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fasteddie

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
    The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
    "That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."...
    "Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
    The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
    About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
    "No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are working on a skyscraper.
    The Englishman opens his sandwich box and exclaims "Bloody hell, ham and cheese again! I swear, if I have ham and cheese again tomorrow, I'm going to throw myself off this building!"
    The Scotsman then proceeds to open his sandwich box and exclaims "Aye, I've got <deleted> chicken-mayo again. If I have this tomorrow I'll throw myself off this building as well!"
    The Irishman opens his lunch and says "I've got bacon again! If I have bacon again tomorrow, I'll join you in jumping off this building!"
    So the next day the three men open their sandwich boxes and all have the same filling as the day before, so they all, for the purpose of this joke, jump from the sky scraper to their deaths.
    A few days later at the funerals of the three men, their wives stood weeping.
    "If I would have known he didn't want ham and cheese then I would have mixed it up!" said the Englishman's wife.
    The Scotsman's wife nodded "Yes, If I knew he didn't want chicken mayo then I would have made something different".
    The Irishman's wife was crying harder than all and simply said "I just don't understand... Paddy made his own sandwiches".
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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
    Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!"
    The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little <deleted> on your lap."
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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A man walked into the produce section of his local ALDI supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
    The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.
    Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager,
    "Some old <deleted> outside wants to buy half a head of lettuce."
    As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
    The manager approved the deal and the man went on his... way.
    Later, the manager said to the boy...........
    "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"
    "New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
    "Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.
    The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players
    there."
    "Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from New Zealand!"
    "Really?" replied the boy, "Who did she play for?"
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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Karen’s dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman:
    Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman. I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a cheque.
    "Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!"
    When the repairman arrived at Karen’s flat the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
    The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
    Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled. "Shut up, you stupid, poxy bird!"
    To which the parrot replied. "Get him, Spike!
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    Elderly American expat falls to his death in Chiang Mai 

    in Chiang Mai News

    Posted

    1 hour ago, steven100 said:

    something doesn't ad up ... but she ( the wife )  has it all covered. She went next door to the studio room in the morning ... then it was presumed he fell at around 12.00 noon, so she didn't bother to yell out to him or check on him between morning and 12.00 noon, no would you like a cup of tea dear or anything  ??   I'm not buying this one bit ....     this is so suspicious ... imo

    too many answers from she !!   many gaps here and if I were the police I would be extremely suspicious ....  folks don't go around falling out of their own apartment windows.

     

     

    ''if I were the police I would be extremely suspicious'' err you do realise this is Thailand?

    • Haha 3

    Opinion: Bad review of Koh Chang hotel: The only real loser is Thai tourism

    in Thailand News

    Posted

    1 hour ago, aroiaroi said:

    I was refering to the intent behind the contact attempts: ill willed and disingenuous.

    There is a big difference between reaching out with the intent of resolving a situation aimicably vs take down requests backed by legal threats & jail time threats.

    The hotel has obviously phrased it this way in order to cover themselves legally and make themselves look reasonable. I suppose it's fooled some - but it's not too difficult (shouldn't be) to read between the lines and get the context.
     

    So you say, I read it differently, as far as I can see they just wanted him to stop the slander but his refusal to respond to their attempts until they used the law speaks for itself.

    • Like 1

    Opinion: Bad review of Koh Chang hotel: The only real loser is Thai tourism

    in Thailand News

    Posted

    4 hours ago, aroiaroi said:

    "Sort out the matter?" Normal business procedures might try and reach some compromise but there is no no evidence of that intent. based on the charges laid, it's not unreasonable to say the hotel made contact with ill intent. In Other words, "sorting out" the matter = escalating take down threats, legal threats, culminating in charges. 

     

     

    ''but there is no no evidence of that intent'' au contraire, there is plenty of evidence they made numerous attepts to contact him to no avail, he just kept on slandering them. He's had his chance now let the courts decide, after all TiT!

    • Thanks 1

    Opinion: Bad review of Koh Chang hotel: The only real loser is Thai tourism

    in Thailand News

    Posted

    On 10/1/2020 at 3:12 AM, camble said:

    This resort owes the customer a free weekend in their finest suite for having to spend a weekend in jail, and with no corkage fees.

    Not a chance, his fault, the hotel is in the right here, ''The hotel claims they tried to contact the complainant to sort out the matter but he only stopped when police got in touch and took him to jail in Koh Chang.''

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