Gazza

-I am tired of being complimented on how I "phuut Thai geng".  That means speak Thai very well for the Thai language challenged.

-

Yes , they always say that , yawn.........

That's right. When replying with "Nit Noi" if you can speak Thai.

Two syllables does not a linguist make?

Just arrived back from PNR.

Thai side had 3 Thais in front of me.

Cambodia visa office and then the stamping office, I was the only one there.

Back at Thai imm, one Thai in front of me just recieving back his passport.

Time taken from queueing at Thai imm to returning back at the office and receiving my passport, 11 mins.

If you don't like queues at Poipet, try somewhere else.

If you don't like one particular visa service, try someone else.

Forget to clarify. I did the run yesterday (15th) and arrived at PNR at 11:49am.

Spent the night in Chachangsao on return leg.

Congrats Tuky. Just when you thought were about to get over the horrors of baby poops, sight and smell, it'll all be in your face again soon.

If people don't like the whingers in Thailand then why don't THEY 'fack off back to their own countries'?

I've had to show people maps that were faxed to me by companies that I had appointments with. It didn't matter how much detail or how basic they were, the person I was showing it to would turn it this way and then turn it that way trying to decipher just what it was that they were looking at.

One company gave me a really good run around at one time by making a map upside down. ie the top was the south and the bottom was north.

Getting directions. Quite often I'll get lost on some backroads here and there and when I admit defeat and stuff the map away, I'll ask the gf to ask someone for directions. I can pick out most of the directions from what I overhear so I know I have to make so many left or right turns and to look for 'saam yaaks' or

'sii yaaks' or whatever.

It's almost guaranteed every time that at the first junction we come to I'll ask the gf for confirmation which way we were told to take. 'Mai ruu' or 'Luum' is the usual response I get. Yet I'll have picked up that we had to take a particular direction.

I think Thais possibly just try to memorise all the directions, were as I'll visualise each turn in my mind as I'm receiving the info.

Whenever possible, always ask a farang for directions.

Is this the smile scamp?

a good example.... see??? no cigar.... a cheap copy

What event was she in, nose picking?

If so then why couldn't she have picked a better one?

I've still yet to see the 'Shocker' finger gesture here in Thailand.

http://www.rotten.com/library/language/the-finger/shocker/

and yesterday i removed 4 balls

normal?

What is lucky enough to have four balls? A dog with two dicks?

Happened to me yesterday and on one thread today around 3pm. Can't remember the name of the threads, I just moved onto something else.

Met my wife in a bar 15 years ago. No regrets yet in all that time.

I put it down to being compatible...I like getting Hammered and she likes getting Nailed.

When I read the ocassional story of a typical Thai bus overturning due to turning sharply at speed, I would hate to share the road with top-heavy triple deckers.

Why is it that when we've just began learning to walk and talk we're told to sit down and shut up?

My wife bought me a good waffler last xmas and just been waiting for a good chance to use it.

There is a 'Rot-Fay-Faa' edition, in His Majesty's Name, released to improve efforts on international integration and cultural cohesion. It's often a much smaller and simpler game, often ending with more than one appeal to a bangkok taxi to eventually reach 'National Stadium', especially if playing by rushhour rules in which every other train is full.

The secret 'Soi Laselle Society' would have you believe much of that. They do tend to throw a lot of this kind of misinformation around to help keep their close-knit gaming community away from inquisitive outsiders. Who would then typically ask the usual questions of "How do I play this game?" or "I don't understand what is going on so it must be British" etc., etc.

I once stood in for the late great Albert Thistlethwaite of Mornington Crescent fame, and partook in attempting to reach Soi Laselle. Even though I was later brainwashed so as not to reveal what goes on within the 'SLS', I still however get flashbacks from my brief time spent playing. Personally I think the brainwashing was either more of a light rinse or they just simply didn't force enough beer down my throat. It could also partly be due to the fact that I have superior memory retention skills like that of a what-cha-ma-call-it.

Anyway, from what I can recall, the objective was to reach Soi Laselle (Sukhumvit Soi 105) using any transport available; subway, skytrain, motorcy, taxi meter, on foot, back of pick-up etc., which makes the game sound easy doesn't it? But it isn't. Believe me.

Unlike Mornington Crescent were you only have obscure rules (which to me, sound as though they’re totally fabricated), with Soi Laselle you have to contend with some of the following; corruption, lawlessness, bar-girls, the Ministry of Silly Laws (government/politics), traffic jams, flooding etc.etc.

But above all, you need to have an ‘all seeing eye’ that can foresee predicaments or events during another player’s move.

i.e. Player X makes a move from Victory Monument to Pratunam using the #13 aircon bus. Although Player X has made a perfectly legal and tactical move, what he didn’t foresee during the move but another player did, was that either the bus driver fell asleep at the wheel and crashed, injuring Player X and placing him in the nearest hospital, from where he then has to make his next move. Or, the bus while on route to Pratunam was impounded by the traffic police for excessive exhaust emissions and Player X then, had to seek other forms of transport to complete his move.

Another way to have stopped Player X from arriving at Pratunam would’ve been for another player to use a countermove that involves something simple like employing a hitman from Phetchaburi to shoot out the bus tyres. Simpler still, a player could’ve paid a bribe to the bus driver to drive off his scheduled route, thereby forcing Player X to travel in an opposite direction. Use of dirty tactical moves was commonplace.

Being able to foresee some of the Thai government’s silly laws before the general public become aware of them can be very beneficial to a player. Knowing for instance that a countrywide purchasing ban on brown shoe-laces between the hours of 9am and 3pm can stop another player’s move if the knowledge is used wisely. With this kind of knowledge though, there also comes great responsibility. So be careful.

I would like to divulge more about the ‘SLS’ but they’re closely monitoring my every move. So I’ll just leave you with this vital piece of informati

Derek therefore misses a turn and we return to Leicester Square.

I'm already at Leicester Square so in theory, I should be going back to Hounslow West. But I'm not. You wanna know why? OK I'll tell you why.

Because I'm going to use the 'Gazza's Winge Ploy'(GWP). A ploy which basically incorporates the spoken terms of 'I'm not moving', 'You can't make me.' and 'My dad is bigger than your dad.'

Bearing in mind that from personal childhood experiences, this is a one-time only ruling/excuse. Mis-use or multiple usage of the ploy can result in being sent to Coventry by other game participants (and we all know how far away that place is, don't we?)

The late great Albert Thistlethwaite was rumoured to have used this ploy to great effect as part of his Psyche Out Strategies back in the early 80's.

Sadly, it's been said that even on his deathbed he tried using the GWP on his Creator. That sure sounds like ol' obstinate Albert all right. Even with the last of his dying breath he was trying to counteract someone else's move.

RIP Albie.

Anyway, I'm staying put at Leicester Square while my Tactical Advisors study the latest moves.

Using the ancient 'Peruvian Gold Miners and Wheel Tappers Social Club's Virgin Sacrificing Christmas Handicap Rules' as found etched into a plinth located at the bottom of Lake Titicaca amid a shoal of ferocious man-eating piranhas, I do hereby incite part of the unfinished cryptic rule of;

"19 moves forward 1 move back,

Get off the Blue Vein and onto the Black.

Hold up high a virgin to the stars,

Then bend her over and................."

From Hounslow West that should place me just nicely at Leicester Square.

Thank You Dereklev, I was waiting for someone to find that ruling.

So, I hereby make my opening move to that of Hounslow West.

Eat my dust, losers.

ok I invoke the 2005 Surin FC Gnome law and you guys know what that means

Sorry Bronc, wrong game. This is 'Mornington Crescent'.

I think you're looking for the Thai version named 'Soi Laselle'.

You can avoid wearing out the filler cap by borrowing somebody elses motorbike

One shouldn't also forget the golden rule of always returning a MC with less fuel in the tank than when you first borrowed it.

Out of curiosity, what route to Aran/Poipet does JG take?

Bkk - Rangsit - Nakhon Nayok - Aran?

On no occassion ever should you adjust the mirrors to enable you to see traffic behind you.

They should be turned inwards at an angle for the appropiate use of notifying the rider as to when a facial zit is starting to form.

I shall perform a double-back to Bethnal Green (as we are adhering to the Greenham subtleties of '87) to flush out any would be professional players lurking on the forum..

Well, that puts me out of the game.

I didn't want to play anyway.

I'll just have to play Subbuteo all by myself then.

I agree with Gazza's explaination of the code but can you tell me what it means when they flash once to the left and once to the right.

I still haven't worked that on out.

The left and right flash code I've only seen while driving around Norway and Sweden. Usually after I had pulled over slightly to allow someone behind overtake me.

Here, I've seen a few times (always women surprisingly enough) flashing left and right or vice versa while trying to park. I assumed the driver simply didn't know their left from right.

There is a new IT mall type place thats not finished yet on Chang Wattana road just off expressway.

Probably the one your talking about.

Yes, a building that used to be Laksi Plaza on west side of Viphabadi Rangsit Rd. just past the Chaeng Wattana Rd.

But Laksi Plaza has been there for probably 20 years on the corner of the Vipa-Rangsit and Chaengwattana intersection.

Zeer Rangsit was completed and opened sometime in the early 90's.

They seem to put a large tree branch on the road

Yes and normally right across the motorcycle lane.

And when the obstacle is cleared the branch/oil can/large rock always remains.

Sometimes i am sure the driver ahead is doing some kind of semaphore with his indicators but i'm not up on the code.Is the left indicator flashing a sign not to overtake?

The vehicle in front may indicate left if they think someone behind them wishes to overtake. It tells you that the way ahead is clear of immediate oncoming traffic.

If you are edging out all the time trying to overtake the vehicle in front and they indicate right, it normally means that it's not safe to do so because of oncoming traffic.

Beware though, it's not always a case of telling you that it's ok to overtake or not. Sometimes they indicate when they themselves want to turn or overtake.

Just passed the junction where Phaholyothin and Vipawadee Roads merge is Zeer Street. Used to be a shopping mall but has changed over the last few years to be an IT mall.

Only things that are not prevelent are console games. PC games no problem.

I go there 3-4 times per week and never once had a tout grab me to buy porn or whatever. I'm quite able to that by myself.