You know you have been in Thailand too long when you no longer need to post in TV

When you start noticing topics looping back again on TV

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=3662

- when you get annoyed of constant reminders from other thaivisa members, telling you that a particular subject has been discussed before.

Oh relax.... it made good reading.

When you go up to a fat bloke you have never met and ask "how many babies?" while patting him on the gut.

When you are that fat bloke receiving the patting, think nothing of it and mechanically reply "Yeah, baby Singha...two"

when things go tits up

and youv've still got a smile on your face

when you start thinking Thai women are unsexy and long for a big-assed Swedish blonde.

when looking at new houses, the most important thing is are there decent trees for hanging up the hammock.

when people say, 'welcome to thailand', you say ###### off.

Edited January 19, 200719 yr by Neeranam

When on one of your rare visits to farangland, you can't figure out why people on the street does not smile at you when you make eye contact.

when you start thinking Thai women are unsexy and long for a big-assed Swedish blonde.

when looking at new houses, the most important thing is are there decent trees for hanging up the hammock.

when people say, 'welcome to thailand', you say ###### off.

Seriously Neeranam chill out !

When you think Thai women are unsexy .... you have a problem.

As for the "welcome to Thailand thing" the only time I had

that kind of reaction was in New York when a grinning goon

told me to "have a nice day".

I always had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying

"F*uck you too". I do feel the equivalent in LOS has a

smidgeon more sincerity.

Back on topic , I'm not sure "too long in Thailand" is a

good heading but :

When you just smile and say "yeah" when the pretty

lady says you are a "handsum man"

When you know that "love you long time" refers to

hours not days.

When you have bought coffee and asked for the bill

thus using up 70% of your Thai vocabulary and the

cashier tells you from Phuket and you ask her how

she knew that and she tells you from your accent.

When you don't mind to buy your medicine in a pharmacy where a dog is laying on the floor.

When you think the red traffic light is when you have to speed up.

When you don't notice that a pack of 5 donuts is more expensive then 5 single donuts.

When you visit your parents at home and ask them where the waterspray in the toilet has gone.

When a friend invites you to a classy restaurant and you order a fried rice.

If you go visit your homecountry and you wonder why you don't get free water with your meals at the restaurant.

When you have 7 credit cards and use 1 to pay off the other.

When, to impress your friends, you show pictures of yourself in starbucks loading your coffee with sugar.

When a trip to Isaan to visit the inlaws and stay in a dusty shack is a highlight.

when you start thinking Thai women are unsexy

sorry cant EVER imagining that happening to moi.....

When you rip out your bathroom suite and install a squat toilet.

When tourists trying to speak Thai really irritate you.

When any beverage without sugar might as well be water.

When you've long since given up following or caring about the news back home.

When the aromas from the roadside 'squiddy' vendor make you hungry.

When you can't remember that fruit grows on trees, not in plastic bags.

When you no longer spare even a passing thought for the family's toothbrushes in the restaurant bathroom.

.....When the deciding factor for buying a new car is how fast it can accelate from 60 to 160km/hr.

.........When the horn wears out before the brakes do

............When you are conviced that traffic or any other rules are made just to annoy people and should be ignored

Edited January 20, 200719 yr by Momo8

When you can't think of a better thing to cool down on a hot day than a nice cold bag of cola.

You constantly clean your house.... up to eye level.

You unplug anything not currently in use.

when you know Bngkok better than a taxi driver

surely that's not difficult, several times (and this was on my first trip to Bangkok) I ended up giving taxi drivers directions.

If you argue with farangs on this forum as though you are Thai, and take any criticisms of Thais or Thailand very personally...or more to the point, you've forgotten that you are Farang.

Edited January 21, 200719 yr by tropo

When you no longer rule out kathoeys as potential sexual partners.

Or is that just me?... Oh, crap.

Edited January 21, 200719 yr by tycann

When you no longer rule out kathoeys as potential sexual partners.

Or is that just me?... Oh, crap.

Oops. Hope you didn't post your real name anywhere on TV...

When you no longer rule out kathoeys as potential sexual partners.

Or is that just me?... Oh, crap.

Oops. Hope you didn't post your real name anywhere on TV...

...Oh, crap.

....you begin to think that bling-covered t-shirt with meaningless english words is "cute"

....you can fit into thai-sized fashions

....you seriously consider using whitening cream

....you carry an umbrella, and risk poking other pedestrians' eyes out with it every time you have to walk in a patch of sun

....you refer to other expats as "falang"

....you look askance at "falang" in shorts

....you wonder how people can eat falang food, which is so "na bua" and so "jert"

....you can fit into thai-sized fashions

Hmmm, maybe I'm doing something wrong there!!

when you sit in a go go bar, watching soaps on TV

when u consider sleeping one of your hobbies

you no longer understand why a woman would wear silver jewelry

you worry about farangs buying up too much land

You think mama noodles are a health food

You remark that farangs who don't pick their nose in public are "snooty"

You think the Thai rak Thai party loves you too

... you can open the plastic bags containing your food by taking off the rubber band in a split second instead of getting some scissors out.

... you think it's ok to invite 3 guests at a time even though you only have one guest bedroom.

... you don't try to get a tan anymore and even start to feel ashamed for any tanned skin.

... you no longer like to swim in the ocean or go to the beach.

when you can amble slowly along a pavement meandering from one side to the other without noticing the 30 people behind you trying to get past you

if ur a girl and you think nothing of eating noodles, talking on a mobile and putting on make up all at the same time while sitting on the back of a motorcycle driving thru busy traffic

tuk tuk drivers charge you the thai price

you dont like sitting next to other farangs on bts because you find them too smelly and sweaty

you wai spirit shrines because u are afraid of offending the resident ghost

tourists hit on you

you develop an irrational fear of black people

you believe all farangs are rich

when you pose for a picture you show the 'peace sign' with both hands or cup your chin with your thimb and forefinger

Edited January 21, 200719 yr by longway

.you're an expert in removing the rubber band holding every food item you bought from a street vendor and you know how to tie and untie rubber bands in a million ways

..you're driving around town for years with a license that expired a few years ago.

...the policeman that you're bribing is asking for a raise.

....you answer by saying "Khrap" even if you mean CRAP.

.....you're don't think that pink is a feminine color

Edited January 21, 200719 yr by sensei

when you give up all the usual considerations an' start dreamimg about cheeseburgers...