The week that was in Thailand news: From Russia…..and The Gambia…..with love.

 

 

There is little the Thais hate more – especially those in power – than those pesky foreigners going on about and getting in on the sex act.

 

While few Thais are really in denial about the extent of the sex industry in Thailand they are still Thai which means they love to hide behind a veneer of respectability as they think it looks good.

 

Those in power, as much as Somchai on the street, believe – usually mistakenly – that their statements will be taken at face value. I am afraid this misconception about the IQ of others is all rather connected to the education system where great store is put on conformity and obedience surrounding age and status.

 

They have a great propensity to at least pretend to believe what they are told for the sake of togetherness and nationhood. In many ways it is important to have this binding because in reality there is a deep seated distrust of the Thais by the Thais (that sets the lie to misguided expats who mistakenly think that the Thai IQ is low).

 

Not that the Thais usually tell foreigners this. That would only serve to negate the strength of the binding that makes up the Thai House of Cards.

 

When it comes to sex and prostitution in particular there is always an appearance of moral outrage. How could anyone suggest that Thailand so much as bonks let alone encourages such frivolity!

 

Cover your ears Gran!

 

It is almost a quarter of a century ago now when Thailand banned the Longman dictionary for suggesting that Bangkok was known as a city of prostitutes. At the time the capital was as full of them as it is today though perhaps these days many sell their wares on Line and Facebook rather than New Petchaburi or the dark corners of Suan Lum.

 

Events this week showed that nothing has really changed in the Thai psyche over the years. In the last seven days we saw the familiar “mockrage” as the general PM got his ‘gangeng nai’ in a proverbial twist over comments from a minister in The Gambia calling on sex tourists to leave his country alone and go to Thailand instead.

 

Prayut urged Thailand to stop being a sex destination for foreigners because his manual of Thai Niyom demanded he must say that.

 

His comments contained no advice on how and indeed what should be done to replace the sizeable chunk of revenue that eradicating erotica would do to both local GDP and the tourism pie.

 

The latter was announced as US53 billion as the TAT also voiced their concerns on sex tourism.

 

I couldn’t tell you how much of that 53 billion is generated by genitalia. “Official” stats put the number of prostitutes anywhere between 100,000 and 2 million.

 

I suppose it depends on who you include though Rooster has always believed it is a tad nearer to the higher figure based on what a friend told me.

 

Similarly, it is anyone’s guess what proportion of the tourism revenue in baht terms comes from the sex industry and its wider associated activities. However, it should also be remembered that whatever the tourists do it is dwarfed by the Thais themselves who engage in pay for play rather in the manner of a national sport.

 

Which was why the former tourism minister’s pronouncements in 2016 that she would strive to end the industry were all such twaddle that stretched that binding of Thai-ness to breaking point as the local males guffawed into their som tam and Saeng Som.

 

And ordered another karaoke girl to go.

 

Adding to the lighter side of all this sex talk – and more than a little intrigue – was the week long affair of the Russian sex instructors rounded up at a hotel in Pattaya.

 

What at first appeared to be an opportunity to laugh at Alexy and Anastasia and co. for stealing Thai jobs took on an altogether different complexion as the husband and wife team mentioned connections with oligarchs, government ministers in Russia and even the arch buffoon himself in Trumpistan.

 

“We’ll be killed if we are sent back to Russia” they opined from the paddy-wagon as the Thais tried to find that country on their stockpile of old maps that unhelpfully only listed the USSR.

 

Soon the story was in the Washington Post and Anastasia was given her more bad-ass name of Nastya as she tried to implicate everyone, and get US help to save her and hubby from a trip to Siberia…or worse.

 

All this shenanigans about sex and international intrigue was all quite good news for General P. The man nicknamed as Big Too (a Thai word meaning to grab by force) was clearly delighted that some deflection was available from the latest delay in the election now said to be due in February 2019.

 

The Bangkok Post quietly removed their countdown to November that they had trumpeted as putting pressure on Big Too to keep his word.

 

While a miffed junta spokesman – that Khaosod amusingly said ran a detention facility for government opponents – announced that activists poking fun at Prayut by wearing Pinocchio masks at Thammasat Uni could be dealt with “softly or severely”.

 

Bless! The “Yut-Nocchio” masks were a hoot and the giant, ever-increasing noses were a reminder of a classic scene from the Ramakien (or Ramayana) where monkey king Hanuman’s massive mouth swallows Phra Ram’s pavilion.

 

But there the similarities stopped because as we all should know the Thai version of the epic has, thanks to modifications by His Majesty Rama II, got a “happy ending”.

 

Less happy endings were in store for several Thais at the opposite ends of the social strata this week.

 

Police General Salang Bunnag, 81, jumped off a department store ending an eventful life. He was connected controversially to the events of “October 6th” 1976 at Thammasat that was one of the blackest episodes in Thailand’s modern history.

 

Some aging Thais will have been raising a glass to that death on the sly.

 

Readers may know that the Bunnag family were eying the highest echelons of power in the middle years of the 19^th century, designs thwarted by the foresight of King Chulalongkorn in installing his own family into key ministerial and administrative roles.

 

Salang, in a final gesture of big-headedness and no little intrigue, had a suicide note saying that his demise was somehow “beneficial”.

 

Don’t bother writing in future, general, we understand.

 

Decidedly unhappy especially for “Phra Thong Thiaw” (the God of Tourism) was the shooting of two jet-ski operators on the beach at Chaweng. As “hundreds of tourists fled in terror” the TAT gasped in horror at the potential for lost revenue and the governor muttered some nonsense about banning guns in Samui, Pangan and Koh Tao.

 

Double Bless! Such statements will have as much effect on gun crime down there as Drumpf’s “vote for me” pronouncements on guns before a mildly miffed NRA across the ponds.  

 

The only good news to come out of the Chaweng shooting was that the operators kept the deaths in their feuding families. Frankly, it would probably be a good thing if there were more shootouts at the “OK Coral” to keep the shysters’ numbers down so the tourists can have a better “Dock Holliday”.

 

Also worried adverse effects on tourism – a staple of stories from QUOTES (the Queen Of The Eastern Seaboard) – was Pattaya station chief Apichai Krobpetch.

 

I’ll hand it to the chief, he sure is good at keeping a straight face. He could go far though many would say that he has already reached somewhat of a pinnacle by being the most quoted policeman in Thailand except perhaps for Surachet Hakpal – or Big Joke – who was rounding up more ‘dark skinned’ overstaying miscreants this week.

 

The Pol Col in Pattaya reminded his compatriots not to attack tourists (and especially not US military ones) as he practiced his best forced grimace and got his underlings to round up a few of the usual suspects selling Rolex at the resort.

 

He is a bit of a lad is the chief – you couldn’t actually call him shining top brass as he is a bit tanned for that esteemed role.

 

Let’s just say his brass is a tad tarnished…..in the nicest possible way, of course.

 

Big Joke – or rice gruel - remains the flavor of the last few months after all his crackdowns on the “Darlies” (if you don’t understand that Google Thai toothpaste).

 

He has certainly taken a leaf out of the former Bangkok commissioner Sanit Mahathavorn’s book in knowing how to get the best attention of the media. The press conference announcing a measly 78 arrests was held in Soi Cowboy though the street had no connection whatsoever to any crime, sex or otherwise, it appeared.

 

T(o)wit, Apichai might do better to set up his conferences in Walking Street for maximum effect. The backdrop of gawking Chinese tourists will blot out the sex industry and he will always be assured of a smiling crowd more interested in lychees than lynching suspects.

 

Finally, there were developments in two of the biggest stories – or perhaps we should say dramas – of the last few months. The 30 million baht “Who really won the lottery?” scandal and the 100,000 baht matter of “Who’s going to jail for smoking?” on the Thai beaches.

 

It will come as no surprise that the investigators found that the policeman at the center of the former is as innocent as the driven snow but the now accused teacher and the lottery vendor are not going down without a fight saying they will contest charges against them.

 

The reality is that it is one of those stories that is almost impossible to figure out. Mrs Rooster asked my opinion out of the blue this week but despite the fact that I have translated reams of copy from Thai to English on the matter I professed that I am still none the wiser.

 

It’d probably be just as accurate for the judge to go into chambers and get out the judicial coin for a good old toss on that one.

 

While best headline of the week was reserved for the “mor nuat” females of Jomtien beach who have been helping the authorities warn tourists about the smoking ban and have even collected up more than 100,000 fag ends.

 

Thaivisa readers who thought they might get a bit of lascivious lechery when clicking on the story were left disappointed perhaps reminded that sex and Thailand are indeed strange bedfellows.

 

The article was headed:

 

“Massage ladies show off their butts at City Hall”.

 

Rooster.

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-03-03

Well done Rooster.

A delight to read.

Excellent read, most enjoyable. Love living in this colourful country ! 

Just the right amount of tongue and cheek.

Makes my Sunday ! Thanks Rooster!

1 hour ago, mikebell said:

Just the right amount of tongue and cheek.

Is that comment in reference to butts at City Hall?

.. A delectable piece , thoroughly enjoyed reading !!  

I think the motto for Thai authorities, when lecturing others about good morales and the like, is:

 

"Do as I say, not as I do!"

OK Corral/Dock Holiday - brilliant!


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

Very well analyzed in an humorous way. Thank you 

Good analyzed Thank you.