![](https://assets.aseannow.com/forum/uploads/set_resources_40/84c1e40ea0e759e3f1505eb1788ddf3c_pattern.png)
fasteddie
-
Posts
2,743 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by fasteddie
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
Bloody farangs, always Thai bashing ????
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
A Chap walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'
The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Chap explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'
The Chap smiles, taps his watch and says,
' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'-
4
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out. "Oh bigboy, whip me, whip me!"
The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks. "Did you get these marks having sex?"
The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims. "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring......
Wait for it......
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
You've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."-
3
-
6
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
Monday my Grandad goes to the Cobblers to collect his shoes:
The cobbler says. ''When did you fetch them in mate?''
Grandad says. ''Wednesday, March the 10th 1949.''
The Cobbler says. "You're having a laugh mate, this shop has changed hands 17 times and we don't keep records anyway where's your ticket?''
Grandad opens his wallet and produces the ticket in perfect condition.
The cobbler can't believe it, but goes down the cellar stairs and searches an hour for the shoes,
He comes up the stairs all covered in cobwebs with a pair of shoes and says to grandad. ''Is this ''em?''
Grandad says. ''Yes.'' All excited.
.
.The Cobbler says. ''They'll be ready Friday!''
-
1
-
1
-
-
22 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:
Vapour can still be inhaled into lungs, and the chemicals in the vapour are an unknown quantity in many instances.
22 hours ago, Enki said:Vapour: yes.
Dissipate: no. (Why would it?)
I find vaping much worse than smoking as "the new addicts" often do it continuously ... no idea to where I should move not to get hit.
Just get out of their personal space then, being vapour (aerosol actually) it consists of water droplets which quickly fall to the floor.
-
There has been an explosion at the cheese factory in France.
There is nothing left but de brie.-
1
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
4 hours ago, sammieuk1 said:A clear case of nice legs shame about the boat race deport them ????
Should have gone to specsavers.
-
6
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
Just don't let them out of your sight Iran, especially to any country under the influence of the American empire, we all know after MH17 the west can not be trusted to release true information.
-
3
-
2
-
5
-
Things have sadly changed at Pine bungalow, I stayed there many times from '94 until they concreted the place and the dogs were always great, well except Diamond bless him. I stayed a number of times for three months or more and became alpha dog, the only people they ever chased were in Muslim garb no doubt brought on by the prawn farmer who often attacked them and even poisened some. So sad to see one of my past favourite haunts in the news for such a thing. RIP Thailand.
-
Personally I avoid buying palm oil products as much as I can, it's in so many things including all my favourite chocolate. I have seen the devastation it causes especially in Malaysia which has changed beyond belief since my 1st jungle trekking days in '66, and what is happening in now in Borneo and Sumatra is heartbreaking.
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
-
1 hour ago, ravip said:
????????????????
Excuses...
Or racism?
-
1
-
-
-
6 hours ago, ballpoint said:
I can soon fix that:
Chimpanzees are clever animals; one of the few that makes tools. But one chimp was much better than the others; he made tools to eat with. One was a single sharp blade which he called his one-point-tool. The other had four prongs and he called this one his four-point-tool. Using them together, he could cut up fruit and eat it without any of the mess that chimps usually make. The rest of his troop were massively impressed and quite jealous; they all wanted the tools.
But one day he went to eat a mango, only to find his four-point-tool was missing. His first thoughts were that one of the jealous chimps had pinched it, but, after several arguments and fights (they were chimps after all) he concluded that it wasn’t one of them.
So off he went to talk to some of the other animals. First, he asked the lion if he’d taken his four-point-tool. But the lion said no, why would he want a silly little tool when he had sharp claws.
So next, he went to the elephant and asked him. But the elephant said no, why would he want a silly little tool when he had a trunk.
Finally, after asking all of the other animals, he found the jaguar who was smiling smugly. “Have you taken my eating tool, Mr Jaguar?” said the chimp. “Yes, and I ate it” growled the jaguar. “Why?” cried the chimps, in tears.
“You see”, the jaguar replied “I’m a four-point-tool eater jaguar”.I had one of them, it didn't eat my tool but it did drink petrol ????
-
1
-
-
3 hours ago, BigFun said:
Slow Eddie? ????
Clued up Eddie ????
-
- Popular Post
6 hours ago, whaleboneman said:Sure, into everyone’s lungs. If I can smell it, I’m breathing it.
If you can smell it, get out of his personal space.
-
3
-
1 hour ago, Inn Between said:
Well, even in the days when it was okay to smoke on airplanes, it wasn't allowed in the bathrooms because of the fire hazard that all the paper towel and tissue caused.
Ah that'll be why there has never been a smoking related fire on an aircraft then. Ironically the environment on a plane is now much more hazardous since to the smoking ban due to the air refreshing being turned down to save fuel
-
1
-
1
-
-
2 hours ago, Inn Between said:
I remember the days of being a smoker. Taking those long-haul flights going back and forth from NA to SE Asia were torturous sometimes, but I was never stupid enough to take that chance.
I was curious about the penalty and see it was merely a fine, a scolding and on his way to enjoy his holiday. He must have been able to confirm reservations at one of the many hotels that are desperately in need of customers. Otherwise, would he have been shown the door out of Thailand? ????
And what happened to the "good guys in; bad guys out" rule for entry into Thailand. Here we have a person who has clearly shown no respect for a law made to keep people safe while flying, yet he's a "good guy"? But somehow, other people who have done noting more than try to spend a lot of (crime-free) time in Thailand using various visas and entry methods are deemed "bad guys" and turned away. I don't get it, but I don't think we're supposed to.
'' Here we have a person who has clearly shown no respect for a law made to keep people safe while flying ''.....how so?
-
2
-
Worst Joke Ever 2024
in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Posted