ballpoint

Make sure they're real myths, and not boyth in disguise.

I got the idea from another thread on here, in the mobile devices subforum. They have an online ordering section, where you can supposedly change the country of delivery, but I can't get any other choice than Australia. I'll be going there shortly, so I'll pick up one at a branch there. $5 to buy it, including credit, so it's basically free. That lasts 60 days, then can top it up with $15, $25 or $35 each year. SMS messages are free to receive overseas. SIM Only Plans - SIM Card Only Mobile Plans | ALDImobile

Can get an Aldi SIM and top it up every year for $15.

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to buy some cups.

A postman came to my door and said, Is this letter for you? The name is smudged I said, No, my name is Bob.

So, Auld Alec is working in the sawmill with his new assistant, Billy. One day Billy slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Auld Alec quickly wraps the wound in a towel and puts the severed limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Billy to the local hospital. Next day, Alec goes to the hospital and asks after Billy. The nurse says, "Oh he’s out in rehab exercising." Alec can’t believe it, but there’s Billy out the back exercising his now reattached arm. Three days later, Billy is back at work in the saw mill. A couple of days go by, and then Billy slips and severs his leg on another big saw thingy. Auld Alec wraps the wound in a towel, puts the severed limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital again. Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He’s out in the rehab again exercising." Sure enough, there’s Billy out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Billy comes back to work four days later fully recovered. But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and this time severs his head. Wearily Auld Alec wraps the wound in a towel, puts the head in a bag and transports it and Billy to hospital. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Billy is. The nurse breaks down crying and says, "He’s dead!" Alec is shocked and sighs, "I suppose the saw finally did him in?" "No," replies the nurse, "Some stupid idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

A farmer gets, after many years of no contact, a visit from his brother, who is a priest. Proudly he leads him around his farm. “See this field of grain, I grew this!” “Yes, but with God's help!” the priest says. A bit further, he shows him a meadow with gorgeous cows grazing. “See those cows, I bred them!” he says. Again the priest says “Yes, but with God's help!”. The farmer feels a bit insulted and keeps silent for the rest of the walk. Shortly after they arrive at a piece of uncultivated ground, full of thistles and brambles. “What happened here?” the priest asks. “Well, here I let God do the farming by himself!”

Who believes in telekinesis? Raise my hand!

My wife has just told me that I don't know how to shave properly... Bloody cheek!

I'm extremely passionate about preserving endangered animals. You should taste my panda jam or rhino chutney.

I can proove to you that I'm psikick. Right now you're thinking, "He can't spell."

I took my cat to the vet and explained she was very listless and not moving. The vet put a stethoscope to her chest and said “Say aaah” “She can’t say aaah!” I said. “I wasn’t talking to the cat", he replied, "I was talking to you. The cat’s dead”

One of the prosecution witnesses gave testimony on papers from 2011, but a New York appellate court has ruled that only allegations from 2014 onwards can be used as evidence. The judge warned the witness about this, saying it was a waste of time to present papers from then, unless they could be related to later events. When Trump exited the court he jumped on this and came up with the "80% of charges have been vacated" line himself, even though no one else saw it that way. The MAGA brigade are getting excited over another piece of Trump fiction. Some of the MAGA sites and YouTube channels are reporting it, but not many. Some of the (to them serious) comments made as they get their hopes up are hilarious, but rather than encourage views on them I'll just link to this Daily Mail report on it: "Trump makes wild claim that 80% of fraud case could be THROWN OUT because statute of limitations has expired: President gives thumbs up in court - as judge slams prosecutors for a 'waste of time' for having accountants testify" https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12586351/Trump-makes-wild-claim-80-fraud-case-THROWN-statute-limitations-expired-President-gives-thumbs-court-judge-slams-prosecutors-waste-time-having-accountants-testify.html

It sounds like an old TIN, which did have 10 numbers. They have 13 now.

Brian Cox discusses this very question, and gives a number of possible reasons as to why alien life has yet to be discovered (if ever). His personal favourite of them rather contradicts the OP, but, as he says, he'd be delighted to be proven wrong. Because that's what science is all about. (The link works, it just doesn't play in its own window). Why haven’t we found aliens? A physicist shares the most popular theories. | Brian Cox

There must be a lot of English speaking Thais out there if foreigners aren't allowed to sign up for PTT's EV Station PluZ:

Non Charoen is in Ban Kruat district, further south of Prakhonchai. There are a few Thai style resorts around there, and a few more in Ban Kruat town, but the best hotels in that area are in Prakhonchai, with the de l'amour (the THB 1,504 a night one on the map below) being arguably the best, (and most expensive). Good luck, I hope all goes well for you and your daughter. Hotel de l'amour – โรงแรมเดอลามูร์ (hotel-delamour.com)

Not the Green Mango owner?

Exactly. I have the same problem with an Australian bank. They can send me warning SMS's for some things - such as when I recently chose a PIN for my new debit card, a message arrived telling me that it had been changed, but I can't receive OTPs from them. When I contacted them they advised me to get an Australian SIM.