thaibeachlovers

1 minute ago, AYJAYDEE said:

But then I knew what I was doing

I thought so too, but I didn't know the family trap, and found that out the hard way. Had we remained in Pattaya and not moved to the village, I'm certain we'd still be together.

4 minutes ago, AYJAYDEE said:

not true for everyone. 

Unfortunately, we'll never know the stats, and satisfied guys don't normally come on TVF to tell us how great their marriage is.

However, the divorce sub forum does tell us that a very large number of farangs end up getting the shaft.

1 minute ago, AYJAYDEE said:

my in laws are one of the highlights

I don't doubt you at all, but my in laws destroyed my marriage and kicked me out of the house so they could steal everything they could get their hands on.

8 hours ago, KhaoYai said:

as a very rough guide, if your girl is from a poor family expect to pay between 0 and 200,000 baht + gold. Middle class - 200,000 to 500,000 baht + gold.

Worth considering that if one is paying 200,000 plus, one could easily find a live in girlfriend for considerably less.

I want to know what one can expect to get back for one's "purchase", as that is all sin sod is- buying a wife. All that hooha about compensating the parents for raising the child is bunkum. Unless hiso they wouldn't pay anywhere near that much raising her.

For 200,000 thousand I could hire a maid and a live in lover for a long time, and don't forget that there are the ongoing expenses as well. If one is daft enough to GIVE the money ( and not get it back ) one is probably daft enough to be building her a house, them a house, buy cars all round, educate the relatives etc etc.

Far as I'm concerned, it's all BS and guys being led around by the small head because they lost their brain somewhere. I doubt any of us would be doing the same in our own country, so why here, just because she's young and lovely. Wise up guys. it's just a huge con job.

12 hours ago, idman said:

Would you pay a dowry to wed the woman you love in your country of birth??  Sod this dowry b.s. and please dont try and excuse this Thai practice as something a Farang has to do.  

EXCELLENT answer.

OP needs to make it clear from the start that he's not playing that game, or he'll be seen as a soft touch ever after.

If she demands that the OP give money, that's all she's after, regardless of the smile on the face of the tiger stalking the tethered goat.

18 minutes ago, The Fat Controller said:

not a good idea to piss off the future in-laws.

Doesn't matter if one has the sense to live far, far, far away from them, and don't ever let them stay in the same house as one lives in.

That was the thing that led to my divorce. We were happy till we lived where they could get their grasping hooks into her.

Just now, jackdd said:

My GF said i should pay 2 million THB, 50% back to us, 50% for her parents. I told her i won't pay anything and if she wants to present money at the wedding she can use her own money. Let's see how it goes...

A man with sense .

IMO the first mistake would be letting the intended beloved know that one even had a million baht of disposable money. If they won't marry you without knowing how much you have, they're only after the money.

OP, I strongly suggest you read all the topics on the TVF divorce subforum before leaping into marriage with a Thai woman to find out the things you would not otherwise discover till too late.

I wish someone had given me that advice before I got married.

NB I'm not saying that you shouldn't get married, as many do have very satisfactory marriages. Just be aware of the pitfalls, and don't believe anyone that says you HAVE to do something because it's Thai "culture", like paying sin sod ( dowry is when the girl's parents pay the bridegroom ).

6 minutes ago, The Fat Controller said:

The nay-sayers on here told me I was mad to put several million Baht on the table,

You would be very much in the minority of TVF posters then. Most of us will be lucky to see more than a million at one time, and certainly won't be giving that much to any in laws, no matter how hot and virginal their offspring.

47 minutes ago, ToddinChonburi said:

This is suppose to be old Thai culture.  You are not Thai !! 

I do not understand why Farang's fall for this scam. Because of social media - Facebook and Pantiff the word is out , get all the money you can from Farang.  Moms are now pushing there daughters to marry Farang and get house and pickup. Fools and there money.

I do not understand why Farang's fall for this scam.

Because farangs are getting led around by the small head, and lose their brains. Then they end up divorced and wondering where it all went wrong.

Yes, I know some of the expats on TVF marry hiso Chinese Thai virgins and get given loadsacash by their doting in laws, along with palatial mansions to live in, so you do not need to respond how we that got scammed are all wrong and there are wonderful Thai women out there. Frankly, I'm not interested in tales of village paradise where farangs live in bliss with the delightful family that love them more than their own.

14 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

Regardless, you would expect the family, rich or poor, to give your wife some land to build a house if you so choose.

How does that work if the family live in the city and don't have any land? Not everyone marries a farmer's daughter.

Besides, the absolutely worst thing the OP could do would be to live within a thousand km of the family. Thai families are best when far far far away, and rarely seen.

10 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

It also means that the bride's family must accept you into the family for better or worse.

I'm calling you on that. It's just not true. My "family" never accepted me once they knew I wasn't giving them any money. They spent their time working on her to divorce me, presumably so she could marry a real sucker that believes all the BS about having to support the family.

They got their wish re the divorce, but she's a bit past it as far as getting a farang ATM to marry her now, and is still single.

13 hours ago, maprao said:

Married before with kids pay nothing.

Then upto you.

You can pay from 30k to 10 million like the guy who married the guy the other day

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually, one doesn't have to "pay" anything at all, kids or not, married before or not. All I did was "wai" mother in law and give her money I got back, for her "face".

My entire marriage only cost the 20 baht or whatever the certificate cost ( plus the embassy fee and translation fee and certification fee at Chaeng Wattana, and travel expenses ), as I didn't have a wedding party at the village. However, I'd have ended up better off if I'd just got a village wedding and had a party. Lesson learned too late.

22 hours ago, mogandave said:

I do not think there is a limit on what cash you take out of the US.

If there is, where/when would you declare it?

One normally declares it when passing through emigration, and a customs officer comes with a form. I always obtained the form from a customs office prior to travelling to save time at the airport. 

Local customs will inform anyone asking as to local procedure. They are just a phone call away.

I checked this recently for my flight, but forgotten already. The information is on several web sites if you google, but as noted on another post, the amount allowed out of a different country may be less. However, most would allow any amount as long as declared if over the limit. I was always over the home country limit when travelling to Thailand and under the limit for LOS on arrival.

If you can get a local bank account, easiest to transfer bank to bank, though obviously there is a fee for doing so. Safer than carrying loadsacash though.

For those less mobile travelling by air to terminals with long distances to walk, the wheelchair option is an excellent solution. It's free ( though I was once asked for a "tip" ) and has the benefit of fast track past long immigration queues.

To get wheelchair assistance, it is the airline responsibility, so you have to request it with them.

Wheelchairs or buggy assistance is from check in to airplane or gate, and on arrival from plane to bag pickup.

1 minute ago, johng said:

There are public toilets but not free the ones in Trafalgar square where 20p if memory serves.
20p to "spend a penny" inflation !

30 p in train stations in London. Free outside London. I will be happy never to return to that overcrowded, expensive rat hole again in my life. They're even destroying the character of the place by building modern high rises that could be in Bkk.

I paid 2 pounds 50 p to use Starbucks toilet ( only for customers ) so 20 p would have been a great price.

Millions of tourists every year and they've closed most of the public toilets that I used 10 years ago. Disgusting, and shame on them.

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 1:04 PM, Dick Crank said:

or am I just dreaming and yearning for youth again and need to accept where I am and have the support structure in place? If I leave now it won't be easy to return again to my current situation here.

You are dreaming, unless you are really loaded. There are sod all facilities for disabled here, which is why wheelchairs are a rarity outside Walking St and shopping malls.

I won't be staying in LOS as I don't have the funds to pay for carers, and I want to get set up back in the homeland before I get too bad.

On ‎5‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 8:32 AM, speedybuffalo said:

marry a woman expecting a maid?

If we are paying for a wife, like many of us do in LOS, then it's fair enough to expect her to do something in return. After all, if we were paying for the sex they'd be prostitutes, and how many of us will admit to marrying prossies?

Given the predilection of humans to destroy everything they touch, perhaps they should be allowed to carry on unimpeded till they exterminate themselves in a tide of trash and pollution.

The planet will restore itself and perhaps come up with a better species in the future.

17 hours ago, lvr181 said:

Whew.............................and I thought that you were (from your "vigorous" comments) merely anti-capitalist.   

 

Nothing wrong with criticism, if you have an alternative solution. 

 

And your viable alternative solution to the problem is? 

 

 

In London, they are putting things in paper bags, and a plastic bag at the mini mart cost me 5 pence.

Unfortunately, places like Starbucks still use plastic cups for their expensive brown water ( I had to buy a cup of coffee to use the toilet as public toilets apparently no longer exist there ).

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 6:25 AM, Samui Bodoh said:

When I go to my local market, I have a plastic bag or two in my pocket.

 

The market ladies all know me and often point at me, telling their friends that "there is the Farang who brings his own bags!". I even get small discounts on occasion as the ladies say "you save me money".

 

Until my pulling a plastic bag out of my pocket or people bringing a cloth bag daily becomes the norm, Thailand (and not just Thailand) will continue to drown in an ugly sea of waste.

 

This problem will be around for a while as people's habits don't change quickly, but re-using a plastic bag several times is easy to do and will have a huge and immediate effect on the environment.

 

The problem is, as always, with people.

 

 

I too am the farang that brings my own bags to Big C, and from their comments no Thais do so.

At Rimping, the checkout lady asked if I wanted to put everything in my backpack, without me having to ask, so they are getting the idea, but apparently only farangs doing so.

Given mankind's attempts to destroy the planets ecosystem with over exploitation and pollution, humans may be following the dinosaurs into extinction, even without a meteor strike.

10 minutes ago, Thaidream said:

I am not debating the fact that the President has the legal right to end temporary protected status- I am indicating that since these people have been here for 20 years- and established close ties to America with jobs; mortgages and children in school- it would be cruel and inhumane to end their status.  Why do it?  What does America gain except a further loss of prestige in the World by going after people who are not a threat to America or taking away jobs from Americans.

 

Instead of going after the South Asians who are coming to America and taking jobs from Americans under the H1 Visa program- Trump goes after the most vulnerable.

 

I am well aware that the US Congress passes laws- but I am also aware that a President can formulate his own bill and ask the Congress to put it into the record- debate it and  see if it passes/

 

Not only is Donald Trump an incompetent President- he is also a poor human being without any real compassion for people.  If   any of the temporary protected classes actually formed a threat to security or jobs- I might give him a pass- but not in this case.   He's just being himself- a miserable human being and a piss poor  President.

Regardless of your personal opinion of POTUS, he is just carrying out a campaign promise ( something few presidents do- "if you like your Dr you can keep your Dr, if you like your plan, you can keep your plan" etc etc ).

The ball on this situation is entirely in Congress's court. If they care, they can pass a bill to keep the Hondurans in the US. That they haven't, says much about them.

BTW, why in a world where cruel and inhumane things happen every day in other countries is the US expected to be different? Who made them the world's saviour?

4 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

Nobody made them an underclass but themselves , as Oscar Wilde once said ,"we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars"

As one that actually lived and worked in the UK as part of the underclass, I disagree. The toffs are not going to share the power whatever they pretend to do.

The pathetic attempt they made to allow us to live in London by providing ( so called ) affordable accommodation for essential workers went by the board when they sold our ( expensive ) hospital accommodation to the rich to live in. The workers got the shaft ( as usual ).

Meanwhile, the consultants were getting rich by using NHS workers to staff their private cases.

People talk about corruption in Thailand, but they've got nothing on the English nobs.

On ‎5‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 6:48 PM, MajarTheLion said:

 

I agree. In fact, this is one of the things I liked about Trump for years. One of the other times he threatened to run for president, he brought up South Korea specifically. We provide tens of thousands of troops to help protect them from a paper tiger to their north- at our expense. On top of that, they get favorable trade deals. Time for them to pay up. My first preference is we just scale back most of our overseas deployments. After that, these people we protect need to start paying up one way or the other.

 

It will be fun once again seeing the white doves suddenly become hawks.

Agree. I'd love to see Europe having to provide an actual military to protect themselves. Any country doesn't want to front up with the goodies should be told "you are on your own".