scottiejohn

When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I know I said that I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband".

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll soon see about that."

I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", The operator said "Oh no! Not you again"!

Just plugging the gaps in the conversations!

More of a sinking feeling in my case!

Roger and out!

To totally ruin the Country!

Why? As if I care!

My wife and I had a great romantic courtship and then got married on the summit of Mt Everest. But it was all downhill from there on!

Would you care to explain what that means to non Americans! i suspect even some of them might want clarification!

Pillsbury Doughboy death notice. Sad news: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy. The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly. Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects; including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Capt. Crunch. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and raised in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being flakey at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and his three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough. He and his wife also had one in the oven. He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night And realizes her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs and finds him sitting alone in the kitchen, looking very serious. “Is everything alright, honey?” she asks. “Do you remember way back when we first started dating? And your father caught us fooling around in the back of your car?” “Of course!” she says, thinking how sweet it is that he’s reminiscing on the early days of their courtship. “Do you remember how he stuck that shotgun in my face and told me that if I didn’t marry you he’d send me to jail for 25 years?” “How could I forget?” He looks up at her, wipes away a tear, and says “I would have gotten out today.”

Was there a sucksessfull successful ending?

But not the bellicose one! I am too much of a coward!

A bit late to go down that route now at your age! ????

What! Just to put his finger in you? PS'; Is "longtail" a euphemism for something we should not discuss in a family orientated forum?

Not a sperm bank me thinks!

He can't as he will not have any friends with that odorous attitude!

"He lies constantly." I agree with you wholeheartedly! BTW. When have you ever found an occasion to be shocked by it telling the truth?

That maybe OK for the self-conscious who don't want to admit the NEED to get fit! But what about the Selfie boasting and bragging brigade?

'To boldly go where no Thai man will ever go in a Thai Rocket'

CM IO allow you to have more than one sole account so if you need to spend some of the 400,000 then put it in a separate account. Also remember that BKK take the withholding tax automatically from fixed deposit accounts but you can reclaim it from the tax man if you get the forms from the bank!

I think that is normal throughout the world but especially in Thailand!

At least the Turkeys know that eventually they are going to get fed as much as they can take and then end up well and truly stuffed!