players ;-))

I don't know the full story about the Bike Wars in Eastern Canada, but I do remember one child getting killed, as a result of cross fire, which is sad. At the same time, there are children and adults getting killed, by all kinds of causes, every day. Situations, like the one in Quebec, are very rare. Most of the fighting among clubs is internal. Nobody wants to hurt anyone on the outside, especially 1% Clubs, who do their best, to have a good public image. (through Charity rides, being model citizens and parents in their own communities, etc.)

One innocent child getting killed, was enough for the Government to drastically change laws and go on a hunt for bikers. How would you like it, if you accidentally killed somebody and as a result, the Government would come after all of your family and friends, trying to put them in jail and the media, painting you all as monsters and undesirables?

I've seen corruption on many levels, including the Canadian RCMP. I have also seen RCMP officers, drive home drunk as a skunk, coming from the Royal Tower Lounge, in New Westminster, BC, with no worries about one of their fellow officers pulling them over, for drinking and driving. If a child was killed by one of them, one night, we may probably not even hear about it.

This attack on bikers is mean spirited and unbalanced. Especially in Thailand, where most clubs do a lot of good, doing charity, helping their communities, etc.

Granted, I don't live in Pattaya (and don't want to), so I don't know, what "Bikers" are like down there. Up here, in the North, everyone is friendly with each other and greet each other with a polite wai, when they meet. I've been to many bike functions up here, including many "Northern Bike Weeks" and have yet to see a fight.

That biker, you are so quick to judge, might be the one, who will be the only one to stop on the side of the road, when you have a breakdown with your car, in the middle of nowhere (where others are scared shitless and just keep going).

He may be the one, who donates your kidney, after you drank it away, or he could be the one, stopping your daughter from being gang raped by some local thugs.

All I ask is, that you refrain from making judgements, until you have had a personal experience. Don't be like the rest of the "sheep".

My friend on his Harley, in UK, was shot dead on a motorway, by a H.A. for doing nothing.

If I recall that was approx 3-4 years ago, your friend was coming back from a D.D funeral. If it's the same one. My friend was coming back from the funeral but was a few hours ahead of him and didnt know until he got home.

Its the only way Darren...you surely know that on any mortgage the title deeds are held as security, as you dont own the land you wont get a mortgage on it...Family transfers of land are different in that tax isnt levied the same as a normal sale and is minimal...Both my wife and I receive so many fliers from SCB and Kasikorn offering loans etc, we have been looking to purchase a plot and build more rooms so initialy inquired in the event we may need to borrow some money, SCB and Kasikorn both agreed in principal.....yes we have banked longer than 6 months but that was all they were interested in.....so go for it...have a chat at your local branch....its not as hard as some think.

This site might help you with information about how much you can borrow and the repayments

http://www.bangkokbank.com/Bangkok Bank/Personal Banking/Loans/Home Loans/Pages/Loan Calculator.aspx

My Tips

Go and ask a bank. People on thai visa may try to give you good advice but the bank will tell you the facts

Go to at least two banks they are not all the same. some bank employees lie. Don't forget they get commision for selling loans

Don't build on MIL land buy a peice of land away from wife family 5 miles will reduce the number of visits and raids on your fridge

Try to find a ready built house. It wll save you a lot of headaches

GOOD LUCK

Moment of truth time......

I went to my SCB Branch and asked the mortgage / money lender man about what the missus could do about the land and mortgage stuff, two options.

Option 1 - Depending on how much the land is worth depends on how much you get, no brainer of course, wont be a lot as land is dirt cheap in the sticks / most places.

Option 2 - As me and the missus are married we can combine bank accounts and combine salaries according to the banker who has done this before for Jonny Farrang. Just get a letter from my school and the missus employer with details of salaries and we can get a mortgage this way.

Builder gives quote and estimate for the build, bank approves it and off you go.

Initially I was confused about this but he said as long as I have a work permit and are 100% legal then I will have no problem bumping up the lending amount, as I'm a 'flight risk' the land would still be owned by the bank until all funds where paid back - he obviously told us how everything would be put in the missus name, land + farrang = NO etc...

So all in all a good half hours work to find some solid answers. Saying that next time we go in they will probably tell us something totally different.

Thoughts please.......

So does the land need to be in wifes name?

Land isn't essential apparently just salaries is ok. Can't hurt for it to be in Mrs jambco's name though.

Not really a early indicator of things to come, some people living here do like to stay private, it happens all the time reminds me of way neighbours carry on and what they do in England.

Just because we live in Thailand doesn't mean we have to carry on like Thais.

I usually ignore other farang as you say unless they come up to me and ask something, only because most of them are tourist.

I have acquaintances in the village but they don't drink and are of different ages have different interests and are foreigners

Sukhothai friends I have usually come up to the old city Muang Kao 12 km out for a beer with me, mainly I go to what I call ' Pub 7 ' because it's right adjacent to 7-11.

We sometimes meet in the First One restaurant in the park, and then go on to pub 7, if later than 7.00pm we go to Kacher Restaurant but they charge tourist rates.

If you want to pop up sometime PM me, I usually go for a beer at 5.30 or 6.00pm, your welcome. K

Yeah maybe not an early indicator.

Lots of window twitching neighbours and walking past each other in the street never speaking for years, yeah sounds like were in England after all.

Its unfair to rule out all tourists, I do entertain the pretty tourists they will always get my attention

I don't know First One restaurant. I think I know where you might have a beer at 'Pub 7' if im looking at the 7-Eleven theres the road that runs down the side, your on the other side of the road, not opposite near the market. I understand adjacent just directions can be a pain sometimes. So far your directions are great with the dentist.

The invite is more than welcome and I might be free later on if your about.

Take it easy

Darren.

There are places in Sukhothai, I will try directing on here.

Coming in from the east main Sukhothai bridge with Kasikorn bank on your right, over the brige to the main traffic lights, go straight across and take the first turning on the right there's a dentist about half a dozen shops in the road on the right.

My wife goes there for denture treatment, they may be able to help you.

Is that near the big pharmacy on the same side?

Thank you.

Just been past it, thank you for the info, will go and see what they say.

There are places in Sukhothai, I will try directing on here.

Coming in from the east main Sukhothai bridge with Kasikorn bank on your right, over the brige to the main traffic lights, go straight across and take the first turning on the right there's a dentist about half a dozen shops in the road on the right.

My wife goes there for denture treatment, they may be able to help you.

Is that near the big pharmacy on the same side?

Thank you.

anyone.......

Nothing in Khrimat, though there is now a small 7-11 at one of the fuel stations.

But I still like the place. People are friendly, though they do tend to stare at the "white man" a bit.

Same with BDLH, as soon as Im spotted its stare time or they know me smile and then stare lol

Its the only way Darren...you surely know that on any mortgage the title deeds are held as security, as you dont own the land you wont get a mortgage on it...Family transfers of land are different in that tax isnt levied the same as a normal sale and is minimal...Both my wife and I receive so many fliers from SCB and Kasikorn offering loans etc, we have been looking to purchase a plot and build more rooms so initialy inquired in the event we may need to borrow some money, SCB and Kasikorn both agreed in principal.....yes we have banked longer than 6 months but that was all they were interested in.....so go for it...have a chat at your local branch....its not as hard as some think.

This site might help you with information about how much you can borrow and the repayments

http://www.bangkokbank.com/Bangkok%20Bank/Personal%20Banking/Loans/Home%20Loans/Pages/Loan%20Calculator.aspx

My Tips

Go and ask a bank. People on thai visa may try to give you good advice but the bank will tell you the facts

Go to at least two banks they are not all the same. some bank employees lie. Don't forget they get commision for selling loans

Don't build on MIL land buy a peice of land away from wife family 5 miles will reduce the number of visits and raids on your fridge

Try to find a ready built house. It wll save you a lot of headaches

GOOD LUCK

Moment of truth time......

I went to my SCB Branch and asked the mortgage / money lender man about what the missus could do about the land and mortgage stuff, two options.

Option 1 - Depending on how much the land is worth depends on how much you get, no brainer of course, wont be a lot as land is dirt cheap in the sticks / most places.

Option 2 - As me and the missus are married we can combine bank accounts and combine salaries according to the banker who has done this before for Jonny Farrang. Just get a letter from my school and the missus employer with details of salaries and we can get a mortgage this way.

Builder gives quote and estimate for the build, bank approves it and off you go.

Initially I was confused about this but he said as long as I have a work permit and are 100% legal then I will have no problem bumping up the lending amount, as I'm a 'flight risk' the land would still be owned by the bank until all funds where paid back - he obviously told us how everything would be put in the missus name, land + farrang = NO etc...

So all in all a good half hours work to find some solid answers. Saying that next time we go in they will probably tell us something totally different.

Thoughts please.......