fatter than harry

xXx

Has anyone started running a book on DJ Pat yet? Can he keep up this frantic pace? I for one, wait with baited breasts.

I like backpackers, they are cannon fodder to the tuk tuk / tailor / gift shop industry

Someone's gotta be stupid enough I suppose.

My first trip to LOS

We were upwardly mobile backpackers, me, my brother and two mates spent a week in Bangkok, hotel was called the residence I think, opposite the BBC school, just round the corner from Siam centre.

We did the tours and - without our consent - the mini bus driver dropped us off at the gem warehouse, where we were given free drinks, shown a movie about mining and producing gems in Thailand and followed around a gem shop by happy serving ladies, life is what you make it, we were happy enough to lead those ladies in circles but I can easily see how more sensible people could get irate at becoming grist in the great LOS sales pit.

Other tours took us to tailors and souvenier shops, the irony of being asked if I wanted a suit when I looked like a convict with bleached white hair and a nipple ring through my nose was refreshingly new then.

After BKKers we did Krabi and the islands, all in all it took about 10 days to get out of the tuk tuk / minivan gravy train, it felt like we'd beaten the system - it was then that the lonely planet did indeed become our bible.

Like I said, backpackers serve a purpose, they cancel out a lot of the <deleted> that gets served up to farangs here, who else would buy the nike flip flops that are scientifically made to only last the remainder of the backpackers trip before they give up the ghost?

A backpacker on the skytrain? Fair game, like you need a bergen tent and two weeks survival equipment to go to the world trade centre for two hours window shopping anyway, kick them in the shins.

Finally, does anyone go to Kho Pagn Ngan who isn't a backpacker?

I like backpackers, they are cannon fodder to the tuk tuk / tailor / gift shop industry, thus allowing me free passage to do my thing.

I also know plenty of fellows who aren't backpackers and fit your description too, except for the Khao San road and sarong thing.

And the backpack thing.

And the smaller backpack on the front thing.

And the ice thing.

And the teaching English thing.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

"Things I've learned from my Children"

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.

18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minute.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

The new Bourne is cracking, better than the first. Maybe it took the first film to get used to Matt Damon as Bourne.

Arthur was great, I felt Dudley Moore was badly cast as the leader of the fabled round table Knights but Liza Minelli was back to her best with her portrayal of the all singing, all dancing Guinevere.

*!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!*

Higwaymen

It's a film about a semi paraplegic man who runs people over, and another man who tries to stop him. I make it sound better than it is.

*!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!* *!Worst film ever alert!*

I have to vote for wolfie, Mr Thai Visa 2004.

Hubba hubba!

I'm currently at MOU stage with Frond regarding opening a hair salon.

Great idea!, may I suggest you call it 'Insight's bar'. No one would think to call a beer bar after themselves.

Stop your grizzling, Farang affairs is great, always good for a laugh, the event models going on strike was comedy gold.

Carry on.

You could brighten someones day?

Captain Sensible is HP.

Move along.

Anger retracted.

Die.

Please end your life.

Sigh.

Palmer. It says many, many things.

Mostly it says:

http://www.quizilla.com/users/dirtyground/...0Bastard%20Test

It's a Rolf Harris lyric, from 'The court of King Caracticus'

Antidisestablishmentarianism means the people who are against the people who are against the government.*

*Maybe, maybe not.

You need to think about what message you communicate to your electorate, Mr. T.

"I ain't gettin' in no plane"

Operation NOT GAY

You could invite him round to your place for a nice dinner, soft lights (candles might be better) some Enya or Enigma on the stereo.

After the main course you can cut your cock and balls off and serve them to him on a plate, that would kill a few birds with one stone, the shock might be enough to rouse him from his whole 'forgetting you're not gay' thing, it would definately promote the idea that you weren't a 'giver', although it could be construed that you were sending subliminal messages as a 'taker' - you could counter this by slamming a hammer into your dessert offering and shouting 'Satan is my keeper!' at the top of your voice, at this point I'd exchange the Enya or Enigma cd for something with a bit more gusto, some speed metal should do the trick. Chuckle to yourself on a job well done as he runs from your bleeding, mutilated body screaming like a banshee.

Or you could just tell him you're not gay.

I have some.

http://www.georgeinleather.com

Rainman,....gay guys have a sixth sense when it comes to seeking out other gays.

They call it Gaydar.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

"Admin quote of the day"

cheers split!

I was thinking that a massage parlour is just what Phuket needs, or maybe a hair salon of some description.

Truth be told I'm investigating starting up an internet based Thailand discussion website, I thought 'Thai Visor' sounded catchy!

BTW,

http://www.enlroc.co.uk/Gallery/camels.htm

When you register a new company you have to put three choices of names on the application form, starting with your favourite.

Is there any way to find out if your desired company name has already been taken, before you start up the company? apart from searching the internet for existing business'?

Any advice appreciated.

and we also met people personally, we met first on the internet.

You're a swinger?