GammaGlobulin

There are, according to the BBC, 1.3 million Britons living in the US and Canada. 1.3 million Britons living in Australia. And some say there are about 40 thousand Britons in Thailand. Why does the OP asks why these UK expats do not all flock to Thailand? The answer should be obvious. America and Australia are colonies. Thailand is not a colony. Also, the food. Most guys from the UK love American food. Burger King, McDonald's, Chuck E. Cheese, and PepsiCo franchises are not big in Thailand. In addition, there is no way to get an authentic Louisiana Po-Boy in Thailand. Also, in America, the wearing of shorts, while walking around topless, at least for men, is not frowned upon. The American language and Australian language is much easier for a Briton to master, compared to learning how to properly pronounce the Thai language. Very few would-be newcomers from the UK have the stamina to learn a language having five tones and an abugida with 44 consonant symbols (Thai: พยัญชนะ, phayanchana), 16 vowel symbols (Thai: สระ, sara) that combine into at least 32 vowel forms and four tone Diacritics. But, in answer to why most men from the UK do not come to Thailand, I would have to say that they prefer Western culture, over Asian culture, and they must also prefer to remain in the UK, riding in chauffeur-driven Bentley motorcars while munching dainty sandwiches filled with cheese and chutney. It's really not so easy to uproot, and move to Asia, East Asia, or Southeast Asia, for 40 or 50 years, and never look back. Why make the effort if you do not have some real passion for life in Asia? To paraphrase an overly used Chinese idiom, Chengyu, no matter where you might go, the Moon is just as round. These days, our world continues to become ever flatter, while both girls and boys become rounder, scarfing American junk food, made from corn, on all seven continents. So, stay where you are because, you have an equally goor/poor chance of bagging a beautiful woman here as you might in the UK. What did you imagine? Did you think that beautiful, classy, educated Thai women would be attracted to you, even if women in your home country were not? Think again before you come here with unreasonable expectations, only to finally find yourself totally ignored by the class of women you had fantasized, and down in the dumps. Look in the mirror, my friends, and get ahold of yourselves, lest you arrive full of fairy-tale dreams, only to crash and burn, oh so tragically. But, if you have 3 million pounds, or more, in the banks of Switzerland, and you have a post-graduate degree, and if you love nothing but Thai food, and you can read Thai script, and you love both Thai culture and the sound of roosters in the mornings and afternoons, then, by all means, come here to buy a large plot of land, maybe grow coffee, become a character in a Somerset Maugham short story. Because, even with your millions of pounds, few guys from the West last as long as me. By the time I'm dead, my best guess is that I will have been here about 60+ years...Already going on 51 in Asia. So, my advice is this: Unless you love Asia, just come for a visit. But don't expect to see me here, because hanging out with tourists is something I never will do.

I think it's more of a syntax problem.

Or, please recall Elias' memorable exhortation, holding a dying man on the battlefield in Vietnam, with his hand covering his mouth to stop the screams, in the film, 'Platoon', "Take the Pain!". Admittedly, it's just my personal choice that I will never... a. Visit a chiropractor to be manipulated b. Have a massage given by somebody I don't know I would not even have a soapy massage given to me by a woman that I had not known and dated for at least a month. Best massages are provided by wives, in my opinion. I have had three. But I would never marry a masseuse for a bride. Simply because I would always be thinking about the many massages she did before she did unto me.

After carefully reading this topic, and a few of the comments, I would like to offer one possible explanation for overly enthusiastic, possibly painful, massages: I am speaking of the Passive-Aggressive masseuse. In fact, your account of unreasonably painful massages sounds to me like an excellent thesis topic for completion of either an MA or even a PhD program. In other words, to what extent does a minority of masseuses, either consciously or unconsciously, express their underlying feelings, in Passive-Aggressive behavior, while massaging their clients, some of whom they might secretly despise, most likely for irrational reasons. In order to raise this MA thesis topic up to the level of a PhD dissertation, then one might need to tweak it a bit. Nonetheless, I can easily see someone, such as me, being granted a PhD, just through thoroughly researching the topic, "Passive-Aggressive Behavior of the Abused Masseuse Directed at Foreign Clients, Attributable to the Generalization of Perception of The Foreigner". Please believe me that this dissertation topic title is NOT too long. And, if I were younger, I might choose to enter a thesis-only PhD program in Thailand to research and write an original dissertation on this topic. More to the point in replying to the OP, it is my opinion that, wherever massages are occurring, then you should not rule out the dynamic of Passive-Aggressive behavior anytime one begins to feel an inordinate amount of pain. And this dynamic, for sure, is both logical and understandable. It is only just too surprising to me that no one has yet mentioned this reasonable observation in the comments, so far. Astounding, even.

If one MUST be run down by a Jaguar, then, please Lord, let it be a Daimler.

Do you mean 'creepy' in the good sense, such as creepiness evoked by the novel 'Carrie', or do you mean creepy like Cujo?

As referred to in the above topic, I remarked that I have been missing the company of my barber during the past almost three years. Mostly, I miss her because I very much enjoyed chatting with her. I invariably used to say Hi when I daily passed her hair salon. She often wore these loose blouses, pleasantly unencumbered by straps and things. She was just a free spirit and a fun person to know. Nothing strange about it, really. However, sitting in her chair, I often thought of various varieties of fruit, such as melons. And then, while typing the topic, I recalled a song about melons, or was it about peaches... Turns out, the song that I had been unable to recall was a great tune by The Steve Miller Band. Maybe you know it. This song is not about melons. This song is about peaches. This song brings back fond memories of my sitting in the barber chair, when we were far freer than we are today. Now that my barber friend has sold her shop, and now that I have learned to cut hair, I may never see her again, although I think I might still have her LINE address. I will miss her peaches, too. She sometimes made fruit drinks in her blender. Great barber.

In reality, the only foolproof way for humans to achieve happiness, the only 'key' to happiness, necessarily must come to us through gene manipulation. We are now entering our Brave New World in which gene manipulation will soon become commonplace. This is why I mentioned CRISPR-Cas9 technology, in my earlier comment. It is entirely within the bounds of presently understood science that we will soon be able to manipulate genes in ways which alter our "set-point" of perceived happiness, either up or down. Gene manipulation for the purpose of augmenting feelings of happiness is entirely within the realm of what today's science tells us is possible. We all know that some people are just naturally happier than others. Very soon, we will be able to identify the cluster of genes responsible for optimism and happiness, and singing while working. Once identified, then these genes will easily become susceptible to manipulation. For example. Think of yourselves as ears of corn. No more, no less. We have long been using traditional techniques to select for various varieties of corn. Some corn is sweet, which we eat. And other varieties of corn are grown for cattle feed, or for industrial uses. Recently, two dudes got a Nobel, in record time, for their work on CRISPR-CAS9, and gene manipulation. One of these dudes was a girl, and fairly young. Now flash back to the film 'Children of the Corn'. And then put 2 and 2 together. We are just now entering a new age of what we had once considered to be science fiction. We can even manipulate genes in vitro. The drug envisioned by Huxley, Soma, is now so retro. We have already leapfrogged ahead of Huxley's greatest hopes for Mankind. In my view, I believe we can soon, within the next 15 years, expect to see a Happiness vaccine. To be more precise, we will have two vaccines. We will have one for happiness, and another vaccine for unhappiness. In other words, we will each have the ability to dial in any degree of happiness or unhappiness, according to our specific requirements. Some of us require unhappiness in order to function at our peak. We all love that tune about fruit hanging from poplar trees. A magnificent song such as this would never have been composed out of sheer happiness. Tortured souls have so much to offer us. Without seeing the unhappiness of others, then how would we happy people know if we were happy or sad? Happiness is just another of those relative terms signifying nothing. When the Happiness vaccine becomes readily available, maybe from Pfizer, how many doses do you think you will need? Six? If angst is an important factor contributing to the creative process, in some cases, will our culture survive the Happiness vaccine? Maybe just ask Huxley. Life would not be Life on Soma. As somebody, maybe Elias, said in the film, Platoon, "Take the pain." Such a happy tune.... Such a happy life. Such a great singer. Such a gift.

CRISPR-Cas9

Well, have you ever heard about Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog?

Speaking of the TRUE key to happiness, then this must be the Skinner Box, or the "Conditioning Chamber", in which a lab rat will press a key in order to get direct electrical stimulation to the reward centers of the brain. Electrical excitation of the brain causes immediate stimulation of the these reward/pleasure regions of the brain, and thus, you can consider this key in the "Conditioning Chamber" to be your ultimate key to happiness, IF you might be willing to have just two electrodes implanted in your brain. Think about it. Just two wires, connected from a battery directly to the pleasure centers of your brain, and then, you, too, could immediately receive happiness and pleasure beyond anything you have ever before experienced. This is not science fiction, my friends. You can experience this, too, if you find the right doctor, in the right country, where money talks. If you want happiness, instead of pure pleasure, there is no key. And, the understanding of this is key. Either accept that life is pain, mostly. Or, undergo minor surgery to receive jolts of pleasure at your touch of a key. Which choice is less appealing is a question not easily answered.

My Dearest Friends, We are now, suddenly, in a new world. We have crossed the Rubicon. And,... I am now, seemingly, feeling completely released from my past dependency on barbers. Praise the viral particle for this. The particle has inadvertently set us free in unanticipated ways. In fact, truth be told, I have now learned how to cut my hair with only a simple pair of scissors and a mirror; and the result is always JUST LIKE I LIKE IT... Not too long. Not too short. Not too hot, and not too cold….Think Goldilocks. If you want something done right, then do it yourself…your hair cutting, particularly. I will…NEVER…go back to the old ways of keeping my locks trimmed neatly. There is no need to hire someone to do what I can easily do myself. In OLDEN DAYS, in the 1960s, hair was much more important than it is today. Hair, then, equated to freedom from the establishment. Hair was a flag to be flown proudly. It recently occurred to me that, after watching so many barbers cut my hair, over many decades, that I could easily do what I had seen them do, and do it just as well. At the beginning, about a year ago, I faltered, not sure which hair to cut first. But then, when I got into it, the tufts began to fall, and the end result was not half bad. And not just not half bad, but now almost perfect. I’m NOT talking about NO buzz cut, baby…. as I have heard some guys discuss on this forum. I mean an almost perfect trim, front to back, but mostly in the front. This is why I shall never go back to the old ways. The only thing I worry about is what will all the barbers do, now that many of us, or dare I say most of us, have upped our game, and have already qualified ourselves as barbers, in our own right? This is not some sort of ‘joke topic’, my friends. I am writing this topic just after achieving my most perfect haircut, using only a simple mirror. And I ask myself: If I can cut my hair equally well, or even better than the random barber on any given soi, then why should I wait in line on a hot day, and pay the small amount of money (money is not the issue), not to mention the time it takes to find a barber that is open when needed, and waste the commuting time traveling to the barber, when I can do it myself, in the comfort of my own bathroom? I have been watching barbers cut my hair month after month, for almost three quarters of a century. And, after so many years of observation, who but an incompetant could not perform this simple grooming requirement on oneself? Anybody with a mirror can do it. Gradually, my skills have improved. And now, there is really no difference between my haircutting of my hair, and that of the barber’s efforts. My question is not only whether or not you have decided to continue cutting your own hair, now that you have learned how, but do we not also worry about our former barber friends. We miss them, and they miss us. Yet, we live in a new world these days. About two years ago, I spoke with my long-term barber, a woman in her 50s, with a bod that most obviously must have been super hot 30 years ago, concerning her plans. She told me that she intended to sell her barber shop/salon and chill out for the rest of her days, just doing what she pleased. I was relieved to hear this good news, and pleased that she had planned ahead for any eventuality. She is a smart barber. But, I wonder about the fate of some who may not have been as fortunate as she… Let me stop here and make this potentially-longer topic shorter. The KEY Question posed in this topic is: Do you plan to ever go back to the barber shop as regularly as you once did? In my case, the answer is no. And, I might not be the only one who has moved on. There must be a huge cohort of individuals just like me…no doubt. Are you one, too? Best regards, Globulin Note One: Having had no appointments with my barber for two years, I have sorely missed the closeness of a woman, and the scent of a woman leaning lightly against me, almost seductively. Up until two years ago, I had always returned to the same barber. In the past, this barberous contact was my only opportunity to have a woman touch me. Even now, after over two years, I can still feel her bod against mine. Her melons were ample and soft. I will always remember her for these. And, this is no small thing to do without. This is no joke, my friends. I have long become super sensitive to a woman’s touch, a result of my self-imposed chastity. (Please do not get me wrong: I have always remained very respectful while in her chair. And she has always been pleased to see me, on any occasion when we chanced to meet in passing, on the streets of our relatively small community.) Note Two, regarding success cutting my hair, and being pleased with the progress I am making: I can say that, after last night’s session in the bathroom with the mirror, just running my hand down the back of my head and neck, from crown to nape, the way my hair flows in back, it seems very much like a steep wooden Thai staircase. Yet, in all other respects, the hair looks great. Time is definitely on my side, and I will continue to improve. Finally: Two tunes, germane to this topic, are now running through my head, not to mention a third tune which mostly deals with melons. Save the melons tune for later, maybe. Havens sang this tune totally unprepared and unrehearsed, according to him. Sounds like freedom. One of these guys, while perpetually singing about almost cutting his hair, has long since lost most of his hair...such a pity. And, such irony....

Please keep in mind that the derivation of the term "farang" has taken many twists and turns over history. In my case, Being Here in Thailand, I consider myself a "faux farang", one embodying all the good qualities connoted by the term "farang", while, at the same time, having rid myself of all of the negative connotations associated with this word. I embrace the term, 'farang', but only according to my own interpretation of this term. You could probably spend a year investigating and documenting nuances of the term 'farang' as it has evolved over the decades. Maybe I will write a post about this, or start a topic about this, when and if I have enough time to research this topic, and do it justice. Meanwhile, in order to live in this world, we must all happily embrace change, and adapt accordingly. Regards, GloBOBulin Please Note: Over the years, I have noticed occasional confusion among people who first encounter the term 'farang'. Therefore, before becoming immersed in Thai life, or life anywhere around here, then, my considered advice for folks who might be curious about this term, is for these newcomers to read this Wikipedia submission, and you will be very glad you did: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farang#:~:text=Farang (Persian%3A فرنگ) is,Old French%3A "franc". This is good advice, at no cost to you.

OK. Here is a question of import... What is your opinion of the University of Liverpool? The reason I ask is that this fine old research institution was one of the first to jointly open a campus in Xian, China with Jiaotong University. In my opinion, it will be only this type of free exchange of information through academic institutions that might have any chance, no matter how slight, of saving organized human existence into the year 2099. Therefore, do you support such glorious efforts by this magnificent institution, long established in your most beloved city? If you do, then I firmly agree with you. More power to Liverpool.

I agree with you, wholeheartedly. I need maximum storage on my phone. Maybe I will up my storage to one TBytes of storage. Also, I have 15 (fifteen) TBytes in the cloud. This is actually a paltry sum, for me. My phone, no matter how fast, is ALWAYS too slow for me. Think of the future, if you live that long. Storage price keeps going down, although not as fast as we would wish. And, with 5G, soon we will be able to transfer 100 Gbytes of data from the cloud to our phones, in the blink of the eye. Most people, mistakenly, believe that the minimum for today will be sufficient for tomorrow. When I buy my next phone, I must buy something that will be able to handle my needs in the year 2029. 2029 is the year during which I plan to shuffle off this mortal coil. Therefore, I must now decide the best phone for me, knowing that this phone will, ultimately, be the last purchase I ever make from Samsung. I love my NOTE 4. Samsung really built a winner when the company designed and released this beauty. I have NOTHING BUT PRAISES to sing for Note 4. I just hope that my next important purchase from Samsung can match the reliability and greatness of the Note 4. Believe me when I tell you... As the Beetles once sang... Oh, Man, I DO love my beloved Note 4. It has been with me by my side, through thick and thin, and never ONCE let me down. I love you, Note 4. I will shout it from the rooftops, even. (Get it?) Or do I need to explain the reference, and apt analogy, to you who are younger?

Dear Friends, Tomorrow being the usual manic Sunday, there has to be a Sunday question of import, in place of, or in addition to, attending Church, listening to some guy spout a sermon. Everybody has a different way of worshipping. Some prefer idolatry, and some worship brown bodies. What thoughts might you have about this tune, this Sunday morning? Hold your heads up, while attending services in Pattaya on this Sunday? It ups to you for you to say something meaningful and enlightening. Enjoy your Scottish breakfasts this day. Or, a Big MacDonald's, something also Scottish, a junk-food snack after a sleepless night roaming around the soi of your most beloved place on Earth? Best to you, yours, and everybody. Hold your head up, if not too heavy, after such a workout, sometimes between the sheets. Sunday is a day of rest, thankfully. Regards, GlaBOBulin

My Dear Friends, I have met many women in my life, and I prefer, by far, women to men, of any level of intelligence. I would even go so far as to say that I prefer some less intelligent women to some smarter men, unless said men were both super smart, and also shared some feminine characteristics, traits important to me in my men friends. I am speaking about a man’s enjoyment and appreciation of his feminine side, such as, and for example, flower arranging, long walks, nurturance, empathy, tenderness, cooperativeness, warmth, and total lack of gym-type behavior such as snapping a towel at one’s best friend in the showers.. I am sure most of you guys here know that I am not just idly blowing gas only to hear myself speak. Because, please believe me, thinking of women, and how great they are, is central to my being. Nothing could be finer than thinking about women all day. And, regarding women of high IQs, may I say here that a woman’s higher IQ can even extend into the bedroom, where smart women seem to engage in more creative antics, compared to less intelligent girls. It’s like this: If you just want to date and marry a factory girl, one who’s got “stains all down her dress”, then maybe you will never be truly satisfied in the long term. I need to cut this short, I think. I have said my piece.. And now, I’m more at peace. Still, before I leave, I will leave you with this: Girls are great, Man. I love them Big Time, as Trump often says. But, I don’t take after Trump, no way, no how. I like nice girls. Best regards, Globobulin Note: Do you like girls smarter than you?

Dear Friends, Nostalgically speaking, Hawaii was once the epitome of romance and luxury, sort of an exotic dream for many, a place of pineapples and volcanoes and missionaries. These days, you can go anywhere you like by hopping on a jet plane. Therefore, why do you choose to live in Thailand rather than to live in Hawaii? Is it the present-day culture of America that causes you to steer clear of these magnificent volcanic islands? Or, is it the culture of Thailand and the SE Asian food that keeps you here in one of the longest countries, north to south, on Earth? Thailand, these days, is not the same as it once was, 50 years ago, and therefore, much of the allure of Thailand has become diluted due to ever-intruding influences from the West. If Thailand, as is true of other countries, is becoming evermore westernized, then why not just live in Hawaii, an equally exotic place, at one time, which has now become totally taken over by western culture? As you can see... The guys above are very western. BUT, in Hawaii, the food is terrible. By contrast, the food in Thailand is AMAZING! And so, my friends.... In my opinion, one should come to Thailand, instead of Hawaii, if one wishes to witness a still-vibrant culture with amazing food from all around the world, a gastronomic delight, and an amalgam of all possible flavors and spices. What is your opinion, comparing Hawaii to Thailand? Is it not like comparing Pablum to Stir-fried Pumpkin? Even the lowliest dish in Thailand is worth two conch-shell-blowing guys in Hawaii. If you love Thai food as much as I do, Then, leaving Thailand is unthinkable. There are many other reasons why Thailand is far better than Hawaii, except maybe for just a short island hop. What are they? Other than the weather? Regards, GammaGlobbulin (sp)