To "Wai" Or Not?

[Snark]

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[taxexile]

( very) superstitious thais believe that a child wai-ed by an adult will have their lives shortened by seven years.

[plachon]

The only people I wai are my wife's family (respectful wai to older members every time I meet them, more casual wai to family members of my age and not every time). I have not had to wai a senior monk yet but think I know how 'high' I need to wai

I agree that wai-ing waitresses etc is in conflict with the whole reason for waiing (ie showing respect).

But I also think that a farang wai, however clumsily performed, demonstrates an effort to understand Thai culture, and his/her efforts should be commended.

I'm with you Simon. There's no point in wai-ing everything that moves, but erring on the side of caution and returning wais proffered, when in doubt, is probably looked on more positively by Thais than a haughty "I'm a farang and farangs never wai" attitude. AS you live here longer, and learn the social norms and cultural ways more thoroughly, then you'll gradually learn when to wai, and when it is inappropriate. Older people have more of a dilemma than younger ones in some ways about when to wai, but then Thais also offer more respect to the elderly than Westerners, and are prepared to forgive their "eccentricities" more. But keeping washed, laundered and presentable is probably more important to acceptance in the long run!

[Snark]

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[KevinN]

And if you are old enough, then a WAI is not expected,and I am older than dirt and so therefore it is not expected of me,,so there

[sickbuffalo]

KevinN, That is not correct.

Although I have never been in business in Thailand, many of my friends are. It is the height of rudeness not to wai someone, who has showed you their respect in wai-ing you.

Would you wai, on meeting the King or a government official?, it would seem pretty stupid and rude if you didnt!

[stroll]

What about eye contact while wai-ing? Sorry to be pedantic, really like to know. My friends look me in the eyes when they do the 'casual' wai, to which I usually respond with a slight bow, too embarrased to get the wai wrong. My GF isn't too happy about it, but it attracts a lecture on my bad manners rather than the 'nudge in the ribs'. I guess I get away with it, being the stupid old geezer as they concluded already...(only joking).

In formal circumstances would eyecontact be a sign of disrespect, or of trust? Please comment, Snark.

[Snark]

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[KevinN]

SICKBUFF; Well according to my wife,who by the way is a Thai and has lived here for 45 years, Is graduated from univ.,has been in govt.employ for over 20 years and is ranked as a colonel says that it is not expected of me due to my age and being a farang.

A slight nod of the head and a smile is the best thing to do and is acceptable to all conserned.

And what do you think my chances of being presented to HRH are?

[plachon]

SICKBUFF; Well according to my wife,who by the way is a Thai and has lived here for 45 years, Is graduated from univ.,has been in govt.employ for over 20 years and is ranked as a colonel says that it is not expected of me due to my age and being a farang.

A slight nod of the head and a smile is the best thing to do and is acceptable to all conserned.

And what do you think my chances of being presented to HRH are?

Slight, one hopes Kev...............

Your wife is a very wise woman, as she realises the significance of the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks", of which there is a Thai equivalent, but I can't think of it off the top of my head. Snark - over to you?

[KevinN]

PLACHON, Thanks,,sure the shits getting called stupid and impolite by some dink that pobly never even been to Thailand and has no idea about what it takes to live here and be happy,I have a lot of Thai friends and i live away from the normal farang hangouts so either Thai friends or none. and I would think my wife would know best as she been here a long time.

[stroll]

Judging by your style of writing, Kevin, I wouldn't have guessed you're a longterm resident in Thailand. Let's say it is surprisingly 'undiplomatic'.

[taxexile]

Judging by your style of writing, Kevin, I wouldn't have guessed you're a longterm resident in Thailand. Let's say it is surprisingly 'undiplomatic'.

i find kevins offerings on this forum to be bitingly accurate, down to earth,no bs opinions of how he sees and lives life here.

i think he has it well worked out.

[NedKelly]

Honestly, if you don't know the jao nai ladder, you really shouldn't intrude in Thai social customs

What a croc !!

So next time I hear some stupid foreigner trying to say "g'day mate" ......I should tell them to stop intruding in my social customs !!?????

[stroll]

Judging by your style of writing, Kevin, I wouldn't have guessed you're a longterm resident in Thailand. Let's say it is surprisingly 'undiplomatic'.

i find kevins offerings on this forum to be bitingly accurate, down to earth,no bs opinions of how he sees and lives life here.

i think he has it well worked out.

My apologies, I was reacting to the tone of the last post without knowing much about the person.

And my thanks to Snark, I learned a lot from this thread, have started to practise in front of the mirror, before I out myself as a wai-er in public.

[bangsaen bob]

I usually don't because I don't want to make my self look stupid. Good rules in prior reply's.

If my wife tells me to, that's a good hint. For sure, never children. Don't ever touch anyone on the head. That's a real no no.

When a kid does it to me, I just reply "sawadee kop" not really sure if that's proper or not. I'll check that out with my wife.

Good luck

[NedKelly]

Consider this........you geta tuk tuk home one night and the driver gives you a wai.........you think to yourself...I am higher than thou so thanks for your wai but I am not wai - ing back.

Some days later your new g/f invites you home to meet the parents......you walk in and thier (her father) is the tuk tuk driver !!!

What do you do ???

[taxexile]

What do you do ???

you assess your relative status using basic snarkian principles and the well known formula

{y+(jao nai -3ด้)} x k = coefficient of social acceptance on the jao-nai ladder.

and then act accordingly

y= relative decrepitude of tuk tuk drivers shack.

k= desirability of daughter using the baseline theory of probable outcome.

with no offence to the snarkster, but your jao-nai stuff cracks me up.

[maerim]

Some days later your new g/f invites you home to meet the parents......you walk in and thier (her father) is the tuk tuk driver !!!

What do you do ???

Apologise profusely about not giving him his 20 baht tip and slip him a 100 baht note.

Works every time.

[Kan Win]

Wai

Nice Fred, thank you all.

Normally a nod of the head, but should I need to, then I put my right hand on my heart and bow my head a little and the Thais like that one. After that, I extend my hand to shake their hand. Works a treat.

High – So persons etc. – I Wai, as do all the others around me – I look at how they do it and I try and do it the same as they do.

The "Hand on the Heart" way makes me feel great and part of the community. As a European, that is the best respect I Kan give them.

Try it, it may work for you also.

One Kan, only but try.

It is a classic way to gain respect from Thais IMHO whilst not Wai-ing and yet more respectful from me to them, me think

[frenchFARANGbkk]

It seems everybody forgets that Thai are not stupid and could just understand when you Wai them that it is because you just want to show you're a friendly farang, and that you just want to show some respect.

And I don't think they expect you to be a 'master of wai.'

[frenchFARANGbkk]

Just a question, does your wife/girlfriend wai all the temples she meets?

[tatom]

Im quite comfortable with the wai and would rather wai someone than shake thier hand after they just had thier finger in thier nose up to the second knuckle. I think most of us who have been here awhile have it pretty much figured out. There will always be a few who try to "go native" and wai everyone, Ronald Mac., the bus drivers, the guys working at Big C who wai customers for a living, etc. My wife used to just say in English, "dont forget to salute", when a wai was in order. What I dont like is that I have to initiate a wai to my wifes older sister, upon coming and going, or the sister gets pissed off. Im older than her and have to call her "p", but she calls me "Tom"! I know what some of you are thinking, but I want to keep harmony in the family, so I wai away when I see her. A wai is quite natural to Thai people and it can become so with us also. I think, not returning a wai when one is called for, is the same as not shaking a hand that is offered.

[Snark]

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[Snark]

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[Gatsby]

It's quite interesting what well-intentioned people have posted here, but I am American, and we pretty much believe that everyone was created equally.

I have been an Adjan and all that, but I wai absolutely anyone who wais me, just like I would return a polite gesture in the West.

I consider it a blow against any type of class system, and for equality and democracy!

It probably has no effect on anything, what-so-ever, but that is how I like to think of it.

I do the same thing. It embarasses the ###### out of my wife, so I stopped. It just comes naturally. If someone says "how you doing?" I would reply "fine, and yourself?" it just seems like the "polite" thing to do. I am also an American.

[OxfordWill]

got my gf to do the royal wai just now - very beautiful. I feel like a king

[taxexile]

is that the one where you get down on your knees ?

[OxfordWill]

Yea, well, close..hands on thigh, bend knees and bow head while left leg makes a circle around to behind the right leg.

[taxexile]

Yea, well, close..hands on thigh, bend knees and bow head while left leg makes a circle around to behind the right leg.

your girl friend knows morris dancing ?????? amazing !