I got one last year so I know exactly how the process works, I was back in the uk for a month, applied one day, received the card the following day and have the app on my phone.
"I got one last year so I know exactly how the process works, I was back in the uk"
There you go, then. Seems that you do not "know exactly" how the process works for non-UK residents in Thailand.
This is a thread about opening new UK bank accounts for non-UK residents, it is not about the easy process of opening a new UK bank account for a UK resident while the applicant is in the UK.