Scarpolo

While required to get the gov't safely operating again, and for officials to be able to go to work without fear of Sutep and his hordes coming in to take over their offices,

Thailand will not soon recover this time

Maslow

(hierarchy of needs)

brothel is what I think of, when I think of thailand.

I couldnt even go for a normal 300 baht two hour massage without being molested

(band of) brothers

geez, I spelled brothels first

I offered my example to show that the mother is key to the behaviour of her children. Especially when a new step-father has recently arrived.

Yes, I am aware that loan sharks operate in Thailand.

I am also aware that loan sharks are bad people.

Quite why you need to project the possibility of murder and death on this situation without knowing anything about it is quite puzzling.

Please stop quoting me and asking me silly questions.

I was addressing the OP, not you.

I brought it up because the girl I was with for 5 months, older brother was left floating in the Mekhon River for an unpaid gambling debt.

I didnt think I quoted you

Sorry to hear about that, but what has that got to do with this thread?

You're derailing this thread and making it about what has happened to you, instead of offering advice that might be of help.

You quoted me when you asked me about my post.

I see it as valid as, there is no father in the picture and we dont know what other trauma other than separation has occured.

these issues are individual, yes, but,

thailand has its own uniue set of repetitive circumstances, similar to blacks in america,

many times the stories of the thai family sounds like the story of black america, without the food stamps and welfare

I offered my example to show that the mother is key to the behaviour of her children. Especially when a new step-father has recently arrived.

Yes, I am aware that loan sharks operate in Thailand.

I am also aware that loan sharks are bad people.

Quite why you need to project the possibility of murder and death on this situation without knowing anything about it is quite puzzling.

Please stop quoting me and asking me silly questions.

I was addressing the OP, not you.

I brought it up because the girl I was with for 5 months, older brother was left floating in the Mekhon River for an unpaid gambling debt.

I didnt think I quoted you

thanks for seconding the thought.,

clearly, this is an individual issuem case by case, person by person,

the country is irrelevant

I thank all the people for their advise

Sure i know i have to make a decission

Nothing about be hard or soft.

Just about do i want have problems later, no i dont want have that.

When I have to run, it would be a run with respect for my gf and take my responsabilities.

Many guys just dumb an ex gf without even blink the eye.

My gf is not a bargirl but a widdowed one who has worked an office job for put money on the table.

She was always good for me but was unable to handle her son.

Never ever asked me for money in the 6 years i know her.

She is used to he is the boss in her life, maybe compensate him for not have a dad and allow him everything .

She is not a bad person, she has a nice family ( i like them all ) who is not agree with the kids attitude.

Maybe many of you think i am stupid think like this.

I am glad read all of your comments.

But not all comments are same. not all situations are the same and not all backgrounds are the same.

Now she know she made mistakes with him.

The boy is playing you and your wife against each other. He's seeing how far he can push things knowing that his mother will always cave in. He knew that before you arrived.

14 months isn't very long really, so he hasn't developed any kind of respect for you yet. Because he's 14, he probably doesn't have much respect for anyone, not even himself.

My wife is quite strict with her two daughters (13 And 11), I think she started from the day they were born. They are polite and well mannered. They pretty much do as they're told. Obviously they have their moments of disobedience and get themselves into a bit of trouble here and there, but that's normal, and there's nothing wrong with it if it's the exception rather than the rule.

If there are problems, or decisions to be made about their lives, we discuss them together. So far, we have not disagreed as I can see that she wants them to be responsible and respectful people.

I have to say, that in your situation, rather than looking for a strategy to deal with the boy, by yourself, I think you should be speaking with his mother and trying to work out how both of you address the problem together.

If you present a united front, then he will have no choice but to comply.

While you try the heavy hand and she doesn't support you, things will never change. He knows he can divide the two of you. That's what he wants to do. He wants his mummy all to himself.

If the two of you can show that you are together, you are fair, and you both say the same things, he will fall in line and be happier for it.

Good luck.

This is not the same situation as yours, as this kids father is dead.

We dont even know if it was murder, suicide, accident, loan sharks,

Maybe the kid witnessed it,

Maybe the mother has been a dishrag for men,

this is a bad situaiton, and will not improve,

call it, slow death

Where did I say that the situation was the same as mine?

Loan Sharks? What are you smoking?

You offered your example for what reason exactly?

to show the OP things can work out?

And, loan sharks are a fact of life in thailand and they murder people on a regular basis, fact

I thank all the people for their advise

Sure i know i have to make a decission

Nothing about be hard or soft.

Just about do i want have problems later, no i dont want have that.

When I have to run, it would be a run with respect for my gf and take my responsabilities.

Many guys just dumb an ex gf without even blink the eye.

My gf is not a bargirl but a widdowed one who has worked an office job for put money on the table.

She was always good for me but was unable to handle her son.

Never ever asked me for money in the 6 years i know her.

She is used to he is the boss in her life, maybe compensate him for not have a dad and allow him everything .

She is not a bad person, she has a nice family ( i like them all ) who is not agree with the kids attitude.

Maybe many of you think i am stupid think like this.

I am glad read all of your comments.

But not all comments are same. not all situations are the same and not all backgrounds are the same.

Now she know she made mistakes with him.

The boy is playing you and your wife against each other. He's seeing how far he can push things knowing that his mother will always cave in. He knew that before you arrived.

14 months isn't very long really, so he hasn't developed any kind of respect for you yet. Because he's 14, he probably doesn't have much respect for anyone, not even himself.

My wife is quite strict with her two daughters (13 And 11), I think she started from the day they were born. They are polite and well mannered. They pretty much do as they're told. Obviously they have their moments of disobedience and get themselves into a bit of trouble here and there, but that's normal, and there's nothing wrong with it if it's the exception rather than the rule.

If there are problems, or decisions to be made about their lives, we discuss them together. So far, we have not disagreed as I can see that she wants them to be responsible and respectful people.

I have to say, that in your situation, rather than looking for a strategy to deal with the boy, by yourself, I think you should be speaking with his mother and trying to work out how both of you address the problem together.

If you present a united front, then he will have no choice but to comply.

While you try the heavy hand and she doesn't support you, things will never change. He knows he can divide the two of you. That's what he wants to do. He wants his mummy all to himself.

If the two of you can show that you are together, you are fair, and you both say the same things, he will fall in line and be happier for it.

Good luck.

This is not the same situation as yours, as this kids father is dead.

We dont even know if it was murder, suicide, accident, loan sharks,

Maybe the kid witnessed it,

Maybe the mother has been a dishrag for men,

this is a bad situaiton, and will not improve,

call it, slow death

Do they stand by their men during tough times... the good ones do and if yours don't, well then it's you who chose the wrong one, isn't it?

Hindsight hindsight.....if if

this topic doesnt even make sense to me anymore.

people make choice changes for a variety of reasons.

tough times are either temporary, or they are the beginning of the end,

it matters how the person got to those tough times, and if there is a way out.

if a guy is circling the drain, is it loyalty to remain to zee the final decline?

The OP is under a misapprehension.

Take on the girlfriend and take on the son as well, they come as a package, take mother, get son free, whether the OP likes it or not.

I have no doubts that if the boy was the biological son of the OP, he would never contemplate throwing the boy out of the family home, and same must apply with his girlfriend`s son, if the OP wants the now present girlfriend to be his future intended wife, which means he has to become a father figure to the lad even if the son is still in contact with his real father. Otherwise my only suggestion is that the OP breaks his relationship from his girlfriend and seeks someone completely single, never been married and has no children or any other types of baggage or strings attached. Otherwise he should try to make the best and deal with the situation as it is because there is no way that the mother will ever cast out her son, not under any circumstances.

'

he should show them both the door.

then see what he wants after the problem is no longer his

dogs

Faith

formality

perception,

subjective reasoning,

I love thai females,

I think they embody everything girls should, and did in the US back in the 70's

what is being done to them now, is criminal.,

the white face and skin is a national obsession, in bangkok anyway,

the tanning phenomenon in the west, limited to a small group overall

not to say that vanity has a national boundary, it doesnt

I have no interest in western women now that I have been wtih a few thai's

there is no going backwards,

thai females are better, in every way,

how sad for you that I was your source of entertainment when you could be working on your reading comprehension skills,

nowhere does beijng a sun worshipper require that a person stay in the sun and burn themselves

the therapeutic and positive health effects of the sun are very well known to those who have interest

walking around pale is not healthy or attractive

thais think walking around pale IS attractive and dark skin IS NOT

yes, it is their national obsession,

even men get the acids treatments, its insane

and western men and women go to tanning parlours. equally insane.

agreed, not just insane, inherently more dangerous then the actual sun itself

that they proliferate in the sunshine state, is beyond reasonable understanding, other than, the people that go there refuse to be pale

methinks he need understand Marshall Law first

love for sale

how sad for you that I was your source of entertainment when you could be working on your reading comprehension skills,

nowhere does beijng a sun worshipper require that a person stay in the sun and burn themselves

the therapeutic and positive health effects of the sun are very well known to those who have interest

walking around pale is not healthy or attractive

thais think walking around pale IS attractive and dark skin IS NOT

yes, it is their national obsession,

even men get the acids treatments, its insane

the idea that westerners have to accept thai culture, is assinine

Yeah, - exactly the same as my wife's 14-yo grandson, who lives with us, while his quite decent mother is working overseas. Difference is that my worldly wise 58-yo wife agrees with me and will also give this disrespectful 6ft brat a clip under the ear when needed. Upon my suggestion, we have put him to working on holidays, do jobs around the house and will have to cut down his computor (Face-<deleted>) use, plus want to know where he has gone on the motorbike at night?? I suspect that with his pot smoking little friend, that they did a cash grab robbery from the motorbike, so I told them in no uncertain terms, what to expect in the "monkey house." Told my very nice wife not to protect him, or he will end up in trouble with te law, and I started threatening to send him back to his hopeless father. Also suspect that he is smoking a bit of weed (I know, because one of my Aussie sons is an addict), so he is going to come unstuck with me very shortly, and he knows it. All started when he marched into our bedroom to claim my nice silk shirt (without asking), so "sony boy" got a big tongue lashing from me and losing-it and shouting (which they hate), is the best way to get them to listen. After having lived with Thai families I know that it is a cultural thing where the girls are usually quite well disciplined, but the boys are treated like little gods, which is why many of them grow up to be lying, arrogent a----holes. As others are saying, - If you cannot get the support of your wife, then threaten to "pull the plug;" - You can win, but you have to be tough with them and not show any weakness; - Good Luck...

sounds like you wil be fingered as the pot dealer when he gets popped.

just one more reason why I wont marry or get too deeply involved with a thai

thanks for an uinexpected example of danger

how sad for you that I was your source of entertainment when you could be working on your reading comprehension skills,

nowhere does beijng a sun worshipper require that a person stay in the sun and burn themselves

the therapeutic and positive health effects of the sun are very well known to those who have interest

walking around pale is not healthy or attractive

You hit the nail on the head,

"time" is what is takes

too many, self included in the past, rush in to relationships because we see the girls for what we want them to be

and oftentimes, they are not what "we" want them to be, they are "who they are"

accepting that is the challenge and perhaps the key

smooth

soft

Plymouth

beep