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This is a clip from the 1974 documentary "Animals are Beautiful People", a tongue in cheek look at various African animals. Well worth a watch and very easy to find on Pirate Bay.

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it's in the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent.

Who's "P" is silent?

It's a DOUBLE ENTENDRE and so has a double meaning. 'Up to you', which one you take. You can even take both at once if you want; we are quite broad minded on this thread.

I would venture to agree we think of women a LOT here.

It's the silent 'P' as in 'swimming pool'

Over rated nerd!

Spot on I can't think of anyone I found more annoying or less talented. Hope he's at peace, but glad he won't be making any more films.

There is a very, very long list of people more annoying and less talented. It's just increased by 2.

I was just about to reply and ask what was funny, and then I saw it. Took me a while though!

So is that some kind of recycling system then? Mr Grylls would be proud!

That was both lovely and funny. Thanks for sharing it, ravip.

If those sandbags are 15 metres by 4 metres, that's one heckuva big Volvo helping 3 giants to lay them.

Come on Robby, this is a page for jokes - not internet fiction masquerading as truth.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/reinwald.asp

- "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a ***** -- and therefore, unsafe."

Who censored out the word 'helicopter' to only 5 stars?

The powers of photoshop never cease to amaze me! Looks quite convincing.

There ar many autoparts shops along Sukhumvit.

The one you have the biggest chance of finding your part is located on the right side of sukhumvit in Naklua, at the third traffic lights when heading direction Laem Chabang.

Be aware that they have a double pricing policy though.

If you just keep on driving just around the bend there is a large second hand auto parts centre , no double pricing and very helpfull ,you cant miss it its a very large place with parts outside

Being in the market for an auto-spare or two, I just happened upon this thread. Didn't find the one jbrain mentioned, but I did find Claudius'. What a gem that is. I will disagree with him on one point - you can miss it, but only by being in the wrong lane and thinking "Oh S**t, that's the place I wanted". A quick next left turn later actually brings you back out right by its side.

An Ali-Baba's cave of goodies inside there for the DIY mechanic. Unfortunately they didn't have the part I was looking for from a scrappie, but a lad went into the side-rooms and came out with a brand new one of one of the parts I was after.

Thanks for the tip, Claudius.

What use would a scared pit bull be?

Someone else reads Jumbojoke dot com, I see .....

Punchline brought to you by Mrs. Malaprop.

(Google it if you don't understand)

Britain only 'donated' two million Pakistanis! I'm sure millions of true Brits feel we should at least double this not very generous gesture! The more the merrier I say

Apparently, the English government is waiting for a large earthquake somewhere near Glasgow. They'll be well-equipped to donate 2 million Jocks back.

My post counter has said 38 all night long, anyone know why that might be?

In case no-one else has explained it to you, you don't get credited for posts in the Jokes forum.

Some of these are quite funny, but do you know how hard it is to read things that are all in capitals? Why were only two written nicely?

I'm not sure I see your point. I've never seen any tourists/expats staging a photo like that either.

The only science I could find for durian was a rat study, showing no effect of durian on body temperature, but this is rather scanty evidence as humans aren't rats :

Some are, but that's beside the point!

Apparently he gets out of ICU next week.

Money Doesn'T Grow On Trees

Neither do capital letters, please use them sparingly. (joke - before anyone complains!!)

I bought Scottish pounds at 49.3, the Brit pounds was at 50.20.

Scottish pounds can be exchanged at most banks in England 1 for 1. It is legal tender but some people do not accept it, which is illegal.

Scottish pounds are equivalent in value to English ones. They are also legal tender - in Scotland. In England they are promissory notes, and as such can be rejected as payment for a debt.

Oh dear. Apparently you can make it up.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/cigarson.asp

Sorry to rain on your parade - but that one's been doing the rounds for years.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

It IS funny, and clever - if you remove the words 'actual' from the first sentence .....