scottiejohn

I bet the person that laid the cement quacked up when he saw it!

A fishy tail that, on the scale of things, I am dead set against believing! But if I am wrong may I go to Heaven in a cloud of pure white smoke!

Party loyalty is understandable. Cult like idolizing a particular politician MEGAmaniac is not!

"No, it is your BOT that writes the daft stuff, end of............................. A real human could not be so stupid as to support or write the stuff (insert appropriate expletive of your choice) it/he/they/whatever is posting!

What an arrogant attitude! That is probably why to the locals you just don't matter! When in Rome etc!

And you of course unlike most on here (as I believe), you were sold an 'off the shelf' republican worldview so your cultural programming doesn't allow you to consider anything outside of the box which was designed for you to be living in at this moment. That's fine though.

Same for me from Scotland to Thailand! In fact on many occasions the BKK app notifies me of the credit to my BKK account before wise say it has completed. I am of course using the "expenses for living in country" reason!

Woman sends her husband to the doctor, because he has erectile problems He comes home with a bottle of pills. Wife asks, "so, did he give you Viagra, or Cialis?" Guy says, "Neither, he gave me really strong diet pills." Wife says, "that's weird, why would you have to take diet pills?" Handing her the bottle, the man says, "They're not for me. They are for you so take one at breakfast and one at bedtime and he says you must stop ordering takeaway food!."

Erectile dysfunction Is one disability that’s hard to beat! PS; I decided to put together a support group for erectile dysfunction It was a big flop and nobody came.

My Paw said to let you off with a tail wagging!

If not those loafing dogs will become toast! ???? PS; My highlight in the quote!

Guy goes into the doctor’s. “Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.” How’s that?” PS; I wonder if he's got the runs yet!

I took my English Mastiff old dog to the vet the other day. I said “My old dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? I cried just because he’s old and cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy”

I went to the pharmacist with a strawberry growing out of my head yesterday and asked him for some cream to put on it.” He got very tarty for some reason!

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his Mr Whippy van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself by accident. The whip round for his funeral is tomorrow!

Drugs seem to be everywhere now! I recently bought a new answering machine and it came with this prerecorded message; “…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…”

Two blondes walk into a building! You’d think at least one of them would have seen it.

Bud light has always been a woke trans beer! It's water that identifies as beer!

A man driving a Kia is stuck in traffic in a west county village. The Kia driver rolls down his window and calls out to the Rolls-Royce driver, "Hey, pal, that's an impressive car. Does your Rolls have Wi-Fi? My Kia does!" The Rolls-Royce driver replies, "Yes, it has Wi-Fi." The Kia driver continues, "Nice! And do you have a fridge in there? I have a fridge in the back of my Kia!" The Rolls-Royce driver, getting irritated, responds, "Yes, there's a refrigerator." Not backing down, the Kia driver asks, "That's cool, man! What about a TV? I've got a TV in my Kia's backseat!" The Rolls-Royce driver, increasingly annoyed, says, "Yes, there's a television. A Rolls-Royce is the epitome of luxury vehicles!" The Kia driver says, "Amazing car! But, do you have a bed in there? I've got a bed in the back of my Kia!" Frustrated that his car lacks a bed, the Rolls-Royce driver speeds off. He heads straight to the dealership and orders a bed to be installed in his Rolls. The following morning, he picks up his car, and the bed looks fantastic, complete with silk sheets and elegant brass accents. It's undoubtedly a bed suited for a Rolls-Royce. The Rolls-Royce driver spends the entire day searching the same villagefor the Kia. Finally, late that night, he spots the Kia parked with fogged-up windows. He gets out of his Rolls-Royce and knocks on the Kia's window. At first, there's no response, but then the Kia owner pokes his wet soapy head out. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the Rolls-Royce driver declares smugly. The Kia driver replies, "Did you really drag me out of the shower just to tell me that?!

Shocking statistics show that somebody in London gets stabbed every 72 seconds Poor guy! He won't live long unless they get him to hospital soon!

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said "Fluctuations." The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluck you Americans too!"

A badass is driving with his friend in a Ferrari, and he speeds through a red light His friend shouts, "What are you doing?! You just ran that light!" "I'm just a badass and I like doing things like that" He laughs. He continues to speed through each red light three way junction, and his friend cowers and shouts at his friend all the way. "I can't take it anymore! We're going to get hit!" "C'mon, I'm a badass, my man! I know what I'm doing." At a crossroads, he pulls to a stop at a green light. The friend says, "You're kidding me. Why did you stop?" "Gotta keep an eye out for those other stupid badasses."

I do hope it just to ask someone else to open the door for you!

The coding inside each First Direct code generators are unique to each customer!

Is your spelling of "will" correct? It seems a little bit short in this context! ????