Thai airways "It's been a pressure having you."

My girl friend telling me that she means it "from the heart of her bottom".

Try ordering milk in your tea. Get the tones right "Sai Nom" (shake your tits.)

I once ordered popadoms in an Indian restaurant and the waiter asked if I wanted the popadoms "with the foot". I was confused and asked what foot? I didn't order a foot.? He of course meant "with the food" . The whole family were killing themselves laughing.

One day we talked about terrorists and all the nastiness in the middle east for a bit. After that, we spoke about her visa for a while.

Then, she asked me if there are 'tourists' in thailand.

me: 'yes, lots of them.'

wife: 'In Bangkok?', she asked.

me: 'yes, lots in BKK'

wife: 'how do they get into Thailand?'

me: 'they get visas at the airport'

me: 'what kind of visa?'

me: 'tourist visa'

wife: 'really? a tourist visa? thailand have visa special for tourist?'

me: 'yes, 30-days usually'

wife: 'for all tourists?'

me: 'yes, most tourists can get a 30-day visa'

wife:' i do not think we should have tourist visas at all'

she had a tough time pronouncing 'terrorists'.

One day we talked about terrorists and all the nastiness in the middle east for a bit.  After that, we spoke about her visa for a while.

Then, she asked me if there are 'tourists' in thailand. 

me:  'yes, lots of them.' 

snip

she had a tough time pronouncing 'terrorists'.

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When living in Japan, my wife's motehr called to say she had bought a Somen bachi which is a bowl to eat somen ( a cold noddle) from.

I could not hear her clearly and thought she said Shoben bachi.

Now shoben is a toilet.

My wife and her mother almost wet their pants laughing at me.

]

Today we were driving to Athens in the car and I have something of a cold.

I started sneezing....

My Wife: "You be flu."

Wanting to correct her English, I said, "No. You 'have' the flu."

My Wife confused: "No, you have the flu. I not have flu."

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Me and the wife were eating the other day, and I pointed at one item of food and said something like " eat that, it's good for you ".... she looked back at me and said " good for you too "...!

Also...

She spent a long time cleaning the house a while back, because everything was " dinky "..

and this one had me puzzled for days...

We were in the market and she said to me, " you want some red water ?"...

Can you guess what she meant.... (hint - it wasn't red water)

totster

Thai airways "It's been a pressure having you."

I like when they say " have a nice fright "

Apart from the usual hilarious mispronunciations, my wife chucks in the odd spoonerism now and again, especially if she's a bit preoccupied. My all-time favourite is:-

"It's in the chicken" instead of "It's in the kitchen"

God bless her little cotton socks!

My Thai students nearly always get confused between air hostesses and air hostages.

The air hostages take care of the passengers.

The passengers were afraid of the air hostesses.

Wife wanting to buy a pillow filled with "bird hair".

My friend help up a picture of a kettle in a kids class and asked them all "what's this?"

One kid at the back yelled out "ELECTRIC BOIL!"

I asked my girlfriend what was the flavour of the frozen roti she picked up.

"Hippo".

Turned out to be the brand. What a laugh.

My gf living now in Canada asks me... "Honey you see ice fall from the sky?"

It had snowed that day LOL

my gf and I were having dinner with my parents a couple of weeks ago.

My girlfriend started scratching her arm, then she looks at me and says 'cun' really loud.

My mum nearly spat her drink out

My Bro and sister in law live on Samui, around 3 am one morning I get a phone call. Sis in law, sobbing her heart out, ****** me and ***** we have accident.

Even louder bawling! Oh shit!. What happened? Accident motorbike? are you ok?

Is he ok? are you in hospital? etc etc. Only after 5 minutes of puzzled silence and having shat myself I realised she meant ARGUMENT.

Apart from the usual hilarious mispronunciations, my wife chucks in the odd spoonerism now and again, especially if she's a bit preoccupied. My all-time favourite is:-

"It's in the chicken" instead of "It's in the kitchen"

God bless her little cotton socks!

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Same as my wifey, who also likes to say "big just a little bit"

The wife and I went out for a steak the other night, when she asked the waitress for some tobacco sauce. The waitress had a horrifying look on her face and asked her what she wanted. "Tobacco sauce " she said for my steak. After seeing the waitress reaction on her face, I explained to her that she would like some "Tabasco Sauce". The look on the waitress face was priceless.

When I first met wife her English skills were really rusty and I used to enjoy the innocent double entendres that she'd come out with.

Like she'd say "We go market after we go post office".

Now, this could mean 'FIRST we will go to the market THEN go to the post office'

Or it could mean. 'We will go to the market AFTER we have been to the post office'

I just used to follow the wife and see where she headed for first. Sometimes I wanted to clarify where we were going but used to think 'Fuuck It! I'm not pushed for time or anything.' The first few minutes was like being on a mystery tour of the town.

We were camping at a busy park in New Zealand one summer not long after moving in together. On our way back into the campground from shopping we were debating something or other and joking around a bit and it somehow led to me flipping her the bird.. in a joking manner of course.

Well, I had taught her what exact words said gesture represented not long before that and she almost got it right when she pointed out that I was being impolite to her...

"No.. you don't &lt;deleted&gt; me!" She said... somewhat loudly.

Well, I'd never seen so many people in one place fall so silent.

We stayed in that night.

cv

When I met g/f she didn't speak much English so I only have myself to blame.

One thing she says which makes me chuckle even in the most serious case is if I ask her if she is telling the truth, she replies "Am square" which I interpret to mean "I swear".

The Glai/Glai thing...I've noticed even Thais seem to avoid this. They tend to use the 'far' Glai all the time and avoid the 'near' one.

Talart mai glai. (the market is NOT far).

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Well, as a Thai, I've gotta tell you that we don't try to avoid using the word "glai(near) at all. It's just because, the question about the distance tends to be" Is it FAR?" and the question tends to be" It's not FAR"

Q: "Glai(far) mai?"

A: "Mai Glai(far)"

Hope this gets you some idea about why we tend to use "far"more than "near".

I've heard this quite a few times: "Oh My Buddah". It makes me laff everytime.

My ex was very keen to learn all about Thai language (speaking,Writing and Reading). I asked him to say "sua sai sue non sua" (a tiger wears a shirt,sleeps on a mat) and he couldn't pronounce it correctly. What he said was "a mat wears a tiger,sleeps on a shirt!

But, it's been one year and he speaks excellent Thai now.

Ask your GF to say that for you. I bet you wouldn't make it right, but it's fun to try and good laugh for your GF. LOL

my gf said she was going to ''bomb uncle'', turns out he was getting cremated!

On another famous occassion we were in bed together and I passed wind. She turned over and said:- " How many dog die stomach you?"

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LOL That was funny! so..how many dogs?

my gf said she was going to ''bomb uncle'', turns out he was getting cremated!

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I actually heard one person refer to a cremation as a barbeque..

Was not so funny at the time..

I actually heard one person refer to a cremation as a barbeque..

Was not so funny at the time..

Great..... I've been telling everyone how my wife and I met at a barbeque.

cv

Ah's gwine ta open a bbq restaurant in Suphan...with enough chiles and nam pla even corpses would taste good to the local folk...

Ah's gwine ta open a bbq restaurant in Suphan...with enough chiles and nam pla even corpses would taste good to the local folk...

Note to self.... do NOT eat BBQ in Suphan.

cv

It’s a full moon, right, she says “same moon” ok I’m a alien but where does she think we come from

> It’s a full moon, right, she says “same moon” ok I’m a alien

> but where does she think we come from

Likely her name is Chan or Phen or otherwise moon-related.

Close it was Chadaratt, nick Jeab.