StreetCowboy

We can be heroes I could be... You may ... As I said before, there is no point in speculation

Even when they've left the nest, they are still family, and we can rightly take pride in their achievements, even if they still decline to rejoin the Commonwealth.

For all that we might wish it otherwise, Australians are not like Paul Hogan, and, in my experience, those in Australia least so.

"Ruled by" The two nations were joined under James VI albeit unified later, for other reasons.

It's our way of getting back at the English - they can't understand us, and we don't understand them

Turn the sound off and lip read,

He said "Everyone trusts on you. Is that right?" "Depends"

Cardinals don't like to lose face

Back in the day … well, anyway, to cut a long story short, I thought “this could not get any worse” and I was completely wrong. Things can always get worse; much worse; suddenly. Knowing that, and your own close escape from horrific gross misfortune, will see you through life’s toughest gristle with pursed lips. You can search for “Always look on the bright side” yourself.

As with the Thai libel laws, truth is no excuse.

I think English is quite easy to learn; the pass mark is very low. Chinese, for example, is much harder. Most native Chinese take a few minutes of learning before they can talk to a stranger, which is one of two, ok, three frustrations when queuing, four frustrations when queuing in McDonalds in Hong Kong. The last is most obvious - the food is dreadful; and the third becomes obvious when you get your food and discover that all the “empty” tables have someone sat there reserving it for their friends in the queue. But before you start looking for a seat, before you start eating the polystyrene containers, first of all the guy in front has to exchange some pleasantries with the server to come to grips with one another’s’ tones. “Aye, they’ve got the hang of it - ‘cheeseburger and fries’” but no! Chinese people are interested in food - “is the same pickles in the cheeseburger as the quarter-pounder? What oil do you use for the fries? Can I have the bacon double cheese burger as a double bacon cheese burger?” Im normally so hungry and grumpy I sit down at any table and wolf it while their mates are still negotiating their sauces and soft drinks. And get up queasily, remembering why I stick to Chinese restaurants - you can get beer there

Some drink to remember, some drink to forget. It’s hard to forget your past, but it’s worse to forget your future.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. You still might not have been strong enough to survive a fourth bullet, though.

I can see why you might want to cut off your own foreskin, but God gave it to me, and He knows best.

You need to get out and live more. If you have that little to complaint about, you have spent too much time in a Gro-More box

I don’t think Soros needs my help.

Back in the day, we could identify with comic characters portraying the poorest members of our society, who were part of a fading way of life. Maybe, back in the day, old people didn't find Steptoe and Son as funny as their children and grandchildren did - not least because they did not have televisions. Top greenness, with the emphasis on reuse and recycling, by the way. Steptoe and Son, and the Wombles.

You dirty old man, you!

A lot of people say God exists only in people’s minds, and then pretend to be atheists.

It sounds like you only gave it one thought. What was your second thought?

I’ve given religion a second thought

That’s probably because he was frugal. I have friends who are frugal, but they’re still willing to push the boat out on a Sunday afternoon.

Farang Gweilos Mat Salehs

I thought most of the Jews in question were Germans. I think you mean “Some Germans persecuted their minority Jewish compatriots”; and Romany, and other minorities. But the most important part of that sentence is “some”. We might criticise the silent majority (or even the silent minority) but I have never been offered the choice of facing a firing squad for my support of a stranger, and I hope I am never given that opportunity.

The best part of great humour is it’s easy familiarity. You might think that 2022 humour is better, and in thirty years’ time there will be no-one that argues with you but know-nowts who have not even been born yet