.you're an expert in removing the rubber band holding every food item you bought from a street vendor and you know how to tie and untie rubber bands in a million ways

..you're driving around town for years with a license that expired a few years ago.

...the policeman that you're bribing is asking for a raise.

....you answer by saying "Khrap" even if you mean CRAP.

.....you're don't think that pink is a feminine color

ooops,

YOU don't think that pink is a feminine color...

the error sounded like fingernails on the blackboard...

and maybe that's another point...

you're, beginning to speak English Thai SAtyle...

SAwimming...

Saweetheart...

SAports...

and

SHU-WA

Edited January 21, 200719 yr by sensei

driving 1/2 km past your destination, just so you can make a U-turn to come back, seems perfectly normal

round here .......................

more likely 5 k's up the wrong side just to avoid this scenario ...................

You get turned around at Police roadblocks and apologized to the following day when you meet the aforesaid cop in the morning market.

You given beer at cremations.

It's the norm to go to religous festivals for business reasons.

When you think a tart will not rip you off because you "Kow Jai Thai"

When you start nodding at passing farangs saying ..."farang mai dee na" to your Missus.

When you know what all those whistle blasts mean when you are parking the car!

When you blow your own whistle when parking the car

when the highlight of your day is the issuing of the new baht exchage rate

When you blow your own whistle when parking the car

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

you dont like sitting next to other farangs on bts because you find them too smelly and sweaty

When you can eat durian, dried squid on a stick, stinky fish paste from Isaan AND still won't sit next to a falang cause he's too smelly.

when you go to the shitter and theres no bum gun and you spit the dummy.

When the falang from your home country sitting next to you in the bar starts talking about your home country and you say "mai pen rai" and return to watching the television

When you know that "love you long time" refers to

hours not days.

Thanks for the laugh farangsay!!

Ok, now mine:

When you can walk on a sidewalk that is skewed, crooked, cracked like an airport runway, missing half its cobbles, being worked on by 5 guys in flipflops, has 4 telephone poles, 1 light pole and an electrical pole with 100's of offshoot cables at 6' above the ground and still not have to slow down or miss stride for the family of 5 walking side by side. All this with 10 assorted beers in the belly.

The Tuk Tuk drivers are bored with you and can't understand why you don't go crazy looking at pictures of women sitting on bleachers with some photoshopped soap party.

you know how to cross the street without touching the ground.

you bring a cheap lighter from China that flashes red and blue lights and use it in taxis to see if you can get the cars in front of you to move over.

You actually can understand conversations about sinsod.

When , on a visit back to the World , you look at

a price tag and say "Jeez, that's over 200 baht".

Hahaha Head Snake love the one about the Chinese lighter! You've been here too long.....

..........When you think all women's tits should look like fried eggs and think farang women with big knockers have had them "done"

................When you 're thinking about joining the local kids for a dip in the Chao Praya

.....................When you've got your own water taxi license

.... when you seriously think catching a few spots of rain on the noggin' will make you ill.

.... when you hand back things to people without looking at them assuming they will catch/grasp/take the item in question.

.... when you think saying "huh" when someone didn't hear is rather normal.

.... when your first answer to someone's question is "mai ru".

.... when you think it's perfectly normal staff topping up your beer when you've had one sip.

.... when you think it's quite acceptable when you're out for dinner and they serve the other person's dish when yours is cold already.

Edited January 22, 200719 yr by robenroute

when you dont want to go home and not keen on staying in los

......when you don't want to go home and don't want to leave that'a purely Thai attitude.You've definitely been here too long

when you dont have to ask girl at 7/11 to top up your mobile

When the only threads you follow on TV are the ones

where you just cannot go off-topic because they've

degenerated into pure "stream of consciousness" nonsense.

Squarry, Wobble post.

Edited January 22, 200719 yr by Kan Win

Back to the “Topic” in hand.

Please read the udder “Freds” that were posted on this subject.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...'ve+Been+In

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...'ve+Been+In

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...'ve+Been+In

Yours truly,

Kan Win

P.S. Just skipped to page 10 and posted without reading the udder ones.

Jeez guys , we have an archivist on the team.

Closest I ever came to one of them was 30

years ago in darkest Africa (tugs on his

mustache and takes a pull on his pipe)

(actually no mustache - face hair gives me the

itch let alone the ladies - and pipes taste foul ,

I just said that for effect) and the local mines

had hired one. Trouble was he replied to a letter

in the local gutter press from an East German

praising the government's policies with one

of his own meekly suggesting that foreigners

should not comment on domestic politics.

The paper had barely hit the news stands

when he got PI'd (= Prohibited Immigrant =

local technical expression meaning you had

a whole 48 hours to pack your bags because

YOU ARE LEAVING.)

Karry on Kan Win - just stay out of politics.

Edited January 22, 200719 yr by farangsay

when you dont want to go home and not keen on staying in los

Time to break for the border!

Karry on Kan Win One Kan Soldier on

Will do Kaptain , Roger and out.

Yours truly,

Kan Win (The Kolonel )

P.S. BTW, do you hold a Rank?

Jeez guys , we have an archivist on the team.

Karry on Kan Win

But, I did my duty on those “Freds" BTW, before your where born onto “ThaiVisaDotCom”.

Yours truly,

Kan Win

When you, Mr. Staunch heterosexuality, actually start considering marriage of a preop katoey.

Edited January 22, 200719 yr by papaya9

You're a middle aged man with Winnie the Pooh pillow cases and 101 Dalmation bedsheets.

You look forward to getting the laundry back because the missus really likes the Garfield sheets.

You have hundreds of stupid coffee cups that you've given up trying to convince the family to throw away.

When setting the dinner table it doesn't seem strange to see that any dining table item has no relation to any other item. Each knife, plate, glass etc. is unique.

Just wanted to put in my 2 Baht worth

When you are riding down the main street in the village following a herd of cows being controlled? by a guy on a motorbike and you think to yourself, mai pen rai.

You know it is time to really learn Thai when your 2 year old son talks to you in Thai and you only understand about 30% of what he says.

When you are riding down the main street in the village following a herd of cows being controlled? by a guy on a motorbike and you think to yourself, mai pen rai.

You know it is time to really learn Thai when your 2 year old son talks to you in Thai and you only understand about 30% of what he says but he understands English too.

when you start to see number from tree.

when you start to see number from tree.

and you Win the JackPot on the National Lottery

Yours truly,

Kan Win

when you start to see number from tree.

.... when people post scribbles like these and you can actually understand them.