BangkokReady

That's one of the things that floored me when I first went to Thailand. Absolutely stunning women sweeping the streets or cleaning hotels, and with pleasant personalities! It just wouldn't happen back home. I understand that I might like dark girls and they aren't considered the most beautiful here, but still. The only women I see back home in these menial roles are very unattractive or old.

Precisely. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who are ignorant and don't want to learn. These people view things ideologically and ignore facts that they don't like. Exactly, yes. I don't agree with everything he says, but he is clearly a smart guy with a pretty large depth of knowledge in his field. The trick is sticking to facts and spotting opinions when they are given. I've watched many of his lectures also. I know he became famous due to his political stance, but I try to view him like any academic figure, they are human too. Very interesting guy though.

So the Thai guy marries a woman of similar age and status to have the official marriage and children with to maintain face, then has a Mia Noi who is younger, hotter, but lower class; while the foreigner doesn't worry about class or need a high status woman to marry, have kids with or maintain face, so just marries the lower class woman half his age and is generally exclusive? Is that it?

I think it depends on the agreement and both parties should discuss it before they enter into a relationship. If the guy says "service me and take care of me until I die and you'll never have to worry about money again, you'll get everything I have", he does have a responsibility. If she's paid for the "work" at the time, then he doesn't have this responsibility.

It was. I'm reluctant to mention these people by name as often some online people react negatively to them because they discuss subjects that are surprisingly controversial. It's not uncommon for people to flip out if you start talking about evolutionary psychology and dating.

I was watching a YouTube video recently and someone mentioned they had a female friend who went to an academic event and found the guy organising/running the event to be incredibly attractive. She later met him again at another event, but this time he was not organising it. The second time she viewed him as being nothing special at all. Weird.

What other options do we have? Accept that we got caught doing something we knew was wrong and face the consequences?

I obviously can't rule out that any young girl I see with an older guy is a Mia Noi. I wonder if women factor this in to decision making. Marry an older guy, then he won't run off with a younger girl (or employ one wasting money that could be hers) when she gets older?

Certainly the female to male attraction works differently to male to female attraction. It's more about some form of provision for women, while for men it's more about fertility. Hence we don't see so many age-gap relationships where the man is much younger than the woman. Just not sure if it works as far as 50 & 70.

But what if you'd had a relationship for 30 years at that point and had a family together? Presumably they might then think differently?

Is that purely for money, or does the way they will be treated come into it also? Although I understand that most Thai girls prefer Thai men, I'm often surprised by this given how some Thai men behave. In other countries with similar conditions, foreign men, even a bit older, are seen as preferable not just due to money but also the way they will treat the girl. I think some Thai women are waking up to this fact, although it often seems to take some personal experience.

Either. "Let's say there's a 20 year age-gap."

Without the age gap, if it was 70 and 75 rather than 55 and 75, would you be any better taken care of? Or would it, in either scenario, be your money and your kids that are really the only ones looking out for you? Although I believe that part of the deal with a much older guy and a very young girl from the North East, is that she provides sex and companionship until he becomes very old, then would care for him until death and gets everything. The main difference is possibly not the care, so much as once you become decrepit, will your younger wife run off with a 50 something Thai man? I suppose if she's waiting for a payout, perhaps not.

It is what it is, I guess. I didn't really specify. (Although my rundown did start with 20-40.) I just wanted to get some answers re. age-gaps. I thought around 20ish years was a common one. I didn't think it mattered if it was retired with an age-gap or working in Thailand and an age-gap. Does it? What is the difference if the age-gap is 20ish years?

Who said retired? How would someone twenty years older than a twenty year old be retired? I guess he could be if he was super successful, but that would be a plus, I would imagine. ????

I feel like you didn't read the comment you are replying to at all. That isn't the type of girl I am talking about. Also we were talking about Thai and Thai in that exchange.

I'm curious what you consider to be "buying". Suppose a twenty something university educated girl is willing to marry a man twenty years older than her, so not a bar-girl, massive dowry, fee paid to the parents every month, type of deal. Perhaps she wants a boost in social status, a half-White baby, a husband with a higher paying job, perhaps she has heard that foreign guys are more supportive, like brown or fat girls ("ugly"), less likely to cheat, etc.. Is that still "buying a girl"? I realise we're a little off topic, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

The same for anyone really. She's not attractive to guys her own age. Money, power and status at a level that she otherwise could not get. She has a thing for older guys. Or she doesn't care about age and likes the older guy for whatever reason. ????‍♂️ The thing is, a single guy of any age will mostly look for someone in their twenties. And if they can find one, then they will attempt a relationship. If the woman is willing, Bob's your Uncle. I feel like it is more acceptable in Thailand than in the West, even with Thai and Thai. And, generally speaking, the guy always buys the girl, maybe the older guys just pay a little more. You must know that money is a very big factor in relationships in Thailand, right?

More uncommon than the West? Generally, sure, but I feel like it's more common and acceptable in Thailand. Possibly more acceptable in most of Asia. But isn't that more acceptable in Thailand that in the West?

This much I know.

I'm just spit balling about a 20 year age-gap. If you have a different idea of what might happen, could you explain?

Sad but true. Also, people generally don't feel the need to post about positive experiences, unless their ego is attached to the image Thailand has, then you get the "Thailand is great, what are you Thai bashers moaning about, go home if you don't like it." However, if something bad happens to someone, they generally want some validation and to be told they are in the right and the offending party is the bad guy. This is simply human nature. A typical positive Thai thing that happens to me is some random act of kindness or good manners, managing to have a conversation in broken English/Thai and Google translate, a pleasant interaction in a café or 7/11. Things I would hardly write a post about but still brighten my day.

So, Thailand is the land of large age-gap relationships. Not that they don't happen back home, but they are typically the reserve of the wealthy (where they get little judgement for some reason, because if the guy is rich and famous he can do what he wants without question). I think the reasons they are more common in Thailand are probably fairly clear. Money is a lot more of a factor in marriage, there is less judgement or stigma attached to an age-gap, older people are more respected in Thailand, differences in income levels make them more attractive, once women are divorced or have babies no Thai man wants them, abuse/violence, and so on. I don't really think there is much point getting into questions of morality. I think that is mostly addressed by the reasons laid out above. If everyone is OK with it, then what is the harm? (I realise there will always be someone who has a problem with it, but I guess if everyone is happy and consenting, who cares?) What I'm asking about here, is what happens when the man (who is normally going to be the older partner) gets very old? Let's say there's a 20 year age-gap. Not unusual in Thailand, but fairly uncommon back home. Certainly an amount of time where the difference in life stages is fairly pronounced. 20-40: The girl is obviously still pretty young, the man not so much, but they can still have fun, get married, have children, have a healthy amount of sex. (You can see the attraction of an older man, serious about a relationship, already established, etc..) 30-50: Probably a slight decline in sex, the woman is more mature, both getting on with raising kids and living a happy life, hopefully. 40-60: The man is probably looking a lot more like an "old man" now, maybe not too bad if he stays in shape, but father time waits for no man. The woman, having had children and maybe approaching, or in the throws of, the menopause is probably starting to look a little older now also. Even Asian women start to age a little. Hopefully, due to the changes that the woman has gone through, the sex is still satisfactory for both parties, things might have slowed down though. But then, after twenty years together and maybe a couple of kids, even if they were the same age things probably would have slowed down a fair amount. 50-70: The man has to be old now, right? Maybe no sex drive? Serious health problems? What about the woman? Still feeling young and frisky? Seeking out something with a younger guy on the side? Isn't there some quote about a crippled old guy, siting in his wheel chair, listening to his younger wife have sex with another man? Obviously the upshot of this is that it's typically OK for the man as he presumably has sex until he no longer wants it, yet the same might not be true for the woman. What about with just being together. A 20 and a 40 year old walking down the street hand in hand might raise a few eyebrows, but how about a 50 year old and a 70 year old? So, what do you think? These are just some random thoughts/concerns. The reality might be totally different for many, so if you think I have it wrong, please tell me. Any ideas, thoughts, disagreements, etc., welcomed. Just my ideas and would love to hear what other people think, or have experienced.

When did they cancel the day 5 test? Are they sure it isn't that?

Very sad and completely avoidable (presumably). You see so many people in Thailand riding along with the phone in one hand, scrolling away, no helmet either. A little bit of safety training, or perhaps a different attitude, could have prevented this.