BangkokReady

Haha, yeah. Was it because she will never find a replacement who could live up to your standard, as you have ruined all other men in her eyes, or as long as she has enough money she just doesn't want the hassle and would rather be free to enjoy life? ????

It's terrible when the cases of death get too high.

She certainly has a type...

Soylent Green is people?

Looking back through the thread, I have to ask, is this girl actually confirmed as being "ugly" by Thai standards? Or are you just suggesting that this is the kind of girl that you think Thai men don't like?

The same reason there isn't a thread somewhere with young Thai women discussing the practicalities and moral challenges surrounding entering into a relationship with a much older foreigner mainly for money... ...men are viewed as predatory and are seen to be taking something from women in relationships while their contributions are taken for granted and not valued.

Are you saying that a person around your age would change diapers? Or is there some other factor that a non-age-gap relationship brings? Not saying I disagree, just seeking confirmation.

I realise you're a bit annoyed that I've disagreed with some of your posts, but this "wanting to marry someone in their early twenties means you're a paedo" is a bit much. Have a little think about what you're saying.

Moral: rich people are allowed to do what they want.

I never said there was a high number of them. You seem to have a slight problem in your understanding of most of what people are posting in this thread. I've noticed you read a post where someone says "X is possible" and you respond as though they are saying "X happens all the time, everyone wants X, X is the only thing". Im not sure what more I can say, other than take your time with the comments you read and try to think in a bit more of of neutral way. Hmmm... I don't think school girls have even been mentioned. I'm not young enough that a 20 year age-gap puts me with school girls. And, if I was, I'd probably still be looking for a twenty something, obviously. Sorry if that disappoints.

I think the first two would probably need to be present for it to work, so perhaps men who do not meet them are not in the equation. I doubt that if everything was the same except the age, that an older guy would be preferable. Die before the wife is an interesting one. I think it's true that women are generally happier than men after having lost a partner. I'm not sure any man would be OK with the idea of his wife dying 10-20 years before him. He would probably end up quite isolated (if he didn't find someone new).

Interesting. Sounds a little like "dual mating strategy", but maybe Thai style.

Funny thing is, there's literally nothing she could say to counter that. All she could do is try to shame you about the age difference (which is basically a meaningless endeavour).

What about with her parents? Were you concerned about what they might think? Were you closer to the age of her parents than you were to her?

I realise you aren't replying to me, but hopefully you won't mind me answering. There's nothing wrong with you suggesting that an early twenties university educated Thai girl's first choice is not a foreign man 20 years her senior. However, you cannot say that there is absolutely no early twenties university educated Thai girl whose first choice is a foreign man 20 years her senior. Also, you cannot say that a "first choice" is always relevant in terms of who the girl chooses to be with, as there may be other factors that limit the choice of men available to her or incentivise her to choose a foreign man 20 years her senior.

So make a topic about foreigners when it has nothing to do with foreigners? Just because you're concerned about victims of sex trafficking? Not because you have an issue with foreigners so want to say something bad about them? Suuuuure... Not really the point. Yes, a sex predatory sex maniac is totally going to see you slagging off foreigners and change their ways... /s ???? Whilst sex trafficking is indeed sex trafficking, I seriously doubt any foreigners "traffic" girls. There's a chance, but it wouldn't be as common as you suggest. Meeting a girl in a bar who has been trafficked would not make a person a trafficker of that girl. I'm not even sure that what is happening in the above article actually meets the definition of sex trafficking. That's gross and all, but it doesn't make every foreigner, or even every foreigner who uses the services of bar girls, a sex trafficker. Meh.

What do you put the tolerance of the age-gap down to then? It just wasn't ever a factor? Or there is something else about you (or about her)?

I would say that the person you are replying to is looking at this select group and assuming that they represent the majority of Westerners.

I often think there is this kind of perfect match between Thai/Asian women and European men, in terms of treatment and the way they have both been sort of hen-pecked by their own societies. Many Western men are taught to wait on their women, provide for them, let them decided how they live their lives, make most of the effort, while they choose to be "liberated" from the responsibility of being a woman. While Thai women can be taught to accept any kind of behaviour from a Thai man, cook and clean for them, even sometimes earn most of the money. Combine these two and you get two people that want to take care of the other person, nurture them, provide for them, do anything they want to keep them happy, etc.. It always surprises me that more Thai women aren't seeking out foreign men. It's the exact opposite in Vietnam. There women believe that Western men will treat them better, provide a better standard of living, give them a boost in social status (as foreigners are viewed as being high status there) and they want a White baby. I wonder if Thai women actually want to be treated badly, or believe it is what they deserve in some way, as it is what they are used to.

Yeah, thank you, it's been interesting so far. A good range of different opinions. I have purely good intentions and I'm just looking to learn (forewarned is forearmed, etc.), so there's no trolling or disrespect intended on my part whatsoever. There are obvious benefits for the man in the type of relationship I have described (risks too of course) and hopefully there are benefits for the woman too, beyond simple remuneration. It's nice to hear about successful and happy age-gap relationships. Just curious, but he doesn't want to unpack it any further, which is fine. Matter closed. ????

Why does this bother you so much? If you're happy with the amount of sex you had when you were younger and you are happy now, I can't think why you would be so bothered by someone else saying they are having sex. Are you happy with the amount of sex you are having now? Are you really happy with the amount of sex you had when you were younger? Did you feel pressured into having too much sex and it had a negative impact on your life? Forgive my speculation. It's just unusual for someone to need to criticise others and then point out that they are happy about something completely unprompted.

Interesting. Would you mind answering a few questions? How did 45 you and 25 her get together? Were there any negative responses from friends and family on either side? Any weird moments while out and about? How do you feel about your relatively older body compared to hers? Do you worry at all at 60 with her being 40 that she might leave you or be unfaithful? What do you think will happen to you at 70 or 80+? (Feel free to ignore any questions that you feel are too intrusive.)

Even if you're entering on a non-imm that gives you 90 days?

Women are so mercenary when it comes to relationships, I'm not sure the exact reasons matter. There's a good chance the girl would want a younger Thai guy if they could get one, but they aren't available to them so they probably tell themselves that they don't want them anyway. While the foreign guy would probably like to be with a hotter girl, but tells himself he's mature now and cares more about personality. (If you don't think people settle in most Western relationships, I've got a bridge to sell you.) As long as they're both happy, who cares? They both get something out of the relationship. Obviously if circumstances change and one leaves, they will be sad, but that could happen to anyone.

Could be be loss of face to either admit you are going through it and losing your youth/fertility, or it's a case of not wanting to look stupid for not knowing about it. Also, the Thai education system doesn't rally make people inquisitive.