5 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting all day for you", the policeman said.

The kid replied: "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up: "Low Bridge Ahead".

Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the front of the truck, puts his hands on his hips.

"Got stuck, eh?" asks the cop.

"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her ”Darling, would you give me a blow job?"

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"

Him (horny as hel_l): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"

Her: "No, no. I just can't"

Him: "I beg you ... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..."

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scots man at a bar.

The English man says "I went into me daughters bedroom the other day and found a packet of fags" then says "the thing is I didn't realised she smoked"

The Scots man then says "I had a similar experience; I went into my daughters bedroom and found a bottle of vodka" he says "the thing is I didn't realise she drank"

The Irish man then said "The same thing happened to me; I went into my daughters bedroom and found a packet of condoms" he then says "The thing is I didn't realise she had a penis."

A blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hailstorm. The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the panel beaters. The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to have a little fun. He tells her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe, really hard, and all the dents will just pop out. The blonde drives home, gets out of the car, gets down on her hands and knees and starts blowing into the tail pipe.

Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happens.

Meanwhile, her roommate, also a blonde, comes home and asks, "What in the world are you doing?"

The blonde car owner tells her how the panel beater had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the hailed dents to pop out. Her blonde roommate rolls her eyes and says, "hel_l-OOOO! Don't you think you should roll up the windows first?

[Crossy]

Just for you

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[In the Rai!]

Just for you

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[Grover]

A good set of jokes