Scarpolo

been hoping to find an opium den, do they still exist?

Apparently not for tourists, but up north can still find the substance and create your own.

Much riskier than sticking to the well-worn tourist tracks though, wouldn't advise it unless you're devoting serious time backpacking roughing it getting to know the locals on a personal basis before ever bringing the topic up, just happen to "stumble upon" it.

If you're perceived as actively looking for it you'll attract most unwelcome attention, not least from the many agencies of your own home government active here. . .

I have had some interesting encounters in Chiang Mai, where the drugs are flowing,

but, I am not interested in any of those "old" habits,

I good opium den though?, now that is what I think of when I think of "the orient"

reminiscent perhaps of the scene in Once Upon a Time in America, where Robert Deniro takes some time off after all his friends are murdered.

Thailand is actively after drug dealers, and they have roadblocks everywhere as soon as you leave bkk.

I notice that w my thai g/f driving her car, we are NEVER stopped, but I have had others tell me they are stopped every time, and one forced to renew his insurance, on the spot, at some egregious rate after he got caught with expeired insurance,

being retired US military did not help him, at all,

having a thai girl drive, takes all the pressure off

but seriously, a wife, or a mother from a girl who has spent 7 years as a whore?

yeah, sure......for a thai guy maybe, but for an American?

no.

I've met many more Americans that marry and have kids with them than I have Thais.

And for some it even works out OK. Bottom line is, up to you, may skew the odds against success but it's your life give it a shot, just once you've made that bed be ready to sleep in it. . .

Your point is well reasoned, and I am in agreement, it CAN work,

but, after being in the sex business, there is no way that she doesnt view her body as more than a machine, designed to get her what she needs in the material world, which I am fine with,

I just hope she is smart enough, that when I am no longer in the picture and she has built up a huge bank balance that would have gone to the condo owner anyway, that she take some time to think about her life and what she wants to be, in the future, which they dont seem to put much thought too....

She has told me that the younger girls were already biting into her income, and at 32, even though she looks great, if it was between her and a 21 year old sitting next to her, I think most guys would opt for the 21 year old. She knows her time in the shop is limited, and has bought real estate which brings her income and has increased in value, greatly, in the north, so, we aren't talking about your every day bar girl here.

her home is immaculate and her car paid for in cash.

her home has more air conditioners than a good friend of mine and is in a gated community.

all good things,

but marriage?

After trying that twice,

I will stay on the pay by the week plan,

I like it,

she likes it,

and if she is smart, she will invest wisely, as I am not sticking around forever,

bangkok is hot, and it seems impossible to start a business here, with al the corruption and rules that change according to the breeze,

I was told it is impossible for a farange to own a business here and expect it to be profitable.

even the restaurants get stuck up by the police here,

I dont see the benefit

Wow ....! Some of the comments in this chain are so privately personally opinionated as to be totally ridiculous to even post about Thai girls/women.

The last one about it being "a step down the social ladder to be seen dating a foreigner and to be seen as a prostitute and a slut". Where this final end of his 3o's this guy gurgitated this opinionated thinking I can only guess it was the back room of a bar or an opium den.

been hoping to find an opium den, do they still exist?

Just show us any Thai that says "Sorry I made a mistake" or "Sorry I was wrong" ;-)

Has any Thai ever apologised to anybody? Much less to a falang?

Yes, my girlfriend has apologized many times, usually for her over reacting to something she got wrong in the translation, or her over reacting to something I said or did,

or her over reacting to my desire for more sex from her, than she thinks is required to keep me happy....

when she tells me that thai men aren;t like that, and that they will allow their women to say no to them, and that tahi men will give the women money and never bring it up, I simply tell her, they think they are paying for sex, in advance, and you are just too good at refusing them, that they want you even more,

note the keywords here:

her over reactions

and her thinking I will put up with what thai men will,

she is also 32 and thinks she is getting old, so, this has some psychological factors going for it, that are truly thai in nature, as, no girl in the us thinks she is too old, to be desirable, at 32.........

if this is what you mean by "thainess" I am all for it

All the girls from issan like that...im had the same problem now for a year..just trying to find a way out of this hell.....goodluck to u..think u already knowninside u somewhere that it will never work and for sure not make u happy....!!!!!

A way out of this hell?

go to agoda.com and get a hotel,

maybe your balls will regrow with sleep

Amazing. Listen to www.tomleykis.com

You guys need an education on women. Why do you feel obligated to take care of these predators? Cant you just pump, dump and run? Wasting your lives away trying to keep her happy. Single life guys. Amazing that you put up with their crap. Oh, wait. Your in love. Love=lust + convenience. Boring. TUROK

Predators is a great term for this,

parasite, perhaps better....

we put up with a lot, depending on our age,

after a certain point, there is no excuse,

men lose the respect of their women when they do not take control of the relationship,

that said, it needn't be continual,

more like pumping a well, you start off pumping hard, then, a little steady effort is all it takes,

that said, most of the issues men face are not their brains or education, but their hormones which are rarely in balance,

knowing where they are in their cycle, will keep most men out of danger, AND, increase their sex life,

knowing when to just stay away from them, is key; everyine deserves space, including the men, we have to understand, they need to be alone too, need their g/f's, need their social interactions with others, and then, we will get everything we want,

this does not apply to marriage,

all rules are off then,

and we will always lose,

stay single, they are all seeking to lasso you

Yes, my wife has a habit of doing this. But so do a lot of other Thais that I have done, or tried, to do business with. No matter that they know nothing about the subject at hand, they will put out an non-informed opinion and will not move from that position. I am not sure if it is "cultural" or simply a common behavioral trait. It is like trying to have a discussion with someone from NY.

I am from NYC,

some people, do indeed evolve, but, not if they stay in NY

NY has it's own energy, and was part of a glacier,

we do know everything, until we want to have sex,

then, we suddenly become more agreeable......usually around 14

Maybe tell you that this is a matriarchal society and in general the woman wear the pants in the family

So sit her down and talk to her about it see if she can change a bit more

Why not just take her pants off?

If there is no penis there, she is a female, and needs to understand that,

whoever taught her (her mother) that she could dominate men,

explains 100% why her father left her mother when she was a child,

if she wants to be like her mother, you can tactfully explain to her, why her mother, lost her family life, and had to become the breadwinner and disciplinarian,

that said,

I met my g/f's mother, early in the relationship to see what I was dealing with,

this will NOT be a LTR, no matter how much I love her naked in bed

Mmm, this might get a few opposing comments, but from my experience, it is not only your gf, it seems more a thai thing. No matter how right a farang is, and how wrong a thai is, they will nearly always go for the thai way. Just remember, never say "I told you so" or ask "why" they made that decision. You will be met with silence, could last a few days, and a turned head. Thais are brought up to believe they are right, never wrong, so you have NO chance of winning.

After one disagreement on what my expectations are for her, in our "relationship"

I simply left her a note by the bed, telling her I will see her again when she understands her role more,

and a few days later, I left my rented condo and moved to chiang mai,

once she realized I was no longer in bkk, she drove 10 hours to spend the month with me in chiang mai,

and we havent had that issue arise since,

what was the issue?

sex, what else?

Just show us any Thai that says "Sorry I made a mistake" or "Sorry I was wrong" ;-)

I have a gorgeous thai g/f 32 to my 53

clearly, life experience dictates they can't always be right, especially if is clearly something she doesn't already "know"

that said, when it comes to relationships they have better guidance systems than we do, and it pays to control the reactive part of our nature, and hear them out, first....

if in discussion, note, not argument, you get a refusal to back down from a position, or you have an othersie argumentative woman,

just leave her to the next dope that picks her up, and is focred to deal with her "baggage"

there is a reason why thai girls like older western men,

one of them is, we are more experienced about things that matter

but in many cases, determining what matters and what doesn't matter; is key.

my g/f is the one to stop the discussion if she thinks I am wrong, rather to just agree with me, scarcastically, and as soon as I see her willingness to give in, I reassess the discussion, and sadly, for the posters,

they ARE, usually right

I bought my wife from her mother who promised I could get my money back whenever I wanted. She lied! So I've been stuck with her for 14 years.

I have heard all this "buy from the mother" business,

and, I think it's complete nonsense, unless the girl is 16

girls in their 30's who havent been married, who find a guy willing to play the "pay the mother" game, deserve the mother, and not the daughter,

seriously, my thai g/f told me that the rules of marriage in thailand, require money to the mother, and gold, and all other sorts of tribute,

I said, "that's cool" and, if you find a guy willing to do that,

I will move out, and he can take over the bills,

I havent heard a word about marriage since,

and, the milk is free, so, why buy the cow?

It looks like a troll, but if it's not, well I just don't understand why you need to "pay" your girfriend ? And How can you say that you have a girfriend if you need to "hire her services" every month.

If you don't like to be alone then try to go out more, meet people, join some group. Having a girl that you have to give money every month for no reason makes no sense...

To me you look the troll. Do you not realize that 95+% of the farang/Thai girlfriend/wife relationships are of the rental variety?

Sure there are exceptions, and if you believe posters here 95% of them don't.

Maybe you are young and hansum, but remember the average age of male visitors here is well into the 60', and rarely do their taste run towards "girls" over 30, usually because that's what they have to settle for, the real young hotties are just beyond their budget because they go looking in all the wrong places, don't speak Thai well enough.

But even if you get your teerak straight off the rice farm and get a good deal, doesn't mean you most of us don't have to pay.

If you're exceptional good for you but don't impose your view and judgment on others. . .

Well, you're right for some parts (except the 95% farang/Thai girlfriend/wife relationships are of the rental variety).

Yes I'm young, not too young but didn't go through 30 yet but of course if you compare to the 60+ I'm just a kid. I don't know what does it feel to be that old but in my opinion, the older you get the more experience you have (but we can discuss about it 20 years from now, maybe I will think diferently).

However, something that I am sure, is that you can't consider yourself having a girlfriend / wife if you have to give her a base salary every month ! This is not right ! Regardless hos old I can be, I won't be happy with someone if I feel that I have to give her a monthly basis salary.

I have some good friend who are much older than me (50-60), they all have great wifes and girfriends, but they are not looking for a girl in their mid 20-30.

I'm just trying to be realistic, we have to know that a girl (wherever she's from) won't come with you because you are the "hansum man" when you're 60+ (unless you look like Sean Connery). I also know that in Thailand some girls would not really care to establish a relationship with a much older guy if this guy is really nice and take care of herself and provides her a good future.

In the OP, the "i give her 15.000 baht / month" makes me incomfortable. You can take good care of a girl (and I'm sure much more than 15K/ month) without having to pay her every month.

It's just my opinion, that's true I'm still young, not the most hansum man, I may be wrong and I have few Changs in my stomach as well !

I think you missed the drift of the 15k baht a month dude,

who apparently, is finished with the thread, as,

he has already been humiliated by his own hand,

and he has allowed a girl who made a key to his place that he didn't know about, to sleaze her way back in, and, got a raise to boot!.

the poster in his late 20's, cant understand why guys in their 50's and 60's want girls in their 30's?

I agree with him, late 20's generally are ok w guys up to the mid 40's, (exceptions everywhere),

I know when I was 42 and divorced, the onslaught of girls in the 23-26 range, was inspiring, but not a precedent setter, it it was they want,

girls in their 30's have little choice but to look to the 50's, as they have a much smaller market due to the competition.....

this is the way of the world, and I like it just fine,

paying our way, or seeing it as a lease (rent) w/e, is just the way the world becomes at 50+.

the 20 year old, cannot fathom that, as we are at least his parents age, and older,

but, he will understand all we say here, and if smart, he will get a vaesctomy!

Kaneela, Talk to your husband seriously about your concerns. This is your problem about TRUST. If you have a loving relationship - it will survive, but yes he will get propositioned often, by young attractive women. They are after his money. He will be flattered, whatever he looks like. TALK, TRUST, and find things to do for yourself while you are here.

Do you honestly think that Kaneela is still reading these 4 pages of mostly sage advise on Thai bar girls?

If she is , she is certainly coming to Thailand now, Probably what sold her was the part where her husband will be often propositioned by young attractive women, what ever he looks like.

It gets me to wonder, why (she) didn't ask if the same services are available for women?

after all, why would a bar girl care who is paying?

.

I am a but more realistic about females after being married twice and having affairs with very married women,

one a freakin newlywed............oh, the virtues of those pure amercian girls,.......

I will take a thai girl any day,

How about the many thai girls married to fool farang, and still married to her brother ? Same as American girls ? ( oh the virtues of the pure thai girls)

Why seek virtue?

I thought this was all about lust,

in particular, ours,

and what they charge for us to engage in our favorite pastime?

This aversion to admit to paying..............i just dont get.

Guys to the girl its just business. They dont think of us as boyfriends so please stop thinking of them as girlfriends.

I have to believe real bf gf relations here is few and far btween.

Maybe if you had a personality, a woman could have a real relationship with you.

What if most of us dont want to be seen as a human atm. It cant be a great feeling.

What i as a middle age guy do i have to offer a hot young thai girl other than money? I got nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let the thai guys their age do the romancing.

it sounds to me as though you need some lessons in love, try lesbain porn, and you will learn a few new things, other than, you have nothing to give......try giving her a few mind blowing orgasms and see how fast she is to leave you after that

what are you saying, that thai girls are telling the truth to faranges, who they dont ever expect to see after their visa expires?

I had a few interesting conversations with the Mama Sans in Chiang Mai, when they wanted to know why I refused to buy their ugly girls drinks.....in didnt take long, and she moved the girls away

what part of my post was off?

that thai guys hide their prostitutes, or that the farange walking w prostitutes are truly walking with "nice girls" who recently lost their high tech jobs? (another great line)

1. You posted at 2 AM Thai time. Where are you posting from? 2. It is very difficult to understand your posts because you write your answers above the post you are responding to. 3. Try posting a quote and then the response. Any way, yes your post was off. 4. Unless you speak Thai you will have few meaningful conversations with Mamma sans. 5. Chiang Mai is not really much of a hooker town for Farang. The normal drill is you get the lady somewhere else and then take her to Chiang Mai for a vacation. 6. Chiang Mai is a uni town and all the Thai guys sponsor uni girls and they are very visible. 7. You just don't know where or what to look for yet. 8. Thai mothers and fathers don't want their daughters to be hookers. The ladies go to great lengths to invent jobs rather than discuss the truth at home. There are of course exceptions to this.

I am on mainly US east coast hours due to involvment in the NYSE,

dont wake until Noon to 1pm usually.

I did meet my g/f in bkk, and take her to chaing mai on vacation,

I am referring to the times I went to a bar alone, to either have a drink, or to sit in w the band, and the girls wouldnt take no for an answer, and then I was forced to speak to the owners, or mma sans so the girls wouldnt get in trouble, told them I was from the US, had affiliations they could understand, quickly, and that I had a thai girlfriend, who was sleeping in our hotel room down the street....any of those was usually enough, to get the girls away from my crotch

Of course I believe her,

Why? that's easy, I know what guys will do or say to get a chick in bed.....and the truth is generally, not included......

particularly, if it is in a bar, or anywhere alcohol is being served.....

the common answer, according to her was, "no, I really love, you, I want to take care of you, I love your heart, I love your smile."

well, I love all of that too, but if she wasn't 5"7" 98 lbs and gorgeous, we wouldnt have been having that conversation, as, I wouldn't be attracted to her, no matter how much alcohol is involved, at 53, it doesnt matter,

I want gorgeous, I want youth, and above all, I give the truth, and thus, I get the truth........

I left her once, (ok twice) over what turned out to be cultural misunderstandings, most of which I think are just excuses, or their mothers voices in their heads, and when I said to her, "you were the one who left" she answered with, "you let me walk"

that's right,

I let her walk.........

the guy who started this thread, is wearing the panties........and he is going to be robbed eventually, if not sooner........

I will pay my way, and it is much more than $15,000 Bhat a month, because I was paying $60,000 baht a month to live in a condo alone,

whats a few thousand more a month for a live, young, sex loving female?

I paid much more than that to my wife, just in shoes, clothing (which she never was happy with) and hairdressers every month....also, complained they all ruined her hair, ALL, of them, not her cigarette habit and lack of water intake)

I would gladly pay this thai girl double, and she can call me whatever she wants, boyfriend, lover, roomate, frankly, I dont really care, because, I don't speak thai......

that said, she has been turning away her friends ever since I moved in, because, she doesn't know how to tell her entirely thai crowd, that she has a farange boyfriend, let along a farange live in lover..... and she is now a mistress..........

But if they don't love sex, then, what's the freakin point?

Isnt this, (at our age) and experience, more of a return on the risk reward ratio?

My g/f tried pigeon holing me on text messaging while out with her girlfriends one night,

I said I loved her, and I hoped to see her that night, rather than she going home after drinking, rather than drive,

It was also convenient that they were only a few miles away,

She texted me back, do you love me, or do you just love my body?

To which I took a thniking moment, realized this was the do or die answer, and stated flatly,

what do you mean, " of course I love your body; why can't it be both?

a few hours later, a very drunk woman came to my door, I let her in, she told me she loved me, and now I live with her, in her house,

she also told me, that at 32, she has asked that question of many men, ( I didnt ask how many) and NOT ONE of them, ever answered with anything other than, "no, I love your heart, I love you" and that I was the ONLY man to ever tell her the absolute truth, that yes, I loved her body, a lot.

I now get to enjoy that body, because I was straight up with her, that for me, one goes with the other....

shallow you may say?

I would agree, with you, and my ex wife, and the one who came before her, when they both called me that...........

sorry, some of us get the hot chicks everyone else wants, because, frankly, we don't give a fuc_k and aren't afraid to speak our minds,

Imgaine a hot chick saying that not one man ever told her, he was primarily interested in her, for her looks......

I am dealing with that comes with that, daily, and, it is an interesting learning experience, and, you can teach an old dog new tricks,

the catch is, it has to be with a younger girl......they just think it's new

"she also told me, that at 32, she has asked that question of many men, ( I didnt ask how many) and NOT ONE of them, ever answered with anything other than, "no, I love your heart, I love you" and that I was the ONLY man to ever tell her the absolute truth, that yes, I loved her body, a lot."

And you believe that?

I am sure your bull_shit_detector is on full time, and you also have a built in farange_nonsense indicator as well,

I have a thai g/f, who was raised in the north, and she lives far away from the city, but in bkk,

not long after we met I asked her to become my girlfriend,

considering there is a gargantuan language barrier, and a cultural gap, unimaginable,

we have made it 4 months, and I moved in with her last month,

all this talk of guys on the side, makes no sense to me, as it HAS to be with the other man's permission, unless he is so doped up, or a heavy alcoholic that his senses are so dulled, he doesnt know if he has a woman or a ladyboy.....no offense to the ladyboys,

the reason I address this to you, is, as a thai girl, interacting with mostly farange men on this thread, and in real life too apparently,

my hat is off to you for not thinking all farange are representative of the majority of the one's I meet here,

most of which have no respect for any thai, whether it be male or female.

this is a difficult country to live in,

and, I want to open a bar, but, do not want to feed every other police officers kids,

which is apparently, the only way to keep any business open in this country

Hey, wake up. You get it for free because they are fishing. If no hooking then they will leave you. You ain't no knight in rusted armour. I knew a sixty yr old whom the girl, girl waited two years and finally the family kicked him out after no money, house, gold, truck. You ain't getting it for free. Also they Thai men are left for other men after they don't pay their share of the expenses and start spending the ladies money!! 555. Then they hook up with a lady because they have more in common. SF USA.

get and want are two separate meanings. Generally age isn't an important factor, but when I'm approached by an old man pub/bar who thinks I'm local Thai and tries to BUY me flashing his money, it's kind of offensive. JUST because I can GET doesn't mean I want BELIEVE me. I'm not for sale period.

Sorry, I didnt get back to you sooner, I was outside working on my tan.....

I am darker than my Thai g/f and I am of Ukranian Hungarian descent....

The tanning bed business in the USA is huge, especially in florida, the sunshine state...

The entire US population is eternally seeking to be tanned, and not white......

even black people play in the sun on the beaches in florida,

not sure I agree with you, indeed, the facts don;t agree with you either,

only in Thailand do women want to be whiter,

I actually think it is the blemishes on their faces from their horrible diet that they are really running from, which of course has nothing to do with their pigmentation, and everything to do with their diets of "pig"

I see it as "slightly" cultural, and all Estee Lauder and her pals at Channel.

Yes of course it's silly and the products are useless if not dangerous.

But people of all ages, races, ethnicities, genders, social classes, incomes, and education levels on every continent lighten their complexion

Goes back to ancient China and Japan, ancient Greece, Egypt and India, medieval Europe, European Colonies in Africa and the Caribbean, the US of the early 1900s.

Goes a bit deeper than mass marketing doesn't it.

Find me a culture that prized darker skin. . .

I see it as "slightly" cultural, and all Estee Lauder and her pals at Channel......If I thought a farange could make it in business here, I would open a cosmetics store and sell the high priced, anti wrinkle, and anti aging creams, and the whiteners, that we all knowm just wash down the drain, and don't do a dammmned thing

Status, in Thailand?

It is 100% cosmetic marketing and the fact that the actresses and models on TV are whiter than ghosts, thus, they must be more beautiful

It is all about the creams and lotions, and magic nonsense potions business,

these girls are all consumed with consumerism and they think that being white makes them prettier, when in reality,

naked in bed, they are all the same color........this is pure marketing, and they are the victims of the cosmetics industry, plain and simple,.

The brainwashing is cultural rather than commercial, sure the latter fuels and compounds the desires, but the original demand goes back long before consumer culture or mass marketing.

So universal as to most likely have genetic/evolutionary roots.

Status, in Thailand?

It is 100% cosmetic marketing and the fact that the actresses and models on TV are whiter than ghosts, thus, they must be more beautiful

It is all about the creams and lotions, and magic nonsense potions business,

these girls are all consumed with consumerism and they think that being white makes them prettier, when in reality,

naked in bed, they are all the same color........this is pure marketing, and they are the victims of the cosmetics industry, plain and simple,.

there are mnore salons opening here, and nose fixing, and teeth straigthening places in BKK, than there are drug stores in the US

these girls are blowing their money, ,and some of them are using credit cards to do it,

its nonsense

I am darker than my thai girlfriend, in fact, I think I am a redskin compared to her

I still can't understand why they want to be so dam_n white.....I want the sun, it's crazy, I can;t get her near it, or a swimming pool and a bathing suit, they have a white fetish here, that only makes sense to them

In a bar.... I find honesty so refreshing. So no, she does not have milk white skin, three degrees,
and a family packed with high ranking government officials..

The pale skin thing is true of many asians i work with. I work with Indians, Sri Lankans, Nepalese and Filipinos and the majority of them including the men cover up when the sun is out. The hotter it gets the more clothes they put on. Here is the deal. In their countries people with a certain level of wealth can afford a good education and will work indoors and not get too much sun. Those with a lower education and therefore lower wealth will generally do manual labouring jobs such as farming or construction and get more sun and darker skin. Its a status thing really.

In the Uk in the days before most people could afford a holiday in the sun and before tanning salons existed if someone had a nice tan then you new they had been on a nice holiday, probably somewhere exotic that you had never heard of or could never afford to pay for. Again it is a status symbol but in reverse of the asian one.

Sent from my KFTT using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

why do I get the feeling this was really the husband, trying to see how to be slick when he gets here, and not get caught?

it seems we gave someone all the clues to be able to keep their spouse away from their potential playground?

Has the OP booked their tickets then?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

oh, that is gruesome......

I live w my g/f now,

I am sure I would be dead by now, if there was another man around

.

I am a but more realistic about females after being married twice and having affairs with very married women,

one a freakin newlywed............oh, the virtues of those pure amercian girls,.......

I will take a thai girl any day,

How about the many thai girls married to fool farang, and still married to her brother ? Same as American girls ? ( oh the virtues of the pure thai girls)

I still can't understand why they want to be so damn white.....I want the sun, it's crazy, I can;t get her near it, or a swimming pool and a bathing suit, they have a white fetish here, that only makes sense to them

In a bar.... I find honesty so refreshing. So no, she does not have milk white skin, three degrees,

and a family packed with high ranking government officials..