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connda

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Posts posted by connda

  1. ^^

    We should ban cars first, as they are the biggest killer of people. Guns only killed 3.98 per 100,000. Deaths on U.S. roads were 12.3 per 100,000 (Thailand it was 19.6 per 100,000k).

    http://en.wikipedia....ated_death_rate

    (2002) Homicides in Great Britain involving a gun per 100,000 = 0.105 people

    The 2002 OVERALL (not limited to guns) homicides in Great Britain were 2.1 per 100,000 people. http://en.wikipedia....l_homicide_rate

    Because firearms were pretty much outlawed in the U.K. people started using things other than guns (knifes, bats, sticks, stones) to kill one another. Yes, this is a truly compelling argument to outlaw firearms.

    I'd love to see the stats comparing the murder rate between the US and Great Britain on a per capita basis. Then break it down by weapon.

    I'm thinking pretty soon he Brits will have to eat with their fingers because everything else could be considered a dangerous weapon.

    Heroin Addicts Stabbed and Killed with Spoon in Sussex. MPs Call for Ban on Spoons -- "Dangerous Weapons" rolleyes.gif

  2. When the country you live in will not allow the average citizen to protect themselves with force equal to that as wielded by an "outlaw", you quickly will become a victim.

    No such thing as "equal force" all that happens is that outlaws get bigger guns thats all.

    Having lived in a country were carrying concealed firearms were the norm, and I carried a firearm for many years, it didnt matter even if you were carrying .44 Magnum because the "outlaws" were carrying AK-47's. (real 7.62mm fellows) and I can assure you an AK tops any handgun in a p*ssing match.

    So based on your flawed logic...what would be the next step ?....allow everyone to carry assualt rifle to match equal force ?

    Having lived in that sort of enviroment, I can assure you, banning firearms completely, and only putting them in the hands of the police (so they can shoot the "outlaws") is a sensible step.

    I'd go one step further and not put them in the hands of most police. I think gun crime stats from Britain vs the US speak volumes on this subject.

    However, I could only find figures that were ten years old with a quick google so I'm ready to stand corrected:

    (2002) Homicides in Great Britain involving a gun per 100,000 = 0.105 people

    (2001) Homicides in USA involving a gun per 100,000 = 3.98 people

    So, ten years ago at least, you were nearly 38 times more likely to get murdered in the USA by somebody with a gun than you were in Great Britain.

    Humm. That probably means you're less likely to get shot than die in a car accident in the USA :)

    3.98 to 100000 odds? That's pretty good odds. Think I'll keep packing when I'm in the US, and I guess I'll never consider moving to Great Britain. ;)

  3. Two words.

    Move - On

    ( Rather than try to work some problem that she likely doesn't even recognize, just move on and get one without issues. There's no shortage. )

    Sorry, Winnie, talk is easy and easier said than done.

    ...perhaps the OP still loves his wife, even with all her faults?

    Yeah. People nowadays seem to miss the point of a marriage. Nobody said it's easy. Maybe I'm old school, but I think that if you commit to marriage, you work though the issue. I consider it a moral commitment.

    Too bad so many married couple think that it's OK to pull the nuclear option and destroy the marriage because they just can't be bothered to attempt to work through the issues. Talk to people who have been married 40, 50, or 60 years. They'll all tell you that they occasionally hit a wall, but they endeavored to get to the other side.

    Yeah, there are beautiful, available lasses all over the place. But I'm not interested. I'll work with what I got: for better or for worse. I'm not saying there isn't a time to cut your losses, but I'm not there yet.

    I have been going though a rough patch at the moment this comment just made perfect sense to me we are working though it a day at a time .

    I guess i am not old school as i am 32 years old but i agree with your comment.

    Good for you. You're one of the exceptions! :)

  4. Many of the people posting here agree the wife has a problem and needs to seek psychiatric assessment. That's probably true, but no one likes to be told "you have a problem; you should go see a psychiatrist". That can be an intimidating process, especially if you've never been to a psychiatrist before.

    That's why I made the suggestions I did in post #38, which seem to have been ignored by everyone. The OP can approach this as a joint problem -- there are problems with the relationship and both parties need to make changes. Then seek marriage counseling. Any competent marriage counsellor is going to insist on a medicial assessment for both parties, including a psychiatric assessment, especially after an initial meeting and learning the nature of the problems. They will have recommendations of where to go and who to see. That's more helpful than just saying "you're the one with all the problems and unless you do something about it, I'm leaving" and not providing any other guidance or support.

    My advice is specific and actionable. No one else has actually told the OP specifically where to seek help.

    Not ignoring you NancyL. That was good info that I am definitely considering. I appreciate the suggestion. Thanks!

    I tried in the UK, trying to sort out the love of my life (UK wife of 20 years), she had medical problems and her consultant could not talk to me because of patient confidentiality reasons. All went pear shaped and end of story. Sadly.

    It use to be that doctors would consider a husband and wife a family unit and information would be shared equally. Now the doctor can't talk to you about your own wife and vice versa?.

    Doctor: "Your wife is dying in the next room."

    You: "OMG! What is it. Can it be cured. What is the prognosis?"

    Doctor: "Sorry. I can't talk to you. Patient confidentiality.........oh, we expect you to pay the bill."

    Whatever county that is, if you haven't left, it's time.

  5. It sounds like a mia-noi would be the obvious Thai solution.

    Counseling by quacks and heavy mind-altering medication would be a psychiatric snake-pit that she might pull you into after her. It's often said here that there's a right way; a wrong way; and a Thai way, to do things.

    Always take the Thai way.

    In this case it would be a mia-noi.

    That might be the shock-treatment she needs. Who knows?

    All the best, Dude.

    So, you are suggesting to a man with a moody, unstable and abusive wife (his words I think from the OP) to go and take a mia noi.

    Hopefully, at some point before the wife snaps and starts sawing away at his penis with a meat cleaver, he will realize that this is not the best advice.

    OP: you have my sympathy and I hope that you can sort out a course that is not disasterous for you. Personally, I do think that the biggest con that women have pulled on men throughout history, is that somehow we are responsible for how they feel. People should take ownership of their own emotions, and not blame others. "You make me sad/angry/unhappy" is the biggest cop out going - sadly however, its what we all buy into.

    I actually do not buy into that. My moods are my own. I'm that only person responsible for fixing my emotions.

    Unfortunately for wife, I tell her she is responsible for her own moods. Generally when she is in a "mood", I don't let her drag me down with her. That gives me the space to attempt to work through this.

  6. I come from a country (Canada) which has stringent gun laws. Only criminals and police are allowed to have handguns in Canada, and I'm as afraid of the police as I am of the criminals.

    Ian, Ian.... Handguns in Canada fall under the Restricted classification not the Prohibited as long as the barrel lentgh is over 4", is semi auto and doesn't shoot .32 or .25 (the vast majority of handguns are).

    There is the law, and then there is reality. Over the past 15 years I know of at least 4 occasions where the RCMP killed men who were supposedly already in lock up and only drunk and disorderly. There is the airport "incident" where 5 big cops held a mentally handicapped tourist down and tasored him to death. Then there is a case a single officer going onto a private citizens land and killing a father and son for setting off noise makers. I can go on, but you get the picture. I've lost all respect for the so called Canadian Justice System. It's there only to provide high paying jobs for lawyers and judges.

    Getting a handgun legally in Canada is frigging near impossible and so time consuming that it's just not worth it. Even if you spend the time getting the license there is no way you are allowed to use it outside your home. You have to get a separate license to carry it to and from a gun range on specific dates. If you were caught doing a little plinking (shooting targets) out in the wilderness somewhere the gun will be confiscated and you will be charged.

    Meanwhile, back on the ranch, any criminal over the age of 10 can get handguns and automatic weapons through the black market from the US of A.

    "If guns were outlawed, than only outlaws would have guns." -- and therein lies the problem.

    Outlaws look for easy victims. When the country you live in will not allow the average citizen to protect themselves with force equal to that as wielded by an "outlaw", you quickly will become a victim.

    However, with that said, most people that I meet from 'British Commonwealth' countries are some of the most anti-gun individuals that I have ever met. So if the country they live in outlaw firearms in the hands of the 'law abiding' populace, it is simply the will of the people being expressed through the laws of their government. That is what the majority within the country want. I can respect that.

    Me personally? I'd rather live in a country with gun policies like Switzerland.

  7. My general observations are that [judging by the map/pic] the worst burners are northern Thailand and central and eastern Burma and the fires seem to go back and forth over the borders and with no borders on the map/pic, it's hard to tell who is the 'winner' of the burning fields contest.......I just know that we are the loosers.

    I use this map , it shows the international borders.

    Man! It looks like that locals have set the entire SE Asia on fire. No wonder the air quality sucks.

    Burma seems to be working overtime to burn up their entire country. Holy Smokes!!!

  8. I have a Honda wave 125I

    It too came with very small tires that I felt were unstable for my size and weight as well as the type of driving I do.

    you can up grade to 70/90 front and 80/90 back without changing the rims like the new Honda wave 110 has,

    Or like me, I went with a 80/80 donlop T900 front and 90/80 back tire but had to use larger rims. in all about 5000 baht. but for my 100kph + riding, 8 hours at a time day after day it was well worth it

    Just curious. At 100kph on those tires, how does the ride feel. Does is feel more stable. I probably ride at 85kph average, but will accelerate to 100 to 110 to get around traffic quickly. But I don't like riding that fast because I'm always thinking about the tires.

  9. Many of the people posting here agree the wife has a problem and needs to seek psychiatric assessment. That's probably true, but no one likes to be told "you have a problem; you should go see a psychiatrist". That can be an intimidating process, especially if you've never been to a psychiatrist before.

    That's why I made the suggestions I did in post #38, which seem to have been ignored by everyone. The OP can approach this as a joint problem -- there are problems with the relationship and both parties need to make changes. Then seek marriage counseling. Any competent marriage counsellor is going to insist on a medicial assessment for both parties, including a psychiatric assessment, especially after an initial meeting and learning the nature of the problems. They will have recommendations of where to go and who to see. That's more helpful than just saying "you're the one with all the problems and unless you do something about it, I'm leaving" and not providing any other guidance or support.

    My advice is specific and actionable. No one else has actually told the OP specifically where to seek help.

    Not ignoring you NancyL. That was good info that I am definitely considering. I appreciate the suggestion. Thanks!

  10. I drive a Honda Dream 125. Over 50% of my driving is on the highway at speeds between 80 - 90 kpm for distances up to 60 km. However, the stock tires on that bike scare me. They don't strike me as designed for highway speeds.

    I'm running

    IRC 60/100 17 M/C front

    IRC 70/100 17 M/C rear

    Anymore have any recommendations a better tire for highway driving.

    Thanks!

  11. I pulled this off an internet site that discussed anger in menopausal women. It pretty well hits the nail on the head.

    Recognize the expressions of anger. Women may express anger through the emotional or physical abuse of others. These are oftentimes partners or children, who make safe targets, while the actual causes of the anger are not attacked.

    Yes I do...I make a safe target. Although remaining a target will not be an option much longer.

  12. It sounds like a mia-noi would be the obvious Thai solution.

    Counseling by quacks and heavy mind-altering medication would be a psychiatric snake-pit that she might pull you into after her. It's often said here that there's a right way; a wrong way; and a Thai way, to do things.

    Always take the Thai way.

    In this case it would be a mia-noi.

    That might be the shock-treatment she needs. Who knows?

    All the best, Dude.

    What? Double my trouble. laugh.png I have enough headache with one.

    • Like 2
  13. If a man speaks his mind in a forest and no women hears him.....is he still wrong? cowboy.gif

    The Thai-character/psyche can be dangerously "different", as we all know. I would seriously consider finding the 'back-door' before her condition deteriorates into a psychotic-episode,with you in it !

    The Buddhist-way is to deny. A life time of suppressed emotion will eventually surface and be projected onto the world in any number of forms ranging from mild -irritation to full-blown murderous rage.

    The disney-land level of social Buddhism with its glittering forms and mindless magic does nothing more than re-affirm the forms of social protocol. The higher-forms of Buddhism where inner observation through meditation has been known to be profoundly therapeutic is a common refuge for many Thai-people who suffer from duress. This can be found in the quite-tude of ones home,a forest Wat or a traditional meditation retreat centre.

    If you could have a friend or family member of your wife willing to accompany her to an appropriate Wat for a week to 10 days,could be helpful.She can immerse herself in a changed atmosphere that resonates most near and dear to her own heart and cultural identity.

    Although I suspect her issues are more likely to do with age (menopause)and bio-chemical brain functions,one should not over look the powerful effects of stillness and silence can have on the human-psyche,especially when it is so intrinsic to the culture itself.

    So you think that 10 days of buddhism can cure a life time of thai buddhism?

    We (wife and I) have been searching for quote <an appropriate> unquote wat.

    We gave up.

    Wat Tham Tong near Hang Dong in Northern Thailand. Retreat center concentrates primarily on walking meditation. Retreats are lead by both Thai monks and maechee. This is a Thai Buddhist retreat center. Dust off your Thai speaking skills. Google Earth Placemark attached.

    Wat Tham Tong.kmz

  14. If a man speaks his mind in a forest and no women hears him.....is he still wrong? cowboy.gif

    The Thai-character/psyche can be dangerously "different", as we all know. I would seriously consider finding the 'back-door' before her condition deteriorates into a psychotic-episode,with you in it !

    The Buddhist-way is to deny. A life time of suppressed emotion will eventually surface and be projected onto the world in any number of forms ranging from mild -irritation to full-blown murderous rage.

    The disney-land level of social Buddhism with its glittering forms and mindless magic does nothing more than re-affirm the forms of social protocol. The higher-forms of Buddhism where inner observation through meditation has been known to be profoundly therapeutic is a common refuge for many Thai-people who suffer from duress. This can be found in the quite-tude of ones home,a forest Wat or a traditional meditation retreat centre.

    If you could have a friend or family member of your wife willing to accompany her to an appropriate Wat for a week to 10 days,could be helpful.She can immerse herself in a changed atmosphere that resonates most near and dear to her own heart and cultural identity.

    Although I suspect her issues are more likely to do with age (menopause)and bio-chemical brain functions,one should not over look the powerful effects of stillness and silence can have on the human-psyche,especially when it is so intrinsic to the culture itself.

    We've been to retreats together in the past. Might be time to consider it again.

  15. My single suggestion is think of ways to let her be herself. Possibly her feelings are somewhat like this: "I constantly do something for someone else and have lost who I am, and resent my husband for being content when I am so discontent".

    About 2 years into our marriage I remember her doing a Dr Jekell to Mr. Hyde change where she told me that her outside persona was just an act to lure in unsuspecting farang.

    I have a hard time believing that my wife put on 'a face' for twenty plus years, 3 kids and plenty of good times, before she went through her Dr Jekell to Mr Hyde change. My wife left last year, and after many months apart still continues to be emotionally abusive.

    And change the word farang to man, it is such a common story; myself was shocked at, after going through a similar thing, the number of friends in Chiang Mai that went through exactly the same thing.

    That fact that it is so common is disturbing. 20 years? Wow.

  16. Why is that crazy? I also do most of the dishes and general cleaning of my house. And we have a maid that comes in once a week to do the deep cleaning.

    What does your wife/gf do?

    Write up quotations, toy with Excel, make money, and buy food. thumbsup.gif

    As WTK alluded to, we both hold down full time jobs. She also handles most of the laundry, the cooking, manages the bills, and helps me with the yard work. I was raised to understand that marriages are a partnership. I have no problem with helping out around the house and doing my fair share. I also care enough about my girlfriend that I don't mind doing a bit more than my fair share so that she can have extra time to unwind, go shopping, or spend times with her friends.

    I know she really appreciates how hard I work and how much I help out around the house. Because of this, any time I want to go out drinking or hang out with my friends, I don't get all the grief from her that alot of other expats get from their wives. Also she understands that Sunday is my day to rest and she handles all the errand running etc, without dragging me along.

    Anyway, I know others will probably disagree with me, but I respect my Thai gf/ wife as a full partner in the relationship, and not as my personal maid/ slave.

    -Mestizo

    I work from the same premise. Unfortunately I don't get the respect or the understanding in return. It's very one way. You're a lucky guy to have that level of relationship. That's what I'd like, and that's why I do what I do. It's just unfortunate that it is so "one way".

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