a2396

A bit of a sorry state, with so many guys involved in relationships with women they can hardly communicate with. Unfortunately, not a lot of options here. The majority of univ grads in LOS have little or no English skills. Even some of them I have known, who are graduate English majors, still are thinking and speaking "Thai style". Fortunately, I have a couple ladies who speak excellent English, have quick minds and pay attention to what is being said and are able reply with answers related to the topic being discussed.

You 'have' a couple of ladies?

Many guys I have known find it fun for a couple of years then after 5 or so realize they made a mistake.

I did not mean that the "couple of ladies" were simultaneous GF's. They are friends who are excellent to communicate with, as good or better than back home. One was a GF, but is now in Europe working as an Au Pair for one year. We talk by phone twice per week. She was a GF for a few months before she left & probably will be when she returns to Thailand. My current GF, if you want to call her that, (she says she is a GIK) has so, so English, but is a very stable & even tempered predictable lady. I think the biggest mistake is marrying someone who has little or no interest in communication with their husband. A dime a dozen here, from what I have seen.

We went to a local wedding about 18 months ago. They were about 40. The story my wife told me was that the ladies parents wanted more than he could afford over 20 years ago. So they stopped them marrying, all other suitable matches her parents found were rejected by their daughter. Then about 3 years ago her dad died, she was still dating the original guy. He didn't want anyone else either. Eventually the mother relented, and just asked him to pay for the proceedings. I think she realised the daughter had waited all this time and was ready to wait her mother out too.

This stuff is the height of stupidity. Led around by the nose by her parents demands for 20 years. Unbelievable!!! I hope the couple did enjoy each others company during the long wait.

The OP say unbeknown to him he was signing the documents in Thai?? He must have seen the documents were written in Thai. Why sign something he did not understand? ...and he owns his own company? I hope he is more careful with his company documents.

A bit of a sorry state, with so many guys involved in relationships with women they can hardly communicate with. Unfortunately, not a lot of options here. The majority of univ grads in LOS have little or no English skills. Even some of them I have known, who are graduate English majors, still are thinking and speaking "Thai style". Fortunately, I have a couple ladies who speak excellent English, have quick minds and pay attention to what is being said and are able reply with answers related to the topic being discussed.

A reasonable amount is zero, in my opinion. The whole business is an obsolete and disgusting practice. It reduces the relationship to issues of money, even before you are married. People here need to wake up to the fact that it is the 21st century now. If I were you, I would ask yourself why you are even considering marriage, unless you are intending to take you lady back to your country to live with you. I would also ask them what other contributions will be expected from you later - house, car, monthly support for family? I will say that 1 million seems to be the standard asking price, when a Farang is on the hook. I have heard some ask as high as 7 million. I can't believe they are serious, but I didn't see them laughing.

I'd be back in the "land of the free and the home of the brave", drinking Senior Coffee at MacDonald's & listening to brain dead geezers talk about their grandchildren or their golf scores. I could have a racy social life, if I got lucky, cleaning out Grandma's garage or maybe taking her to her doctor's appointment or picking up her prescriptions. Maybe get arrested leering at "sweeties" at the shopping mall.

This is 21th century and I am still not sure why anyone gets married. Just love and live and don’t worry about what the people, family, society wants or think

My feelings exactly. The whole business is overblown, particularly here and with foreign gents, many who have been through the mill a few times already. You would think they would be more cautious.

I live in Pattaya on 12 000 baht a month. 6300 for Niran condo (including water, electo etc), 350 for GPRS internet, the rest for food, mobile phone and 2 times massage. No beer, no whisky , no bar girls. I lost 10 kilos and feel myself excellent. now I am going to relocate to Auytthaya for massage school. I hope i will spend there the same because I have found 2 floors downtown with smallest garden for 5000 bath a month.

Great post. What do you do?

If no beer/women/ why Pattaya? How do you socialise?

12,000 baht a month? I spend that on food alone in a month.

12,000 bht for food a month? No street food for you, obviously. A steak & lobster man, no doubt.

Don't count your chickens yet. It ain't over till' it's over. But, good he has stuck to his guns so far. The family might ask for a Buddhist wedding also. Fair game.

"They" includes how many people? I don't know of any unemployment benefits that would last 1.5 years, unless there was some gap in their status in which they worked for awhile & went back to collecting later. Certainly, not 40,000 bht for one person per month.

As for USA young (20 something), single females applying for tourist visas, with no family connections or sponsors? Good luck. How the recent Nigerian "underpants bomber" got a visa is unbelievable. I have never heard an explanation.

I sent my CD's from back home. Or you can convert your CD's to mp3's before you come here. You also can download much music from YOUTube.

If you want to watch videos I can see the sense in YOUTube however if you just want to listen to music then the obvious answer has to be using a torrent site. I've got over 20GB of music and all of it is acquired using BitTorrent.

Please. No lectures about pirating.

Good luck.

I convert most of the videos to mp3's. Easy, if you have the software.

Get a marriage visa.

I sent my CD's from back home. Or you can convert your CD's to mp3's before you come here. You also can download much music from YOUTube.

Unless you are ready & willing for marriage, stay away from her family. I am surprised the OP hasn't know by now, that the Farang pays for EVERYTHING, in such scenarios and usually in outings with her other friends as well (non-family).

sounds like your girl friend is spineless and comes from a terrible family. it also sounds like you are hard up for money since you are whinging about a 1000 baht note. why would anyone want to marry into a family of rice farmers? they want your money because they sent their daughter to the big city to come back with a prized buffalo - YOU.

is it just me or are 25% of the topics in this forum about farang's isaan girlfriends?

Probably more than 25%. But so what, they are generally the ones who make themselves available to Farangs.

This is the most arrogant and idiotic first post I have ever read, no it's the most arrogant and idiotic post I have ever read, I am assuming the poster must be a troll or simply an idiot.

. There are people who are in genuine relationships for a number of years but who are only able to visit their loved one a couple of times a year, that's because they probably work for a living - how much leave do you get?

I have my own business and can afford to live here. Love on its own is not enough. If people cant afford to live here and come here alot they should not have a thai wife or gf if they cant afford it. Money is what makes the worl go around.

It seems like this as upset a few people ( but not all ) The people who are so up set about it. Will i think people who have met and married there partners after a couple of months knowing eachother or maybe there partners cant speak much english. So for the angry ones , i am sorry if i have hit a raw nerve ! No offence meant just telling it the way it is.

For the guy who said only 1 or 2 find bar girls every year to take home. This coment really does show just how far from reailty some farangs live in thailand. They get in a little world and covince them selfs there gf/wife has never done anything bad, and most thai farang / relelationships are not based on wealth and money..... so people like this need to wake up

What country are your from? What is your native language?? I really don't understand your comments. If you think that most Thai/Farang marriages are not based on money, take a look around. I have known Thai women who have been married to Farangs, for years in Thailand, who speak minimal English. They aren't interested as long as they get their money.

why won't you tell us what the money is for?

Maybe he needs the money for sin sod or a house for his darling?

This is the most arrogant and idiotic first post I have ever read, no it's the most arrogant and idiotic post I have ever read, I am assuming the poster must be a troll or simply an idiot.

He clearly doesn't know what he is talking about, he talks about people apply for visas for their partners, when indeed you don't apply for a visa for your partner, they apply for a visa themselves to fit the needs of the visit.

Yes there are probably one ore two people a year who fall for a bar girl and want to take them on the first available flight home, they are few and far between and are pretty soon weeded out by the authorities. There are people who are in genuine relationships for a number of years but who are only able to visit their loved one a couple of times a year, that's because they probably work for a living - how much leave do you get?

The suggestion that tourists from Thailand, who are not all girls, should take an English test before they are allowed to visit the UK is absolutly ridiculous, I suppose that if your scheme was introduced worldwide, I would have had to learn Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Malaysian and French last year alone.

I can only assume that you are a troll or a racist who would be better staying in "Mud Island" ** and writing nonsensical letters to The Daily Mail who's readers might have some sympathy with you ridiculous views.

Well that's off my chest now.

** My reference to "Mud Island" a few years ago I was dealing with ex-pats who might be leaving an African country because they were being driven out by the mad leader, we all expected them to want to return to the UK, but most of them relocated to neighourbouring African countries, asking why would we want to go to "Mud Island"?

one ore two people a year who fall for a bar girl and want to take them on the first available flight home??? I'd say certainly more than that, particularly since the bars & parlors seem to be where many of the gents make their "selections". I don't know about UK, but USA fiancee or marriage visas require considerable proof of a legitimate relationship. In addition they are required to demonstrate some reasonable ability to communicate with each other. Quite a few Thai wives of Farangs, who live in Thailand could pass such a communication test.

I am not sure I would choose my place of residence based on the amount of mosquito population. The ladies in Thailand are much more attractive than those Alaskan beauties, But, Up to you. Mosquitoes in Alaska carry no disease, to my knowledge, but there are plenty of them, particularly in the bush. You could move to Antarctica - problem solved.

Screen in your porch is you can. I'll give you a few of the excess birds I have around my house. Our housing dev is full of small birds, which are constantly "swooping" around the houses. We have very few mosquitoes.

For banks in Thailand, the house on the land means nothing.

Only the land means something.

And the land is hers, not yours, foreigners can not own land in Thailand.

So she can indeed borrow with the land title.

If you're not officially married, that is.

If you are, the husband needs to approve.

Farang or Thai.

The wife needs her Farang husbands approval to borrow against property that she owns 100% outright?? I doubt it.

In most cases the demand for sin sod reduces the marriage down to issues of money and in many cases it is a “ take it or leave it” situation with the family refusing to back down from their original amount. The application of sin sod has quite different aspects when involving a Farang marriage vs. Thai to Thai. Normally, Thais would not pay for a woman who has been married before or has children. As has been stated on this board, it is not unusual for a family of such a woman to ask this of a Farang. In addition, Thais would not pay exorbitant amounts of 1 million + for a woman with little or no education or no job skills.

Not surprisingly one million seems to be a standard asking price when a Farang is involved. …and that is usually in addition to paying for the wedding and obligatory gold offerings. Later will come requests for family support, houses, cars, etc, etc.

One million bht is equivalent to approx $ 30,000 U.S. dollars. I doubt if an average middle class American would spend this on a wedding, let alone hand it over as a gift to the bride’s parents. If a Thai family is earning 20,000 bht per month, which I doubt is the case with rural families, one million bht is equivalent to over 4 years wages. To turn it around another way, if an American made $50,000 per year and he spent 4 years wages on sin sod, that would be $ 200,000 or over 6 million bht. A very unlikely scenario, except for the very rich.

If a man has got $30,000 U.S. ++ to blow on sin sod and plans on taking his lovely bride back home, where (if she can or will work at all) she will be making minimum wage, the guy is pretty set financially. So, in the end, it’s up to the man and his financial capability. Gents who have this kind of financial capability are not any average “Joes” that I know back home. Few have $30,000 ready cash, that they would squander for such a purpose, let alone $200,000.

What's the point of conducting a poll about this? It sounds like many guys are willing paying this and more, because they are "hooked" on the lady. In my opinion the whole business is ridiculous, outmoded nonsense. Much of the justification heard about this is for the purpose of face or "keeping up with the Joneses" another facet of the culture here that could stand to be minimized. It's not going to end until people start refusing to pay. Not likely anytime soon.

OP mentioned he tried IRC with little success. I suggest trying other chatrooms that are available on the net. Yahoo might be a good start. Lots of Thai chatters there. Good luck.

You can chat until you are blue in the face. Oftentimes it is useless. Many Thai women like to chat to practice their (written) English. 90% of them can chat & write, due to translations software, but they cant speak a sentence.