bluesofa

On 3/21/2021 at 7:13 PM, fangless said:

A frustrated young lady heard that men with big feet also had big members, so when a tramp came to the door with the biggest shoes she'd ever seen he was invited inside. After wining and dining him, she then took him to bed.

The next morning, as he was leaving, she called out crossly,

 

 

"In future, try to wear shoes that fit you!"

He said, " I found the clown's shoes in a bin."

3 hours ago, SoilSpoil said:

Thats gonna be a lot of trains way and back. Also, how long does it take to pump the oil out of a ship, and then pump it back in?

Seems like a pipe dream to me. Nice consultancy fee though.

'how long does it take to pump the oil out of a ship, and then pump it back in?'

I looked it up on the TAT website, apparently it's no longer than ten minutes.

<For the hard-of-learning: The text above may contain traces of sarcasm>

19 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Power cuts are the norm here, other day power cut in the evening, locals all moaning about the farang home plenty of lights on, everybody else in darkness.

Wife and myself have a good laugh about it, we have 10 solar lights, sensor lights, spot lights, street light type , yet we are the only home here with solar, others moan but do nothing about it.

I bet they'll all be sitting there, asking each other when the power will come back on.

When we have a power outage, I wait for thirty minutes in case it returns, then I phone the PEA call centre on 1129. They're very helpful, rather than try to contact any local number.

Within a minute they can tell me if there's a major issue in the area, and the fact they have a repair crew on it.

Or if they aren't aware of anything, someone will be sent out in around an hour to investigate.

A very efficient service - but only only if people get of their rrr's to contact them.

argument

Dino

3 hours ago, webfact said:

weightlifting coach is charged and suspended

Too good to miss:

Fred

Vicious (Sid)

2 hours ago, smiggley said:

How do you get a handicapped sticker here in Thailand? 

I always thought it was just a sign in Thai: "Do you know who my father is?"

<For the hard-of-learning: The text above may contain traces of sarcasm>

hi-speed

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

looked at the gorgeous faces of my adorable young children and thought. 
 Rooster, you never had it so good!

'You've never had it so good' made popular by Harold Macmillan, (British Prime Minister from 1957- 1963), who obtained the phrase from a US political slogan

Although for some reason I can't imagine Mr McMillan's kids watching his wife dig out a verruca.

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

typing some absurdly tortuous pun for the edification of the forum or secretly mocking Thailand’s leaders with language right out of Viz’s “Top Tips” page.

The Top Tip I can always remember:
Don't waste thousands of pounds buying a customised car number plate. Simply spend fifty pounds and change your name by deed poll.
Yours,
Mr NJF355P

3 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Top hoot of the week was the Thai teacher who got a surprise through the post in the form of an unordered sex toy

'an unordered sex toy'    Does that mean it wasn't assembled - did it come from IKEA with instructions?

9 minutes ago, rooster59 said:

The governor said the BMA has also enhanced the landscapes of other canals,

While the photo looks good, I wonder if they successfully persuaded locals to stop throwing their rubbish into the canal due to its convenience?

2 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Yes Prayut reckons a solution will be announced in a few months, kick the Karen people out, end of story, no way will the Karen peoples interests be taken into account.

There's a phrase regarding lawyers in court: 'Never ask a witness a question unless you already know the answer.'

The same principle must apply here too: 'Never form a committee unless you know you can control the outcome.'

25 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Hope he is aware of the Penal codes about waving his putter around the greens  ????

Although I don't think he was preparing vegetables.

19 minutes ago, rooster59 said:

We Bond Together

Yes, but which one?   

2 hours ago, Damrongsak said:

I heard that Mr. Owl went off a few days back to learn how to harvest papayas in a proper fashion.  Any truth to the rumor?

That makes me want to ask if there's an 'improper fashion'?

cheese

Just now, FarFlungFalang said:

2 hours ago, voulez vous said:

Mr owl is not around for a while.

If he's not a "round" he must be a square or maybe a triangle or maybe an elliptoid!Possibly he's suffered and elliptic seizure whilst commenting.

A dead parrot impression: A polygon.