chickenslegs

1 minute ago, happy chappie said:

 

I see a red light and two cars stopped at them.im my world red light means stop unless it's clear to turn left.he clearly went through a red light to make a u turn which would be illegal.

At that junction there is a filter arrow allowing the U-turn, or right turn into the RTN area. So it seems possible that the pickup had a green light.

Merry Christmas to all, and a happy New Year ...

People often forget the important religious aspect to Christmas ...

Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch" answers a scouser.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three scousers cram into the toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, on the return trip, the Americans decide to copy the scousers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the scousers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch" says a scouser.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a toilet and the three scousers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the scousers leaves his toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last night.
They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves.

After suffering depression for a long while, me and my wife decided to commit suicide together yesterday. Strangely enough, once she had killed herself I felt a lot better, so I thought... soldier on…

Guy walks into a pharmacy and says "can I have some viagra please?" Cashier says " I need some medical proof that you need it ". Guy says " will a photo of the missus do?

I've booked a table for valentines. The Mrs will be pissed off, she's shit at snooker.

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a loaf of bread, the birds were all over me.

I went out with a dyslexic girl last night. It was great, except she ended up cooking my socks…

During those long minutes waiting for TV pages to load, I have been spending my time browsing another Thailand based forum.

I nicked this from TD ... Follow the instructions.