Credit: the author

When my wife’s parents became incapable of looking after themselves, they came to live with us.

Both have minor dementia and Father is bedridden and cannot stand or go to the toilet.

After a bit, Father began to refuse food. He is diabetic and on insulin twice a day. At 87, he sleeps a lot so we didn’t pay much attention when he slept for 29 hours. In fact, he looked so peaceful lying there.

I went up to bed and my wife was working on her computer. Then she called the ambulance. He was suffering a diabetic coma with a blood sugar of 11.

Now, what would you think if a really old person refused food? It’s nature’s way of preparing them to go, of course.

Ever since, the old boy has been keep alive in ICU on breathing machines, IV drips and naso-gastric feeding. He is never conscious. Sounds like fun, eh.

I think my wife made a very selfish decision. There is no difference between an ICU and the wat when you’re 87. You’re dead already.

Tip’s parents have been really good to us over 37 years. I love the old boy and hate to see him in this condition. Meaning, death is preferable to torture for no reason.

Abortion is now legal in Thailand, saving the futures of many teenagers. I hope some parliamentarian will introduce a euthanasia bill here for death with dignity.

I have a Living Will, an Advance Directive and a Do Not Rescusitate order. I want to check out in my own bed. (Not quite yet, though, in case any of my fans are hoping!)

I feel for you.

My 93 year old step father stopped eating because everything would pass right through. Digestive system was shot,became very embarrassing for him, eat, crap pants. We had round the clock care, but after about three months of refusing to eat unless forced to, he passed (2023). I'm with you, I don't think keeping your father in law in a hospital is anything but profiteering by the hospital. My step Dad passed in his sleep in his own bed.

After three years on her own, I have moved Mom into assisted living as her mobility is terrible, creeps along with a walker and her cognitive decline is horrendous. No critical thinking. Hearing is horrible, can't hear her phone ring, has congestive heart issues, won't make food for herself thus I now have her surrounded with health care workers, an in house restaurant etc. This assisted living facility is like a Vegas hotel. Movie theater, library, exercise classes ( I wish she would use but no motivation).

The industry calls it "the big event". You want to be ahead of that with the elderly. For my step Dad we had round the clock care, for my Mom I'm ahead of that in having her in a place where if the "big event", stroke, heart attack etc. happens, there are people there to jump on it.

Wishing you the best with your situation sir.

6 hours ago, unblocktheplanet said:

I think my wife made a very selfish decision. There is no difference between an ICU and the wat when you’re 87. You’re dead already.

Not sure selfish is the correct way to interpret it.

Not everyone has the same opinion about euthanasia.

It's a challenging ordeal to have to go through and wish you all the best.

6 hours ago, unblocktheplanet said:

(Not quite yet, though, in case any of my fans are hoping!)

No, we want you to stick around so we can bust your chops.

8 hours ago, unblocktheplanet said:

Credit: the author

When my wife’s parents became incapable of looking after themselves, they came to live with us.

Both have minor dementia and Father is bedridden and cannot stand or go to the toilet.

After a bit, Father began to refuse food. He is diabetic and on insulin twice a day. At 87, he sleeps a lot so we didn’t pay much attention when he slept for 29 hours. In fact, he looked so peaceful lying there.

I went up to bed and my wife was working on her computer. Then she called the ambulance. He was suffering a diabetic coma with a blood sugar of 11.

Now, what would you think if a really old person refused food? It’s nature’s way of preparing them to go, of course.

Ever since, the old boy has been keep alive in ICU on breathing machines, IV drips and naso-gastric feeding. He is never conscious. Sounds like fun, eh.

I think my wife made a very selfish decision. There is no difference between an ICU and the wat when you’re 87. You’re dead already.

Tip’s parents have been really good to us over 37 years. I love the old boy and hate to see him in this condition. Meaning, death is preferable to torture for no reason.

Abortion is now legal in Thailand, saving the futures of many teenagers. I hope some parliamentarian will introduce a euthanasia bill here for death with dignity.

I have a Living Will, an Advance Directive and a Do Not Rescusitate order. I want to check out in my own bed. (Not quite yet, though, in case any of my fans are hoping!)

Did you tell your wife all of your opinions face to face? I think whatever actions are taken should be her choice, not yours. Your role in all of this is to provide support and comfort for your wife, regardless of what she decides to do.

However, I do agree with your point of view. I have seen several times where a dog or cat gets hit by a car, is in great pain and distress, is not going to get better, and the Thai people in my building refuse to put it out of its misery. I have respectfully expressed my opinion to them, but they disagree and genuinely feel that nature should take its course. In the future I will keep my opinions to myself.

Have been in ICU twice here in Thailand, one time they wanted to cut off my left leg below knee. Wife said 'No', I recovered and still aged 71 ride a Ninja 650.

Wife has been told if I fall ill, have a fall whatever happens and it leaves me bedridden, or unable to wash or wipe my backside to let me go. Being very active all my life would hate to be trapped in an inactive body.

Wife refuses to say she will do, only says I will take care you.

There is no right answer.

Universal world-wide issue as medical care has advanced so being near death , yet not dead, and havi ng no hope of recovery is just a money-maker. I am 75. My 2 grandparents on my dads side both died in their late 70s. Within months of one another. God I LOVED my grandparents. All of them. My moms mom got hit by a car. But i have made plans for my next journey. I have told my wife.."my bags are packed. I am ready to go when the time comes. Do not even THINK of bringing me back to be a carrot, and do NOT keep me as a pet carrot." Her parents are beginning to see the end. I remember when her mother's mother passed (at somewhere near 91.... she did not even know how old she was..) My mother was sharp as a tack til her heart stopped at 91. Stayed in her own condo by herself. I did the shopping, driving etc. But she enjoyed her life to the end. Thank God. Dementia is such a terrible curse we have come to know in a deep and personal manner..... almost everyone knows someone. My favorite aunt had dementia. I had not seen her in 10 years, and went WAY oughta my way to drop by and say hello. She answered the door.... and instantly had this incredibly frightened loook on her face. I couldn't understand...until her husband ( my uncle) walked up behind her shaking his head. She just stood there staring at me like I was some monster. She was so frightened. I broke down in tears.. said bye to my uncle and walked away. Sobbed in my car for 10-15 minutes. I pray... I pray HARD that her parents, and I ...do not become such a burden on family. I do not have any answers. I just pray my wife does not have to face it with her parents...or me.

12 hours ago, Priorexpat said:

I feel for you.

My 93 year old step father stopped eating because everything would pass right through. Digestive system was shot,became very embarrassing for him, eat, crap pants. We had round the clock care, but after about three months of refusing to eat unless forced to, he passed (2023). I'm with you, I don't think keeping your father in law in a hospital is anything but profiteering by the hospital. My step Dad passed in his sleep in his own bed.

After three years on her own, I have moved Mom into assisted living as her mobility is terrible, creeps along with a walker and her cognitive decline is horrendous. No critical thinking. Hearing is horrible, can't hear her phone ring, has congestive heart issues, won't make food for herself thus I now have her surrounded with health care workers, an in house restaurant etc. This assisted living facility is like a Vegas hotel. Movie theater, library, exercise classes ( I wish she would use but no motivation).

The industry calls it "the big event". You want to be ahead of that with the elderly. For my step Dad we had round the clock care, for my Mom I'm ahead of that in having her in a place where if the "big event", stroke, heart attack etc. happens, there are people there to jump on it.

Wishing you the best with your situation sir.

I would not suggest this to anyone. But for me and my loved ones, euthanasia is the kindest path. Very sorry to hear about your Mum. Such cares eats up saving really fast. Than again, they worked hard to provide us university. What goes around comes around.

4 hours ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

Did you tell your wife all of your opinions face to face? I think whatever actions are taken should be her choice, not yours. Your role in all of this is to provide support and comfort for your wife, regardless of what she decides to do.

However, I do agree with your point of view. I have seen several times where a dog or cat gets hit by a car, is in great pain and distress, is not going to get better, and the Thai people in my building refuse to put it out of its misery. I have respectfully expressed my opinion to them, but they disagree and genuinely feel that nature should take its course. In the future I will keep my opinions to myself.

Yes, I did, but, of course, such discussions are fraught with peril. Yes, maybe "selfish" is too harsh a word. When you look at your father lying there, the instinct we've been taught is to call the ambuland ave "save him".

But once you're in that loop, you're screwed. Docs & hospitals keep torturing him to "keep him alive". He's not alive, he's not the Father I love. There is no 'what she decides to do' anymore, it's out of our hands. And of course, as time goes on, family visits less--only one hour is allowed. 3 hours on the train and 3 hours back. It's a full-time job just to get there. I mean, you reach the point where there are no more tears, right.

I'm a vegetarian. I'd likely kill the dog or cat which wasn't going to make it as I hope someone would do for me. Thank you, my friend.

I am not sure if they do things differently out here in the Issan sticks, but when someone is close to death, the family members are called in to make some final decisions if the one dying can not. A guy in his 30's fell out of a tree and ended up breaking his neck. He was on life support and could only answer questions by blinking his eyes. After the family came in, they called the doctor in and had him ask the guy if he wanted to go home. He blinked "yes" knowing it would mean being removed from life support. He died within a week.

As for me, when the time comes, I am thinking about arranging a HOT-AIR balloon accident.

Seems, somehow, appropriate in my case.

I would like to sit in a Hot-Air balloon, with a trap door.

I could sail up high, and then activate the trap door.

Or, FAR BETTER, actually....

I could tie myself to a few weather balloons, and sail on up into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

This weather balloon idea of mine is the best: I think, for me, HYPOXIA is best.

And, I could get one final glimpse from on high, before sailing on up to heaven.

The trick is to take this final airship voyage early enough, and not wait too long.

2 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I could tie myself to a few weather balloons, and sail on up into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

What fantastic idea!

We could all on AN breathe so much more easily realising that we would never again be subjected your monotonously longwinded meaningless crap posts ever again!

52 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

As for me, when the time comes, I am thinking about arranging a HOT-AIR balloon accident.

Seems, somehow, appropriate in my case.

I would like to sit in a Hot-Air balloon, with a trap door.

I could sail up high, and then activate the trap door.

Or, FAR BETTER, actually....

I could tie myself to a few weather balloons, and sail on up into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

This weather balloon idea of mine is the best: I think, for me, HYPOXIA is best.

And, I could get one final glimpse from on high, before sailing on up to heaven.

The trick is to take this final airship voyage early enough, and not wait too long.

You're actually Lawnchair Larry!

46 minutes ago, Etaoin Shrdlu said:

You're actually Lawnchair Larry!

I disagree as lawn chairs are useful and relaking!

A euthanasia bill would be useful. But it often requires patients to leave a kind of "will" stating they don't want to be kept alive at all costs. And many elderly people are too lazy to put such a thing in writing, or they keep putting it off until it's too late. I know it from a country where euthanasia is notoriously legal and you're supposed to fill in a form that is kept at town hall where you reside.

1 hour ago, JackGats said:

A euthanasia bill would be useful. But it often requires patients to leave a kind of "will" stating they don't want to be kept alive at all costs. And many elderly people are too lazy to put such a thing in writing, or they keep putting it off until it's too late. I know it from a country where euthanasia is notoriously legal and you're supposed to fill in a form that is kept at town hall where you reside.

Sounds like Switzerland or Netherlands. Not town halls in Canada. The point of these Advance Directives is, if you get smucked, they'll try to save you anyway.

I have all these on files at my two hospitals but I certainly don't trust them to honour it.

22 hours ago, unblocktheplanet said:

Yes, I did, but, of course, such discussions are fraught with peril. Yes, maybe "selfish" is too harsh a word. When you look at your father lying there, the instinct we've been taught is to call the ambuland ave "save him".

But once you're in that loop, you're screwed. Docs & hospitals keep torturing him to "keep him alive". He's not alive, he's not the Father I love. There is no 'what she decides to do' anymore, it's out of our hands. And of course, as time goes on, family visits less--only one hour is allowed. 3 hours on the train and 3 hours back. It's a full-time job just to get there. I mean, you reach the point where there are no more tears, right.

I'm a vegetarian. I'd likely kill the dog or cat which wasn't going to make it as I hope someone would do for me. Thank you, my friend.

Not an easy situation at all

I faced the same dilemma with my father when he was 98

My very aggressive sister had different views to me- and a rational conversation was impossible with her

Fortunately nature took its course quicky- but the issues raise still linger 5 years later

Very hard position to be in here. I gave my Thai hospitality a copy of my do not resuscitate or keep me alive with any machines. They took it, but I was told by my doctor that they would not follow the request. I’m not sure that’s the case in all Thai hospitals, but it sure didn’t make me happy.

I had to take my mother out of the hospital when they were just doing anything to keep her alive. She was miserable and her body was full of cancer which got to the hallucinating point. After a good battle with the doctor we were able to get her home and hospice would have come in a couple days to set everything up. She was scared the first day, then she sat in the bed with her dog chatting about everything in life and we laughed so much and she wanted her favorite meal, however she passed away peacefully in the evening. Obviously she felt ready to go. So glad that I didn’t leave her in the hospital. My dad I had to talk with family and have him taken off life support because there was no coming out of his situation. Unfortunately, no food or water, only pain meds, he “lived” another 18 days until his body let him go. I wish they could have euthanized him or an OD so he didn’t have to suffer that long, but at least he went in peace, off of the machines and in a private room with the family. We all should have an option how our lives end if we can, or someone to speak for us and tell them our wishes.

On 8/14/2026 at 3:39 AM, ColeBOzbourne said:

Did you tell your wife all of your opinions face to face? I think whatever actions are taken should be her choice, not yours. Your role in all of this is to provide support and comfort for your wife, regardless of what she decides to do.

However, I do agree with your point of view. I have seen several times where a dog or cat gets hit by a car, is in great pain and distress, is not going to get better, and the Thai people in my building refuse to put it out of its misery. I have respectfully expressed my opinion to them, but they disagree and genuinely feel that nature should take its course. In the future I will keep my opinions to myself.

The Buddhist way when life suffers is generally not to deliberately end it. Ending the body does not necessarily end the cycle of suffering, and taking life interferes with the karmic process. The aim is instead to reduce suffering and let death come naturally.

But from my experience, when people are old or severely ill, there is also an acceptance of death. They do not necessarily try to prolong life with unnecessary or costly medical treatment either.

On 8/14/2026 at 8:39 AM, ColeBOzbourne said:

.... a dog or cat gets hit by a car, is in great pain and distress, is not going to get better, and the Thai people in my building refuse to put it out of its misery.

Yep, another offshoot from religion that flies in the face of reason. In this case, Buddhism -- but other world religions, like Christianity and Islam, have equally ridiculous offshoots, that really lead to some serious head scratching.

The Preacher and the Slave, song lyrics

http://www.protestsonglyrics.net/Miscellaneous_Songs/Preacher-Slave.phtml

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHyGpFncovU

I like Utah Phillips' version best. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHyGpFncovU

Year: c.1911

To the tune of "Sweet Bye and Bye"

Long-haired preachers come out every night,
Try to tell you what's wrong and what's right;
But when asked how 'bout something to eat
They will answer with voices so sweet:

(CHORUS:)
You will eat, bye and bye,
In that glorious land above the sky;
Work and pray, live on hay,
You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

And the starvation army they play,
And they sing and they clap and they pray,
Till they get all your coin on the drum,
Then they tell you when you're on the bum:
(CHORUS)
Holy Rollers and Jumpers come out,
And they holler, they jump and they shout
"Give your money to Jesus," they say,
"He will cure all diseases today."

(CHORUS)

If you fight hard for children and wife,
Try to get something good in this life,
You're a sinner and bad man, they tell,
When you die you will sure go to hell.
(CHORUS)
Workingmen of all countries, unite,
Side by side we for freedom will fight:
When the world and its wealth we have gained
To the grafters we'll sing this refrain:

(LAST CHORUS:)
You will eat, bye and bye,
When you've learned how to cook and to fry;
Chop some wood, 'twill do you good,
And you'll eat in the sweet bye and bye.

Notes:

1 - The Preacher and the Slave is sometimes known by the titles, Pie in the Sky, or Long Haired Preachers, which was its original title.

2 - This song is the origin of the term "pie in the sky".

3 - For more information on the life and death of Joe Hill, in Wikipedia.

Edited August 15Aug 15 by unblocktheplanet
add

When my Thai niece died a few years ago from TB, the good Thai doctor at the hospital offered Morphine 'to help her on her way to the next life'. As she was already in a coma and with no chance of recovery, the offer was accepted. I was a little surprised that a Thai would make such an offer to end her life, but it was very much appreciated.

"...And, I could get one final glimpse from on high, before sailing on up to heaven...."

But you wouldn't!. The balloons would expand in the lower density of the upper atmosphere and eventually - like weather balloons - pop! And you would come falling down at terminal velocity and upset someone's breakast as they sit on their Pattaya balcony........