richardb

I was going to buy a set of Christopher G Moor books off his website. I wondered if they are cheaper in a Thai bookshop. That said I can not recall his novels in Asia books or many of the bookshops I have been to i Thailand.

Richard

I recommend Mr Will a Thai tailor on Soi Six. I wear his suits and shirts for work.

Richard

On my last trip I saw a shopping centre thingy is being built there. High end retail etc. I would guess it is only a matter of time before the bulldozers move in and bye bye Soi Six.

Richard

is tan an angel of mercy?

if she is come on guys its just their job, what would you do if you had little education and little prospects for a good normal life.

west culture and east culture not same same.

in west many could care less what happens to their family. in east apparently not so.

by the way op, were you to save tan what would make you so different, she just sees you as a way to take care of family. im assuming you met her in her angel of mercy working bar(place)

Now there is the sound of a nail being hit squarely on the head. Well put Blizzard. I can not "save her" and am not that different.

And the consequences of Tan's love of her family are? It is not impossible that right now a fellow Brit is reading the visa section of this site and knowing Tan she will certainly get her visa first time. Tan has made her bargain She wants “to take care of family" So she is getting married. Does Mr. X fully appreciate the terms of the deal he has struck? Last time I chatted the internet girl that marriage did not seem to be that happy. Mr. X no doubt a decent chap is probably in love. Tan is not she is marrying "to take care family". I said in my OP that I like/d Tan but I can not/refuse to be with her. I think she likes me but aside from the way she lives her life I know deep down that her priority is her family. I do not trust her. If our interests co inside that's great but the moment her families interests diverge from mine it would likely be goodbye Richard. Perhaps I do Tan a disservice. She acts so well that maybe she will come to live the part. With love and affection from Mr. X and maybe a family the terms of the bargain may change. Mr. X will have the wife he dreams he has.

Perhaps also when I use the word disservice that is wrong also. Tan in her own way of thinking is doing the right thing the only thing. By her own definition she is a good girl.

Perhaps my OP is as much about my own insecurities in relationships as it is about my analysis of one aspect of certain Thai peoples thinking. That said it is uncomfortable to know that Tan will welcome me to her bed ( and I will not say no ) if I get to Thailand before her wedding and who knows what life holds when she is somewhat closer living in the UK.

Interesting views but my focus as much as anything was on what, I presume, must be the psychological impact ( or maybe there is none ) of doing everything for the family.

Thai children love their parents. This seems to be a universal truth I read time and time again in books on Thai culture. Time and time again on websites I read falangs bemoaning their lot; that they do not just have a girlfriend/wife/partner but seem to have taken on an entire clan of needy brothers, uncle’s cousins and parents. On one level the emotional life of a Thai seems to be a rich one. Love and respect given to parents, teachers etc. A rich language to describe a person’s heart. Complex strategies to ensure social harmony in a group and between individuals.

However I am becoming more and more convinced that the precepts and drivers that define much of Thai behavior are barking mad. Thinking back for a moment when discussing emotions with a Thai I do not think I have ever had a real meaningful conversation. Is this a sign of my shallowness or something else? I ask myself what I feel then what I want. I look to my means, my obligations to others, my own rights and needs. I consider consequences, cause and effect in the short term and in the long term. I weigh everything. I consider my actions. I analyze. By contrast from some Thais the only issue seems to be “I want to take care of my family". If there is something else going on I am never privy to it.

Take Tan (a made up name but a real person). I like/d Tan but due to the nature of her employment am not prepared to enter into a relationship with her. Consequently I am deemed untrustworthy. Tan may come round to my hotel leap under the covers of my bed ( fully clothed ) weep for three hours, fall asleep and in the morning act like nothing happened. She will deny anything happened and in the alternative say she will never speak of it with me. Any attempt by me to discuss her emotions or understand them is rebuffed ( I will get to the point about families in a minute ). Tan's employment centers on maximizing her families income by whatever means necessary. Now this could be a noble thing. My family help each other. However her family do not actually need help. They want better things, better motorbikes for the brothers for example. To me it is one thing to help family in need and another to provide luxury goods.

This weekend I received a text from Tan , a general how are you text. I text back telling Tan what I am doing. Tan texts back telling me she is getting married on such and such a date. Congratulations are in order or are they? " Are you happy? " I text. No answer so I dial her number. " Are you happy?". Tans answer " I want to take care of family ". The essential parts of the conversation go like this. "Well I will miss you....When you come Thailand....err you are getting married....Yes but will you be here before or after I marry... so you want to see me...up to you....what do you want..." No answer. I have absolutely no idea what is going through her head except that she will do anything to take care of her family. Family are number one. This is a big problem for me. I could possibly just possibly make a go of it with Tan if she came round to the thought that WE were number one but that is not going to happen ( yes I am conveniently ignoring the fact that in a short while she will be married ). Is Tan unique. I am not sure she is. Last month I was on MSM and a girl I had chatted to came on line. She told me that since we last chatted she had married and was living in England. She was worried and scared that her husband was drinking too much and they were rowing. And then that phrase again " I want take care of family".

Taking care of family is a good thing but in my world view there has to be balance. There are other factors that drive me.

Last weekend I took a short break with friends to the west coast of Ireland. After a day walking in the hills we popped into a little pub were people had gathered to play instruments. I noticed a really pretty girl near the bar. Trim , long dark curly hair maybe 25/26. If only I was 10 years younger I thought. I gave her a smile when I ordered our Guinness’s. A few rounds later well we got to chatting and enjoyed each others company. Later as we kissed in the village square. I know that for what ever reason she liked my company and my kiss it was not because I was potentially going to “take care of family".

I wonder what the families of Tan and my msn friend think. Are their brothers proud when they show of their new motorbike. Do the neighbors complement them on having such kind and devoted sisters?

It seems to me that this filial piety thing may have been a good thing in the past but is now a perversion of what it should be.

Is filial piety as universal as it seems to me to be? Is this concept modified at all by education and class? Can such learned behavior be unlearned.

Richard

This was posted on the Thai-UK site...Anyone heard of this story before???

Hopefully it's old news and there's been a happy ending...

RAZZ

RAZZ

what/where is this 'Thai-UK site' u refer to? is it a TV forum? and is there any thread on THAT post or a date it was posted?

looks bizarre 2 me.

maybe someone is 'fishing'?

www.thailand-uk.com

look in the forums

Dear All

I saw his on another forum which is perhaps less Knowledgeable than you guys. I did not think the answers he was getting were that great and somehow the TGF's problems struck a cord . Any advice for the chap I will be happy to forward it or direct him here.

I also thought it might be instructive to consider what happens if you make provision for your partner and the relatives try to do what it seems this lot are doing.

Richardb

Here is the Problem

Post 1

"Hi ,

Friend of mine TG in Hua Hin had her BF die in Thai, he had been living with her.

They had the Thai company set up with her at 51% and him 49%.

The house is in her name, but the land is in the company name.

The daughter of the deceased had the company name changed to her name.

The daughter took the cards to his bank accounts and cleaned them out.

Took the motor bike in his name and sold that also and run up phone bills and promised to pay but of course did not and the inevitable happened and the land line was cut off as the TG could not pay the bill as the bank accounts had been cleaned out.

Now the daughter is trying to force the TG to sell the house supposedly valued at supposedly 3 million baht.

First she tried the sell the house and the daughter will only take half, based on her track record would you trust this girl.

Now she is asking for 1 million for the land. The farang girl can afford a lawyer from the money from the bank accounts bike etc. She cleaned out a lot from the house also.

From my thnking, if the TG has 51% of the company surely she can just say no to the sale of the house.

Also if the daughter of the deceased wants to sell the land to the TG, i would presume that the TG would onlyu have to pay the current land value, which from what i am told is only 1 or 200,000 baht nowhere near 1 million baht that the farang wants.

The TG has been told that it will cost her at least 50K baht to be represented. Is this cost fare for what is charged in Thai.

I get the feeling that the farang knows that the TG can not afford good legal representation, as she took all of the cash etc and the farang's lawyers are playing the bluff and trying to get the TG to either sell the house or get a loan against the house for 1 mil baht.

Any suggestions on where the TG stands legally and is the 50K baht to act on her behalf reasonable?

Not that it matters but this girl is not an Ex BG. She is 46 and i do not think that she could afford a 1 mil mortgage over the house and does not want to sell it. Don't blame her i have seen it and it is nice.

Thanks,

Regards Sprock

Post 2

"hanks for the suggestions, some good things for me to ponder in there.

Recent update, the daughter had the company name put into her name through a lawyer in Bkk. I think the farang daughter and her lawyer worked a lot on bluff knowing that the TG could not afford a lawyer. The TG gave the bank cards to the daughter thinking that she would not take everything.

Recently TG was told her BF used to pay taxes under the company but the daughter has not bothered to pay any taxes and under Thai law with farang companies the company is null and void if taxes aren't payed thus she will have no claim over the land at all? Does this sound feasible?

The TG was good enough for the farang to live with and he apparently put the house in her name in the final days of his life. If he put the house in her name and his directions were to be cremated as a Buddhist in Thai as opposed to being sent home i would say he had made his decisions and stuff his previous family. The daughter is an adult and not a child so in my opinion she like most of us id on her own for money, but that is my opinion only.

Again in my opinion, i think that the daughter and the farang's brother who was there at the same time, hit her hard whilst she was in grief and cleaned her out. The TG not knowing any better and not wanting to put the family off side obliged. As she said to me she had just lost the man she lived with and loved and didn't really have any time for worrying about material things. She may regret that now.

The daughter and his brother had never lived there only showing up after he died.

I agree and have advised the TG not to let the daughter in the house again.

Will keep you informed as i plan on going there in about 7 weeks and will try to prearrange a legal appointment and get the good guff on where she/TG stands.

By the way there is nothing in it for me and i am not asking for any part of anything from the TG, and do not want anything from her materially.

Thanks and let you know if i find out any more.

Sprock."

Dear Kerry , well why did you not just say so in the first place.

. She is a nice lady and she is the one who disarmed my GF when she was attacking me with the cleaver. She threw her little arms up and protected me like a mother

Due to the nature of my work I am forensically inclined to take great note of the words and language people use.

little arms.....like a mother.....

Kerry get real little arms can hold meat cleavers. Good moms don't take their daughters out to .....falangs. Your flat mate is not your mom.

ps If you think it is normal to watch your partner pick up short times it is not. Are you getting addicted to the highs and lows of this affair. Are you getting to enjoy the adreneline rush when she comes home. Will she be in a good mood or not? Are you beginning to enjoy the mind games you are playing with each other. The he arguments the making up. Her hurt at your comments and actions. A wise man once told me " you can lead a horse to water but you cannt stop him pissing in it "

I am sure there are many here that are wiser than I. Is it really that easy to have me put in jail for 90 days which might be a death sentence for me?

Sorry to post twice but Kerry jail is not the issue. You cannot be held to ransom blackmailed threatened and harmed by anyone. Sorry its all gone bad but do not get run out of Thailand cause of one psycho witch. Take your life back. If you can not confont her find someone who can. Can not one of the tourist police members help this guy.

Richard

Here's what I would do, and I'm not saying this is necessarily good advice for you.

I would wait until she goes out tonight. Then I would go out myself and pick up a woman. I would make sure that woman was in bed with me when she got home.

Sir you have bigger conjoles than I do.

Have you ever tried this tactic

Richard

Kerry ,

Read your post and take a breath. You need to make a paradigm shift in your behaviour. Good bye old Kerry hello new Kerry. You are the victim of abuse and have fallen into a pattern of abusive behaviour you would never have tolerated in the past. I note in a previous post you have military connections in Thailand going back 35 years. Are you e-service? Would you have tolerated one of your unit kicking you in the balls and flushing your head down the toilet. hel_l NO. I agree that as a general principle I do not hit women but if one goes at me with a cleaver?

Mate this is not normal. Find the old you then get out or kick out. hel_l it might even be payback time.

Richard

Just located the other board. Sorry but it is a load of b....s..t never spoken to the manager of Angelwitch. My " admission" is a lie.

I don't know if it's allready writen somewhere here, so I copy this from another board. Very interesting outcome. I personaly hope RichardB gets banned from TV. We don't need Members like him.

Your moderation is appreciated . The threats of violence are coming thick and fast this rainy London morning.

Yours soon to be "falling" from a high balcony Richard

I don't know if it's allready writen somewhere here, so I copy this from another board. Very interesting outcome. I personaly hope RichardB gets banned from TV. We don't need Members like him.

The manager of Angelwitch Bangkok advised me by PM on another board that the guy who accused the Angelwitch Pattaya girl of crying rape has admitted that this was not the case. In fairness to AW and the girl, this needed to be posted in the same forum where the accusation was posted. The following is what Dave allowed me to post.

QUOTE

This incident has come to a conclusion, as the farang in question admitted he was wrong. Please state that "Dave The Rave" says in his 20 years experience of Thailand, that Bargirls are easy targets and sometimes do get very unfair criticisism. Ironically, it is never the fault of the farang in many tiny minds, but always the fault of the Thai person. On many occasions I have witnessed farangs being way out of order, but being so drunk or "high" they are never wrong. No wonder some of these farang men are so lonely, they must be hated by Western women.

In conclusion, if I were this individual I would be ashaimed to look into the mirror after the false accusations that this man made against an innocent Thai woman. THREE WORDS - "Get A Life!"

So which board was that on ???

I am not in the habit of making false accusations.

Richard

Cheers the map is handy.

Richard

I would like to visit the Camillian Center tonight the kids will be having their Chiristmas celebrations when they get back from School

The adress is 1/1 Soi Kiri Huae Pong Rayong 21150.

Do you thing it is doable to hire a moped to get there and if so could anyone please give me directions from Pattaya. Alternatively should I hire a Taxi . I am not much used to biking in Thailand at night.

Thanks Richard

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cultural learnings for make benefit glorious nation of England .

I am putting all this behind me. My view is set out so are the girls. Well fresh from my new learnings of the Thai phrase "Bai Teeow" and the fact that you pay for it or else I am on the town again.

In any case I have a new Tillak. She is sooo different from all the other Thai girls I have met. Trully! As I looked up at her ( she is 6ft 1 ) I felt a tenderness I have not felt in years. Her name is Lola she was a show girl but at the moment she is working in an establishment called Jennys Star bar in walking street to pay her tuition through medical school. ( she seems quite up on medical procedures) . That we have so much i common was clear from the start. Spotting a crumpled paket of malboro lights in my top pocket Lola imediatelly informed me she is an avid smoker. ( a 20 a day girl ) So refreshing to find a girl who likes a good drag. Taking a seat I sipped my beer and Lola necked a breezer with her left hand whilst her right hand nonchelantly played with my nether regions. ( Shakiras the hips dont lie will always be our song ). Though I felt my libido rising due to her by now two handed ministrations I now know that such behaviour is mere playfullness the romantic little minx. I had to retire swiftly for a cold shower but we have an assignation at midnight. Moonlight a sea breeze romance is in the air. We are meeting beneath the forth palm tree on the right on beach road. If you are passing that way tonight I would appreciate youir gestures of support. A cry of ITS BEHINED YOU might be apprioriate.

Richard

Well in the spirit of fair reporting there has been a responce from Management

Taken from Pattaya Secrets

""I talked to Koi last night and this is her and Noi's details of what happened. They said the man had agreed to take them out "Bai Teeow" (out for play) and not for sex. Noi went home but then Koi decided to stay with him and go back with him to the hotel as he hadnt paid her yet. When he took a shower she waited and when he came out he wanted sex. She reminded him that this was not the deal and to please pay her. He got upset and refused. She felt very scared and in her version she told him that if he wanted a problem she would call the police. Rape was never mentioned. (This is where the miscommunication took place). He paid her 1,000baht (not 3,000) and she left. IF anyone knows this Richardb and can vouche for him then I might take his story into consideration, otherwise it seems like he embellished it a little to make it seem more dramatic for him. Koi has been a good employee and we have never had this problem before. She has gone with many a customer. She said that she is not angry at him, she just wanted to go home but she felt that he wouldnt let her. Maybe she really did feel threatened? I dont know, I wasnt there. But because I dont know this guy at all, I am going to have to side this time with the girl. Also, if you take a girl out with you, it is customary to pay her, even if you agreed not to have sex. I dont make the rules, I just explain them."

A cultural misunderstanding it seems. I am enrolling on a cultural and gender sensitivity course.

Bangkok is nice toodle pip

All he had to do was start talking, and i guarantee she would have ran out of that room pronto. Would have saved him some money if he learned to harness this longwinded ability

Nice one. it is a great relief to me that my years at law school were not wasted

Mbai Pen Rai. Today was another day and last night was another night. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. In the hot ( this is LOS ) light of day I do look a bit of a prat. The scene in my room would have made an interesting candid camera moment! In several years of traveling to Pattaya and other places in Thailand I have never had less than a wonderful time and been treated with well ( including the ladies ) . I will have a word with the management. As one poster said if she did not want to be intimate that was not a problem ( though there was enough squeezing of my nether regions in the club to lead me to believe differently at the time ). The problem was the later threat. Seeing the management is not my priority I am on holiday. As for getting some kind of refund or compensation as has been suggested I am not interested. If offered I will ask that a donation be made to the Camillian Center ( HIV kids in Rayong ).

May I also offer a vote of thanks to the Tourist Police volunteers and medics who work at the end of walking street. Thanks for the advice.

Toodle pip all dusk descends. A beer and a game of pool awaits. Some spicy seafood will soon be sizzling and so will I if those cuties on soi 8 get hold of me. Oh yes, ATM still works.

Richard

I have been in Pattaya a few days now last night me and my friend went to Angel Witch off walking street We both had a beer etc a couple of girls came over we got them a drink , we brought some pingpong balls to throw on the stage. I gave the girl siting with me a tip toshow my friend how the girls sail down the high poles there. The two girls we were sitting with went off to dance and as it was not that busy a few of the serving girls were chatting tous. I was having a real laugh with two Noi and Koi ( 301 ) I got them drinks and a few other serving staff. The Go Go girls came back from dancing and the one I was with sugesseted I pay her bar fine. I said no as we wanted to go a few places. She sugested I pay it now and coul come back later. I said no as I really fancied Koi the serving girl. We left and a while later I came back alone leaving my friend at a beer bar. I got a beer and Koi and Noi came over. I asked Koi if she wanted to go off with me and she said yes. Noi asked if I would pay her barfine . We joked about how I samll falang no power two ladies etc but in the end I agreed on the basis I would take them both for a drink but it was Koi that would be comming back ( to hotel ) with me. We left but Noi said she wanted to go straight home. I was dissapointed but hey up to her. I took Koi to The Blues Factory. I had a beer and she had a Breezer. The show was good and I wanted to stay for another beer. I asked Koi what she wanted to do she wanted to go to my hotel straight away. We got a Baht bus to my hotel and checked in. In my room I had a shower and came out into the room and Koi said that she would have to go in a few hours as she was going to college. I was disapointed but made light of that and praised her for continuing her education. She then said that she was not going to have sex as she had a boyfriend from America. I was a bit bemused as I was standing in a Towel but smiled and made light of that. I said if she ever left her american boyfriend I was first in the que to date her as she was so cute and clever. We joked for a few minutes then she asked me how much I was going to give her. I said I could not understand why she wanted money. I had brought her drinks bafined her and her friend taken her to the Blues facory etc. She started getting pretty irrate saying that was my problem I should have asked her ciecumstances before paying her bar fine. I thought that I would be very calm and said up to her what she did but I was not giving her cash and was prepared to stand there all night if she did not leave. Things took a turn for the worse. She threatened to get me in big trouble with the police. Big trouble. She intimated what the police think of men who harm thai women . She did not say the word rape but that is what she meant. I went into a serious panic. I had done nothing. I thought my priority was to get her out of the room in case she headbutted the wall or somithing to hurt herself to make it look like I had done something. I threw my clothes on and we negotiated 3000 for her to go but I insisted I would only give her the money at the foye of the hotel. We left she left the hotel I gave her the money and as soon as she was out of sight I told reception a garbled version of this. Reception have her id details. I was litteraly shaking. I then went to the bar opposite and got hammered.

I want to go to the Tourist Police but do I have any case. It is not the money it is the threat she made to me. That was not right and also I guess if I am not the first to be led on by her I am unlikely to be the last.

Replies in the next few hours would be appreciated as its already late ion the afternoon

Richard

ps I have a thai sim card

Dear all preparations are well in hand.

I should add this is not a blokes only event your other halves are more than welcome

Richard

Last year we had the mighty Drunkathalon

Many of you will remember the event from last year was to support the Camillian Center in Rayong a small oasis of calm to look after children living with HIV http://www.camillian-rayong.org/ . Last year the event was held in memory of a dear friend of mine. ( http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=44144 )

Many of you will also remember Noel Thomas of this Board who sadly passed away last month. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=93381.

Noel in fact was a tireless campaigner and supporter of the Center anonymously with no fuss or fanfare. Enjoying all that Pattaya has to offer he strove to help the children there.

This year the Drunkathalon is renamed The Jaidee Classic. And more particularly this year the Noel Thomas Jaidee Classic.

The event.

Teams of four, individuals can still enter and they can be assigned to a team on the day.

This is to make the whole day more fun, with a bit of team spirit and no doubt a lot of heckling once the beer starts taking its desired effect.

The order of proceedings this year is:

Golf:

Thai Royal Navy 9 hole course. The teams we can now play 9 holes of scramble, or four ball better ball I think is the correct term, again much more fun and the novices stand just as much chance of winning as the low handicappers.

Bang Saray Club for lunch ( pretty nice its in the Navy’s private beach area lovely teak building with a sea breeze and tasty food),

Bowling

Soi Zero (near Big C) Each entrant plays two games and submits the best score to be totaled for the team.

Pool

Caddy Shack Soi 17 for the pool and piss-up

Each team nominates two members to play in doubles. This means you can be crap at pool and still win!..........providing your good players are not too inebriated by this stage

The entrance fee

Instead of the usual 2,000 baht and you pay for the golf and bowling, this year its 1,800 baht inclusive. An absolute bargain so let’s see some names.

A number of bars and businesses are entering teams and offering prizes for a raffle. Cups will be presented to the winners ( best women’s team, worst tee shot etc ). The emphasis of the whole event is a light hearted social occasion where the winners are not capable of walking a straight line!

Pm me for details or go directly to Bahtbus.com

Richard

Yes good luck and see you in a few weeks

Richard

Oh I don't know they look quite peaceful all snuggled up. Almost a shame to wake the fine gentlemen.