The week that was in Thailand news: Overreaction or doing squat – Welcome to Thailand!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Overreaction or doing squat – Welcome to Thailand!

 

 

In my experience Thais have two contrasting reactions to a crisis.

 

Do absolutely nothing or go completely over the top!

 

The laissez-faire attitude or the knee jerk reaction is seen in all forms of private and public life and can often catch the unwary foreigner out.

 

Like those occasions when the seductive smile hides the imminent pincer attack of the disgruntled missus over something as absurdly trivial as a spot of harmless imaginary infidelity.

 

Or when you expect outrage and reaction to pour forth immediately but they just put another piece of fried chicken on the Barbie and wonder why Johnny Foreigner is getting so hot under the collar over a dozen bus deaths or the assassination of an entire family.

 

Part of the trick of successful living in Thailand is to try to remain calm when everyone about you is going ballistic; and to try to encourage a modicum of action when doing squat all appears to be the order of the day.

 

This week on Thaivisa – in the realm of public life at least – we saw both polar opposites aplenty as Thais overreacted then underreacted blowing hot and cold like the turning off and on of an air-conditioner.

 

Somewhat hilariously falling into the camp of overreaction were the authorities in Hua Hin after the shark bite on Werner Danielsen’s leg got everyone jumping about, if not the unfortunate Norwegian.

 

Initially a doctor – who should have encouraged disaster mitigation by keeping schtum – couldn’t help himself and blamed the naughty barnacles for the bite marks miraculously arranged in the shape of a jaw.

 

This foolishness is typical of doctors the world over but particularly prevalent in Thailand where the white coat and the saffron robe enjoy special privileges of untouchability even in the face of patent idiocy.

 

But soon Dr Duh’s superiors were suggesting he get some attention from his white coated colleagues at Sri Thanya (Bangkok’s loony bin) as it was obviously a shark. (Though the reality was that someone on high decided that more tourist kudos on this occasion would be garnered from admission rather than denial).

 

The monks at the temple of Wat Khao Tao cried “Jaws” and one only had to look at all those posts on Facebook of circling predators……on this occasion all out of uniform.

 

Cue action! First stop was to do the Thai thing with the basket of chicken essence and the roses at the bed of the victim.

 

It was standing room only at the hospital as every “kha ratchagarn” south of Bangkok descended on Hua Hin to Mr Danielsen’s bedside in a desperate attempt to break the all-comers record for most people in a private hospital room set back at Songkran in 2016 when the Owen family were attacked in the Battle of Soi Bintabaht.

 

The victim kept his composure and read from the script outlined in Article 2d (subsection 4/3): What visitors to the kingdom will be requested to say in the event of something untoward that may affect tourism.

 

“Sharks don’t worry me one bit” he opined as the obligatory thumbs up were given before the officials scurried off to continue doing their damnedest to make it look like they were earning their pittance.

 

In two shakes of a shark’s tail meetings were held, directives issued, a beach was closed and signage in English went up even if the syntax would have made any self-respecting, offshore predator wince.

 

And now everyone was a shark expert and we could all go back home for some Som Tam and gai yang and wait for the next opportunity to bluster when, as was stated by a Kaset fisheries expert, the risk was one in 200 million.

 

If only such decisive action were to take place on Carnage Central…..the roads.

 

The pocket general – perhaps exasperated that despite all his minging minions’ efforts to the contrary – has clearly accepted that the Thai driving public are irredeemably incorrigible and, besides, he’ll get back in as PM one way or another so he won’t need their votes anyway.

 

Or maybe his advisers pointed out that most deaths were reported amongst the motorcycle riding country bumpkins who would vote for the opposition anyway so it was win-win.

 

Deputy Prawit, however, seemed to have got his watches in a twist, as there appeared to have been communication with Chakthip Chaijinda, the head of police, who transferred four chiefs for their less than stellar showing in reaching the target of 7.1% less misery.

 

With all accident stats showing everything was worse than last year it was inevitable that heads would roll……

 

Prawit attempted to deflect the public from the roads by pooh-poohing the notion that he is suffering from some Dreaded Lurgy. No, he is perfectly well, he said, though Rooster still thinks he may be suffering some congenital memory issues to go along with that well-known medical problem, and in his case irreversible condition, of “Clinical Fugliness”.

 

Perhaps taking his cue regarding overreaction from the previous week’s horror in the handicapped toilets at Tesco Lotus in Chumpon when a wealthy woman was stabbed to death, was the British man holidaying from Pattaya in the north east who dispatched his young Thai wife in the driveway of the family home.

 

Sex, or the lack of it, was mentioned but the tragedy is exacerbated by the presence of three young children. Somewhat surprisingly, seeing as strangulation was also admitted along with kicking, was that the Brit was charged not with murder but manslaughter.

 

However, it’ll still mean 20 years of rice gruel – certainly no Man’s Laughter.

 

Top Drama of the week – if you’ll excuse Rooster’s boredom with yet another selfish driver refusing to pull over for a dying heart attack victim in an ambulance – concerned the US YouTuber who posted about his rotten experience in a Bangkok taxi.

 

“Danny Mac” – as he is known - went on his channel to explain how he had been ripped off and compared to a nasty variety of guava after travelling back to Krung Thep from Chiang Mai.

 

The driver turned on the waterworks for the cameras expecting sympathy but it was hardly surprising that the overwhelming opinion of the court of social media from both Thai and foreign judges came down squarely on the side of the passenger.

 

Rooster, a long term Thai teacher who appreciated the accurate five tones of the American’s reasoned rant in the vernacular, had to agree too.

 

‘Somchai’ – not his real name as I don’t want to face defamation charges – had clearly been caught out and though it was all over a paltry few baht it really is high time that those in the service industry realize that tips are not compulsory and good service is the way to acquire them; not behaving like a Thai todger bandying petty insults about like confetti.

 

Rooster has stood up for taxi drivers in Thailand in feature stories and the Midweek Rant on Thaivisa. This has incurred the wrath of many who said I had gone troppo and there were in fact no redeeming features of any of this particular breed of shark.

 

Despite some anecdotal evidence to the contrary – who has not had a bad experience after all? – I firmly believe that most cabbies in the capital at least offer a safe and value for money service.

 

Besides, they gave me enough friendly and free Thai lessons in the early days to earn a lifetime’s appreciation.

 

I generally returned the favor by telling them which was the best way to my destination.

 

Severe reaction happens in Thailand when cultural mores are threatened but the same can also be expected whenever a bastion of British-ness is under attack. This week we saw such a case when a fried breakfast was posted online.

 

Shock horror and disgrace! Apparently the poster had brought trouble on himself – or was it a woman worried about her waistline – when they asked for the Veggie Breakfast Special.

 

It was hardly surprising when the calorie loaded fried tomatoes, lard slathered bread and oil-laced sunny side down eggs were accompanied on the plate by the shocking sight of mountains of pale, over-boiled cauliflower and, worse still, that revolting aberration that put the NON in nonfood,  baby sweet corn.

 

Rightfully, the Pattaya Breakfast Club were up in indignant arms at the assault on this scion of Blighty-dom as Khaosod joined the media bandwagon in questioning the sanity of anyone who would have veg for breakfast when a potential heart attack is clearly preferable and far tastier.

 

The offending plate was served up in Yasothorn where in a few weeks the largest rocket festival in the North-East will take place.

 

Perhaps the folk there should stick to their own “Bang Fai” bangers and leave the Brits to theirs!

 

Rooster, brought up in London on English delicacies like Kebab, Vindaloo and Onion Bhaji, would still rather go with that than most Thai food.

 

Sure, I’ve tried some of it, even taught Thai cooking to children, but when it comes to fodder in the Rooster household you’ll see breakfast marmalade, HP and chips for lunch and Colman’s hot mustard slathered on meat roasted in an oven for dinner.

 

Even Mrs Rooster is a convert to lamb but accepts that I’ll go up in smoke long before even trying “pla ra” (fermented fish), bamboo soup or last month’s prawns smashed to oblivion and consumed with shrubs gathered by the roadside.

 

Most nights it’s all I can do to hide my olfactory shock behind the grimace of a smile as I give her a forced and satirical “Bon Appetite”.

 

Tastes in food we can laugh about….other tastes we cannot.

 

I refer to years ago when the reaction to cases of child prostitution were invariably those of under-reaction as that thickest of carpet, the Thai shag-pile, was rolled out to cover the butts of everyone from the procurers and the customers to the disgraceful families who routinely sold their daughters into sexual slavery for a few thousand baht.

 

The Thais have moved on somewhat, and increasingly under the international spotlight in matters of human trafficking, this country is no longer a safe haven for those who might harm children for their own sick pleasures.

 

Apropos, this week saw very long and just sentences handed out to eight people in Mae Hong Sorn, many of whom are unlikely to ever enjoy “joke” on the outside again.

 

But these were procurers and facilitators; what is needed now is similar official vigor in going after the customers without whom this disgraceful trade may one day be consigned to the bin of Thai history where it rightly belongs.

 

Finally, my two Rooster awards this week both concern the same story. In a week that once again featured the appalling carnage on the highways my “Lifetime Specsavers Voucher” goes to the woman in the pick-up who somehow failed to see the motorcyclist directly in front of her face at the U-turn.

 

To make matters worse she really believed she was being public-spirited by not fleeing the scene after being caught on CCTV driving over the victim who somehow survived.

 

My “Post of the Week” goes once again to serial forum wag “Darcula” who commenting on the incident remarked:

 

“Here’s another view of the accident from inside the vehicle….”

 

He then posted a picture of the screen of a smart phone.

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-04-21

[Tradewind777]

As always Rooster, you are right on the money and awesomely topical. Hope you had a Happy Songkran by the way.

[Jane Dough]

16 minutes ago, Tradewind777 said:

As always Rooster, you are right on the money and awesomely topical. Hope you had a Happy Songkran by the way.

Rooster says thank you and tells me that he spent a delightful and quiet Songkran with the door bolted and YouTube running red hot.

[NRGF]

Well writ, read with pleasure.

[Curmudgeon1]

Rooster, a few less similes, metaphors, adjectives and adverbs would make your article less work to read. There is a point of "overdoing it" . IMO

Your observations are right on the money ?

[nausea]

On 21/04/2018 at 8:25 PM, rooster59 said:

Like those occasions when the seductive smile hides the imminent pincer attack of the disgruntled missus over something as absurdly trivial as a spot of harmless imaginary infidelity.

Love it; we are all human, and this will be bl**dy expensive; like a new pick-up. But cheap at half the price; at least you won't get your balls cut off and fed to the ducks.

 

On 21/04/2018 at 8:25 PM, rooster59 said:

 

Despite some anecdotal evidence to the contrary – who has not had a bad experience after all? – I firmly believe that most cabbies in the capital at least offer a safe and value for money service.

Hear, hear.