Marrying a "rich" westerner may not be a "dream come true" - says BBC

[JLCrab]

18 minutes ago, smotherb said:

My old grandpappy always said, "You can love a rich girl just as much as a poor one, maybe even more."

So your old grandpappy didn't say anything about marrying either of 'em?

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

If someone marries someone 20+ years younger than them, and then sends £400+ to her parents every month, as well as money to the wife, it's pretty clear that there is a business arrangement there. It's not all going to be wonderful. The woman puts up with an old man sweating all over her and the man shells out the cash. I don't think either side can complain.

 

I think a better example is where a Thai woman marries a Western man and thinks she will no longer have to work and will go and live in a big house in the West, only to find that her new husband has few job prospects back home, not much money, and is forced to scraped by on a meager teacher's salary in Thailand.

So, if you marry a woman your own age, or even older, "and then sends £400+ to her parents every month, as well as money to the wife," then it is pretty clear it is NOT a business arrangement? 

 

What does age have to do with it? Old age does not have the corner on sweat, bad breath, poor personality, obesity, loutishness and foul odor. It seems to me, no matter your age, if you give money to the parents and to your wife, it is a business arrangement.

[The Deerhunter]

16 minutes ago, tryasimight said:

I got the impression he was overseas sending money to both wifey and the in laws

Me too.  Not really what I felt the program was meant to be about.   Maybe he is not the only one sending money if our more cynical correspondents are to be believed.

[The Deerhunter]

3 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

So your old grandpappy didn't say anything about marrying either of 'em?

Like the old sailors toast. "To our wives and girlfriends.  May they never meet."

[SGD]

Many dream of marrying a rich foreigner but the reality is that that marry a guy who truthfully would be poor in the west or only has one asset and limited ability to earn.

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, JLCrab said:

So your old grandpappy didn't say anything about marrying either of 'em?

Yes, he said marriage is for fools, but I thought the other was more appropriate for this forum.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

53 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

of course you wouldn't... you seem extremely proud of that... I would be terribly embarrassed by it - to each his own. 

 

I am sorry if this offends you, but I would rather support my own mother (who would be so proud to see me featured in an article like this, I'm sure)  than some Isaan family that thinks less than a dog of me and probably less than a cockroach if I don't give a monthly allowance.

 

Personally, I find the entire article shameful and disgusting. Marrying a rich Westerner, building a house, neighbor jealousy, pictures of toasters and new cars in the yard, family bragging about their new found status..... just how low can you go to abandon your Western values for some Thai behind? 

 

You are the one who should be embarrassed..... butt like you said....to each his own. 

 

 

[tryasimight]

5 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

I am sorry if this offends you, but I would rather support my own mother (who would be so proud to see me featured in an article like this, I'm sure)  than some Isaan family that thinks less than a dog of me and probably less than a cockroach if I don't give a monthly allowance.

 

Personally, I find the entire article shameful and disgusting. Marrying a rich Westerner, building a house, neighbor jealousy, pictures of toasters and new cars in the yard, family bragging about their new found status..... just how low can you go to abandon your Western values for some Thai behind? 

 

You are the one who should be embarrassed..... butt like you said....to each his own. 

 

 

As low as sponging off your wife?

[Zack61]

Never put into it any more than you can afford or are prepared to lose. 

Ideally, find an orphan with no siblings to put you on a more even grounding. It can be a long hard grind when there is a family element to contend with and for god's sake learn how to say "no". This may test their commitment to the relationship before it progresses too far and if it does then there are plenty more waiting in the wings. 

Being treated like an ATM is not a good place to be and so its worth the effort to find a keeper who doesn't behold to this way of thinking. Take your time before committing too much and set a few tests along the way to eke out the real person she may or may not be. 

Happy hunting and good luck. Take your time it's not a race. 

[IAMHERE]

3 hours ago, Boon Mee said:

Married to a Farang vs a poor rice farmer? 

 

Tough choice... 

I've read where many Thai ladies seem to get the best of both worlds. 

 

 

[nycjoe]

I live in Isaan, my wife is 39 and I am 72. I am helping her raise a 9 year old from a previous thai man who left for a younger woman and never gave a penny for his son. I built a house on 12 rai of land and have 25 rai close to the river.

We have been together for 5 years and we are very happy. My home is a little eden with fruit trees and a beautiful garden.  Her family are hard workers who do not drink or smoke. Whenever we have some harvesting. The whole family comes to help. Everyone in her family are more capable than I as they know how to build from bamboo, do their own plumbing and electric. They had too as they have no money to have anyone else do anything for them. 

Had I been in the USA I would be looking forward to a nursing home. My wife does not spend money on makeup or clothing. Is not interested in jewelry and has a solid moral compass. I consider myself truly blessed. We have a good partnership. That is true for the majority of my Farang friends here too. She is a great cook to boot. 

[Ossy]

3 hours ago, Borzandy said:

never seen a woman with an Adam's apple like this one.....

That's the 'no-hands' mike, stupid

[mauGR1]

17 minutes ago, tryasimight said:

As low as sponging off your wife?

Well, being a walking ATM is not so glorious either..

[Ossy]

7 hours ago, webfact said:

 

Marrying a "rich" westerner may not be a "dream come true" - says BBC

 

 

 

The kid is fattening up nicely, too. Looks sharp, interested in the 'happy mum' debate and all set to make a useless passenger of himself, on the farang free train to nowhere.

[sawadee1947]

That woman with the tumor in in video could be happy. The "husband" might pay a treatment with probably expensive medication.

[xylophone]

26 minutes ago, SGD said:

Many dream of marrying a rich foreigner but the reality is that that marry a guy who truthfully would be poor in the west or only has one asset and limited ability to earn.

Have to agree with you there and this has been said on many threads similar to this subject – – relatively poor guy in the UK (for example) seems to be wealthy to some of the poorer girls from the likes of Isaan, until they find out too late that this isn't the case.

 

There are those girls on the other hand who really do like to play fast and loose, even when they have found the "wealthy millionaire".

 

One particularly attractive girl who was around 26 years old married a sophisticated French guy (about 46 I would say) who was very wealthy and he bought her a car, an apartment here and just about everything she wanted, as well as flying her back to Paris for visits and holidays, and she had it made.

 

However it seems as if she just couldn't forget the lure of the nightlife here and the "paid easy sex" and whilst her husband was in France, she was offering herself around at 3000 baht a short time. I had known her before she got married and on her visit back to Patong she approached me with the offer above and I chastised her somewhat saying that she had everything that a Thai girl could want yet she was in danger of throwing it all away for a 3000 baht short time (she then said 1500 baht!!).

 

So to all intents and purposes she had "her dream come true" but threw it all away, because the husband found out about her infidelity through friends and ditched her and the last I saw of her was about three or four years later when she looked very haggard and unhappy.

[tryasimight]

7 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

Well, being a walking ATM is not so glorious either..

I would not know....I have no experience in that area.

[Bob Life]

"I only work baa 3 months"

[JLCrab]

42 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Yes, he said marriage is for fools, but I thought the other was more appropriate for this forum.

So to condense a few of the above per Old Grandaddy: Marriage is for fools and, rich or poor, may our girlfriends never meet.

[tryasimight]

2 minutes ago, Bob Life said:

"I only work baa 3 months"

You are from New Zealand?

Is it a 3 months on 3 months off arrangement?

[SGD]

2 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Have to agree with you there and this has been said on many threads similar to this subject – – relatively poor guy in the UK (for example) seems to be wealthy to some of the poorer girls from the likes of Isaan, until they find out too late that this isn't the case.

 

There are those girls on the other hand who really do like to play fast and loose, even when they have found the "wealthy millionaire".

 

One particularly attractive girl who was around 26 years old married a sophisticated French guy (about 46 I would say) who was very wealthy and he bought her a car, an apartment here and just about everything she wanted, as well as flying her back to Paris for visits and holidays, and she had it made.

 

However it seems as if she just couldn't forget the lure of the nightlife here and the "paid easy sex" and whilst her husband was in France, she was offering herself around at 3000 baht a short time. I had known her before she got married and on her visit back to Patong she approached me with the offer above and I chastised her somewhat saying that she had everything that a Thai girl could want yet she was in danger of throwing it all away for a 3000 baht short time (she then said 1500 baht!!).

 

So to all intents and purposes she had "her dream come true" but threw it all away, because the husband found out about her infidelity through friends and ditched her and the last I saw of her was about three or four years later when she looked very haggard and unhappy.

 

The oft used term is that you can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl and it is very often an apt summary.

 

It isn't the cash. Some these days give the sex away but like moths to the flame, they cannot give up the nightlife.

 

Perhaps it should be easier to understand. For many, they had little and were never viewed as pretty. Suddenly, they have free disposable cash and a seemingly unlimited amount of new cash available either at the end of a phone, Western Union or from spreading their legs. They have no respect for that money or what it took to earn it.

 

Thus, the ability to party in the nightlife they thought was hitherto unobtainable and reserved for others, is very hard to give up. In my experience, it is the loss of this freedom which breaks most relationships when the (usually much older) guy wants to move away from 7 day a week partying.

[mauGR1]

6 minutes ago, tryasimight said:

I would not know....I have no experience in that area.

If you look around you might see a few.

[HooHaa]

4 hours ago, inThailand said:

Marrying a "rich" westerner may not be a "dream come true" 

 

Kinda the same as....

marrying a poor Isaan girl may not be a dream come true?

or just marrying may not be a dream come true?

[KOZMO]

Many Thai girls that married to Americans during the Viet Nam war had not even finished 4th grade. Now  after

living the American life style, learning to drive, and getting a job are happy to stay in the U.S.A.  The majority of them do not want to go back to Thailand, even after there husband has passed on. Eglin AFB, the largest base in America has thousands of Thais living there. Have allot of close friends that have passed on, yet the wife says she will live in America.They say they will visit family every few years but will not give up living in America. I was shocked to find out how many Thais did not even return to Thailand after being married at all !!! Never !!! 

 

Only reason i come here is because my wife of 44 years has had Parkinsons and 2 Strokes. We have my son and his wife living here, plus a few relatives. She is 75 years old and  after seeing the abuse in Nursing homes we decided to come here. I Home-cared for her for 6 + years. And after tearing my rotator cuff twice, the doctor said he could not repair it again. She worked hard and because of that and my Military retirement were able to buy a townhouse close to the main hospitals in Korat. I tried the 1 year Retirement Visa, but after 10 months was going stir crazy here. Every year since 2009 Immigration would change the rules or requirements. Thailand has changed since the 70's and i no longer find it to be the LOS like it used to be. I fly back and forth each year to enjoy my lifestyle in America and come here to spend time with my wife. I also have many Medical problems that i have taken care of in America because the Doctors here are deaf to anything you say. Twice i was almost killed by Thai Doctors because of drug interactions, even as i provided a list of my meds. Between Web MD and calling my Doctors in America i was able to avoid a Heart attack  and a Stroke. If you take meds from your home country better check before you take any given here !!! 

If you want to buy a house in Issan, get a pick-up for dear old dad and want to hope your wife stays with you, Good Luck!!! For every success i have heard of at least 2 failures, so 1 out of 3 ain't bad??? Lot's of good Lawyers in Bangkok. Get it written down and signed by your wife that everything you acquire after marriage is half yours !!! Or soon you could be crying in your beer !!!

 

[Jeremy50]

3 hours ago, sanemax said:

Are there still a lot of older Westerners coming to Thailand and getting married?

I did used to see quite a lot of them in bars and I hardly see any these days

Has anyone else noticed a decline in Westerners looking for a Thai bride ?

Go to any Tesco in Issarn, and you will soon have your answer. I am often surprised by how old the Thai wives are, really not much of an age difference, 20 years maybe. Nearly always some kids being dragged along, more often than not , clearly not his. The adopted kids are also much more likely to be girls for some reason. The guy in the video looks nice enough, and young, but sits there looking like a dummy, for he understands not a word his wife is going on about. How does he support himself? What on earth does he do with his time? And why would he leave Switzerland to live with an extended family of Thai peasants who are all depending on him financially? Beats me.

[4MyEgo]

I simply cannot understand any cultural differences in any country, as it doesn't affect my marriage.

 

The simple fact of the matter is how you want your marriage to be, having first hand experience from a previous marriage to a Greek wanna be Princes who's parents were still changing her nappies for her and the mother still breast feeding her and being involved in every decision she made, suffice to say the marriage ended for the better.

 

Marriage number 2 to a Thai and going 10 years strong with no involvement from the inlaw/outlaws, depending on your definition, i.e. I spelt it out to the girls before we wed, i.e. when we marry, I will be marrying you, not your family, our circle of "love" will be exclusive to us, and us alone, until we have children, when they will join our circle, no one from the outside will have any say or influence on us or our decisions, if you agree with that, then we move forward, nothing has changed in 10 years, she keeps the blood hounds at bay, they have tied and tired and tried to blow the house down several times, to no avail, they learnt to keep at bay, we see each other at birthdays etc etc, or if the mother in law has a gripe with the father in law and needs to release some stress to the daughter, which is seldom and suits me fine, the other sister had a farang who was throwing the money around like he had it, bit I saw through him, and they lapped it up, the sister had him build a 3 million baht house, 1 million was the overpricing which she got back from the hardware, and the family pissed it up the wall showing off to everyone, even wanted to borrow 500,000 baht from us to show off as the sin sot, but I wasn't having a bar of it, and my wife was fine with that.

 

Sure is a farang marries a Thai girl who has been supporting her family and he takes her with him overseas, sure send the family 10,000 baht a month, more if he wants, but should be based on what her earning were before she went overseas, personally I can't stand soft C..k farangs who want to spend it up big to show their new inlaws how stupid they are, the marriage is between the Thai girl and the farang guy, and inlaws/outlaws want to show off, then they should do it out of their pocket.

 

I am known as the rich farang who built the daughter a big house and bought her a new car, but gave nothing to the parents, except for a 200,000 sin sot 10 years ago, she looks after me, and I look after her, she has 4 land parcels in the village that she never had before, a big new house, a 2 year old car, money in the bank which they have tried to get their hands on several times, but the same amount of 300,000 baht remains untouched from 10 years ago, that was the deal, 200,000 sin sot for mum and dad, 300,000 in your account not to be touched unless its an emergency for you.

 

There are good ones around and there are rotten ones around, suffice to say, no point in spoiling them, by all means be fair, not a cheap Charlie, but not a sucker either, when I am good and buried, she has her lottery and hasn't had to work in the 10 years she has been with me, works for us, as for the culture, I couldn't give a rats a..   

[theguyfromanotherforum]

28 minutes ago, tryasimight said:

As low as sponging off your wife?

 

Haters gonna hate... but me let me school you on relationships a bit. Relationships are about compromise, no?

 

As a non religious man I would never accept a Buddhist wedding. I did, but it was up to wife to come up with a million baht sinsod. She did. Compromise.

 

I generously offered to pay for rent while living in her house. To this day she refuses, so I pay for all the vacations we take. Compromise.

 

If we decide to live in Canada, she can sponge off me in my condo and I'll even give her spending money. She will have that unique privilege unlike many Thai women because she earned my trust. Compromise.

 

Also, don't blame me for being a bit cynical. Everything I learned about Thai women I learned from people just like you by reading forums.... so forgive me for coming to Thailand fully prepared.

 

Signed - 

 

Sponger 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[tryasimight]

2 minutes ago, Jeremy50 said:

Go to any Tesco in Issarn, and you will soon have your answer. I am often surprised by how old the Thai wives are, really not much of an age difference, 20 years maybe. Nearly always some kids being dragged along, more often than not , clearly not his. The adopted kids are also much more likely to be girls for some reason. The guy in the video looks nice enough, and young, but sits there looking like a dummy, for he understands not a word his wife is going on about. How does he support himself? What on earth does he do with his time? And why would he leave Switzerland to live with an extended family of Thai peasants who are all depending on him financially? Beats me.

I think the guy in the video is not the 60 Swiss that the article mentions. If he is then Isaan is very good for him - knocked years off him.

[maddox41]

6 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

My wife supports me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

So does mine 

[JLCrab]

To TGFAF: There is nothing wrong with having a wife/girlfriend who has the finances to carry some, most, or all of the load. If that is the way, then so what -- if it isn't, and in my case it isn't, that's the way I have it. But neither way is the only way.