Relationships and age differences, a personal case study

[IAMHERE]

You are using up her youth; I hope you reward her before you are finished with her.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, IAMHERE said:

You are using up her youth; I hope you reward her before you are finished with her.

Believe me, I have told her many times she would be better off long term with a younger guy.  

 

[Gecko123]

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/7e7ae80d-4c91-46ca-b671-29bb0b8e681b

[Rolanddrums]

On a serious note I for one am tired of these 'Ageist Comments' I see creeping in on threads  about more mature guys with young girl friends .  No 2 guys are the same and no 2 girls either . So yes maybe 9 from 10 girls age 20 want a 'Korean boyband ' style bf...but that still leaves the other one who likes older guys who they find warm,  and a whole lot better in bed to ( maybe)  . Surprise surprise but a real hot young cutie could easily earn 100K + a month on the bar seen , so at say 20k a month from a farrang they aint in it for the money, at least not in the short term . Some people just connect . Regarding the guys surprise surprise if you stink of BO , got a huge beer belly , hair where it shouldnt be growing etc ... then I doubt ANY girl would find you physically attractive. You need to do something about it . No ones perfect .But for example a bit of exercise/ 2 showers a day / clean teeth / a hair cut ..is not IMO too much effort to make. Also not coming home drunk everynight and boxing the GF is an advantage to.

Edited March 8, 2018 by Rolanddrums

[4MyEgo]

9 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

Good luck to the op but a 34 year age gap is a fair one,my first Thai wife was 10 years younger than me my second is 13 years younger i am 53.It is hard enough to have a lot in common due to cultural differences,but we mostly get on fine,but i really don't know what i would talk about with a 20 year old.

Who needs to talk, you just look each other in the eyes when facing each other, and sweat 

[Lacessit]

Age difference is irrelevant. Read Robert Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" for an entirely different take on how relationships and parenthood should work.

Good luck to the OP. Enjoy.

[4MyEgo]

On a more serious note: Just enjoy, don't wear your heart on your sleeve, sounds like you don't, and have fun as others have said.

 

Don't worry about the age difference, she will keep you young at heart, and always remember, don't be a cheap Charlie, and only invest as much as your prepared to lose.

 

Best of luck to you, mine is 21 years my junior and I feel younger than ever every day since I met her 11 years ago.

 

Rock on !

Edited March 8, 2018 by 4MyEgo

[4MyEgo]

27 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/7e7ae80d-4c91-46ca-b671-29bb0b8e681b

Lust

[4MyEgo]

44 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

Believe me, I have told her many times she would be better off long term with a younger guy.  

 

The more you tell her that, the more she love u because of your selflessness, don't be a chump, dig in, tell her to remember, she belongs with you 

 

Did I say don't be a chump, dig in, enjoy her, 20, starting to lose respect for yah already dad 

[Isansapper]

There are some similarities in my current 'relationship'. An attractive, proper girl i.e. not from a bar, pays her own way and is a wonderfully attentive companion and lover. However, because of her age I find I'm talking myself out of having a future with her. We haven't had the conversations yet but I am 100% convinced that I will neither marry nor procreate again. I assume (I know, never assume) that these are both things that she will want and I don't want her to waste her time on me if that is the case. As fond as I am of her I don't think it can go on for much longer because I feel I am cheating her.

 

I know I'm extremely lucky and I'm not looking for sympathy, advice or brickbats, just unloading.

[GoDucks]

1 hour ago, Isansapper said:

There are some similarities in my current 'relationship'. An attractive, proper girl i.e. not from a bar, pays her own way and is a wonderfully attentive companion and lover. However, because of her age I find I'm talking myself out of having a future with her. We haven't had the conversations yet but I am 100% convinced that I will neither marry nor procreate again. I assume (I know, never assume) that these are both things that she will want and I don't want her to waste her time on me if that is the case. As fond as I am of her I don't think it can go on for much longer because I feel I am cheating her.

 

I know I'm extremely lucky and I'm not looking for sympathy, advice or brickbats, just unloading.

These are things that I also contemplated at the beginning of this relationship.  My girl is adamant that she does not want children.  Nor do I, but I would consider it if the changes her mind.  Marriage--we both agree its just a piece of paper.  Its unimportant to us.

[Mac98]

19 hours ago, The manic said:

You are as young as the girl you are feelling! 

 

14 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

Good luck to the op but a 34 year age gap is a fair one,my first Thai wife was 10 years younger than me my second is 13 years younger i am 53.It is hard enough to have a lot in common due to cultural differences,but we mostly get on fine,but i really don't know what i would talk about with a 20 year old.

You talk about your lives, including what's for dinner, or if that dress makes YOU look fat. I doubt you would date someone your age and then sit around quoting Thatcher. Like all men, you mostly listen.

[Mac98]

5 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

On a more serious note: Just enjoy, don't wear your heart on your sleeve, sounds like you don't, and have fun as others have said.

 

Don't worry about the age difference, she will keep you young at heart, and always remember, don't be a cheap Charlie, and only invest as much as your prepared to lose.

 

Best of luck to you, mine is 21 years my junior and I feel younger than ever every day since I met her 11 years ago.

 

Rock on !

Good advice! Don't keep too tight a grip on her. She's got a busier life than you do. My gf is half my age: 76/38. Three years now and a delight to have her around. Also have a lovely lady friend, and fellow world traveler, who I met 18 years ago when she was 22. The three of us have a great time together and I never wonder what there is to talk about.

[Kadilo]

Hate to break up this craddle-robbers love fest,  but would somebody hand me an air sickness bag before I throw up.  A 12th grade student attracted to a 56 year old guy????   There's only one word for that: abnormal. Is this girl mentally or developmentally handicapped in some way? Has she ever been sexually abused? The OP's obviously not going to tell us, but I highly doubt we're getting the full picture. I've taught high school in Thailand for many years. Most students at that age have crushes on Korean boy band members and Thai heart throbs, not middle age foreign men. And if they go after a foreign man it's only because they're shallowly mezmerized by the lifestyle being offered.
 

Ok it's fine to be jealous.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[ToddinChonburi]

Sounds good enjoy and stop thinking to much.

[Berkshire]

7 hours ago, GoDucks said:

These are things that I also contemplated at the beginning of this relationship.  My girl is adamant that she does not want children.  Nor do I, but I would consider it if the changes her mind.  Marriage--we both agree its just a piece of paper.  Its unimportant to us.

Firstly, good luck to you.  But regarding children, nearly every childless Thai girl I've met who's serious about a relationship wanted kids.  So maybe your GF just wants to keep her options open.  I would think at some point, if she were the marrying type, she'd want to start a family.  Perhaps she's too young to know.  If she really likes you and you told her you wanted kids, her tune might change.

[catman20]

13 hours ago, GoDucks said:

yep

great body , enjoy it while it lasts and if it dose not last you will have some great memories.

[GoDucks]

9 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Firstly, good luck to you.  But regarding children, nearly every childless Thai girl I've met who's serious about a relationship wanted kids.  So maybe your GF just wants to keep her options open.  I would think at some point, if she were the marrying type, she'd want to start a family.  Perhaps she's too young to know.  If she really likes you and you told her you wanted kids, her tune might change.

Yes I know.  Most want kids.  She has a cousin that had a kid last year.  She says she never wants kids.  But I realize she may change her mind whenshe is 30

[simoh1490]

12 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Hate to break up this craddle-robbers love fest,  but would somebody hand me an air sickness bag before I throw up.  A 12th grade student attracted to a 56 year old guy????   There's only one word for that: abnormal. Is this girl mentally or developmentally handicapped in some way? Has she ever been sexually abused? The OP's obviously not going to tell us, but I highly doubt we're getting the full picture. I've taught high school in Thailand for many years. Most students at that age have crushes on Korean boy band members and Thai heart throbs, not middle age foreign men. And if they go after a foreign man it's only because they're shallowly mezmerized by the lifestyle being offered.

 

Another more normal option is that the young lady in question is actually very very smart, somebody who wants something much better for her extended family and is willing to play the long game to get it, there are millions of such girls in Asia who regard personal sacrifice in return for improved wealth to be a good strategy. I have no reason to believe the OP's girlfriend is in this category, but I'm surprised that you went for the less obvious and likely reason of her being mentally handicapped over the more common and more obvious one, Thailand is not I should point out a nation of deep thinkers hence shallow thinking is common.

[catman20]

10 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Firstly, good luck to you.  But regarding children, nearly every childless Thai girl I've met who's serious about a relationship wanted kids.  So maybe your GF just wants to keep her options open.  I would think at some point, if she were the marrying type, she'd want to start a family.  Perhaps she's too young to know.  If she really likes you and you told her you wanted kids, her tune might change.

id do yourself a favor as i did when i was your age go and have a vasectomy. having kids is a young man sport, i never see a 55/60 year old farang pushing a pram look very happy.

[catman20]

12 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Hate to break up this craddle-robbers love fest,  but would somebody hand me an air sickness bag before I throw up.  A 12th grade student attracted to a 56 year old guy????   There's only one word for that: abnormal. Is this girl mentally or developmentally handicapped in some way? Has she ever been sexually abused? The OP's obviously not going to tell us, but I highly doubt we're getting the full picture. I've taught high school in Thailand for many years. Most students at that age have crushes on Korean boy band members and Thai heart throbs, not middle age foreign men. And if they go after a foreign man it's only because they're shallowly mezmerized by the lifestyle being offered.

 

now heres a fairly honest post..

nicely worded i think you just about covered everything,

[Justfine]

11 hours ago, GoDucks said:

I was 52 and she ws just finishing M6 when we met--although she told me she was a uni student.

No, she has never been physically abused, sexually or otherwise.

When she was 15 she was crazy about Korean bands.  Then she developed a crush on Justin Beiber and started memorizing all of his songs.  She became obsessed with English and Western culture.  

As mentioned many times, she never asks or even wants anything from me.  She often complains if I spend too much at a restaurant and suggests something cheaper would have bene just fine.  And she refuses to consider a trip to the US until she can pay for it herself....

Mentally disabled?  She is on academic scholarship at her university...  LOL

 

Daddy issues.

[GoDucks]

4 minutes ago, catman20 said:

now heres a fairly honest post..

nicely worded i think you just about covered everything,

Yeah I forgot to mention (sarcasm) that she is mentally challenged and been abused for years....

LOL 

I fully admit that this is an unusual situation.  But, for whatever reason, it seems she actually likes me quite a bit.  

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, Justfine said:

Daddy issues.

Dad lives at home.  She has a good relationship with him and her entire family--father, mother, grandmother, 2 aunts, 2 cousins, sister and brother all stay together.

I have met them all and they all seem to like me, too.  Although she did tell them I was 10 years younger than I am.

 

[Justfine]

1 minute ago, GoDucks said:

Dad lives at home.  She has a good relationship with him and her entire family--father, mother, grandmother, 2 aunts, 2 cousins, sister and brother all stay together.

I have met them all and they all seem to like me, too.  Although she did tell them I was 10 years younger than I am.

 

Whole family wants a holiday.

[Justfine]

3 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

Dad lives at home.  She has a good relationship with him and her entire family--father, mother, grandmother, 2 aunts, 2 cousins, sister and brother all stay together.

I have met them all and they all seem to like me, too.  Although she did tell them I was 10 years younger than I am.

 

Sounds too perfect. Highly doubt any of it now.

 

You made the story up didn't you?

 

[catman20]

1 minute ago, GoDucks said:

Yeah I forgot to mention (sarcasm) that she is mentally challenged and been abused for years....

LOL 

I fully admit that this is an unusual situation.  But, for whatever reason, it seems she actually likes me quite a bit.  

as i said great, enjoy it. in many ways i think maybe a few TV members are a bit Jealous .

[GoDucks]

Just now, Justfine said:

Sounds too perfect. Highly doubt any of it now.

 

You made the story up didn't you?

 

LOL  Nope.  The only reason I am in this relationship is because, after six months, I realized she was the sweetest, kindest person I had ever had a relationship with.  Ever.  And, having survived 20 years of marriage with a bi polar ex, I thought I might deserve a break from the insanity.

And two years later I still wonder how I got so lucky--and I would feel that way if she were 30 instead of 20.

[Justfine]

Just now, GoDucks said:

LOL  Nope.  The only reason I am in this relationship is because, after six months, I realized she was the sweetest, kindest person I had ever had a relationship with.  Ever.  And, having survived 20 years of marriage with a bi polar ex, I thought I might deserve a break from the insanity.

And two years later I still wonder how I got so lucky--and I would feel that way if she were 30 instead of 20.

Why are you posting it here?

 

 

[GoDucks]

Just now, Justfine said:

Why are you posting it here?

 

 

Mainly because I occasionally see posts about how some older guy met some younger girl and how its OBVIOUSLY just about money, and how he is an idiot, etc.

I just wanted to give my individual story which contradicts the norm.