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OxfordWill

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Posts posted by OxfordWill

    Checking File System On D:

    in IT and Computers

    Posted · Edited by OxfordWill

    It depends what kind of backup system is in use. I would suggest trying to modify the settings of the backup to include fewer file/folder locations, as it may be that the drive it is trying to save the backup to is not big enough to hold everything it is trying to backup. Is there a difference in size between the C and D drives?

    Alternatively, it may be retaining multiple backups over time which has led to it now being full. You could try deleting older unwanted backups from the D drive, which would allow it to write a fresh one.

    I'Ve Been The Victim Of An Unprovoked Violent Attack.

    in General Topics

    Posted · Edited by OxfordWill

    What's absolutely clear is that you must step up, man up, grab your balls, be a man, manly man, dont take no for an answer, wash on alternate wednesdays, and hit him in the face.

    On the other hand, its cultural, you dont get it, you couldnt possibly fathom what youve done wrong but its not dissimilar to the worst thing imaginable, so its best to give in and take a good beating before giving him all your money and your first born daughter.

    p.s. cheapest lesson you've ever learned

    p.p.s hit him so he doesnt get back up.

    • Like 1
    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    2 Years With Thai Man Now And Still Confused By Relations! Help!

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted

    You might be pushing him away with your attempts to "clear the air" which although you do not explicitly state it, I think you know is not something the Thais need or want to do. It's just not in them. Us whiteys have a definite need to "bring it all out", "talk it through", and "feel better" as a result. This is anathema to all but the most unusual Thais, be they male or female.

    I don't think it's any coincidence you lead into the "Ae" situation from explanation about your cultural needs not being met. You seem in some conflict as you appear to realise that Thai men do sometimes have a certain kind of male-male relationship that is odd to most of us westerners, yet you won't allow yourself to accept his relationship with Ae. Could it be that you are projecting your frustrations over what may be the "main issue" in your relationship (the lack of "open western-style dialogue" about things that bother you or concern you) onto what may well be a very harmless and quite normal unrelated aspect of his life and behaviour?

    I am very sympathetic to your situation and after 10 years here I wonder if it is surmountable with a Thai who has not spent significant time in the West. What i have learned is that however hard I try, I cannot shake away or change the fundamental cultural "principles" that I was brought up with, such as this need for "getting things off my chest" (if I can put it that more male way), nor the way in which the lack of them strongly affects my happiness.

    • Like 4

    Clicking On 'View New Content' Opens Chinese Website

    in Forum Support Desk

    Posted · Edited by OxfordWill

    There are some, but few, problems like this which are unlikely to be solved via a virus scan.

    If you still havent found & removed a virus, one thing you can try: If you open notepad in administrative mode (right click notepad.exe, 'open as administator') then

    File > Open..

    a) navigate to Windows folder on main (usually C:) drive, then

    cool.png open System32 folder, then

    c) open 'drivers' folder, then

    d) open 'etc' folder, then

    e) from drop down on bottom right hand side, select "all files" (instead of just ".TXT files") then

    f) select the file called "hosts". Open it and then copy/paste the contents of that file here..

    If you do not see any of these folders/files let me know what version of windows you run.

    Also, let us know what DNS servers you use ( up to STEP 5, without actually changing anything) http://mintywhite.com/windows-7/change-dns-server-windows-7/

    Ip Addresses

    in IT and Computers

    Posted

    blackjack, it would be more conclusive to get him to click a link that goes to a website you have the ability to check the access logs of. Then you would know his IP for the moment that he clicked on the link, assuming he is not smart enough to cover it.

    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    Question About A "Wai"

    in General Topics

    Posted · Edited by OxfordWill

    Unless you are speaking to them in Thai (and well, not just a "Good morning" and then switching to english) I would recommend avoiding it altogether. At your age you are going to be respected simply for being old and white, and there is unfortunately more potential for loss of face if you get things wrong, as a result of your "position" therein.

    I think a handshake is probably best in your situation.

    However, if you are speaking Thai to them socially then I would urge a different answer, but I think you would not be asking the question if you were, as the language is so tied into the whole idea of a hierarchy to begin with.

    I would disagree with the idea that a wai is a gesture of servitude. In the west we are familiar with the idea of someone going to shake hands "first". The Thais just have a slightly more complicated version of that. The reality of it is that we kid ourselves back home that we are so modern and egalitarian, all the while judging those around us at alarming speeds.

    • Like 5

    Really Awkward Problem After Giving A Gift To A Thai Person

    in General Topics

    Posted

    Anyone saying the gifts could be taken as an insult are talking out of their behinds. While that may be true of OTHER cultures, it is not going to be the situation here for you and the specifics involved.

    However it is possible that you have made the lady "shy" by being too generous- the original money (1000 baht up from 350 baht) regardless of the 90 minutes extra to find the place, is akin in the west to paying a taxi driver 100$ for an agreed $15 ride just because he helped you inside the hotel with your luggage.

    It's also possible that by saying "you are not satisfied with me" she used a dictionary and mis-translated her intentions, namely that she wanted to say the 1000 baht was already too much.

    The underlying Thai custom I suspect to be at work here is a very strong feeling called "greng jai"- it is sort of like "gratitude mixed with indebtedness". You get "greng jai points" for having certain social standings vs others, and by being a guest of that lady+boss' place, you are already on quite a high "greng jai score" with them. What this equates to is that they feel they should do things for YOU, not the other way around. By being so generous you upset this balance, causing them to feel overwhelmed with impotence and the inability to right the situation.

    Thats my guess, given the facts provided.

    Will,

    Isn't "greng jai" more of an attitude of deference, where you restrain your own interests or wishes /thoughts in deference of someone else's interests needs/ thoughts. Also reluctance to disturb people? Usually lower to higher person

    In the work place I used to find "greng jai" was one of the biggest obstacles to getting things done, and used to spend a lot of effort to develop an environment where people wouldn't "greng jai" me, as often by deferring to what you think the boss might want or think just gets in the way of what actually needs doing. eg won't express an opinion in case it conflicts with yours; won't disturb you if you look busy even if something is actually critical and you would rather be disturbed if you knew etc

    Yes, you are greng jai your boss simply because he is "above" you socially. However, one cannot hope to eliminate greng jai from the work place. It is actually one of two very useful motivational tools (the other being "face") and crucial to the productivity of any Thai operation.

    Regarding your interview question with the young lady with many older siblings- in Thailand, the youngest daughter is often the least spoilt (and burdened with the most familial responsibility). It's almost an exact 180 on western ideas on the subject. A very unlucky choice of word nonetheless!!

    Really Awkward Problem After Giving A Gift To A Thai Person

    in General Topics

    Posted

    Anyone saying the gifts could be taken as an insult are talking out of their behinds. While that may be true of OTHER cultures, it is not going to be the situation here for you and the specifics involved.

    However it is possible that you have made the lady "shy" by being too generous- the original money (1000 baht up from 350 baht) regardless of the 90 minutes extra to find the place, is akin in the west to paying a taxi driver 100$ for an agreed $15 ride just because he helped you inside the hotel with your luggage.

    It's also possible that by saying "you are not satisfied with me" she used a dictionary and mis-translated her intentions, namely that she wanted to say the 1000 baht was already too much.

    The underlying Thai custom I suspect to be at work here is a very strong feeling called "greng jai"- it is sort of like "gratitude mixed with indebtedness". You get "greng jai points" for having certain social standings vs others, and by being a guest of that lady+boss' place, you are already on quite a high "greng jai score" with them. What this equates to is that they feel they should do things for YOU, not the other way around. By being so generous you upset this balance, causing them to feel overwhelmed with impotence and the inability to right the situation.

    Thats my guess, given the facts provided.

    • Like 1

    Going Home

    in General Topics

    Posted

    It is amazing that this topic is almost like the most heart felt out of so many we read of deaths, murders and mysteries etc.

    There is a simple bottom line.

    We all imagine a kind of Nirvana, we all realise the illusion we suspected.

    I'm out of here too, after a year and a half of thinking maybe I can live here, with my 40k job. I can and you can if you are a Thai for sure, but not a farang.

    cu

    Rubbish. With 40k you can live quite well here.

    Definitely.

    Thailand is a magical land, where traditionally accepted norms such as:

    1) Differences in income

    2) Differences in spending habits

    3) Differences in wealth

    No longer apply to the human race, and all "westerners" arrive at the magical gateway to the Kingdom with a "clean white slate" where all men are created equal, with the exact same background, history, intelligence, capabilities, education, luck in life, interests, expectations and ambitions.

    Having been magically reborn like this, as we all have by living here, we must surely accept that the REAL TRUTH of the answer to the question "How much money do you need per month to live in Thailand" exists, and is out there somewhere.

    Let us never give up our struggle to find this holy grail of forum topic, and conclude it so that our children when they visit this land of wonder and magick will know exactly how much to budget.

    • Like 1
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