a2396

She probably doesn't have a new boyfriend now. She just needed to get over you and have you stop calling. Most Thai women think Farangs are all rich ... and by Thai standards most are.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH A WOMEN WANTING FINANCIAL SECURITY?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH A WOMEN BEING ATTRACTED TO A SUCCESSFUL MAN?

You losers who constantly see all Thai girls as money hungry whores need to grow up and get some self-esteem.

There is nothing wrong with a man wanting a GF or wife that doesn't need to be supported financially or who feels they should contribute very little financially to her or her family ... absolutely nothing wrong with this BUT you are truly a loser if you want to see the girl (in a poor country with little opportunity to make money legally for females) as some evil creature because she wants a man who will take care of her and her parents who raised her.

Relationships don't always work out and I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Sadly many Thai women are shy and have problems expressing their needs BUT she did tell you what she needed and either you didn't listen or care or you couldn't afford to take care of her and her family the way she hoped. If it is a matter of not having the funds then it still may have worked but lying is not uncommon (especially in Thai culture to avoid conflict) and she probably felt you had the money but just didn't think she or her family were worth spending it on.

Consider your GF was also probably VERY embarrassed having a farang BF and having to work for what was no more than 200 bhat a day.

This by ALL means doesn't sound like a situation where she was after your money. Thailand may have cheap rent for a crummy apartment but sending her 10k Bhatt or about $300 US ... how long were you gone? Was she supposed to live on 10k for a month or more? You left her when she had no job ... how scary that must have been for her.

Maybe I am wrong but folks who are unable to step into somebody else's shoes to think of their feelings are clearly self-centered folks.

My gut tells me you could easily get this women back if you can commit to take care of her financially. And offer the parents some funds to not just help them but help make her proud and show her parents she is well and has a good BF who will take care of her. By the way ... do you know the Thai culture and what is expected if you married her in terms of paying off the parents?

You should also ask yourself what did she do for you during this relationship? Who cleaned? Who brought you food and drink? Who took care of you? What did she do to take care of you? Or maybe don't think about this and be like others who post and believe a Thai GF should wait on them hand and foot but have no reward and be forced to sell food on the street to have a few bucks in their pocket and feel even the slightest bit of security financially if you were to leave her as you kind of did a few times.

Even if she was out selling sexual services those nights she was out ... why did she stay with you? Maybe she wanted the money to save face and not look like a complete idiot for being with a "rich" farang but being more poor (in terms of money in her pocket) then she was before she met you.

It is very easy for a Thai girl to be poor and she doesn't need a Farang BF to remain poor. How can she feel secure and loved by a man who is able to travel the globe but can only afford to give her $330 to live on and pay all the bills when he heads off on international flights???

Please don't take my post wrong as I really do feel for your situation and feelings and highly respect your coming to this board to get advice and answers but WE are all a bunch of dumb farangs here too for the most part and my frustration is directed at some of the responses --- not your original post. I am also concerned that you will become like many of these losers here who have predetermined notions of all Thai girls based on a bad relationship or two or three or even four. Since when does every relationship work in any country? Oh but then again maybe that is why they left their homeland and thought finding some poor girl in Thailand would be the answer because she would have to worship them and take a few left over crumbs and be happy even though she might be 20-years younger.

You are in your 20's and sounds like she may be young 20s. How many healthy 20 year old girls in any country don't want to go out and have fun? Have nice cloths? Have money to spend? You sound like you want to settle down and she might want to too but she also wants to have fun before she gets old and if she is going to settle down, she wants to do it with a man she knows will take care of her financially and that she will not one day be left with nothing if you leave. Consider if she takes care of her parents a bit now too that she will have them to turn to if you did leave her.

Bottom line is you are both young, from different cultures, have communication problems and often are forced to be seperated ... this is were the problems are coming from.

And I kind of am missing something about you going to Loas when you come back ... Even most poor Thai girls will prefer to be poor in Thailand and not Loas.

Who know exactly what all the factors are in this situation, particularly with her ideas as to what she expected for money. It would seem the OP was not giving her regular monthly support, which most women expect here. What is reasonable is the big question. Many big spender Farangs are giving 20 -30 50,000 bht per month to these women and often the man does not live in Thailand or see them on a regular basis. When women get the notion that this is commonplace or easily achieved (and maybe it is), it is not hard to see that they would think 10,000 bht per month is chicken feed. I have met several women who think exactly like this. Pay the asking price, or they are gone. That's love?

yeah, that's funny - what it has to do with Thailand?

and why would ne1 try to make Vodka if it is easily available?

just one hint though: the word Vodka itself is originating from word water in russian. perhaps coz it looks like a water. another version is - that it is often made just buy mixing pure spirit to certain proportion with water. but this might be a mere speculation, although I've heard such explanation few times b4.

Yes. Is making home made liquor "Moonshine", as we call it back home, legal in Thailand? My guess is no.

You are making the mistake of assuming all 'beautiful 25 year old Thai women' are the same. This could not be further from the truth. There are without doubt a certain breed of Thai woman who has the sole intention of taking farang for as much money as they can get. Such women are easy to spot as an expat. When you first meet them pretend like you are a tourist and don't speak any Thai to them - maybe even lie and say that you are here on holiday and it's your first time in Thailand - they will show great interest in you and tell you all of the standard BS lines about how handsome you are and how they dont have a boyfriend and their family is poor etc etc. Then once they find out you are an expat they will lose all interest.

What you are suggesting is that these women see men they know they don't want to be in a relationship with but use them for money until they can find something better. Well then why don't such blatant examples of that happen in the West? It happens in a more subtle way but you don't see many gorgeous University students going around with 50+ year old men using them for the money until somebody better comes along. Even in your overly simplistic explanation of the situation, you are suggesting that there is a predatory nature to the women who do this...

Those certain breed of Thai women you are talking about usually have been swindled by men many times when their intentions where good that they just hate men and want to swindle them back. I have met them too. Also as these girls get older they probably realize that if they don't clean up their act that they will not be desired by anyone because they are too old and they will just have to go work in the sun all day to support themselves.

In the west, girls have family that support them financially. They don't need to hang around with old men for money.

Girls in the west have much greater access to higher education and professional jobs than in Thailand. In many cases, they are not dependent on some man to take care of them.

I think if a 25 year old thought that a Thai lady was only going out with him for his money......he would be gutted.....possible permanent ego deflation!!

So he can never allow himself to consider the possibilty............

That's not true. Not every young tourist or expat is naive to these things. I know of many people in this age group who understand the dynamics a lot better than people twice there age who come to Thailand - and they embrace it. If you know they are just after your money you can protect yourself and not get attached, but still shag them silly and have their company. It's not as fun when you know most of what they say is bullshit and they probably have Thai boyfriends or kik's on the side - but at least it prevents you from getting hurt and/or losing a lot of money.

The Op quite clearly states that the 25 year olds do not require these warnings..........well.......which is it????

He didn't say they don't require the warnings he said they are less likely be taken advantage of. He didn't say why this was but the implication was because Thai women would actually want to be in a relationship with those men. The OP clearly doesn't know many 25-35 year old expats. I've seen many of them get taken advantage of by Thai women (see the thread just started by a mid-twenties guy in this forum).

What differentiates the guys who get scammed from the guys who don't is not age - it's how well they understand Thailand and the motives and methods of the type of Thai women who take advantage of foreigners. Those women don't care how old you are - they just want your money.

Well said. Precisely so. The age of the woman is no guarantee they don't want money. Some of the older ones are in more dire straights for money than the younger ones and their expectations may be higher. I am afraid the OP has made some erroneous assumptions.

But shes not drunk regularly, hel_l we went through weeks on end without drinking. You guys don't understand, she isnt a party girl, yes she liked to go dancing every once in a while, but so do we all.

Shes an amazing cook, she regularly made the best tom yam goom I had anywhere. She took care of everything, dishes, washing, heck even my own personal hygiene. She is everything I could hope for. The way she talked about having kids, and taking care of everyone. you dont know her. I will not have her being drawn into the dirt here, no matter what she has done to my heart. Judging from your replies, shes a better girl than most of you woudl ever desirve.

I don't wanna go to thailand to have some fun with a random hooker. thats not who I am, and thats not who i want to be. I just want to figure this out.

The only thing to figure out is that money was apparently number one with her, unless there was something else she did not like about you. It would be nice if she would explain her reasons to you, but such is generally not their style.

But shes not drunk regularly, hel_l we went through weeks on end without drinking. You guys don't understand, she isnt a party girl, yes she liked to go dancing every once in a while, but so do we all.

Shes an amazing cook, she regularly made the best tom yam goom I had anywhere. She took care of everything, dishes, washing, heck even my own personal hygiene. She is everything I could hope for. The way she talked about having kids, and taking care of everyone. you dont know her. I will not have her being drawn into the dirt here, no matter what she has done to my heart. Judging from your replies, shes a better girl than most of you woudl ever desirve.

I don't wanna go to thailand to have some fun with a random hooker. thats not who I am, and thats not who i want to be. I just want to figure this out.

The only thing to figure out is that money was apparently number one with her, unless there was something else she did not like about you. It would be nice if she would explain her reasons to you, but such is generally not their style.

No doubt this girl did really have feelings for you, staying with you for a year with no financial benefit other than food etc shows this. When you returned home, stated you was planning on coming back to Thailand for another year but then send just 10k in which most will be eaten up by paying accomadation etc she probably sat back and thought <deleted>, he can afford to stay here for another year but wants to send me the bare minimum because hes a tight ass.

I don't agree with this line of thought because she should get of her own ass and work for a living but this is a typical Thai mentality. You could have probably continued this relationship if you had been abit more generous while you was back home but do you really want to be financing a Thai gf? you are only in your mid twenties.

I'm in my twenties and have been in Thailand for 5 years, my advice would be let this other guy finance her and move on. You have both equally lost the same, a year in a relationship which hasn't worked out...

It is unfortunately quite a game here, with the money and the little darlings. The savvy women here, who are attractive and have good manipulative skills, know that there are guys from all over the world scrambling around Thailand or on the internet, willing to throw large amongst of money at them. If they cant get what they want from you, they can likely get it from another, at least for awhile. Love has usually got nothing to do with it.

It was not simply money extraction

20,000 baht cash ain't exactly the great train robbery

RAZZ

Maybe peanuts to you. Not to me. If I gave that amount of money to a lady, I would expect some reliability, sincerity and accountability. It looks pretty clear he did not have that. Sorry to say, my red flags go up anytime someone gets drunk, as a regular part of their behavior.

I never had any shared accounts with my two previous wives, who were gainfully employed in USA. We shared some household expenses, with myself paying the larger portion. Most of what they earned was their money. When we were divorced, there was no squabbling over money or property. I never met a Thai woman, who I have had any relationship with, who made more than "peanut" money. The bulk of their "income" came from me.

I really don't know. I only know two Frangs, where I live in LOS, and they are both quite OK. But, there are things that are irritants regarding living here and people will complain about them, just as they or I would, if it were something they did not like in their home country. Most of the foreigners I have encountered in Thailand are really not very friendly and are not particularly interested in conversing for whatever reason.

I am sorry if other posters have written about it already (too long a thread to read about such a trivial matter) but I would like to point out to the OP that Khon Khaen is in Thailand and, although a great place to live in, I am sure (I would not know actually), definitily not an international hub.

"Businesses having a fair amount of foreign clientèle": Robinson, Tesco, Big C, Carrefour. Are these, nicknames for Vuitton, Cartier, Armani, Rolex? (it is clientele and not clientèle which is in French.You have a French tabulator so you are French speaking?)

At least you understand that Malaisia and India cannot be compared to Thailand (which has never been colonized) where everyone speaks Thai. In those countries, many different languages/dialects are spoken:this is why a common language was needed.

Have you ever been to France, Spain?: try to speak English there; you might be in for a surprise and definitely in bigger cities than Khon Khaen's alike.

Maybe your "young well educated Thai friends" cannot find a job because they are looking for a higher pay than Baht 4,000 (or whatever the minimum is)

It seems that you have posted more because the persons you know are jobless; you should tell them to send their CV to as many "international orientated" businesses as possible

Chinese is spoken by the most number of people, Spanish is the economic language, French used to be spoken by the last centuries' "High So" etc....so even if it is frustrating not to be understood by the locals, be it.

By the way (I hope I am not breaking any Netiquette's rules) I think you meant lack of interest rather than disinterest (unbiased as having no part / no stake) but if you are French or so it is understandable - no offence meant.

Actually I can't believe that this post has attracted so much interest and reactions

Just to address a few of your comments – No, I am not French. I think another poster has commented that my use of the word disinterested was appropriate. Below are definitions of uninterested and disinterested from two online dictionaries. For the most part, they are synonymous, depending on the sentence you are using.

dis·in·ter·est (ds-ntr-st, -ntrst)

n.

1. Freedom from selfish bias or self-interest; impartiality.

2. Lack of interest; indifference.

un·in·ter·est (n-ntrst, -tr-st, -trst)

n.

Lack of interest or concern; indifference.

disinterest was found in the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary at the entries listed below.

disinterest noun NOT INTERESTED

As for critique regarding the word clientele. It was probably an oversight of mine in using the auto spelling choices. You will note that the two words are spelled identically. I am sure, with your obvious high level of knowledge regarding English usage, you know what I meant. In case you are still confused, below is the definition.

cli·en·tele (kln-tl, klän-)

n.

1. The clients of a professional person or practice considered as a group.

2. A body of customers or patrons: a restaurant's clientele.

As for the other points I was trying to make, again I realize that Khon Kaen is no tourist Mecca. However, it is not a remote corner of Outer Mongolia either. I recent news story posted on this website states that Thailand expects to have 16 million foreign visitors in 2010. I would suppose that most of them are using English as their functional language here. It is apparently also true that English is taught for the twelve years of public schooling (in Thailand) and therefore in might not be to far out of range to expect graduates to have some basic knowledge of such.

I do not expect that every store clerk would know English, but at least in areas where there are large numbers of foreign visitors or in stores where there are a fair number of foreign shoppers (Big C, Tesco, etc), that one might find one or two staff available for such customer service. Hopefully it would not break the stores budget to pay these one or two employees a few bht extra.

Adecco Group Thailand and Kelly Services Thailand produce some good salary and employment guides that cover most sectors of professional employment in Thailand. Unfortunately, I don't think the guides cover working as an airline stewardess, although I'm sure one of the members on Thai Visa can do some personal research there. ;-) It has been mentioned in other threads, but here's the link anyway:

http://bangkoklibrary.com/category/tags/employment

An interesting guide. But, I did not see it covered employment in medical fields, such as nursing or government sector employment. Also interesting to note is that the ability to speak Japanese was listed in a separate section, frequently with higher pay rates offered for such.

This stereotype is constantly reinforced by Farangs who spend like drunken sailors here. Millions of bht for sin sod, house, car, extended family support, etc, etc.

Getting back to the OP, I would no more expect to find a Thai speaker in my local Kmart in rural Alabama than I would expect to find an accomplished English speaker working at the Big C (or whatever) in Khon Kaen.

I have met pretty good Thai speakers of English in Khon Kaen, but they earn considerably more than an information flunky in a supermarket.

Sorry, but that is an asinine and ridiculous comparison. How many Thai visitors does one expect to find in rural Alabama, compared to the number of English speaking tourists who visit Thailand? On the other hand, it would not be hard to find a Spanish speaking staff or even Chinese in many areas of USA. Political and cultural issues aside, many businesses and agencies in USA are well aware of the need to improve foreign language skills and have been making efforts to do such.

Some of these educated Thais I have met, who can speak decent English, get zero consideration, when it comes to employment in some of these “flunkie” jobs, as you call them. Their English ability counts for zip in many cases.

What does "my doctor is better than your doctor" have to do with the OP's topic? I thought it was about the lack of English speaking staff in various large, Thai corporations?

Yes, boys will be boys. A particular member here must be bored this New Year's holiday & has taken to amusing himself by "pot-shoting" other members comments, leading to a sideshow of his own. In the same vein, a swipe at my English skill was made, which I thought a bit out of line. Maybe he's working at finishing the New Year's liquor supply.

I have encountered the same non-existent English skills at almost 100% in places like Big C, Tesco, and the major hotels, with the exception of the Pullman

I encountered excellent English skills in the Kosa Hotel, Charoen Thani Princess, Khon Kaen Hotel, Sawdee Hotel, Khon Inn Hotel.

By your style of writing, I assume that you are not an native English speaker?

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a native English speaker. Must be your luck is better than mine in these hotels, unless they have changed in the past couple of years. My experience: Chareon Thani - 1 staff (sometimes), Kosa - only the daytime manager, Sawadee - zero, Kaen Inn - zero. Busarakam - zero.

Comparing Singapore to Thailand is like comparing Canada to Botswana, ok. Don't even go there.

Thailand has never needed English except when it came to providing the R&R for American and Australian servicemen during the Vietnam war era. French was of more use during the colonial times since it was the French that called the shots, slicing off bits and pieces of the Kingdom when they so wished. Thailand's foreign affairs people at the time spoke French. And then came the period of subservience to Japan, where a knowledge of Japanese was important. Today as China looms, the need will be to speak Chinese, not English. There really is little need for English. If one wanrted to service the tourist trade, I'd think Swedish would me of more use, at least certainly more profitable since the Swedes are big tourism spenders, whereas Hindi, Arabic and Urdu speakers are not.

"Little Need for English"? No doubt many Thais think the same as you. Never mind the Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, Irish and Americans in Thailand. As you point out, a drop in the bucket, compared to the Swedes. From my experience here, English seems to be the language of choice with non-native English visitors and residents in Thailand, be they German, Italian, Arabic, etc. No doubt Chinese language will become a much more significant factor in international businesses in the future, but I don't think it will be replacing English anytime soon. If the average Thai has no interest in mastering English, I hardly think they are going to exert themselves learning Chinese. How many Chinese tourists and expats have you seen in Thailand, by the way?

The "English only" movement in the USA is not official, and is spearheaded by racists. Beside the point.

The "Thai only" movement in Thailand is very strong even though Thai alphabet and language is spoken only by Thais and is very difficult to speak and read. Very few Thais can teach Thai well - maybe 10% of Thai teachers. Most Thais don't usually want to learn English. Nice people - but I don't understand them.

It is not spear headed only by racists, some people tha support this English only movement are pragamatists. Pragmatically speaking, English only is the most affordable option. Bi-lingual programs are very expensive and places a huge drain on our taxes.

Not to stray to far from issues related to Thailand, by referring to bi-lingual in USA, one generally means Spanish. Currying favor with other migrant linguistic groups, in USA, was not done in the past. However, Spanish has become a factor just by sheer numbers and is an issue to be reckoned with, like it or not. I certainly do not think it would be advisable, at any time, to give Spanish any equal or equivalent status with English. If such had been done in USA in the past, one would have a polyglot, fractured country - politically, culturally, etc, etc. Unfortunately, the country has already traveled some distance down that road already.

On a wider front, English is the lingua franca of modern international business - not just the language needed to communicate with some grumpy old foreigner trying to buy whatever it is grumpy old foreigners buy, but also the language that international business contracts are written in and conducted with.

In that context Thailand does pretty poorly when it comes to speaking and working with this language of international business.

But let's focus on foreigners not learning Thai in the fine tradition of sticking one's head in the sand.

Thank you. This was, in part, the point I was trying to make. Khon Kaen is not a tourist mecca, however there are a fair number of foreign customers that I see in Tesco, Big C, etc and certainly the hotels here. Many are short term visitors and I hardly think they will be spending the time to become proficient in Thai, before they arrive here. True enough, Malaysia and India enjoy some advantage in English, due to their former colonial status. But this is not the only explanation, after independence Malaysia let the importance of English slide, since it was considered a colonial hang-over. When I lived there 15 years ago, English proficiency was certainly not universal. Since then, the government has recognized the significance of English as a language of international importance and I found the level of English knowledge to be considerably more widespread. It is considered a badge of status in Malaysia and certainly Singapore, to have good English skills. This is definitely NOT the case in Thailand.

I have also spoken to many university students who want to be air stewardesses. When I asked one why she replied "because I'm very beautiful". It's definitely a high-status job in Thailand but are these girls aware that it's a rather low-status job in many other countries?

As with most things foreign, Thais have little interest or knowledge about what conditions are outside Thailand. I suppose it doesn't matter for a Thai lady, since this job IS considered high status in Thailand and the money is good comparatively. In my country however, they are generally viewed as glorified waitresses and beauty is no longer a qualifier for employment.

I know three Thai ladies, with Univ degrees in English, who have told me that their preferred career choice is to be an airline stewardess. I was told that starting salary can be 30,000 bht per mo. I guess when compared to what they would make in a business in Thailand, that is quite good money. Any comments from our learned members?

I never cease to be amazed at the apparent disinterest in having English speaking employees, in businesses that have a fair amount of foreign clientèle. I recently visited the new Robinson's in Khon Kaen and discovered that neither of the two people at the information desk spoke any English. I have encountered the same non-existent English skills at almost 100% in places like Big C, Tesco, and the major hotels, with the exception of the Pullman. In addition, I hear from many of my young Thai acquaintances, who are well educated and can speak adequate English, that they cannot find employment. It would appear that most businesses care nothing about ones abilities in this, when it comes to hiring. I don't expect that Thailand will ever be like Malaysia or India, but one would think some of these large business enterprises, which have a fair amount of foreign customers, would try to make life a bit easier for their shoppers.

I would say most Farangs in LOS are not married to women, with the education credentials and high English skills, such as your wife. They are lucky to have more than the most simple conversations, even after years of marriage with their ladies. 95% of the women I encounter, where I live in LOS, speak almost ZERO English. I sometimes wonder where these students were during their supposed 12 years of English classes in the education system.

I agree basically with the OP. Thailand people and government are for the most part pro American. I like it. It beats being spit in the face, like in Malaysia.

I never got spit in the face there (Malaysia), but they were not very enamored with American foreign policy or America in general. As for my situation, this fact is another plus for Thailand as a place to live for me.

So, what country do you live in?