richard_smith237

Then you are using the word 'Tourist' in place of 'Non-Thai' in this perspective... A Tourist is someone who visits a place on holiday.... Tourist's do not make a place their home. I don't get offended by it - I simply find the term inaccurate and when used in the manner "you're just a tourist here" then its designed to trigger a response.

You use stupid inflammatory language to distort reality. Infidel is someone who does not hole the same faith or religion and is accosted with muslims calling non-muslims infidels... its not used to as a term for non-nationals or those of a different race... aliens would be more accurate, or... 'foreigner' as being the most accurate. Its true that we could never be considered Thai by Thai's, even if we carried Thai nationality - but that does not mean we cannot and do not comfortably 'fit in' within our communities and integrate comfortably into life to such a degree its clearly obvious we are not 'tourists'... Thus: Its on this point your comments were flawed... 'we are not all tourists here', and we are not all considered tourists here by the Thai's around us....

The issue with Cashiers checks is they can be faked... When I've made large cash-payments, I've arranged a cashiers check But when receiving large cash-payments, when receiving a cashiers-check, I've had to call the Bank and verify the check... and then when paying it in, getting the bank to contact the other bank and again verifying the check. .. Thus, cash removes that hassle and ambiguity. These days - its easier to simply transfer the money directly as direct transfers are now instantaneous (they weren't in the past)

You are fooling yourself. Nope... You are oversimplifying and dumbing the perspective down to a binary concept. Thai's are observant as anyone else and can spot a newbie tourist from an integrated foreigner, as can as any of us who've been here any length of time. Thai's can spot a foreigner with hooker, they can also judge the socio-status of a foreigner based on his actions and appearance, also based on the status of their partner make further 'evaluation' (or judgment)... There is a whole range of observations any of us and Thai's will make to 'place us on their socio-totem-pole'..... 'Tourist' is just one notch of many on that 'totem pole' of socio-status with which they evaluate / judge those around them...

Yeah... you are correct.. All guys under 50's.... Professionals who've been working here / basing themselves here since our 20's... Its a different demographic and easier to meet females within our own 'bracket' at that age... By the time we and our Wives (of similar age) are in our 50's - we will have been together a long time and the companionship well established. Coming in as a retiree in our 60's - things are different... Firstly, no one male of that age is interested in meeting another female above 50 years old - and no female below 50 is interested in meeting a male older than 60 years old unless there is a certain 'security' in it for them - the demographical differences and choices are quite different to those who've arrived earlier in life. If in older life - retirees - I don't see why they would get married. But the point still exists and remains valid that 'family and societal pressures' can be placed on the female to legitimise a relationship by getting married. The Western male may insulated against all of this.. nevertheless, the female may well suffer the pressures placed on her by society, her family and also friends - this could get passed along to the Western male and also place pressure on the relationship - its up to the male how they handle this, many give in to it and just get married. Is it a big deal if a Western retiree gets married - cost is minimal if just doing the paper version, cost of divorce is also cheap here (if no significant assets are accrued during marriage)... but, as others have pointed out - if older, why expose yourself to that risk ?... If as an older male, the in the relationship female is going to walk away because you won't get married, then thats her choice.

There is family pressure too... and also implications of 'indecency' which can upset some more traditional families here.... face is everything and parents are often worried about 'what the friends will think'.... When I started dating my Wife - it was kept fairly quiet from the parents - so we could 'travel together' and Wife could go on holiday with her 'cousins'... etc.. It was expect that future Father in Law was going to accept a Foreigner dating his daughter (a lot of friend said tis too - future InLaws very strict). When we did finally meet, the future inLaw were very polite... but behind closed doors future FiL was not pleased. We gave him time to accept me (he was always very polite with me), we had plenty of dinners etc, but Wife had to be home every night etc... It was only when I asked them for Marriage that they relaxed a little and saw that this was 'real'... they said they could see their daughter was happy with me and that is what mattered to them. Then the circus began and massive wedding plans, me having to put my-foot down a few times and prevent a ridiculous spectacle. In the build up to the Wedding, future FiL was relentlessly ribbed by his friends - as a social being he was forced to sing Karaoke only in English etc... (something we'd probably do to our mates)... The wedding was as much for them as it was for my Wife... (over half the people there my Wife didn't recognise). Once our parents Met FiL relaxed a lot - they got on very well, there was a clear mutual respect. As soon as a grandchild was born the transition was complete - InLaws seemed to like me more than their daughter !!! - quite and amusing turn around... ... They visit whenever and as often as they want, spend time with their grandchild... ... a very normal, healthy relationship - I care for them a lot.... ... to me, this is just very normal life... I'd expect no different here than back home in the UK.

I've never tried this... But.. for example..... IF you are in Thailand and wanted to apply for a Non-Immgrant O Visa (assuming you have to be out of the country)... ... Could you apply online at the Penang Consulate / or Vientaine Embassy (do they have online applications there). - Along with the paper-work, submitting a flight ticket to Thailand. Then, once approved and ready to affix the visa, fly to that destination.. (Penang or Vientiane) and have the Visa affixed in your passport and then take the return flight (as already booked). Possible ?

Somewhat confusing.. You - in yours 70's Her - in her 50's Together for 15 years (she was at least 35 when you got together ?) You sent her to high school at age 12 There's a 23 year gap in that story. You don't feel the need for any other female company but openly admit to paying for female company in many other threads... You usually only discuss being with females younger than 30'ish. There's a lot of the story here that conflicts...

No thats not private. In much the same way, playing loud music that is audible beyond the confines of your property is also not 'private'...

Bob... You are not that stupid... When opening the door you have made a conscious decision to expose yourself to the public world outside - you are no longer 'in private'.... If you wanted 'continued privacy' then don't answer the door no matter how many times the door bell is wrung, regardless of how impolite or wrong they were for 'repeatedly ringing the door bell'. You have knowingly exposed yourself to those 'in public'.... whether you were on your own private property is irrelevant. Its the same for someone being naked in their house with the curtains open while every can see walking past the front of their house - that is still indecent exposure regardless of them being within their private residence. Its the same as someone sunbathing naked in the privacy of their back-garden when the neighbours house overlooks the garden - while a private property, privacy is not ensured, thus the area is no long 'private' - thus being naked is also 'indecent exposure'. In short, behaving in a certain manner just because you are within the confines (borders) of your property does not mean that the those borders either legally or morally protect you from your actions within those confines / borders - examples of this are both visual and audible... You cannot do what you like on your own property when others outside of the property line can be impacted - to think you can without understanding why highlights a certain unintelligent bloodymindedness.

But your anecdote fits your bias... the older guy with the younger brown girl with lots of gold.. ... Do you not also notice plenty of mixed couples who just look so very normal together, or perhaps they are hardly noticeable just like any other couple ? Perhaps this is more location dependent.. i.e. more normal couples in an area like Bangkok than Pattaya or *Phuket. But non of my friends are dating or married to ex-Bar girls, they are all dating or married to girls who are financially independent from a similar tier on that so called 'Thai Totem-pole' of socio-economic-educational status... Their relationships are no different from that which they'd be enjoying in the west, albeit with the occasional cultural difference which can be bother a positive and a negative depending on the individual issue at hand. -------- *slightly off topic but the point is similar: When initially moving here a group of us (regionally employed and based in Thailand) looked at living in Phuket - after staying there for a few weeks (about 4 I think), we realised that its harder to live a 'normal' life.. Its going to be more difficult to meet normal people (Thai's / Thai females)... ... There is an associated 'double stigma' where both the females and males are making assumptions and lot of those assumptions rely on a 'mental geo-cache'.. .... i.e. In Pattaya many will make the mistake in assume that a lot of females there are bar girls, where as that assumption is not so common in Bangkok.... As such, many girls in Pattaya may assume that many foreigners assume all Thai girls are bar girls and in turn act more defensively, where as in Bangkok there is less need for the females to be on guard for that....

I think thats very normal... The 'honey-moon' period lasts a short time... ... Its what happens after that that impacts on the success of a relationship and that requires invested effort from both parties... thats quite normal I'd say.

Call it that if you want to... we can put a spin on and shoe-horn any idea or information we have into the conclusion we want to put forwards... ... Whats wrong with having someoene to care for you and you for them ??? You've approached the discussion with a myopic tunnel vision that any relationship between a Western Male and Thai female is based solely on him being an ATM him needing a maid - I wonder how much of that is projection from your own exposure. ... What about those who have entered relationship that are nothing other than genuine, where care, consideration and respect is mutual ?... As far as being afraid of being alone - whats wrong with that ?... many people like so share things with others, isn't that a natural human trait ?... I don't want to sit in a pub alone, I'd rather share that with friends. I don't want to go out for dinner alone, I'd rather share that with my Wife, I don't want to holiday alone, I'd rather share that with my family... I'm happy to do all of those things alone, but my preference is to share those things with people I care for who's company I value. As far as the 'mommy comment'... Whats wrong with being looked after ?.. Just because my Wife does the cooking, it does not mean I can't... she's just a far better cook than I am, she's an excellent cook of both Western and Thai food and enjoys cooking a lot. I on the other hand find myself doing more 'fixing around the house' etc... I'd say that's far more normal than this 'mommy complex' you allude to.

Indeed... I find it incredibly important to spot the red and yellow cars in my periphery... the green car's I'm really not bothered about !!! I also find it incredibly important that when I'm sat at traffic lights but only looking sideways that I see the traffic lights changing..

Is it ???... Why don't we have these tests in Europe where road safety is considered paramount ?

You should tell him the colour of your car... because the colour of the vehicle in your periphery is of the utmost importance, right ??... This is why we have these colour vision tests to obtain our driving license in the wes, erm... right ?????

You mean they didn't even call you 'hansum man' and compliment the excellence of your schlong ???

A valid point - learning from the experiences of others can be handy.. however, the experiences encountered of those on this platform and attitudes across it varies significantly. IMO - the best advice is do what makes you happy while not stepping outside the bounds of your own common sense and what you'd do in your home country. Dating and marrying within your own socio-economic-educational demographic has the most potential for a positive outcome when considering companionship, whereas others just want an 'outer-shell that's warm to the touch'...

To be fair - the guys going to pray take as much time as the guys going to smoke... Both seem to have an almost fundamentalist views of their rights... On that.. It is those from 'other nations' (generally not Pakistani) who tend to be more flexible... i.e. when we are working together on something important and their 'praying alarm' goes off... it doesn't matter to them, they'll complete what we / they are working on and prey later - they are not of the opinion that they'll get struck down from the skies if they miss a prayer time, these guys seem more polite, more flexible, more accommodating, they tend to recognise, respect and value the choices of others rather than judge them as 'lesser beings' for having different beliefs.

(Quote of removed post deleted) On this specific subject and adding a nationality / former nationality aspect to it - I wonder how many of the Sharia Councils are run by Pakistani / former Pakistani's... (and that how many of that group in Bradford were of Pakistani origin). The reasons I inject this: Having worked all over in many Muslim and Non-Muslim countries and having been exposed and worked with folk of those nationalities I find those from Pakistan to be the most 'extreme' in their views and attitudes to such a degree that I struggle to find redeeming qualities in all but a minority. Its a delicate subject and one shrouded in potential racism when exposing our views, however, having worked in Indonesia, Malaysia, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, throughout the Middle East - certain 'attitudes' have been observed and more often than not I've found common ground, mutual respect and enjoyment with the majority of those from these countries except Pakistan (when generalising of course). Thus: I often suspect its is these differences and lack of 'adaptation' of those specifically from Pakistan that leads to many issues, combined with an extreme absense of assimilation this nationality causes specific issues in the UK that other Nationalities do not, this has led to an underbelly of contempt within some of the British Public who can recognise these differences. When arguing against immigration, its is not the Pakistani & Indian Doctors, Dentists etc, its not the Muslim, Hindi, Sikh Indians, Chinese, South East Asians the vast majority of whom contribute towards society - it a specific 'sub-set of attitudes' that appear 'anti-British'... those of an extreme religious attitudes have caused major issues in the UK throughout history, it used to be the Norther Ireland Conflict causing major issues, now it appears to be the what could be argued as extreme-Islamification that appears to cause a degree of unrest within the societies and area's they inhabit. ... Is that being an Islamophobe ? - I don't think so - But I'd argue that those from Pakistan whose Islamic views are on the extreme side of the spectrum lack the respect and social values of the UK to it's detriment, whereas other culture-religion combinations tend to add to multiculturalism that can be enjoyed by the nation.

Short speed boat ride across the Gulf of Thailand, around Singapore, up the Malacca Straits, and up the Andaman Sea. "Short?" You meant Pattaya, right. T'was a Hangover Part 2 reference...

Why? you ask... I would have though that the recent stories are a perfect example of why. But to spell it out... showing annoyance and complaining at another driver is likely to escalate a situation. (BTW: The word Karen was used in the description of a different incident when a woman was arguing with a tailor and received a slap). Sadly - Yes you do.. or risk facing conflict with an unhinged Thai male who may be carrying a weapon (consider stories of years gone past... foriegner attacked by taxi driver with Machete over a 10 baht fare difference (or something like that)... Thats not to suggest we should be meek door mats - but there is a time a place and a manner in which to show 'disagreement' - shouting at another person is not it. Thats good, but I'm sure you handled it differently than shooting off your mouth. Thats not to say people who are cut up are wrong to verbalise their annoyance or complaint, however, we all know the potential result here. Even so, I am sometimes guilty of papping my horn etc... on occasion I see how that has visibly angered the other driver as they become more erratic. The main rule here is keep calm.... We can't re-educed all the bad drivers out there so there is no point getting involved.

As far as I'm aware, there should be no issues whatsoever.... Just show - Existing Licence (swiss) - Passport - Certificate of Address - Medical Checkup Certificate - Do the online Video (have a copy of the QR code from the video) - Attend the DLT and go through the process (and classroom eye / reaction tests etc) Also in Thailand, you don't 'do a swap' - they just give you a Thai Driving Licence and your Swiss one will remain valid and in your possession.

How will that work if you fall seriously unwell or get seriously injured and can't travel to the UK ? Note: I've had a couple of big incidents and was luckily insured - most recent this year (about US$15,000 from a sports injury / about 15 year ago I fell seriously unwell - Cost was US$50,000 ). Of course, treatment would be cheaper in a Government Hospital - but there are a couple of very recent there that highlight how terrible the treatment can be.

I wonder how much this does actually impact tourism.... I'm considering a visit to Turkey as a stop-over on the way to the UK. I've been reading some threads about the rip-offs there and am re-evaluating if I can really be bothered dealing with the BS's while wanting to relax - seems as though I have to be alert all the time against scammers and I really can't be bothered with that when wanting to just chill and see a few sights for a couple of days. I wonder how many people re-evaluate their visit to Thailand due to similar issues.