Do what I did. Move far away from the village, in my case four hours away. Get married in Hong Kong (only £100). Do not invite any family and do not pay any dowry. It worked for me and if your wife wants to support the family let her work and get her own income to send money to the village. Whatever you give the family it will never be enough and if money does go to the family (your money) then have strict limits. A lump some dowry is not the way to go as this will be gone in no time.
From my own experience I did pay a dowry in my first relationship after that was gone so was my Thai wife.