Some of us were fleeing the scene long before we moved to Thailand. Maybe that's part of why we wound up here.

Or maybe I just need another beer. If I can see the ###### thing. I hate my eyes.

You know its been too long when you start "Fleeing the Scene" instead of dealing with the problem..

When the woman you desire most calls you "my bladder"

You know its been too long when you start "Fleeing the Scene" instead of dealing with the problem..

When the woman you desire most calls you "my bladder"

You know its been too long when you start "Fleeing the Scene" instead of dealing with the problem..

When the woman you desire most calls you "my bladder"

When your TGF/wife tells you to go home and not sit on your motorsi outside the gogo bar because you're scaring off the johns.

When you have your hair cut to look like Japanese cartoon characters.

When you have your hair cut to look like Japanese cartoon characters.

Hey, that's a great look! Oops!

When you buy pirated movies and softwares

When you photocopy copyrighted books...

and...

When you plagiarize without shame...

Actually, I've actively encouraged people here in Asia to plagiarize all the books I've had published in the USA. First in China, then in Thailand. When I decided to put the material from my classes and lectures online, I went back and cited my sources because I, too, had been plagiarizing. But if anybody asks, I deny posting this message. It's all lies!

Someone who is not Michael

When you know which 7/11 you can buy a beer at between 2-5pm

When you know which 7/11 you can buy a beer at between 2-5pm

When you go to the shop next door because you KNOW you can get a cold beer cheaper.

When you go to Villa, look at the selections and marvel, then look at the prices and wonder why a melon costs 10 times the price charged in the local market.

when you walk into any toilet and dont notice the cleaning lady mopping the floor whilst one takes a leak.

When you walk into any toilet and don't care about the lady mopping the floor while you take a crap

When you walk into the toilet and don't freak out when some guy starts to massage you neck and back while you are taking a leak.

when you no longer think it strange when the lady in the toilet starts to scrub it with foaming cleanser just as you start to take your leak

When the guy in the toilet hands you a hot face towel he keeps in the rice cooker, puts his hand out for a tip, then puts the towel back in the rice cooker for the next patron.

When you no longer think it odd to see two small kids in the toilet doing their homework while their parents run their family business there.

When entering a house you walk out of a pair of flip-flops without breaking your stride. (poetry in motion!)

When you have gone through calling Tesco - 'Tesco', then 'Lotus' and finally 'tut'.

When, on your 3-year old daughter's birthday (a Tuesday school night for example), you hire a karaoke system and position the 6 large speakers into one enormous one and then set the volume to '11' (10 being maximum), and then sing badly until 2am.

When living next door to the above, despite the window panes vibrating and the bass booming in your chest, you can go to sleep.........

when "NO" is replaced by "up to you"

When you walk into the toilet and don't freak out when some guy starts to massage you neck and back while you are taking a leak.

When you walk into the toilet and don't freak out when some guy starts to massage you neck and back while you are taking a leak.

Almost 200 posts before this unique asian culture item came up. Way to go Sensei...

must admit the first time I nearly turned around and decked the guy.

Soundman.

When you speak your kids in English & they answer you in thai & the conversation is totally normal.

Soundman.

When the Thai wife discovers to her distress that she is Uaan Mark Mark because she has hit 43 kg and has to go on a diet

When you buy a new toilet brush and the TW uses it to clean the cooking pots because she thinks the little stand for it is cute

When you cringe everytime a tourist orders a beer SingHaaaa or a CHung

When you not only don't care that the girl at 7-11 hands you a straw for your can of beer but you actually use it.

When you don't mind that the beer vendor has poured the beer into a plastic bag full of ice, sticks a straw in it and hands it to you so that he can collect the can

You know that you have been in Thailand too long when you discover that not only do the Mia Yai and the Mia Noi know each other but are actually related and compare notes about your personal habits.

You definitely know you have been in Thailand too long when the Mia Yai and the Mia Noi join forces to beat up on the new Mia Noi Noi because they think that more than two wives is too much

when u fall asleep during a job interview.

When you find yourself watching the katoey beauty pagent and rooting for a contestant.

When you find yourself watching the katoey beauty pagent and think you may have rooted one of the contestants

...your Thai boss comes in wearing a blue suit, brown shoes, and white socks and you no longer think it looks odd

...you are surprised to see a Thai wearing a genuine Rolex watch

...you no longer think it strange to share your bed with the wife and the kids

...you can still get it on with the wife despite having the kids asleep in the bed

.......you check to see if it is Wednesday before clipping your toe nails.

.......you have stopped asking 'why?'

.......the lady cleaning the floor gives you a neck massage while you are at the urinal.

........it makes sense to visit the 'black magic' man.

........you prefer the Thai-dubbed version of the movie.