I understand. Anyway, man! I guess your choice fell on the little head. Or it might also be like that one is bigger than the ordinary one most people use for make their choices.
The only thing you manage here, is to sound very confused. As you say that you have much experience from other relationships, this must be a place you do not wish to put yourself in once again.
A a close to 50 year old women, still married, probably have kids, that are not being honest with you about her debts and economical situation. You say she is not a bargirl, but you met her in Patong on a tourist trip. Ok, what did, or does, she work with? Do you even know that? As she has reached the age of almost 50, one easily thinks she might own or possess something from that long life. Does she own farm land? Did she get a house from her parents, or did she build a house herself in her home village? Yeah, as you can see, the questions are piling up.
My advice is RUN! What you are doing here, is not walking into deep, or unknown, water as might be okay in some cases. You are running in to a mine field after a nuclear attack.