a2396

I think buy the time you trawl through all of the scammers on Internet dating sites, you will be too old to know what the Internet is, and start calling it the wireless...

I found my current girlfriend on the Internet.

It took awhile to figure out how, but I found out that the trick for me was:

To be myself.

I initially went on those sites and would approach girls by telling them how much money I made in the US. That attracted the wrong types of girls. And realistically, there is no way I will make that type of money in Thailand. Once I started being more honest and forthcoming, I started dating the right types.

...and you found girls who were also honest & forthcoming? From the Internet. How many did you have to go through before you found a "keeper". I have been on one site 6 months and have got about 200 phone numbers, 95% of them useless, for one reason or another.

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Some places in BKK don't allow white boys either. I was denied entrance at a girlie bar once & told it was for Japanese only. Also similar in Malaysia - told the girls were only available for Malays & Chinese. White boys & Indians - take a hike.

I live in Issan. There are some hi so Thainese people here too. Well, they think they are. Some have more than one Fortuner. Some have very pale skin, some even lose successful bars to gambling debts (just like on television!) but NONE have ever married a falang man!

One of the (if not the richest) families in KK had a western son in law.

Had or has? In any case, so what? How much sin sod did he pay? Do tell.

So thankful this very important piece of news has been posted. I wonder if some one else could give us a run-down of all the other exotic selections available at 7/11. I would hate to miss anything. Did anyone ever find the round peas?

If your wife can be influenced by her parents, then she is too immature. Forget about a village wedding and just take her to the UK. She is now your wife and should not allow the village or her parents to make her feel guilty.

My experience here is that many, if not most of these women are influenced by their parents, at any age. Age has nothing to so with it. If anything, the younger ones may be more likely to ignore parental dictates. The OP's story is certainly lamentable "broken record" here.

The real issue of importance about this is if there is any factual behavior by the other partner to justify such feelings. Only suspicion with no proof, is not really grounds for jealousy. However, provocative behavior on by a partner to incite such jealousy sometimes happens. Good relationships I have had, are where there is full honesty and disclosure, have not caused and problems. Evasive and secretive behavior and dishonesty, by a partner, just fuels jealousy.

my wife before i met her had 3 underwear shops in a centre in bkk ,one day when she was working in the shop her thai man came in drunk with another thai girl , without even thinking she pulled out a gun from the draw and shot him in the arm hence she spent 6months inside and a lot of money by the family was payed , when it comes to another woman she just goes crazy , but she has been good to me .

cheers

Good Luck !!! You will need it. I hope you don't have an "eye" for the ladies. To be honest, I would not touch a GF with such tendencies, let alone a wife.

Most people I know say the chances of marriage to a Thai man are slim to none. The lady is 26 and college educated, very attractive.

Not to the vast majority of "eligible" Thai men.

don't confuse pretty with attractive. Bar girls can be pretty, but not many men of "standing" would consider them attractive.

Yes, I suppose it would not be so easy for her to conceal her rather "checkered" past from another Thai. She never was a bar girl to my knowledge, but was a Mia Noi to a Thai man for several years.

I'm not sure about all the posts stating you (your wife) has an "excellent" chance of approval. The Consular might look at this situation as you taking the "easy" way out to get her to the U.S.

Consular might ask, why don't you go thru the legal steps to get your wife to the US permanentlly and apply for a green card. This procedure takes a bit longer and of course more paperwork. Sure, you have married for 3yrs and living in Thailand, but that's not saying you both will go to the US and "return" to Thailand to live.

I would say only a 50/50 chance, depending on the mood of the Consular.

I do agree however, that you do not need to use a lawyer or visa services. They cannot pull any ropes when it comes to getting approval or not. They just make sure all the paperwork is correct and in order. And they can get it done quickly (the paperwork).

Good Luck.

The marriage visa wait is more than "a bit longer". Average wait is 18 months +. A marriage visa is generally intended to be a "residence" visa and is not practical for trips in & out of the country, until she were to get permanent resident status. If you so not plan to reside in USA in the near future, such a visa (marriage) will not serve your needs.

Maybe the fact that she is married to a U.S. citizen might make some difference. How old is she? Little money in the bank? Not good. I know if she were young and single - next to impossible.

I suggest that the OP looks around him. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you get enough nourishing food? Do you know where the next meal is coming from? Do you have access to good medical services? Have you undertaken full time relevant education? If you can say yes to all of these just be thankful for what you have. You are far better off than over half of the world population. What is your chance of stepping on a land mine? Or being caught up in a civil war, terrorist activity or governed by religious fanatics? Will these thoughts brighten your day and stop you feeling sorry for yourself in a situation that you have contributed to bringing about?

I suggest that you give deep thought to what YOU did that makes her behave in the way that she has. What she is displaying is the result of disharmony, not the cause. Put yourself in her shoes. Wafted away from her friends and relatives to a foreign land with strange customs and probably the object of much curiosity and maybe conjecture. How much support was provided for her by your family and friends? Were you not dazzled by her superficial beauty and she by the promise of a sunshine life in a privileged, dare I say spoiled, society so that neither of you could see straight?

All this may be true, but what I don't understand is that he gave her a roof over head, the money for nourishing food, good medical services and the opportunity for full time education. And she ran out on it, to sit in a Laos bar talking to strangers. I can't see anything in any of the posts that points to her being maltreated. Perhaps she was, as you appear to suggest, simply tired of living in a strange land and being treated like a curiosity.

But you don't walk out on a marriage, particularly when your partner has treated you well and respected you, without a word and with a cover of lies. You don't put your wedding ring into hock and pull up a Laos bar stool and say "that's all behind me now." I live with, and have previously dated, women from SE Asia. One Thai g/f started work on the family farm aged 11 and used her pocket money to study at weekends to gain her high school diploma. None were rich, all had a tough time creating a better life for themselves. None of them walked out and turned off the phone. The decency to end a relationship with an honest discussion is universal.

At a minimum, she owes him an explanation and honesty. He, on the other hand, owes it to himself to look after himself. She's made her intent clear - she wants a life amongst her own family, people and culture. Fine. Cancel any joint credit cards. Put what money he has in his sole name. Sell anything she left. It's over and the OP has to swallow that bitter pill. There seems to be an implied suggestion that while he is hoping for reconciliation that she was still have access to his credit facilities. That's just asking to be slowly bled to death financially.

She's made what seems to me to be an irrevocable decision and he should, painful though it may be, tie up the loose ends, legally and financially. Whatever her back story is, that's not an excuse for abusing the feelings he still has for her to subsidize her new chosen lifestyle.

Maybe YOU never experienced women with behavior like the OP describes. I certainly have. In my experience, in 5 years here, such antics are the norm. Lying & cheating - the order of the day. I have a rule not to believe ANYTHING they say, unless I have some means of verification as to the truth. As for marriage? Forget it. And.. I do not mean bar girls. I never dated one.

It took me ten years in Thailand to find a good wife. My experiences tell me that the two fatal flaws in a partner are gambling and jealously. Those flaws are worse than drugs and they don't/can't change. You may think that jealousy is cute but it smothers you after a while.

Fortunately, I never had either of these problems. The major flaws I have seen were money grubbing (gold digging) and dishonesty (lying and cheating with other gents).

I would like to ask, from all the learned members here, who are familiar with the whys & wherefores of Thai culture: What are the chances of marriage, for a Thai lady who has already had a child? I am talking about marriage to a Thia man NOT Farang. The child was had without benefit wedlock, if that makes any difference. Most people I know say the chances of marriage to a Thai man are slim to none. The lady is 26 and college educated, very attractive.

Good job mate,

One question is King Power only at the airport or is there office at Soi Lang naam also a retail outlet ?

Its a huge retail outlet. Buses roll in one after the other. Rumor has it they have a great buffet there.

BTW - good one Tony

Duty Free????

Yes....

How can U buy duty free, unless you are on your way out of the country????

Where are they? -

a quote from the movie Outlaw Jose Wales:

Fletcher: dam_n you, Senator. You promised me those men would be decently treated.

Senator Lane: They were decently treated. They were decently fed and then they were decently shot.

Seriously, I hope they find them OK. One would certainly question such a procedure, sending them back to Laos, if the Netherlands agreed to take them as refugees already.

The clove cigarettes you are looking for I found no place in Thailand except right next to Pan Tip plaza in Bangkok. It is about a 20 minute bus ride from Nana (soi 4/sukhumvit) on the number 2 bus (or 25 also I think). Pan Tip is a big well known electronics department store. Once you get off at Pan Tip (bus 2 is free to all travelers) you are facing pan tip on the same side of the street. Walk down the street to your left to the end of all the stores and right there next to a construction site is a little lady sitting at a small table who has Surya (same company but not called Garam and I think they taste better). She charges about $2.25/pack. If you buy a carton she sends someone that goes somewhere and comes back in about 10 minutes. They were worth it and I loaded up in Jan 10, 2010 before going to Cambodia which doesn't have them anymore.

I don't understand why the gov't here has so many import restrictions. There are numerous products unavailable here, because of this(imported beers & liquor and example) . The situation was similar in Malaysia. One would think they (the gov't) would be interested in any additional tax revenue they could get.

i had a similar experience a few months ago..

But mine was from the first sim card i bought it was only extending to the end of the month or so it seemed as the first two times i had to top up was a a few weeks apart but then i topped up and the credit disappeared when i was checking why it appeared it was the roll over from the last month to the new month..

I went to a phone shop explained the situation and had to buy a 500 baht sim card that gives 1 year from any top up..

You may have to buy a new sim card.

I think that after the one year is up, you are back to the 10 day period for a 100 bht recharge. I think for most of them, this is the situation. You do get some extended time, as you mention, when buying new SIM cards, but not all of them have this, especially if they are of the cheaper variety.

There also are many exceptionally attractive women riding the Skytrain, as suggested. However, it seems to me the atmosphere there is not particularly conducive to striking up a first time conversation, with 50 other passengers within easy earshot, and the Thai woman more than likely not wanting everyone else on board to see her flirting with a farang!!!!

It's not that she wants to be seen flirting with a farang, it's that she doesn't want to be seen with him, period! On the other hand, if she's not exceptionally attractive and she got on at Nana Station, I'm sure she'll be pleasantly flattered with any advances.

The same for department store girls. I am sure the boss does not fancy them chit-chatting with the customers. On a few occasions when I have tried this, I usually gel stared daggers from other sales girls or perhaps the section boss. 90% have got BF's anyway, if they are anything to look at.

It is the family's choice whether or not to ask for 'sin-sod'. Being divorced is of no relevance.

100k Baht is not an unusual government debt after finishing Uni', if it was a private one, this money would have covered the cost of living and course fees.

OP, if you really feel that you love the girl then pay what is asked and be prepared to help the family when needed...

Good luck

Baloney.

I couldnt read past the first page, too much retardedness up in here. Just making me angry that people like the op actually exist.

Who truly believes you can love someone or even know them after only 10 months? Sounds like the op is a teenager..... You are getting scammed, what you love is a lie and an idea of what you think this girl is like, bah, waste of breath, this guy is destined to be abused and used, there's no saving guys like this. The entire relationship is a scam, and if he was honest and willing to buy his wife this would be ok, but like all fools he is in denial and trying to convince himself there are real positive feelings involved. Didn't have an argument for the 10 months he knew her and that means she a wonderful person? What a fool.

There seem to be a lot of guys who fall madly in love & propose marriage long before 10 months have passed. It is common to have amorous gents showing up here fresh off the plane & headed for the alter, before knowing the lady in any meaningful way & add to that those who have been fed the "no sex before marriage" story. I know two very attractive ladies, who have profiles on the internet and have had offers of marriage and promises of houses and cars, before a personal meeting even took place. With such lack of sense on the men's part, who can blame the ladies for taking full advantage. In a few years, the guys are hollering they got fleeced out of their life savings.

What does it matter what someone thinks about this? What counts is the law. So maybe I think 14 yr olds should be able to smoke. So, what?

It's a bit late for this in the OP's case, but my advice is to ask about this sin sod issue early in the relationship, before you fall in love and are "locked in" to something. I mean in the first few weeks or even days. I have encountered many women who are not shy to state their "expectations" quite readily. The majority of those women that I have talked to, expect the Farang to "pay up". The amounts I have heard are from a low of 100,000 to a high of 7 million. In my case, I am not interested in marriage, for one reason because I am not planning to take the lady back to my country to live. If one is wanting a visa for his lady to return back home to live, he often has no other option than marriage. Of course, if you tell them no early in the game, you are probably going to limit your pool of interested ladies.

People that pay sin sod should have their head examined. And people wonder why so many thais looks at us as stupid farangs lol.

My feelings exactly. Add to that the lame brains that give 20,000 bht ++ per month to their little darlings. In many cases, the men don't even live in Thailand, but only come here on holiday a few times per year. I suppose they think paying a subscription fee will keep the girl "on ice" and chaste while they are gone. These more than willing farangs have created an atmosphere of expectation among many women, that this is the standard to which they are entitled, if they are involved in a relationship with a Farang. Just be fair though, I have heard of Thai men being hoodwinked and scammed in similar manner by the lovelies, but not nearly as often.

errrhh , ever heard of a rental contract ??

hehe yeh but getting them to stick to it is another thing..

especially out in the sticks where they are VERY good at not speaking Angrit

Why do you live in the "sticks" as you call it? I suppose this is some village and an informal deal between you and some local hick. In that case, I would suppose anything goes. I live in a fair sized city and have a rental contract with a large property developer. I have been with them for 3 years and my experience has been excellent. Similar with an apartment that I rented before. I have not paid any increases.

We have no children, thankfully. She is also 10 years older than me if that makes any difference.

It's pretty stressful.

You married a woman 10 years OLDER than you? That's got to be a rare case here. Sorry to say, but from all I have seen here, I would not touch marriage with ANY of these women. Unless you want to take them back home and you have no other options, I can see why some guys do. To live in Thailand with one? Not necessary.