Swiss1960

Stopped by the police last week on the way to Bangkok 'speeding',(you pay me 100 baht or go to police station and pay 400 baht) no prizes for what I payed.I love Thailand.

Have you been speeding? Did the policeman have a proof of your speeding then?

- if yes... you got a good business deal

- if no... up to you whether you let the policemen extort you or tell him "let's go to station and you show proof of me speeding"...

When I talk with my Thai friends, they all tell me they don't do it... for one they can't afford it, for other, they accept that things will be done slower but eventually be done...

I guess it's mainly Farang who want everything done their way and of course asap (meaning tomorrow) and for such additional and un-thaily service... well, you'll have to pay for that...

So from my experience, if I don't require better service than my Thai friends would normally get, I don't need to pay...

What if you wanted to be awarded a 2b Baht contract to build a flood defence? Bribes there ensure contracts are awarded, not just happen quicker.

Since I don't have that kind of business, this question does not come up for me... but I would guess that in such a case, this is not anymore a question of "farang" or "not-farang", but a pure business bribery question for all companies involved...

When I talk with my Thai friends, they all tell me they don't do it... for one they can't afford it, for other, they accept that things will be done slower but eventually be done...

I guess it's mainly Farang who want everything done their way and of course asap (meaning tomorrow) and for such additional and un-thaily service... well, you'll have to pay for that...

So from my experience, if I don't require better service than my Thai friends would normally get, I don't need to pay...

would you say Thais treat farang differently? i agree that we want things done quickly but so do many thai chinese.

Is it not a question of "chicken and egg"... Thai expect us to have money... so they will try to get us much out of us as possible... now it's up to us to pay or not and tell them to do the job same same they would do for a Thai... or did Farang to start throwing money around to get things done faster and in "our" way? And Thais only learnt from us that Farang are willing to pay?

Hmmmmm.... which was first... chicken or egg?

When I talk with my Thai friends, they all tell me they don't do it... for one they can't afford it, for other, they accept that things will be done slower but eventually be done...

I guess it's mainly Farang who want everything done their way and of course asap (meaning tomorrow) and for such additional and un-thaily service... well, you'll have to pay for that...

So from my experience, if I don't require better service than my Thai friends would normally get, I don't need to pay...

you are 48... so not yet ready for retirement... so under what Visa do you plan to stay here...

Expect... many people wanting money...

Expect... to be extremely ill-prepared...

Expect... to go back soon being rich of many new experiences...

Expect... to get a lot of good advices of which most will not fit for you as you have not said a thing about you and your plans...

700 Baht only for premium arrival service... cheaper than flying business class to get the voucher for fast track ;-)

OP if you feel it is so unsafe here, that you need to carry a weapon, you are in the wrong country,

It's not that i feel unsafe here or something but i was just wondering what are the laws in thailand for possession of a firearm.

BTW I think it can be helpful in case some armed thief breaks into one's house by any chance. just sayin'

Plain stupid... if an armed thief breaks into your house, he will have his gun ready and will be willing to use it if he sees you reaching for a gun... if an armed thief breaks into your house, give him your valuables and hope for the best he leaves you unharmed... if he sees you reach for a gun, he'll definitely kill you... at least THEN you don't anymore need to worry about being robbed...

If you haven't got legal permission from the mother to take your son out of the country it is possible that he won't be allowed to leave with you. This is the first thing you have to sort out. Without it all the rest of your plans are just wishful thinking.

I have an expired UK passport a UK Birth certificate, a UK birth certificate and a Thai passport plus a Thai Birth Cert!

And you think that this solves your problems? Sorry Op, but if you would REALLY read what you have been told here (not only by me), then you would first of all make sure that you can take your son back to the UK with all the legal paperwork needed. Everything else is irresponsible, not only towards yourself but most of all towards your son.

I have the feeling that this is not anymore about your son only... this is about yourself, this is about you being desparate to admit to your son that you caused a huge mess... this is about yourself who is afraid of looking into the eyes of your son and tell me "daddy made some mistakes, so we can't go now as I promised you"...

i can not explain your irrational actions and ideas about fleeing the country in any other way... I can not otherweise explain why you care more about two bikes than about the legal documents needed to travel... this is just plain stupidity what you want to do now...

this is against the best interest of your son!

Then you have very little idea about the problems we face here! - The bikes are really his most precious thing,. he does not want to leave them behind for the scum to sell, he wants his bike as it was given to him as a birthday present a few years back, that is al!

You are wrong, i understand completely what problems you face, you have been very clear.

But you don't want to understand what problems you will be causing to you and your son by taking him out of country illegally! google Child Abduction, Child return and Hague Convention about Child Abduction and you will find lots of cases where children had to be returned based on that Convention that both UK and Thailand signed... and also Switzerland, that is why I know such a case from a good friend from student fraternity... he now has an entry in his criminal record because of child abduction and is not able to travel to Thailand to see his child for the next years to come...

That is why I say it again: It is irresponsible and against the best interest of your son, if you don't sort the legal issues first of all

If you haven't got legal permission from the mother to take your son out of the country it is possible that he won't be allowed to leave with you. This is the first thing you have to sort out. Without it all the rest of your plans are just wishful thinking.

I have an expired UK passport a UK Birth certificate, a UK birth certificate and a Thai passport plus a Thai Birth Cert!

And you think that this solves your problems? Sorry Op, but if you would REALLY read what you have been told here (not only by me), then you would first of all make sure that you can take your son back to the UK with all the legal paperwork needed. Everything else is irresponsible, not only towards yourself but most of all towards your son.

I have the feeling that this is not anymore about your son only... this is about yourself, this is about you being desparate to admit to your son that you caused a huge mess... this is about yourself who is afraid of looking into the eyes of your son and tell me "daddy made some mistakes, so we can't go now as I promised you"...

i can not explain your irrational actions and ideas about fleeing the country in any other way... I can not otherweise explain why you care more about two bikes than about the legal documents needed to travel... this is just plain stupidity what you want to do now...

this is against the best interest of your son!

I know you don't want advices, but here is the KEY question when you write " I need to take my son with me, he has an expired British passport, a UK birth certificate and a current Thai passport "

Do you HAVE the paperwork to prove that you are the sole guardian of your son (i.e. through divorce papers, proving that you are widower) or that the mother of your son approved your travelling alone with him? Otherwise you might get stuck with the airline / immigration while leaving the country and might even get charged with child abduction...

Just asking, as you sound pretty desperate and might not have thought about that one...

No, I don't have sole custody, but generally speaking she would be as glad to get rid of him as she would be to get rid of me.....providing they think they are still going to get some cash!!!!

You see, dear OP, while I understand that you want to do the right thing for your son, you are actually putting him in real danger when taking him out of Thailand without legal binding consent of his mother!

What if his mother changes her mind - maybe because she does not see enough money flowing... Since my previous post has been deleted (some included profanities, sorry mod...), I tell you again that there is an International Hague Convention about Child abduction, for which both Thailand and UK are signatories. That is, if your wife suddenly changes her mind, all she needs to do is go to the British Embassy, claim that you abducted her child and then the UK government - by the Convention - is forced to pursue actions against you on behalf of the mother (she does not need a cent for this). And you would not be able to provide the legal consent, which means that your son could be forced back to Thailand while you end up in jail...

So the right thing in my opinion is to calm down, tell your son you messed up a few things and tell him that you need some more time until you can leave with him. That will give you time to sort the legal stuff with your son's mother.

Reading between the lines there is more to this thread than you are saying.

You want to take your son, who holds a British Passport to the UK, is his mother content with this?

As far as I'm aware a passport is only proof of citizenship, even if expired, so in theory a person can travel to the UK with an expired passport, it's only the passport that expires, not the right to citizenship. I don't know how old your son is, but given that you have been in Thailand for ten years I assume he's a youngster, if he is travelling with one parent it might be an issue, if not with the UKBA then certainly with the airline.

As you suggest you could apply to the British Embassy for an Emergency Travel Document, though I don't know what the criteria is for an ETD.

These comments are based on recollection not first hand knowledge, I would call Consular Section and seek definitive advice.

1: Yes his mother is content with this (AT THE MOMENT.......it may change when she realises reality!)

2: The expired passport thing is a bit of a debate, better had online than at the airport - I know what you mean but there are different stories!- Can apply for a Visa, but I think if he has British Nationality give the boy a passport - pretty sad these days that it has to be applied for via <Snip!> Hong Kong with Bankers Drafts or credit cards! What is the point of having an embassy in Thailand if you have to renew your UK passport in HK with HK Dollars when you live 1500 miles away in Thailand - CRAZY!

Do you have the mother's consent in writing and legally approved and maybe even translated into English for the UK authorities?

I know you don't want advices, but here is the KEY question when you write " I need to take my son with me, he has an expired British passport, a UK birth certificate and a current Thai passport "

Do you HAVE the paperwork to prove that you are the sole guardian of your son (i.e. through divorce papers, proving that you are widower) or that the mother of your son approved your travelling alone with him? Otherwise you might get stuck with the airline / immigration while leaving the country and might even get charged with child abduction...

Just asking, as you sound pretty desperate and might not have thought about that one...

Still looking for a decent steak? I found it! Toscana restaurant on Beach Road. Australian beef, 20+ ounces, perfectly cooked and delicious.

I know both Toscana and Manhatten and have been in both back in May. Both expensive, specially if you - like me - love Italien wines...

- for steaks, Manhatten is my favorite

- for Italien, it's Toscana

But... if you ever want to try Wagyu Kobe... go to Bruno's and enjoy that delicious beef.... don't forget your credit cards ;-)

well where can you give back used items?

If you cannot use it, it is not used....unfortunately also nothing i could see to exchange it for also.

Funnily enough I bought an LED last week at a different retailer (J.I.B. ?) and he said use it 10 days and if not happy, will change it for another brand.

Yes, but this is the difference between change and return... so the store would have lost the sales in the first case based an a possible sale later in the year... so you might have been luckier telling them to give you some kind of voucher to be used against a later sale...

OK Holysteel, could you give us an example of when your GF/wife had one of these shutdown periods and what caused it?

As Chrisinth says, you need to be able to discuss it, and sometimes you can manipulate the discussion so that the other person feels as though the solution was their idea.

I know it requires more effort on your part.

.......but.....Happy wife....Happy Life.

Cheers.

Ahhh... Okay let see.. I am not good at recalling past event memories though. I dun tend to store such memories in my head. But well, anyway here it goes :

Case 1 :

I was away from home for a period of time. Was in other provinces. We talked on the phone 1 night at around 11pm. All was fine. And i assumed she was going to bed soon.

Out of the blue. I called her again on 12.30am because i would like to hear her voice. Simply becos i miss her.

After 2-3 unanswered calls. Picked up on the 4th.

Her: Hello.. -background music- boom boom boom ~~~

Me: What ? Where are you?

Her: Im with my female friends. They are celebrating birthday tonight.

Me: What? But why you no tell me? I thought u was sleeping already.

Her: I dun know. It was last minute.

Me: But you should at least let me know you are going out drinking. I have no problem with that, you know? *In my mind, i knew she was playing dumb to me. But i still managed not to show that im pissed off*

Her: I dun want to disturb you.

Me: You are not disturbing me at all. You could at least send me a sms. I am your bf/husband do you know? What are you hiding?

Her: Bah bah bah bah..bullshit & more bullshit. Im not with any guys why u worry. U think too much. You Farang Poo Mak !

What has this got to with me poo mak ? I did not for starters. Does she expecting me to take it as nothing happened at all, even she so called lied to me & hide from me ?

Wow. what a expert way of shifting the topic when she was the one who is in the wrong. In the end i ended up as the bad guy. I am the one who needs to do the apologizing & shitz....

Bravo..Bravo....Simplily Bravo... clap clap clap.

There is MORE. But i am lazy to type it out

Op, you obviously don't understand the way of living and thinking of the majority of Thai women... they don't plan ahead, the live day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute.

The second you asked her "why did you not tell me before", you lost your wife/gf. She does not understand your question because she did not know she is going out when you talked the first time. And the "you must tell me, I am your bf/husbane" sentence is when you make her angry, since you are not there so why should she tell you, she does not feel that it's necessary and by telling her, you tell her that you don't trust her or that she lied to you and that's when the "loosing face" discussion (or rather non-discussion and denial) starts...

And for the question of love... was your gf this way when you met her or did she change recently? That should answer your question by itself...

From personal experience, it is all about how you approach the problem. In the OP you state:

"This happened quite often in relationships, whereby the poor farang kept explaining & talking in mild tone what went wrong. And the bitchz will just shut down, totally refusing to listen or be a part of it".

Is it explaining or dictating? Is it (unintentionally perhaps) a one sided point of view that you are putting across? Have you asked what she thinks? In other words, have you discussed it or are you adamant that you are correct in what you think because you ar a 'falang'? If you haven't discussed it then rightly so, she will be p1ssed off and shutdown.

The above is not to discredit you, it is just something to think about. Interaction is the key word. If you find this doesn't exist, then she likely isn't the right girl for you anyway.

The above is not Thai specific either................

Completely agree with you. And on top of all, it's the Asian face-loosing fear, I guess the Op just does not understand Asian women...

Not true! There has been a study in Switzerland with 2'000 HIV patients (recently published and discussed in various newspapers) with regards to the new medicaments and it shows that for over 90% of the patients, the HIV viruses have almost completely disappeared from the blood and thus, those people are regarded to not be infectious for others. Only the most sensitive tests will show that these people still bear the HIV virus. However it is also noted that stopping to take the medicaments will bring the Virus back within weeks. Thus even a HIV test - if not very sensitive - can show false-negative results

You are confusing the results of an antibody based test with Viral load test.

HIV+ people who have been on antiretroviral medication for some years will indeed have low or even undetectable viral loads, but they are stiull antibody positive. Once formed, the antibodies are for life. The HIV tests used for screening and diagnosis are antibody tests. A false negative result is likely only when the test is done so early in infection that the antibodies haven't yet formed. Hence the recommendation that people with a negative result get a repeat test 3 months later.

Thank you, Sheryl, for correcting my mistakes. Learned something more :-)

Google for "serviced apartments", there are plenty in every city you might wish to stay.

Same as above post I never take chances

One scary thing about the facts above though what if the girl had HIV and was taking medication ,if she gets a farang boyfriend and for what ever reason dos'nt want him to know she will show up negative on a blood test could the farang then catch HIV from her

That's not true. The hiv test will still have a positive reading. On the other hand someone on medication with a high CD4 number and undetectable viral load (<40 copies /ml) is not infectious like a person with a high viral load and a low CD4 number. On top of that many positive people who never tested don't know their status and transmit unknowingly. It is all more complicated than it seems. If interested do your research, then post.

Not true! There has been a study in Switzerland with 2'000 HIV patients (recently published and discussed in various newspapers) with regards to the new medicaments and it shows that for over 90% of the patients, the HIV viruses have almost completely disappeared from the blood and thus, those people are regarded to not be infectious for others. Only the most sensitive tests will show that these people still bear the HIV virus. However it is also noted that stopping to take the medicaments will bring the Virus back within weeks. Thus even a HIV test - if not very sensitive - can show false-negative results

I can only say that the majority of the girls I know / knew over the last years have all been very aware of the HIV / STD problems... and I think the question of protection is very much a question of how desperate they are to find a boyfriend falang (i.e. finding money...). I have made the experience that most of the girls I knew wanted to use a condom and / or go to the hospital for a full sexual health check before committing to no protection.

Also want to mention that awareness about HIV / Aids did also go down in Europe, at least according to all the Aids foundations... since today, you can live almost without any problems even when having HIV in your body, since today's medicaments have almost no side-effects and since their are reports that say that today's medicaments can get HIV viruses almost completely out of your body (check comes up negative), people think that this sickness has been more or less eliminated / been brought under control...

Personally, I have not taken any risk in the past and I will not in the future, no matter how good todays drugs can fight HIV.

Most banks will be happy to open your bank account whether you have a Visa or not... I have my account since 2 years and never had a Visa in Thailand except the 30d given when crossing the border. You might need to check out few banks, but basically it's easy peasy..

its 9 months with 2+1 plus 2-5 years E.D visa till we manage to get a business.

its not 20 years.its 3-5 years.

why are you surprised?i did manage to be ready for early retirement by thinking for after 3-4 years.

and thats what i am doing now.

there is no reason to come in thailand if i dont know what to do just for holidays.i dont care about holidays.

also to learn some places in krabis style isnt 20 years later.

I think your term "early retirement" is maybe misleading? You certainly know that you can only get a retirement Visa once you reach 50y of age? That is why Mario2008 talked about 20y down the road...

And you certainly have informed yourself about what it means to work in Thailand, which jobs you are allowed (or rather NOT allowed) to do, what it means to get a work permit even if you have a Thai Limited Company set up for yourself (with Thai as majority shareholders)?

But if not... you better start getting all those information together, otherwise you might end up in 3-5y with all your education finished but being unable to stay in Thailand as you don't get a work permit...

Thank you all for the highly qualified answers and also for pointing out the possible risks about the dependants visa!

Having not found the answers so far through googling and before I approach the Thai embassy in Switzerland, maybe there are Thaivisa members which have been in similar situations:

Am about to retire to Thailand, age and funds not an issue, but these are the possible issues:

- having a wife who is neither Thai nor Swiss citizen (Swiss C permit) => what kind of Visa would she need / get ?

- she has a small kid to which I am not the father, but she is the sole guardian (father did give up all rights) and kid is 10 => would the kid get the Visa automatically through the mother?

Furthermore the question of future for wife and kid will also come up:

- what if I die and she is not yet 50? Would she have to leave Thailand then?

- what about the kid once it reaches adult age? Would the kid have to leave Thailand then?

Thanks in advance for all answers from people who have been in the similar situation / know about the Visa laws of Thailand.

P.S.: no, I don't need any other advice about whether I should or should not do, pure facts about the Visa situation will be enough.

How about the simple acknowledgment that it is one of the nastiest, filthiest, unhealthy, and ridiculous habits any man or woman can engage in? I see it as a total lack of physical discipline, and a nearly total lack of self respect. Am I wrong on this?

Agree with your first sentence, completely disagree with your second sentence. Cigarettes like alcohol, medicaments, drugs cause addiction to the ingredients (i.e. nicotin) and as we know with cigarettes, the tabacco industry boosts this addiction through the use of certain chemical additives that they put into the tobacco.

Having been a heave smoker for over 30y, I could NOT have stopped but with the help of medicaments (champix helped for me).