FriscoKid

I just flew back in 2 weeks ago. Did that online tosh. I filled in Bob Smith and Pasty Cornish for every question on the form. I put 86-47 as my passport number. Worked like a champ. I blazed through immigration. No questions asked. Didn't even have to show the QR code. Wais all around. Full VIP treatment.

Not to mention the pristine quality of all the old ones. Top notch!

Post links, model numbers, and photos to your preferred unit.

Any good?

I know, Bob, it's Benidorm. Fixed that.

Oh Bob, FFS, not this same, thread again that you've recycled more times already than a used condom. You're probably so pissed out of your head most of the time that you can't even remember you've posted this same topic at least 10 times already under four or five of your different AN aliases. At this point, your posts about Thailand are like reruns of a soap opera no one asked to watch, same script, slightly different whingeing. Visas! Scams! Strong baht! Earthquakes! Masked locals! You’ve turned existential despair into a predictable weekly series. Honestly, we get it, Thailand didn’t roll out the red carpet and give you a statue in your honor the last time you flew back in from Benidorm. Tragic. Meanwhile, you’re sat there in your sweaty, 20m² bachelor bunker behind the haze of Soi BuaKhao, live-streaming complaints into the void, convinced tourists are fleeing en masse to Phnom Penh, Saigon, and Flippers because someone at Suvarnabhumi overcharged you for a bottle of water back in 2016. If Thailand really is the flaming trash pile you say it is, Bob… why is it always the backdrop to your personal Shakespearean drama? At some point, mate, it’s not the country. It’s just you.

And back when "Bonking Bob" was in his Thai bonking prime, the cost of such adventures was so low that it was considered cruel not to take more than one. 😂

bob, glad you made it back down here from Bangkok. See you over on Soi 6 in about an hour. Oh, wait...

Was your recent circumcision painful, bob? Well, I hope at least that they didn't take off any extra. You weren't working with much to begin with. At least that's what I heard...

Truvada or Descovy.

Hi bob, are you gay available? Just asking for a friend. #NOHOMO

Go for it bob. Maybe he'll let you bum him on the first date.

So that online seller claims to sell medical cannabis, but yet they will sell any amount of it to anybody who wants to buy it purely for recreational use? Sounds reputable to me!

Ah, so you went for the cheaper option, the one who will be charging you less, makes sense. 👍🏼

And then you woke up and it was only a wet dream. 😂

I’ve moved on. I’m in Kobe now. But you’d rather sat there whinging in your mingling apartment behind a Bua Khao bar than grow a pair and move somewhere with proper food and women that don’t smell like Red Bull and regret.

But at least everything is so cheap and cheerful and there aren't any dodgy ripoffs, right Bob?

But at least they aren't lazy and fat, right?

Oh, but how about the service in Thailand, Bob? Their million dollar smiles? The cold beer? The burgers?

Needs more Rooskies, innit.

The definition of dull in Saigon? Slouched on a plastic stool in District 1, waiting for Bob to finish canoodling with a “freelancer” named Minh who’s got broader shoulders than both of us put together. About as exciting as a GrabBike tour of Ho Chi Minh City’s knockoff sneaker stalls during a power cut.

The absolute definition of dull in Thailand? Perched at a bar in Soi 6 while Bob’s upstairs trying to find the G-spot on a lady named Somchai, who’s got a five o’clock shadow that puts mine to shame. About as thrilling as a baht bus tour of Pattaya kebab shops, mid-monsoon, during low season.

All of Bob Smith's topics on Thailand, nearly as dull as a playlist of all of Trump's rallies on shuffle.

The Wire! Done!

For sure it's you, 100%