billd766

Oh really? I must introduce to my wife's parents someday.

I also live in Thailand and I have been married for nealry 13 years and I can honestly say in my case you are talking <deleted>. Each family is different in Thailand just like they are in the UK and elsewhere in the world. I have helped my wife's family out a few times and they have helped us out as well.

I live in the real world of Thailand not on a computer keyboard.

I suggest you slow down, take a deep breath and get real yourself.

Ok, I accept that your feet are in Thailand, but I am not sure where your head is -- sounds like it is in the clouds. No one, and certainly not me, ever said that every family (Thai or otherwise) is the same or has the same needs/requirements or could present a financial burden/responsibility on their child, who is also the wife of a western man, and that responsibility following onto him. If your spouse's maiden name happens to be Chearavanont, Yoovidhya, Sirivadhanabhakdi, Chirathivat, or Ratanarak (the families ranked by Forbes as the 5 wealthiest in Thailand) and you announced prior to your marriage that she should not expect you to support her parents (regardless of your wealth or income), you would likely have them rolling on the floor with laughter, followed by serious (and justifiable) questions as to your mental state. Read all of the relevant posts if you want to provide an intelligent/useful comment. The premise in the first post raising the issue and to which I was responding was that (a) the Thai mother-in-law is in need of support, (b ) the Thai spouse feels a responsibility and (c ) she does want to help her mother and is unable. The western male spouse is unwilling to help (and made it clear that he was not "a walking ATM" prior to their marriage) and that "is a real problem. [He doesn't] know what the solution is." I and others said that "the solution is obvious -- YOU (i.e., the western spouse)". With the exception of the refusal/unwillingness to provide any financial help to the parents of the Thai spouse, this is pretty much the case with the vast majority of Thai woman-western man marriages in Thailand (where you live, remember?), probably more than 75%, but, of course, there is the other 25%, which run the full range of possibilities. And even where support is needed and given, we are probably only talking about B2,000 to B3,000 per month, which isn't going to break the bank of most western men living in Thailand. Like it, believe it, or not, financial support is one of the major reasons (but not the only reason) that Thai women marry.

If your case doesn't fit the premise on which my comments were based, it is totally irrelevant (as is, I think, Transam's situation). My comments stand, and are correct for the basic premise on which they were made. That is not your case, at least not yet. So, I suggest you take your head out of the clouds. and get real yourself. Next............

If I can answer this, despite it being off topic ( I am the person to which Thailaw is referring ), my comment about not knowing the solution actually refers to the fact that the MIL will not leave the village, where there is no work for my wife, and not to our financial situation. In fact, if the MIL came to live with us, there would be no requirement for me to pay for anything other than what I already pay for.

Sorry if that was not clear.

I have sent you a PM as well.

To answer Thailaw first. My head is where it usually is, attached to the other end of my body from my feet. The way you write is in generalities and assuming every Thai family is the same though I notice in your reply you did separate them out. The majority of the farangs that I personally know of mostly living in the countryside as I do are quite happy to support their wife's family if necessary though like me many don't have the need to.

We used to send her Mum and dad a lot more than 2 or 3,000 baht a month as they are old and retired and get the oh so generous government of 500 baht EACH per month to live on.

thaibeachlovers

My MIL actually lives up here with us in a small house as we planned when building our house 8 years ago and she helps out where and when necessary. My FIL still lives down in Bang Na, Bangkok and keeps an eye on the rest of the family down there.

My wife used to have a small shop and food stall up here but closed it several years ago when she had more customers than bills that were paid. Now she gets rent for the land from a local farmer and also rent from an AIS base station as well.

...have a a full time bakery offering proper bread!

What kind of bread you are looking for? I order here sometimes, Finnish Rye Bread from Chiang Mai

http://www.anns-bake...om/index_en.htm

I get proper bread where I live. At least it is the kind of bread I like as I make it myself.

Nong why not make your own bread? There is a good shop on Koli Road if you go to the end of Vitte Thep roas, turn righ then right again onto Koli road and it is on the left side on the corner of the first road up.

At Verasu on Bangkok on Wireless road near the US embassy they do a lot of stuff including this which is out of stock at the moment.

http://www.verasu.com/product_detail.php?pid=966

To expand a bit more. I do 90 address reports here and will continue to do 90 day address reports as long as I live here, no matter how many years. Or decades. That kind of place can't really be your home in reality. You can decide to delude yourself that it is if it makes you happier.

Exactly Jingthing.

Many of the expat community here are totally deluded.

The fact is, until you're not living from one 12 moth visa to another, and you don't need to submit 90 day reports, own & operate your own business 100% and employ who you want, buy land, vote (if you really want to), be able to apply for and hold any job you are qualified for, come and go as you please, not be over-charged, don't need a work visa, get a lifetime DL, hold a Thai passport (as well as your bith country's passport) etc, etc...you can never really call this or any place HOME.

Far be it from me to disagree with you but I can call thailand of any other place home if I want and I don't need to ask anyones permission oddly enough.

If this is at odds with your opinion always remember that your opinion is simply that, just as my opinion is simply mine.

I have no interest in whether you agree with me or not as what you have written is your opinion.

I think Shakespeare hat it right in Henry the 6th.

Henry The Sixth, Part 2 Act 4, scene 2, 71–78

http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/lets-kill-all-lawyers

To me a home is not only a place you are welcome, a place you lay your head, a place you like. No, a home is a pleasant, cozy house you own, where you feel safe and secure. No one can take it from you (don't pick that apart with silly comments, you know what I mean).

Being married means you share things, 50-50. That's part of making a home. Not the bank account is in your name, the house in hers. That's a recipe for disaster. Yes, there are exceptions to that. Some of the "exceptions" from five years ago, the ones who swore they had it great, are just swearing now.

Which is why I'm always looking. Hopefully someday I'll find it. It's not here.

The bank account is in joint names, the house is in hers.

If we get divorced she gets the house.

When I was married before the bank accounts were in joint names and so was the house.

After the divorce the bank accounts were in single names and she had the house.

Whats the difference?

Rubbish. No whiskey from me. AND my mrs new that when we met.

Rubbish, my a@@! No one said anything about "whiskey" or that you or any farang with a Thai wife would be expected to provide whiskey (or Leo) to the in-laws. But wait until the "Mrs."'s mom or dad needs an operation that will save his/her life and costs a few thousand baht or is living in abject poverty and you have money in the bank and food in your fridge. Either you come up with the cash or you can (will) kiss the Mrs. "goodbye". All she knows (and needs to know) is that her parent(s) have a serious problem and you have the money to solve it. This is Thailand, not the UK, where there is a thriving (well, not so "thriving") welfare state to take care of aging parents, allowing children to absolve themselves of any/all responsibility. I'll bet that she also knew that you were a big, handsome stud when you met. Get real!

Oh really? I must introduce to my wife's parents someday.

I also live in Thailand and I have been married for nealry 13 years and I can honestly say in my case you are talking <deleted>. Each family is different in Thailand just like they are in the UK and elsewhere in the world. I have helped my wife's family out a few times and they have helped us out as well.

I live in the real world of Thailand not on a computer keyboard.

I suggest you slow down, take a deep breath and get real yourself.

What no Red Shirt supporters there saying look what the PTP has done for Ratree that the Democrats couldn't?

I have a Honda CB400 with a green book just taxed and insured in December which may possibly be available sometime in March.

The farang who had it before me had it for 18 months and the farang guy before him had it 5 years.

Forget it, this place carries too many negatives, just read about Somchai Kamnan Poh, today's news, disgusting really.

We can't stay longer than one year without hassle, thus as a revenge I leave every 5 months for one month, makes me feel better

I have stayed here for quite a few years without any hassle and for me revenge is a waste of time. I have far better things to do with my life here at home in Thailand.

Having read the topic all the way through the 150 posts I went back to read my post #4 once again.

Nothing has changed for me since I posted only 3 days ago.

As afar as I am concerned Thailand still IS MY home which is where my wife and family live and if I get kicked out and they stay it will STILL be my home and I will find a way to come back too.

All these Nation editorials are nice but the bottom line is that it is the old money that is to blame. The people protected by the likes of the Nation newspaper. Their sacred institutions are all involved. When judges are exposed on Youtube the Nation is the fist to shut up. When the army is corrupted to the bone to a level that they are not even able to capture even by chance or accident bombmakers they keep silent. When Rohingya are trafficked the Nation comes up with a bogus forensic expert with strange hair who claims that Rohingya were trained by extremist because she figured out with a bogus bombscanner that explosive residue was on their boats. All the actions of the Nation editors are focused on keeping the people in power who are in charge for 100 years and who have stolen everything you can think of.

The damage done by the Nation reporting is therefore even bigger than the money lost because of corruption. The media keep crooks were they are.

Sigh. Do you have ANY proof of what you have said?

If you do the make an appointment with the DSI who I am sure would love to know ALL about it just to add another hundred or so cases to the Democrats ever growing list.

I did hear a rumour that 80 years ago the power behind the power arranged for the Reichstag in Germany to be burnt down. Should I tell the DSI?

Ok, for over a week we have read various reports from the Nation and elsewhere concerning graft, corruption and illegal movements of money.

Ok, all well and good.

And now all that's needed is for the Thai authorities to start the appropriate legal and criminal law processes to finally rid Thailand of this cancer and imprison those responsible.

All that was already started in "earnest" Nineteen Months Ago as an "urgent" policy of the Yingluck government...

Urgent Policies to be Implemented in the First Year

Earnestly prevent and fight against corruption in the public sector by adhering to transparency and good governance which are universally accepted norms to ensure the effective use of resources for national development and true benefits to the nation;

amend laws with a view to preventing and fighting against corruption;

broaden the enforcement of legislation regarding prohibition of conflicts of interest to include persons who abuse power arising from their important and high positions without exception;

rigorously enforce law to deal with corruption by government officers;

strengthen morals, ethics and good governance of state personnel;

and, foster consciousness and values of society which uphold integrity and justice.

http://www.thailandtoday.org/node/509

Ah but that was only an "election" promise and not necessarily the real thing.

She has already had 3 cabinet reshuffles in less than 18 months.

ALL the Ministers in ALL the cabinets were handpicked and of the highest quailty available, or so we have been told.

I just realised that I managed to write that with a straight face and no hysterical laughter.

Quit while I am ahead.

I have really enjoyed this thread, the majority of those that have children later in life do not see having children as an issue but an ongoing enjoyble experience. Those who it would appear have not yet had the opportunuity to experience this situation attempt to 'envisage' the pitfalls and give mostly negative response, very interesting thread, puts me in mind of that well worn but exceptionally informative phrase......"You had to be there"

What you seem to forget is that we all have experience of having been children ourselves. Those of us that had a positive experience of being a child in a family will no doubt have a different opinion than those of us that had a bad family life.

What anyone considering having a child when old is how they would have felt if their father was over 60 when they were still at school. Children aren't pets and having children isn't just about yourself.

Speeaking from experience I felt then and still feel happy now about life. When my Dad was 60 I was 5 and he died 2 months before my 15th birthday. I didn't know any different and I didn't feel any different. Other Dad's could do things my Dad couldn't and vice versa. It is just a thing you live with. I was quite happy living with my Mum and Dad and now I have an 8 year old son it still isn't all about me and never has been.

It never ceases to amaze me how quick a lot of TV posters are to make up their minds on who is guilty and who is innocent before all of the facts are in. It's actually a bit disturbing.

What's disturbing about it ?

This is not a court and we are not Jurors. It is just an Internet forum

Gulp. You mean that this isn't real life.

Faints in shock/horror.

"KHAMPHAENG PHET – January 27, 2013 [PDN]; at 12 p.m., a report of a man being shot and injured "

"During questioning, Mr. Manoonsak said he had been sleeping in the bedroom on the third floor with his wife, whom he recently married. She was identified as Ms. Piyathida Singreuang, age 34, the owner of the restaurant downstairs".

Some questions of my learned friend m'lud.

1. Where were these people when this incident happened? Kamphaeng Phet province or Nakhon Sawan province?

2. Why were Mr Manoonsak and his wife in the sack at noon?

3. Why wasn't she cooking food downstairs in her restaurant?

From what I can read of the OP

1. The shooting happened in Nai Muang Khampaeng Phet which is in the provincial town/city of Khampaneg Phet province and the wounded Norwegian was taken to a hospital with better facilities in Nakhon Sawan 125 km south of Khampaeng Phet.

2. If it is a restaurant which only opens in the evenings and closes in the early hours of the morning, why wouldn't they still be in bed at noon?

3. See 2 above.

Does that answer your questions?

When I used to work night shifts depending on what time I went to bed I wouldn't get up until mid afternoon either.

Thank you for the clarification.

My pleasure.

I only know that much as I live 65km from Khampaeng Phet and my son goes to school there.

"KHAMPHAENG PHET – January 27, 2013 [PDN]; at 12 p.m., a report of a man being shot and injured "

"During questioning, Mr. Manoonsak said he had been sleeping in the bedroom on the third floor with his wife, whom he recently married. She was identified as Ms. Piyathida Singreuang, age 34, the owner of the restaurant downstairs".

Some questions of my learned friend m'lud.

1. Where were these people when this incident happened? Kamphaeng Phet province or Nakhon Sawan province?

2. Why were Mr Manoonsak and his wife in the sack at noon?

3. Why wasn't she cooking food downstairs in her restaurant?

From what I can read of the OP

1. The shooting happened in Nai Muang Khampaeng Phet which is in the provincial town/city of Khampaneg Phet province and the wounded Norwegian was taken to a hospital with better facilities in Nakhon Sawan 125 km south of Khampaeng Phet.

2. If it is a restaurant which only opens in the evenings and closes in the early hours of the morning, why wouldn't they still be in bed at noon?

3. See 2 above.

Does that answer your questions?

When I used to work night shifts depending on what time I went to bed I wouldn't get up until mid afternoon either.

Great meeting yesterday morning with the CMEC in Le Meridian where the guest speaker was H.M.Consul Michael Hancock who gave an excellent...first class... presentation on the workings of the Embassy and indeed also qualified the report regarding a new Hon Consul for Pattaya.

Should anyone and not just Brits get the opportunity to meet and discuss with him I would suggest you jump at the chance..

He won't come out to rural Thailand though there are a lot of Brits out here.

I have really enjoyed this thread, the majority of those that have children later in life do not see having children as an issue but an ongoing enjoyble experience. Those who it would appear have not yet had the opportunuity to experience this situation attempt to 'envisage' the pitfalls and give mostly negative response, very interesting thread, puts me in mind of that well worn but exceptionally informative phrase......"You had to be there"

You are correct says one who has been and still is there and thoroughly enjoying it.

Actually being dead is not really a problem to you though it may be to the rest of the family.

Not a problem but a worry... well that is if you fear death.. perhaps you don't... if so, i envy you. I enjoy life too much to not find the thought of it ending extremely depressing. Perhaps this is something you become more at ease with the older you get.

I used to worry when I was younger how awful it would be when I would be 40 or 50 and how my life would be more than half over. I passed those 2 points and got to 60 and looked back on my life and though how great it had been.

Then I thought to myself well you are only 60, you aren't dead nor anything approaching that yet so just get on and enjoy the rest of your life as you know that one day you are going to die and when it comes, it comes. You can't run away and hide. That was the year my son was born in Thailand and it has given me something else to look forward to every day.

I could have stayed single ot loosely married and been a bar hog all day every day as some people are but I don't have the time to waste doing that as there are too many other things I want to do in the next 20 years.

All I can say about dying is I hope I get a little notice and I go painlessly and quickly. If not then sh1t happens and I wil deal with it then.

It is Sunday and the family have all buggered off somewhere, I have done the laundry, ironed my sons school clothes for the week, tidied up the house a bit, written a bit more of my life story, cooked a traditional Sunday lunch of homemade bacon, sausage meat and a couple of fried eggs, gone online to TVF and I can relax for a bit.

Remember LAGAYMI

Life's As Good As You Make It

As many western families are now single mothers with children, being a dead/absent father doesn't appear to be a problem or worry for the future.

A worry perhaps for the father... the being dead bit i mean.

Actually being dead is not really a problem to you though it may be to the rest of the family.

If it were me Jim, I may have suggested to SWMBO that she has a rest and lie down in the back garden while I direct the trucks where to unload.

On the other hand if I did that she come up with a sence of humour failare which is not a pretty sight.

Sang Som, soda and ice is a good relaxing cure for me at any rate.

My advice to you would be dont listen to much to the strangers who dont know you on here. You would be silly to do so.

Sit down, write a pros and cons list, talk it through with your family and friends who know you for advice.

When it comes to something as personal as starting a new life, for gods sake dont take advice on here to seriously or personally please.

BTW, our half Thai baby is 1 month old now and she is gorgeous! They make the loveliest cutest kids. Its a great combination Thai/Western.

Good Luck!

This is probably the best advice I have read yet and that includes mine.

how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young ....

<deleted> post

i lost a parent young, nothing <deleted> about it

<deleted> post* ... kevvy

As for muythai2013 ... they are not related events ... sad events sure, and I'm sorry for your early loss ... but the OP's opening statement and what you wrote are not mutually exclusive events.

BTW ... my dad was in his 50's when I was born.

BOY ... AM I GLAD THAT HE MADE THAT DECISION

.

I know that feeling as my Mum was 40 and my Dad 55 when I was born.

Following along the lines of the fathers possible early death, I was 14 when my Dad died at 69, followed by becoming an orphan at 29 when my Mum died 15 years later.

I have a brother in Canada who will be 83 this year and if my first brother had lived more than 6 months I would have an 85 year old brother too.

When I did all my retirement planning back in 2002 the GBP was 72 THB and I planned on just me and my wife.

Now there is me, wife, son, MIL and nephew living here at 46.50 THB.

Plans change and you either live with and change also or give up, abandon your Thai family and just live for yourselves.

I know what I did and I can hold my head with pride anywhere.

It is Saturday afternoon, the sun is shining so go have a good day.

I am.

It's great to be alive and with the family.