Need some advise from Outsiders about living etc.

[Sam564]

Dear Community,

 

I just returned to Thailand after about 29 Years Living in Europe and the States. My age is 29 :), and yeah i am Thai.

To be honest i don't speak Thai, i just started to learn Thai about 2-3 Months ago, its a bit Hard.

My family background is my Dad is a Australian fellow :) and my Mom is Thai. She didn't teach me Thai or lets say i didn't have any time.

I speak English, German, French and Chinese and talking to Thai people is not easy :), many Thais English is not that good here in Nord East, In Bangkok i had less trouble to get around.

 

In Germany i had quite a good life,  i earned easily 30k euro a month. but my Thai family (not my mom) insisted me to come home and get settled in lol.

They expect me to get married etc.., and they had someone already in mind.  They say that i am already getting to old and keep telling me that others son and daughter in Thailand already are married and or got kids lol.

I said i would have kids when i am around 40 lol, hell broke out. My Australian Family,  especially my Aussie Grandparents are all cool about it.

 

Now i would like to ask you guys about finance when you get married, how do Thai people handle it.

About my finances:

 

I earn around 450.000- 600.000 Bath a month or yearly income 6- 7 mil Bath. (Sales and Job)

Now i also have assets outside of Thailand, in Germany(1 House 1,5 mil EURO, Car,  Antik and Stocks, Bonds etc....., if i guess  the Value, its around  2,5 mil Euros all together).

You can say i earned most of it myself, like 75% and the rest came from my Dad.

 

About my lifestyle, i don't drink or smoke or go well clubbing :), yeah i can eat anything. I am not a picky person.

What i earn i always save up, i have bought a House in Khon Kaen, so i dont pay rent.

You can say that i only spend about only 50k bath a month on myself. Car, maid, food. Dogs(3 of them, 2 German one and 1 Thai).

 

 

 

Now lets say if i get married next month or something like that, do Thai people have something like a prenup ? Or a contract which says that anything that i had before the marriage my Wife will not get anything in case of a divorce or a breakup.

Also if my Dad and Grandparents(Aussie) leave me all their assets(which will happen, i am the only child), could i make sure she doesn't get anything if a divorce happens?

I am just asking, because my Mom(very European) said to me never to trust your Wife with money until you die :).

 

And yeah does a wedding  cost much? Or do i have to expect anything like pay for her Family etc. I am New in this kind of thing.

But i heard about that you have to pay like 1- 1,5 Mil Bath for everything, Hotel venue, gifts and so on. Am i right here?

 

I just need some advise or any tips and Information . Everything is welcome.

 

 

Thanks

 

 

 

[tingtongtourist]

so if i may ask..why you choose kon khaen?

 

and why you would be asking these questions here?

 surely your mother and father is the ones to tell you about those issues?

 

i would not be in any hurry to marry either and actually you might be better to consider meeting the one your parents suggest.

if they have long term friends here then its possible they socialise in better circles.

 

your parents contacts gonna be a better way than internet matchups anyway.

 

if you do go looking, do not tell the ladies what you write here about your wealth and such. they will run all over you!

be prepared for lots of lies and BS!

[Sam564]

1 minute ago, swissie said:

OK!

Whatever assets you earned before marriage will remain YOUR assets. So, a "prenup" agreement is not really necessary, unless you want to protect your future income.

Unless you set certain limits from the very beginning, to "please your Thai-Family" can be very costly.

With your asset/income situation you are Hi-SO in Thailand. Be selective and go slow. You can afford to go slow, perhaps the main asset you have.

Cheers.

 

 

Yeah my dilemma is or lets say my mother (as i dont give a damn) gets the pressure from her mother.

That if i don't marry a thai i wont get anything from her(grandmom), she would give it to others in the family.

Its a bit of fortune( around 80 rai in land etc...) that my mother would like to get. HAHA.(Sounds greedy)

Dont misunderstand me please, i do not really give a crap about the fortune what my grandmother has, i am more like my dad. You earn everything yourself.

But my mother doesn't like to see this goes to my other family members, Uncle, aunts etc,... Thai family members are so annoying.

When i meet them i feel like i don't belong here.

Thats why my mom is trying to get me hook up with a daughter from a good family :)

 

[Sam564]

4 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

so if i may ask..why you choose kon khaen?

 

and why you would be asking these questions here?

 surely your mother and father is the ones to tell you about those issues?

 

i would not be in any hurry to marry either and actually you might be better to consider meeting the one your parents suggest.

if they have long term friends here then its possible they socialise in better circles.

 

your parents contacts gonna be a better way than internet matchups anyway.

 

if you do go looking, do not tell the ladies what you write here about your wealth and such. they will run all over you!

be prepared for lots of lies and BS!

 

i choose Khon Kaen, because my family lives here.

I just like to get a perspective of outsiders or better say NONE Thais.

Well to be honest, my parent already have someone in mind and yeah, its true connections not a dating website :).

 

I don't go looking for dates, my Thai family wouldn't allow it anyway if i bring someone home that doesn't fit.

 

 

 

 

[ubonjoe]

Unhelpful posts and replies have been removed. Not directly related to Isaan so moving this to the marriage and divorce forum.

[KC 71]

If you can speak Chinese ,come to Chiang Rai


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Andyfez]

With an income like yours I suggest you buy your mother some land, and stay single!

[jak2002003]

I'll marry you if you let me have half of all that wealth!

 

Seriously... don't get married because you are pressured into it.  You don't need the money and the family you have seems selfish to make you do that just for money.

 

Old enough to have your own life now and not be bossed about my your mother. 

[Katipo]

As much as it may hurt, I think you need to put yourself first here. The reason is simply because everyone else is putting themselves first at the expense of your happiness.

 

I could be wrong, but it seems by bringing you back to marry a girl they picked, they will 1) be gaining a certain amount of control over you (and can happily ask you for money when they need it), and 2) the woman they have picked for you will likely be bringing benefits too, either financial or through status.

 

First and foremost,  do not let anyone blackmail/manipulate you in marrying someone you don't want to, no matter who may be trying. Offer to assist your mother financially in others ways if this is something you worry about. Mother's who care about their children should not put their desires before the happiness and well being of their children.

 

They are trying to use you as a chess pawn by certain members of your family to serve their own wants and desires. As a man who grew up in a different world, this will almost certainly lead you down a path to unhappiness.

 

 

[jenny2017]

11 hours ago, Sam564 said:

 

i choose Khon Kaen, because my family lives here.

I just like to get a perspective of outsiders or better say NONE Thais.

Well to be honest, my parent already have someone in mind and yeah, its true connections not a dating website :).

 

I don't go looking for dates, my Thai family wouldn't allow it anyway if i bring someone home that doesn't fit.

 

 

 

 

You are old enough to understand that Thai women are a little bit different to European women, most also look much better, are not that big, etc..

 

  But you need to take your time to check a woman out. Learn Thai, there's a lot of good stuff on YouTube, you won't regret it.

 

Once Thai women find out that you speak Thai and understand them, it's not only easier to find the right girl, you're much more respected.

 

   The SinSod exists, but there are too many lies on the Internet. SinSod is usually given back to you and if your wife would sleep with another man, you could even ask for more money back.

 

Never make the mistake and marry too early, it can take a while to get to know somebody. It's completely different when you meet a girl from time to time and both have their own places to live to a relationship where you'll be together 24/7.

 

  With your income you can think about living near the ocean, but just give it some time to get familiar with this country.

Don't marry a woman with kids, there are so many good looking singles that you'll have a big choice of good looking and intelligent girls.

 

Looking good isn't the only thing you should consider. The sexier the girl is, so more other men would love to stay with her.

Find somebody who understands you, respects you and somebody who can have a healthy conversation about topics that are important.

 

Not one who's always updating her Facebook page. Good luck. 

 

  

[tomacht8]

You are in your mid 40s.
You have 2,5 mio Euros, around 100 mio baht,
then there is no reason to deal quickly with marriage issues.
Take your time and go with the flow.
Relax and enjoy everything what Thailand has to offer.

[seancbk]

11 minutes ago, tomacht8 said:

You are in your mid 40s.
You have 2,5 mio Euros, around 100 mio baht,
then there is no reason to deal quickly with marriage issues.
Take your time and go with the flow.
Relax and enjoy everything what Thailand has to offer.

 

Since when was 29 mid 40's ?

 

[jenny2017]

13 minutes ago, tomacht8 said:

You are in your mid 40s.
You have 2,5 mio Euros, around 100 mio baht,
then there is no reason to deal quickly with marriage issues.
Take your time and go with the flow.
Relax and enjoy everything what Thailand has to offer.

??? How can he be in his mid forties when he wrote that he's 29? Is it really that difficult to read a single post? 

[jenny2017]

3 minutes ago, seancbk said:

 

Since when was 29 mid 40's ?

 

Sorry, we wrote at the same time. Dyslexia pure. 

Edited April 6, 2018 by jenny2017

[PatOngo]

Batman has some good advice......

 

 

[jenny2017]

Just now, PatOngo said:

Batman has some good advice......

 

 

 

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, jak2002003 said:

I'll marry you if you let me have half of all that wealth!

 

Seriously... don't get married because you are pressured into it.  You don't need the money and the family you have seems selfish to make you do that just for money.

 

Old enough to have your own life now and not be bossed about my your mother. 

 

And you do have options, here and abroad, keep that in mind.

 

 

 

[dundas]

The problem with marrying for your family's sake is that you give up your own manhood and regress to being 'a good boy.'  Not sure that's a good reason ... 

[fvw53]

If your dad is Australian you should have his nationality and not Thai nationality

Or did you acquire Thai nationality? Then how did you enter Thailand..which of passport?

Any way only Thai nationals can own land in Thailand

 

 

[Sam564]

If your dad is Australian you should have his nationality and not Thai nationality Or did you acquire Thai nationality? Then how did you enter Thailand..which of passport?

Any way only Thai nationals can own land in Thailand

 

 

 

 

 

I have a Thai password, that’s why i can own land.

My parents wanted that I have a Thai passport.

And I didn’t go to the army, my parents paid(gifted) some one that has a position in the army so I didn’t need to do anything.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

[Thingamabob]

My advice-stay away. If you cannot, watch your back at all times. Best of luck.

[1FinickyOne]

Sounds like you are doing well for yourself... w/o family help. You are certainly old enough to view all the different cultures you have been exposed to and make your own decisions... good luck to you - - - and you will be happiest if the decisions of your life are made by you... 

[Sam564]

1 hour ago, dundas said:

The problem with marrying for your family's sake is that you give up your own manhood and regress to being 'a good boy.'  Not sure that's a good reason ... 

Thats a bit a trouble, the thing is the girl they had in mind, she still not even finish studying:), you could think what i am thinking about it. I told we can date a bit to get to know each other(doing it anyway now), and when she finish her studies we can look if we suited for each other. She still needs 2 years.(Doctor)

I am also not a guy that to tell my future Wife what to do, if she wants to work or stay at home, its up to her.

And i believe also that her Parents are pushing her for our marriage.

Its so complicated to please everyone, i wish i would jump on the plane a stay in Germany or united states :), life was so much easier.

And if we have children, i would like to bring them up outside of Thailand(boarding school), of course will lead conflict with her parents:).

 

My opinion its that the schooling in Thailand is just crap(my aunt kids for example, they go to a international school in Bangkok and they still cant speak good english).

 

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Sam564

[Sam564]

7 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

My advice-stay away. If you cannot, watch your back at all times. Best of luck.

 

 

Thats my Dad said to me, he said he was lucky to find my mother. But he also said that it wont be easy to find someone like her. Thats what he thinks about it all.

[Bangkok Barry]

13 hours ago, Sam564 said:

ts a bit of fortune( around 80 rai in land etc..

 

It's only worth a lot of money if it's sold. Otherwise it's just land. Would the family sell it? In my 25 years of experience in Thailand they would not, even if it isn't used for anything practical, because it was given to them by family.

[Thingamabob]

My advice-stay away. If you cannot, proceed with great. caution. Best of luck.

[Sam564]

3 hours ago, Andyfez said:

With an income like yours I suggest you buy your mother some land, and stay single!

 

She has her own, its just that she doesnt want her relatives get anything:).  She believes that her mother should give everything to me.

[Sam564]

1 minute ago, Bangkok Barry said:

 

It's only worth a lot of money if it's sold. Otherwise it's just land. Would the family sell it? In my 25 years of experience in Thailand they would not, even if it isn't used for anything practical, because it was given to them by family.

 

Exactly, the land hasn't been done anything with it, been given to the next generation etc..... you can say it like that.

Of course my grand mom (my mother too), own property that they rent or sell to customers.

[Brunolem]

33 minutes ago, Sam564 said:

 

 

Thats my Dad said to me, he said he was lucky to find my mother. But he also said that it wont be easy to find someone like her. Thats what he thinks about it all.

What did you say your real name was again?

Zuckerberg?

At 29 you have done very well for yourself, and I am not convinced that this brutal and complete change of environment and culture can bring anything good to you.

Before even thinking of getting married, buying real estate or anything else, you have to realize what you are getting into.

No matter what you may believe, or what people around may tell you, it takes a lot of time to grasp all the local cultural issues, especially in Isaan.

As I wrote in another thread, I am still waiting to have a constructive conversation with an Isaan-Thai person after 20 years.

It doesn't bother me because I am not a big talker, and I am retired, but are you ready for that at 29?

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Brunolem

[Brunolem]

44 minutes ago, Sam564 said:

She still needs 2 years.(Doctor)

 

And i believe also that her Parents are pushing her for our marriage.

 

Its so complicated to please everyone, i wish i would jump on the plane a stay in Germany or united states :), life was so much easier.

 

My opinion its that the schooling in Thailand is just crap(my aunt kids for example, they go to a international school in Bangkok and they still cant speak good english).

 

 

Doctor as in MD or Ph D?

 

If they know about your net worth, you can be sure that they gonna push...hard...for the marriage...

 

Anyway, given your profile, it seems to me that you are going to get bored very quickly in Isaan, which is before all a place for retired Westerners who like to take it slow...

 

My feeling is that someone like you would much better fit in a place like Singapore, for many reasons.

 

Why don't you take your "fiancee" over there for a few holidays...see the place and at the same time see how she fares once outside her cocoon...they also have the best schools in the world over there...